May 21, 2009 -

John Heald

Went to the gym this morning………..OK…….let me give you a few minutes to recover ……………..yes, I really did……. My diet is going well but I new that sooner or later I would have to start working out and after deciding not to spend thousands of dollars on home gym equipment I thought I would spend thousands of dollars to join a place called LA Fitness.

So, there I was and while ad a big person I can feel comfortable in most walks of life ……. in a gym…….there is no disguising it……..I was a fat bastard. It’s not the fitness freaks that get to me though as they run at 300 mph on the treadmill without breaking a sweat …….I don’t mind them……no the ones I can’t stand……are the body builders of which there were many in evidence this morning. I truly do not understand why men and women want to look like they do.

Don’t get me wrong…….I understand the concept – Mr Wimpman gets kicked in the bollocks frequently by bullies and decides that this will never happen again. Mr Wimpman goes to the gym, meets a chap called Charles Atlas and starts spending inordinate time pumping iron and turning himself into a bulging human vein. If it was a movie, Mr.Wimpman would pick up all the bullies at the same time and say something like: “Now I have your attention, I think you need to cool off…” and hurl them into the sea while beach babes in itsy-bitsy bikinis start stroking his pulsating breasts.

What I don’t get about bodybuilding is that, to me anyway, they look ……. well …….. ugly Women always say that they don’t find these veiny hunks attractive, but that’s probably the same thing as them claiming that the most attractive thing in a man is his sense of humor. I have found that to be complete bollocks as well. I’m sorry, but if the male version is wrong, the female version is totally wrong. It’s not for me but, I can just about understand that some men might want to look like Conan The Barbarian, but what possesses a woman to want to look like that?

One after the other, greased-up uber-ladies paraded about on the stage flexing their non-existent breasts. In fact, it all seems to come down to breasts. While the women lose whatever breastage they had, the men develop huge ones.

Anyway…….while I was at the gym this morning two men in tiny shorts and ripped to the tits on steroids, started shouting at each other and there was some pushing and shoving……maybe one had borrowed the other’s baby oil and not returned it.

So I feel fantastic after my morning work out…….actually that’s a lie …….I feel like death warmed up. What I have tended to do when it comes to the business of being fit is not bother. I eat lots, and then I sit in a chair. The upside to this is that I have a place on which baby Kye can cuddle up on…….my belly is a womb. The downside is that I wobble and wheeze extensively while going to the refrigerator for another chicken drumstick. 

Unfortunately, all this now has to stop because I want to be here for Kye for many a year to come. So there I was walking quickly on the treadmill and trying not to look how far I had gone until 30 minutes into the regime. After 20 minutes I could bear it no longer so I lifted my towel to look to see if I had covered the first mile…….well……according to the digital readout — powered by my exertions, I might add — I had covered 200 metres. This was well short of the four kilometres I’d planned, so I gritted my teeth …….. farted …………….and on I went. 

Eventually, after several hours, I’d made enough electricity to power Detroit and I’d reached my goal, so I tried to dismount. But it was no good. My brain was so stunned by what had just happened that it had lost control of my legs. I also felt dizzy and sick. Fondly, I also imagined that I had a tingling in my left arm and chest pains. The problem I guess is that I have been living on a diet of celery and Diet Coke, which simply doesn’t provide enough calories to reach for the remote control let alone walk four kilometres.

So, I am thinking about giving up my gym membership already and returning to my old philosophy which I want to share with fitness fanatics. Take a look at nature. Nobody looks at a lion and suggests it could catch more wildebeest if it spent less of its day lounging around in the shade. No really. The thing about nature is that everything has a point. Cows developed udders so they could be plugged into milking machines. And humans developed the remote control television so they could spend more time sitting down doing bugger all.

Plainly, then, our stomachs are designed to demand food and feed fat to our arteries for a reason. I don’t know what the reason might be but I suspect it may have something to do with global warming………………everything else does.

Lets do some questions……….here we go.

