Raspberry Blog – Part 1

September 28, 2008 -

John Heald

It’s 7:30 am and I am sitting in the back of a Mercedes E class heading to see the Carnival Dream. …..and if my driver is anything to go by, my dreams are already coming true …… she is hot!

Yep, normally I get Diego the driver who has the personality of a dead fish but today I have Gabriele. And who cares what her personality is like because she looks like she has come straight from the catwalk. ….oh yes ……..and for some bizarre reason, she has forgotten to put a skirt on and is wearing a belt instead……….the bottom of this blog thingy will say to please excuse the spelling mistakes because of the small keys on my raspberry …….but that’s bollocks ….it’s because of her ….well, you know.

OK, we are now on a road called the A4 heading to Trieste and we are doing 150 kmh. Gabby….as I call her…..has one hand on the wheel and the other is being used to express herself on the cell phone. “Hands free” means nothing here in Italy. It is illegal to use a cell phone while driving so they all have the speaker thingies in their cars. This is supposed to allow for the driver to have both hands on the wheel but this is Italy …… where it is impossible to talk without using your hands………therefore hands free means bugger all and Gabby is proving that now as her hands gyrate like the head of a King Cobra…….she is probably bollocking the person who stole her skirt……she might be mad at whoever forced her to wear the mini, mini skirt ……but I want to give that person a free cruise.

Last night was a beautiful clear night in Venice. It was quite cold and I saw many guests leaving with coats on, which was probably very wise. We had over 400 people who had booked our evening gondola ride and many others ventured ashore to experience Venice by night. For those who remained on board, we had lots of activities and events and the Seaside Theatre big screen was showing Casino Royale with the final sequence featuring Mr. Bond blowing up a palace on the Grand Canal.

I don’t know what happened to Brett and Simone but I am sure their perfect romantic night went well. Heidi and I stayed onboard and it was while I was getting ready to go to bed that I got a call from the pursers’ office who had extraordinary news. Do you remember the lady who wanted a different cabin because she was scared of the sea? Remember how she had said that after discovering we could not change her cabin that she was going to ask other guests to swap? Remember who I poured a whole bucket full of scorn over her and the idea? Well………she bloody well did it.

She persuaded people she had met at tonight’s open sitting dinner change cabins with her……….I was gobsmacked. Let’s put this into perspective. The guests are moving from a deck 8 cabin to a deck 2 cabin. OK, there cabin is an inside and they are getting a window so I guess they did ok and I guess it shows this lady really is scared of the sea………but to have the bravado of asking someone you just sat down to dinner with if they wouldn’t mind changing cabins ………and that couple saying “Yea, no problem, let’s finish our chocolate melting cake and we will go pack”………well, that’s just extraordinary.

I am going to try that the next time I am in a hotel and knock on the door of the penthouse to see if they wouldn’t mind swapping because I am scared of living in a place with just one room.

OK, it took me probably 10 minutes to write that part of the blog but Gabby is still not very happy with the poor sod on the other end of her Nokia. It’s normally about now that I should describe the view of the green and lush Italian countryside. The vines flush with grapes as the harvest continues. I should be telling you about the quaint farmhouses that look like they belong on a Thomas Kincade canvas. I should be telling you about how excited I am at seeing our leviathan the Carnival Dream……but I can’t…….I am human and the male variety at that …..and with Gabby driving the car………………. who cares
about a bunch of grapes?

Back soon
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John and Gabby

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.