A Marquee Day

November 1, 2008 -

John Heald

You don’t really get a sense of scale from the pictures — nor do you get an impression of just how colourful and vibrant it is. Designed by a man called Brock, it has an extraordinary blend of fun and presence all with leviathan proportions.

It sits on an empty lot and this morning I got my first look at what we hope will be the world’s largest Piñata. It’s 65 feet tall and with a belly load of candy weighs eight tons. It needed a structural engineer to confirm it was safe and judging but how exuberant the fans were at the Philadelphia CheeseSteaks winning the Universal Baseball thingy………….I am surprised it didn’t have it’s head ripped off and we found fifty drunk Philly fans living in it.

But it survived and there it sits……………..hold on……………….I have to give it a name……………….so……….is a Pinjada and he or a she…………..mmmmm………..well, it’s colourful and doesn’t look very intelligent and everyone wants a piece of her and she is happy to comply………………so therefore please welcome…………Paris the Piñata.

Word has spread already that we are doing something very special and there were already crowds of onlookers peering through the fencing. On the other side of the fence was Noam the Director, the production crew and hundreds of paid film extras all filming the beginnings of what will be a very special commercial. On the other side of the road a huge marquee has been set up…………we are calling it the Fun Village. It will contain 5000 square feet of Carnival style fun including a live band, DJ, a put-put golf thingy, the Fun Booth which enables visitors to send Karaoke e-mails, complimentary hot dogs and ice cream, caricturists….characturists……..characterteris…………people who sketch your face in 3 minutes and of course a chance to win 5 cruises on the Carnival Pride. We have also brought along Cruise Director Malcolm “WooHoo” Burn, Assistant CD Josh “Big Sexy” and two beautiful Carnival Dancers.

They will be holding dances and fun and games before Paris gets the good news with a huge wrecking ball, which will smash open her belly showering everyone in candy.

I don’t like tents and I hate camping. Now camping is fine if you are seven years old, or if you are stuck on a mountain and your fingers are falling off, but I view it in the same way that I view barbecues. What’s the point? Why eat food covered in ash when you have a cooker? Why sleep on the floor and poo in a hole if you have a house, with running water and a bed? Because you want to get close to nature? Fine. Go to a zoo for a few hours. What makes me angry about tents most of all is that all tenting equipment is obviously designed specifically to piss you off. Let us take the zip as a perfect case in point. For 43 years I have raised and lowered the flies in my trousers without getting it caught in the fabric once…………except once…………..still, it was no big thing……………. yet, in the world of tenting, every single zip gets stuck all the time. So there you are, outside in the freezing cold, moving the thing an inch at a time backwards and forwards, knowing that with each tug, and each muttered “Bugger”, more and more of the tent is being swallowed by the fastener.

This tent though is very, very different. It’s the Bentley of tents with astro turf floors, and flushing loos, and heating and lots of thingies designed to make you feel like you are on a luxurious safari in Africa.

They started erecting the tent this morning and here is a photo of how it looked 24 hours before the event begins.

Philadelphia is already in a great mood following their big sports win………..they thought they had seen everything………………….well, they ain’t seen nothing yet……………….wait until they see Paris the Piñata and experience the Carnival style fun village.

You will be able to experience it as well of course as Jordan, Tom, Tony, Walter and of course Stephanie bring you live hot and steaming video tomorrow including videos of all the bloogers who are coming to see me and Paris.

See you tomorrow
Goodnight
Your Friend
John

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.