Clay Caldwell Asked:
John: (pls reply) Does Carnival not offer “Cave Tubing” excursions in Belize anymore. Thanks
At this time we have cancelled all cave tubing tours in Belize. However, we do have some new and exciting additions. Actually I was just talking to the Shore Excursion Director Robert who told me he had just returned from there to check on the land Rover and cave Expedition………………he said it was amazing. Here are the details:
• Take a 45-minute ride to the “Landing”, the base camp for your expedition.
• Participate in a short orientation before your expedition begins.
• Set out in convoy formation and head along the highway.
• Experience the Jungle’s natural beauty as you make your way from the Tourism Village into the heart of the rainforest.
• Ride over some of the most challenging terrain imaginable in the jungle around Gracie Rock.
• Arrive at base camp where local guides will lead you in small groups over a foot suspension bridge.
• Reach the first cave that tunnels through the mountain and emerge into a hidden cirque.
• Be outfitted with a safety helmet and headlamp before your guides lead you through the caves.
• Be entertained with various stories along the way.
• Return to the camp and swim in the river or simply relax as you enjoy some light refreshments.
• Take an open-air 4×4 jungle truck back to the Tourism Village in Belize City.

Sounds great doesn’t it. If you have any further questions on this or anything at all please let me know
Best wishes

Cheryl Donofrio Asked:

Dear John, Heidi, and Kye,
Congratulations again! John this was one of your best blogs ever. It was a two Kleenex read. I applaud you for only throwing up. With low blood sugar, and all the emotional stuff you went through, and the stress of watching Heidi go through the pain of labor, I would have fainted. I was a certified EMT in the state of CT, and the only time I almost fainted in class during training was during the child birth lecture, looking at slides of DRAWINGS of childbirth. Not an actual person, just, well, cartoons. Realistic cartoons, but still. Maybe that’s why whenever women get together when there are no men around, all they want to talk about is childbirth. It really is a badge of honor. Heidi was really brave to do it all without the epidoodle. Sometime, you have to watch the episode of Murphy Brown where she has the baby. It was hilarious.
Thank you for sharing all of this with us. We really do feel like part of the family. Your writing improves all the time. At some point, I really do think you should collect “the best of the blog” and publish it as a book. I’ll be the first in line to get an autographed copy, even if I have to fly to England.
John please Reply – I was a little depressed last night, because I had a klutzy moment and dropped my John Heald’s Blog coffee cup on the floor and it broke into several pieces. I bought it at the photo shop on this year’s Blogger’s Cruise. Is there any way I can buy a replacement?
Your Friend, 
Cheryl D.

John Says:

Hello Cheryl
Thanks for the compliment and sorry I made you cry. Just between me and you, I cried a bit while I was writing it. It was as you described a miracle that I didn’t wake up with a bunch of people standing over me. What with Heidi’s howls of pain and suffering and a low blood sugar I really felt pretty bad. But it was nothing compared to what Heidi was going through and as you said women deserves to wear a badge of honor for doing what they do in the delivery room.
Now, as for the cup. I have a few spares on the Carnival Freedom from the first Bloggers Cruise. I will be back there at the end of June so if you will remind me then I will happily send you one.
Thanks for the kind words
Best wishes

Jennifer and Danny Asked:

Please answer when you can.
John, first, I want to say how dear the little miss Kye is. She is a cutie!!!
We just got home from on the Victory and they do not take cash for bingo. When did they start that and is it the same on all the ships now?
My best to Heidi and Miss Kye.

John Says:

Hello Jennifer and Danny
She is a cutie and thank goodness she gets her looks from me and not Heidi!
Yes, I guess I have never actually touched on this before but indeed the ships are now cashless for all bingo games. This is easier for the staff to handle and also hopefully for the guests as well. Very soon we will be getting more mobile terminals which should speed up the selling process quite a bit. I would be interested to read your thoughts on this and on the rest of the cruise. So, if you have time, please send us your reviews.
Best wishes to you and the family.


