A Blog With No Theme

July 4, 2008 -

John Heald

Due to the fact that our Interactive TV system is about as active as dead Sloth people have not seen my shows etc and therefore many have no clue who I am…………….and I hate that. I worked past quite a few guests last night and said hello and although most replied with a cheery Hello, you could tell some had no clue who I was.

I could have been an officer, an electrician or the aerobics instructor……………………….ok………………that was stupid………..of course I could never be an electrician.

At the welcome aboard show the room was pretty full but that still means that 1500 guests were not there . They usually watch the reruns and this coupled with the fact that we have had two straight days in port and last night having no stage time because of the dancers show………….something had to be done.

So, there at 7:30am – 9:00am I walked the decks, stopped by tour departures and introduced myself to as many guests as I could. I chated to people from the USA, Canada and a couple from Germany. I then met Pauline and John Boughtwood from Colorado. This is their first cruise and they are having a great time.What makes their story interesting is that John will not fly…………….not because he is scared but because he suffers from terrible pain in his ears if he does…………..so………..this was their journey.

COLORADO – NEW YORK – BY CAR

NEW YORK – CHERBOURG FRANCE – QUEEN MARY 2

CHERBOURG – GENOA – BY TRAIN

GENOA – DOVER – CARNIVAL SPLENDOR

DOVER – SOUTHAMPTON – TRAIN

SOUTHAMPTON – NEW YORK – QUEEN MARY 2

NEW YORK – COLORADO – CAR

Wow, that’s an amazing journey. It is also proof that Carnival Corporation could try and link the different companies to accommodate such journeys………….it’s a brilliant way to travel.

So, after talking to as many guests as I could I felt a little better and I will have some time on stage tonight as I introduce Mel Mellers our fly on entertainer who provides a mix of comedy and magic that is totally unique.

Hopefully the interactive TV system will be fixed soon but until then I will make sure I apologize over the PA system. This also stops people calling the Information Desk thinking theirs is the only TV that is not working correctly.

Well, today we are in Barcelona and while the guests enjoyed exploring in the sunshine ( it’s another beautiful day ) I hosted another plaque exchange ceremony. Amongst the invited guests was a man who must have been the bravest person in the world. Never in my life have I seen someone with so many medals on his chest…………in fact they were not just on his chest but all the way down his waist and past his knee……………..and he was a Port Police Officer…………….maybe he gave himself one every time he caught a ship speeding?…………….who knows……………Ithe Captain presented him with a plaque which I am sure he is going to have welded onto the back of his uniform.

Have a look at this.

2219 – DEBARKING IN LE HAVRE

Mrs. &^%$ and Mrs. &^%$ came to the Pursers office and said that they will be debarking in Le Havre. Purser asked if everything was OK and guest admitted that they had not paid parking ticket fines he owed in the UK and so he could not go back. Purser advised to bring the passports the night before in order to prepare the paperwork.

They said they would do so and at that time also would settle the bill. Purser tasked to Housekeeping to advise of above. Port Paper purser informed.

I don’t know what to say about that……………….should I pat him on the back for being brave enough to admit he was a criminal and on the run from the Bobbies or should I as a tax payer demand that he pay what he owes………regardless , as soon as I read this I knew it was one for the blog.

For those of you who have been reading the blog since its humble beginnings you will remember me talk about the difficulties of running a shuttle bus service in the ports here in Europe. These services are provided by either the port authorities or the tour operator and once again when we have a short stay in port they are very busy especially with everyone coming back at the last possible moment. Today, was no exception with a long line waiting to return………….loads of taxis were available but unlike the buses…………they were not free.

Anyway, I have to go as we are preparing to sail…………….back soon.

Here I am.

And congratulations to The Kaiser family…………………….they are the first people ever to miss the Carnival Splendor. We waited………….I paged them………….we left………….they arrived at the pier at 5:40pm………………..40 minutes late………………they are flying to Lisbon and will miss a full day at sea tomorrow.

As usual our agent in Barcelona will look after them and I do feel sorry for them especially as one of the family is just 6 years old…………..I will talk to them on the phone tonight and make sure they are all ok.

Well, we are now sailing to Lisbon, Portugal and the sea conditions are calm and the sun continues to bless us. I was talking to one of the bosun’s yesterday who I know is very superstitious. This was confirmed to me when he told me he was nervous that the ship was sailing without being christened and blessed. I was going to have fun with him about this but the seriousness in his voice told me I had better not……………….you can’t argue with a man who has been at sea for thirty plus years and I know he will feel a lot better when Myleene Klass our Godmother names the vessel officially.

Talking of Myleen, it seems her popularity is growing in the UK. here is an article from the Sun newspaper which i wanted to share with you. For those who are not familiar with the Sun, it is the UK’s most read newspaper and has many great features………..especially on page 3.

Anyway…………..before Heidi sees what I just wrote and you go googling page 3 of the sun here is a link thingy about Myleen.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/article1376777.ece

Well, as this blog seems to have no theme whatsoever, lets continue that with some random photos of the Lido Deck 9 mid ship as we sailed from Barcelona.

Last night a group of us had a drink and a cigar………….I know……………..I should give up……………and I will one day soon…………..anyway……………for some reason we started talking about the art of record breaking and what people will do to get their name in the Guinness Book Of Records………………and sometimes it can be very dangerous.

Last week an Australian frigate sailed thousands of miles to rescue two chaps who were trying to be the first men aged over 60 to row across the Indian Ocean. No, I don’t know why either, but as far as I can tell, they ran out of tinned prunes and decided to call it a day.

The problem is that humans have already climbed the highest mountains and sailed on their own through the wildest and loneliest stretches of ocean. But though the records have gone, the world is still full of explorers.

As a result, these people have to think of stupider things to quench their need for a spot of frostbitten glory. So, they insert a few sub-clauses into the record and set off from Cleveland to become the First Person Ever to Roller Skate Round the World — Backwards….with a doughnut on their head.

Even Mount Everest has not escaped with big manly hairy climbers saying. “Yes, I’m attempting to be the first Canadian person to climb Everest wearing a dress.”

But what record is left to beat?………….The Arctic? We’ve had the first person to drive to the North Pole, the first person to walk to the North Pole unaided and probably, the first to jog there, from Canada, in a dress.

Well, I am going to try and beat the world’s longest continuous blog record. I don’t know who has the record for the longest period of writing a blog each and every day without missing one……………but I bet I can beat it………………even if I have to wear a dress.

Well, time to get ready for the show. Tomorrow I have my first ever morning show and slowly the blog will return to its old and trusted format. The only thing left for me to do is to wish all my American friends a Happy Fourth Of July……………………I hope you have a great family day celebrating beating us Brits. Personally, I wish we had one………….then I could get a decent cup of tea………………………..Miss Ellie The Queen, The Mad Duke and the blind Prince with the jug ears and his wife would be living at the White house ……………………anyone who stubbed their toe or passed gas unexpectedly would say “bugger “………….instead of excuse me…………………..the national sport would be cricket and Denny’s would serve Yorkshire Pudding and Spotted Dick………………. for breakfast.

I’m not bitter…………..honest.

Goodnight
Your friends
John and Heidi

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.