The Missing Bit From Monday's Blog

October 13, 2008 -

John Heald

Good Evening………..yes evening………..it’s 11:05 pm and my wife is watching Sex and the City episodes while her and the Thingy munch on bagels and peanut butter…….at 11:05pm. So rather than watch her munch and while she watches the one that looks like a boiled spaniel try on another pair of Jimmy Poo shoes ……..I thought I would say a quick hello………………….oh God…………I hate this show. She made me watch the movie and now she is starting again on series 1.

As I write one of the “girls” has entered a New York discotheque…….. sorry ….it’s a clothes store while the blonde one is making friends with a sailor or seven.

Well, what can I tell you at this late hour?………………Well, apparently I seem to have deleted some of Monday’s blog before I sent it to Stephanie.

This is the bit that is missing

“You need only look at the number of people in lonely-hearts columns who neither drink nor smoke to know I’m right. If they did, they’d have a partner.”

These are the words of Mick Jagger today on the BBC website and Mick …………you are talking crap, mate. I don’t drink or smoke cigarettes………and if I didn’t have the beautiful Heidi by my side I am confident that if I was to apply to a Lonely Hearts Club then I would find someone………….OK………..she may be as ugly as construction workers bottom crack …………..but she would be mine ………. even if I didn’t get drunk every night.

That comment from Mick Jagger really got me mad……………..why do people think just because you don’t drink that you are as boring as a Latin lesson?

I mean……….are these rock stars an example.

Phil Lynott, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, John Bonham, Jim Morrison, Marc Bolan, Eddie Cochran, Brian Epstein, Duane Allman, most of Lynyrd Skynyrd, Cozy Powell, Alex Harvey, Ricky Nelson, Pete Ham and Tom Evans from Badfinger, Tim Hardin, Steely Dan’s drummer, Bon Scott from AC/DC, half of the Grateful Dead, Chas Chandler, Johnny Kidd, Rory Gallagher, James Honeyman Scott and Pete Farndon from the Pretenders, , Elvis, Patsy Cline, Brian Jones, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Terry Kath from Chicago, and Sid Vicious. Even the Carpenters weren’t a safe haven.

Of the 321 well-known musicians who died prematurely in the glory days of rock ‘n roll, 40 were taken by drugs, 36 by suicide and a whopping 22 by plane or helicopter crashes. Thirty-five died in cars, 18 were murdered, nine drowned in their own vomit and five in their own swimming pools. Picking up a guitar seems to be more dangerous than wearing the red shirt in Star Trek.

Well, they may have all loved to drink Mr. Jagger and they might have been fun while they were totally smashed………but they are all dead now………..and that’s as boring as it gets.

Anyway, I have no idea where that bit went. It’s on the saved version but didn’t make it to Stephanie’s computer. Maybe a bit of Heidi’s bagel and peanut butter got stuck in the keyboard.

I’m going to bed now which is where the girls from Sex and the City seem to be spending most of their time………especially the blonde one who apparently only wears underwear to keep her ankles warm.

Goodnight
Your friends
John and Heidi and The Thingy

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.