Hi John (please respond)
Me again – I am new to your bloggy thingy and have to say I am impressed!! Your way of presenting life on and off the ship is a joy to read!
I also appreciate that we can ask questions and you take the time to actually respond and respond quickly! even in the midst of a life altering (for the better) event!!
Congratulations to you and Heidi on the birth of baby Kye – she is beautiful!!! A liefje schat!! (Heidi will know what that means
I am excited for you that you get to go on the Dream for a spell but wish it could be for about a month longer! I have booked a B2B on her, sailing April 17th and 24th. This is my first B2B and I’m pretty excited!
I have a couple a questions about her though that I’m hoping you can answer or can find the answers to when you are in Italy.
1) Does the promenade deck which wraps around the whole ship jut out beneath the decks above. If I have a balcony room on the Upper or Empress Decks, would I look down onto that deck instead of at the water?
2) Is there doors on the Upper and Empress Decks that will lead to the deck at the front of the ship?
3) I just came off the Liberty and Tommy at the Wine Bar was my favourite and it was a favourite place to go for a pre or post dinner drink. Is there a Wine/Martini type Bar on the Dream?
4) Is there a fish’n’chip place on the Dream? or some type of food venue on the 2nd floor of The Gathering?
Thanks for your help in this and wishing you and your family all the best!

John Says:

Hello Annette
Once again welcome to the blog and I am glad you are finding it so useful. Let me see if I can answer your questions.
1) Does the promenade deck which wraps around the whole ship jut out beneath the decks above. If I have a balcony room on the Upper or Empress Decks, would I look down onto that deck instead of at the water?
The cabins give a wonderful view of the ocean and life on promenade. There are areas of the Carnival Dream which extend outwards which hold the overhang Jacuzzis but the views from the cabins above will be breathtaking for sure I promise. I will be taking photos during my trip in June.
2) Is there doors on the Upper and Empress Decks that will lead to the deck at the front of the ship?
Yes there are. I will check to see what levels are crew decks and which are guest decks. For certain Empress is a passenger deck with a door forward leading to the outside deck and I will check the status of the upper deck for you.
3) I just came off the Liberty and Tommy at the wine bar was my favorite and it was a favorite place to go for a pre or post dinner drink. Is there a Wine/Martini type Bar on the Dream?
Isn’t Tommy fantastic? I have worked with him many times and he really is a charmer. Well, on the Carnival Dream there isn’t a formal wine bar as far as I can tell although we will have some new features that will certainly feature wines and much more that you will have to wait a little before I can tell you all. I will say that if you loved the wine bar on the Conquest class then you wait until you see the Lanai and Ocean Plaza……it’s going to be very special indeed.
4) Is there a fish’n’chip place on the Dream? or some type of food venue on the 2nd floor of The Gathering?
We really haven’t officially announced the cuisine options on Dream – I know our F&B folks are hard at work finalizing the details and you’ll be the first to know. I can tell you that we have a few surprises up our sleeve.
I know you are full of excitement and following my trip in June I promise to tell you all you need and want to know and much more.
Best wishes

Aimee Asked:

John-Please reply
Please do not stop sharing Kye pictures and stories! She is a part of you and that is what you share here on the blog is your thoughts and life, plus all the details about ships and stuff. I just hope we see picture updates and Kye news often! Someone said she has a great many aunts and uncles from this blog thingy and I think all of us enjoy hearing about her 🙂 So I beg of you not to stop!

John Says:

Hello Aimee
Well, as you asked and for you and the many other thousands of her aunties and uncles…………here is Kye aged 6 days.
Key Heald
She is a lazy little thing. All she has done today is eat, sleep and poo……….and she isn’t even French.
Thanks Aimee and my best wishes to you and the family

cruzn buckeye

John-please reply
Okay…now you have gone and done it! I changed my booking on the Dream to Feb. 27. I was booked on the Dream in Sept. 2010 but now that you are going to be the CD in September, I switched! Yes it cost me 100 change fee and I went from a category 8d wraparound balcony to a cat. 6 ocean view for the same price as the 8d wrap! I just wanted to cruise with you as CD at least one more time! I hope your schedule doesn’t change again…
My boyfriend said to let you know that you cost him a wraparound balcony….and you better make it worth his while! ;D ! I am sure you will do everything you can to make him happy that we changed from that wrap to an ocean view!!
See you on February 27! (I will really be in trouble if you are the Dream CD in September after giving away that wrap!)
cruzn buckeye

John Says:

Dear Cruzn:
Oh my goodness. I feel so guilty yet so proud that you have changed your cruise to come sail with me. I will make sure I send a few little goodies to your state room plus give you $100 extra worth of laughter. I promise you and your boyfriend will have a brilliant time and I am so happy that I get to cruise with you both
See you soon

Bobby Asked:

Hi John please reply, I am going on the Valor in two weeks. May 31st, this is the reminder you asked me to send you about getting a window table at our dining. We have the early dining. Our booking number is —- our cabin is —- and last name is T… Thank you. I am so looking forward to this cruise.
Also I wanted to ask are there flat screen TVs in the rooms on the Valor?
You have a beautiful daughter. Take care of both of your girls. You make a great looking family.

John Says:

Hello Bobby
Thanks for the reminder and I have sent your request to Pablo the maitre d. The Carnival Valor does not have the flat screen TV’s but they do have the full interactive service which enables you to watch first run movies on demand and order excursions etc.
Have fun and I look forward to hearing your review of the cruise.
Best wishes

stef aka hockey addict Asked:

Hi John!!
(Please reply when & if you can)
I want to say Congrats again! Kye is beautiful and you guys chose a perfect name. You 3 look wonderful! Kye is beautiful!
I just found out through your blog thingy about the past guest pins. I haven’t been to cruise critic in a few days. I am sooooo bummed! Please tell the powers that be that there are some unhappy campers out here! I was looking forward to getting my Fascination pin in September. You see, that was our first cruise last November. We loved it so much we agreed that there will be no other types of vacations for us. We also agreed we were NOT going to go on that other line. Whypaymore and besurroundedbysnobs of the Seas?
Is there any way possible to set aside one pin for us in September??? I was looking forward to having it and putting it with all of my first cruise stuff. I was going to pin it on my stuffed Fun Ship Freddy. I have a bookshelf with all my memorabilia. If you can’t I will totally understand!
I’ve never been on a cruise with you and I hope we can next year. I don’t know if I am considered a blogger since I have never been on a bloggers cruise… but I would love to be Aunt Stef…. I’m an only child…. this is as close as I could come!
Just a couple more things, I don’t want to take up too much of your time or space on your blog….
Jaime…. Awesome instalment…. don’t tell John I said this… but I think he sees a bright future for you! I look forward to your next Dear John letter.
John…. I hope you guys get plenty of rest!

John Says:

Hello Stef
Such kind words………thank you so much for taking the time to write them. It’s amazing how so many people loved the pins and I can tell you that we are looking into the possibility of making the pins available for sale in our gift shops. Also, I have had dozens of requests from bloggers to have me get them pins from various ships. Obviously I would love to but there is little I can do here in the UK and if I do it for one………well you know what would happen. Instead, I am putting my considerable but every shrinking weight (because of my diet) into doing all I can to have the pins available. So, while there are no certainties yet I promise you that we at Carnival now know how important these pins are to so many and I will keep you informed as to what happens next.
I also hope that one day soon we get to sail with each other.
My best wishes to you and the family

Paul F. Pietrangelo Asked:

REPLY PLEASE JOHN (If you think it’s important)
I’m very disappointed with Carnival that they will no longer pass out pins to past guests. I didn’t need any part but I really enjoyed the fact of receiving those what I thought were important pins. I was looking forward to receiving one with Dream’s name on it. Oh ya, Carnival needed the money to pay for the Dream. John, I’m a very disappointed cruiser at this moment.
Now to something happy. That last picture of the whole family was breathtaking and very beautiful. Thank you for giving it to us. When you mentioned that you would get up a couple of times because you weren’t sure if you could hear Kye breathe, well my friend I did that also and many times. I guess the mother just knows. MaryLou would just tell me to go back to sleep. In fact
I once woke the baby up just to hear her cry and then MaryLou really got angry but hearing that baby cry made me feel good. I wouldn’t recommend doing that John.
Since Carnival has taken the pin away, are going to give us anything? Just wondered.
Paul F. Pietrangelo

John Says:

Hello Paul
I am so sorry you are dissapointed mate but I assure you this decision was not taken lightly and we are now looking at other options which hopefully will have you smiling again. You described exactly how I feel and being a Dad has shone a whole new light onto my world. Thanks for the words of encouragement and advice and I may ask you for more of the same soon
Best wishes to you and all your lovely family

Marqueta Asked:

Please Reply
Congratulations to you and Heidi on your beautiful baby girl Kye. Enjoy her while she is so tiny as they tend to grow up quickly. My baby girl is now 22 and the years just went by far too quickly.
My family will be sailing on the Conquest 24 May 2009. My mother will be going with us and she is handicapped. She rides one of those cute little motorized scooters. We were wondering if you could arrange our dining table to be easily accessible for her to get to. Since this is not our first cruise (#6/5 with Carnival), we know that the aisle ways within the dining room can be rather small in places. It would be great it she could just ride up to the table and then only have to stand up and sit down in her dining chair. We are in two cabins and obviously want to be seated at the same table. Cabin # and #. There are 5 of us total and we don’t mind sharing with other passengers.
Who is the CD on the Conquest now? We sailed her back in 2/2006 and it was Todd Wittmer and he was awesome.
Hugs and Kisses to little Kye and thank you,

John Says:

Hello Marqueta
Thanks so much for the kind words. I hope Kye grows up very slowly and I already have my “bugger off” speech planned when her first boyfriend comes calling. Thanks for letting me know about Mum and of course we can arrange an easily accessible table for you. I will contact the Maitre D and ask him to make it so. The CD will be Chris Jefferson who is an old mate and one of our very finest cruise directors. When you see him please send him my very best.
So, have a wonderful cruise and I look forward to hearing all about it from you when you get home
Best wishes


John (please reply)
First of all, beautiful picture and keep the information and pictures coming. It is obvious from the comments that we are all interested.
Jamie-we are at the 10 day mark for our cruise on the Pride-woohoo!!! We are in Stateroom -come say hello. And I read on another blog about some throw up in a cup being thrown over a tender to land on a person below. Nice! I will be sure to be on the top of that boat.
John-my wonderful husband of 26 years allows me to book cruises to warm, sunny, beach locations which he does not care for. The Pride is our 4th and we hope to rent a cabana for Half Moon Cay so that he will at least be in there while I am perched in the sun. Anyways, I decided to book an Alaskan cruise next May on the Spirit. I am going to keep it a secret until Christmas. He has wanted to do this for years and my struggle is I won’t know how to handle wearing hoodies etc the whole time so I have put it off. But, as I said, he is wonderful to me and spoils me so it is my turn to compromise.
What I wanted from you is I called my PVP (by the way would never use anyone but book through Carnival) to tell her what I wanted to do. She gave me options and I needed to call her back with a credit card (used my sons-kids are good for something) and while doing that, my husband came home. We hung up and were able to complete everything by email. She made sure nothing was going to be mailed to our house and nothing emailed to the wrong email address. DJ Myrick is wonderful. She always takes time with me and searches for the right room and price. She follows up and even notices when I am looking online for a cruise. She treats me like a friend when I call. Is it possible for you or Stephanie to find out who her supervisor is and pass this on? DJ goes above and beyond her job and it is obvious she is happy at Carnival.
Best wishes to you all!

John Says:

Hello Karen
It seems that you are very excited about your Carnival Pride cruise and I am sure Jaime will stop by to say hello and maybe even have a gift for you? I am not sure what blog you read about someone throwing something from a balcony. I checked the incident log from the ship and there are no reports……..oh well, never mind. Please make sure once you get on board you go as soon as possible to the shore excursion desk which is located in the lobby. They open at noon and you should then reserve your cabana as they are quite popular. Your husband will get the shade and realization he needs while you lay before the sun god. What a wonderful story about DJ Myrick whose supervisor Jessica will soon know all about this wonderful example of guest service. So, I will pass on the comments written above and I want to thank you so very much for taking the time to write them. If there is anything I can do for you please let me know
Best wishes to all

Cassandra Asked:

Please reply…
I love the pic of the family! Kye is beautiful! When is the blogger’s cruise on the Carnival dream?

John Says:

Hello Cassandra
We are going to talk about the bloggers cruises in just a few minutes so stand by. Thanks for the kind words and I will keep the photos coming
Best wishes

Ann Henderson Asked:

I’ve e-mailed this to your Facebook, but unsure how often you check it, I decided to post it here as well. I have a question that I’ve been unable to get an answer to, which is, how do you get an invitation to the Captain’s Table? The reason I asked is that I’m about to embark on the Carnival Legend for the 3rd time on May 31st, however, it’s my husband’s 1st cruise. Due to military commitments he’s been unable to sail. Well, through the cruise boards, I’ve found that there will be two other military branches on board as well. We have all decided to wear their military uniforms for the 1st formal night. My husband will wear his Navy whites, Julia will wear her Army Formal (this is her Return from Afghanistan Cruise), and Patrick will wear his Air Force blues. I thought I would attempt to get invites and surprise them as this will be three branches of the military showing their pride at the same time on this cruise. How can I accomplish this?

John Says:

Hello Ann
First of al let me say a massive sorry to those people who write on my Facebook page thingy. I have 2,000 plus friends there and considering I pay these friends bugger all attention I am surprised they are still friends. I just don’t have time to check this as much as I should but I will do better in the future. Anyway, the fastest way to have me help you is via the blog thingy so I am glad you have written in. With that in mind I am sure you must be thrilled that after your husband’s military commitments he is now able to experience the “Fun Ship” style of vacation for himself. It seems that your husband will be joined by other members of the serving military and the best way for them to meet is to have me request a meeting on the first sea day afternoon a few hours before the elegant night starts. So, I will do this via Jen Baxter the CD and please look for a line in the Today at a Glance section in the Carnival Capers for the first sea day. It will read “Serving and retired military meet (unsupervised) and then you can all meet up and decide what to do.” I am sure there will be many guests who will want to shake your husband’s hand.
Hope this is OK.
Best wishes and have a wonderful cruise

Mike Bortoletti Asked:

John please reply
I am a big fan of the blog but have not posted until now so I am not sure if I am able to ask this question to you. My wife and our three children have been on four cruises all with Disney Cruise Line but after reading your blog and speaking to friends (Joyce and Ben Rossi) we have decided to take a Carnival cruise on your ship the Conquest. One concern we have is that we read on the Cruise Critic pages that Carnival does not allow young children to eat in the dining rooms and that they have to eat with the other children at your kid’s camp. We have three children aged 8, 6 and 2 and one thing we always do regardless of what happens during the day is to always make sure the family eats together at dinner. Please can you tell me if this comment is correct and that my children are not allowed to eat with us?
Thank you for the fun you bring me each day. I have a very stressful job as a Police Officer in New York State and am a big fan of the British sense of humor so your blogs are something I look forward to reading.
Congratulations on your new child, being a father is the greatest feeling there is
Thank You
Mike Bortoletti and family

John Says:

Hello Mike
So there you are………..enjoying a meal in a restaurant and trying to tell your wife how much you love her as she sits on the other side of the herb-crusted rack of lamb, but your attention is irresistibly drawn to that large table in the corner where two hapless parents are trying to introduce their Thingies to the joys of eating out…………… and failing.
“Yes darling, it is an Italian restaurant but I shouldn’t think they do spaghetti alphabet hoops, why don’t you try the carbonara, do sit still Porsche, what, already? I told you to go for a poo before we left home, no Nicholas, it’s a pepper-mill darling, not a big penis…….ssssshhhhh…………..keep your voice down, I don’t know why it’s that size, it’s an Italian-waiter thing, please stop sticking that knife in your sister’s leg, yes it is sharp enough or they wouldn’t have put it out, the table is not wobbly, you’re making it wobble, Bloody Hell, Bob………….why didn’t we just stay at home and order pizza?”
There are honorable exceptions, of course, but compared with their counterparts in mainland Europe, British children do not usually fare well in restaurants. In France, Spain or Italy it is not uncommon to see three or four generations of the same family sitting round a communal table, but here any diner under the age of 12 is about as welcome as a fart in church.
Well, none of this will be happening on our ships and I am sorry to say that the comment on the cruise boards is 100% incorrect. Children of all ages are allowed in the dining room and I promise you that you will see many families doing what you mentioned ……… and all meeting for dinner. Our iconic wait staff is all trained to make sure your children have a fun time in the dining room. There is a kids menu and they will love the entertainment the waiters provide together and individually at the table.
I know you will have a great time all together and I hope this first Carnival cruise will be the first of many. If there is anything else I can do for you please let me know. And, as you can see from my reply, I added a bit of humor to it just for you.
My best to you all

As always please let me know if there is anything I can do for you by marking your comment John Please Bugger Off……..and I will………….or John Please reply 🙂

I hope you enjoyed Paul’s photos of St. Thomas yesterday and now we move to his collection of Grand Turk. This has become one of our most popular destinations and of course with the snorkelling, exquisite beaches and our President and CEO Gerry Cahill designed FlowRider it is easy to see why for many Grand Turk is the most exciting of the new Caribbean destinations. Here is a selection of photos for you to drool over.







Yesterday, Stephanie Leavitt hosted a conference call with me and many others in Miami to talk about the Bloggers Cruises on the Carnival Dream. I have to admit we sort of rushed into planning these as some of you had requested one at the end of the year on the new ship. Then some wanted New York and some Florida so we decided to do both.

Well, unlike the one recently on the Carnival Fantasy when 400 plus bloggers sailed together the counts………….so far……..are much less. So, we discussed what we could do for those who are sailing. Well, the format will be similar as the one we just held and will include.


These are just some of the exciting things that will be happening. As for dining …………… well after a lot of thought we have decided to not do a bloggers open seating as we did on the Carnival Fantasy. With all the new dining options available it seems best to allow people to decide what is best for them

OK, the planning continues and all that’s missing is you

Here is the lovely, talented, shy (unless she has more than one glass of wine when she the turns into a giggling party animal) and very talented Stephanie Leavitt to tell you all about these two brilliant cruises.

Hi Everyone,
John pretty much told you most of what’s coming for the November 15 and December 3rd Carnival Dream blogger’s cruises. So all that’s left for me to say is please come and join us! The last two blogger’s cruises were incredible and the next two promise to be the same! Look out for more details coming soon about the group shore excursions, activities and entertainment. Also, don’t forget to use the PBL/CBPL farecode when booking. If you’re not booked with that farecode you won’t be an official part of the group.

Hope to see you soon!

I hope some of you will join me and remember the best thing of all………you will get to be some of the very first guests ever to sail on the Carnival Dream………probably the best cruise ship……….in the world.

Oh my goodness. I just read some shocking and disturbing news. No, I didn’t see someone actually using the climbing wall and no I did not hear that some one saw the Norwegian Epic and didn’t actually vomit………it’s worse………….much worse. According to the US government, GPS and Sat Nav devices could break down within a year because some of the satellites that power the system are approaching their sell-by date. Without serious investment, many drivers will be forced to rely on things like maps, compasses and brains to get to their destination. Well, there is no way I can carry on living then. I am a man and there is no way I am going to pull over and ask someone for directions because this would imply that I am as thick and that they are more intelligent than me.

Anytime I have done this and actually asked for directions I always get a man with more hair in his ears than on his head who starts of his answer with the word “Er.” Hear this word then my suggestion is that you drive off immediately preferably over his foot because he has not bloody clue how to get there but being a man is too proud to say “I haven’t a clue.”

Women on the other hand will always ask for directions just as they will always read the instruction manual that comes with any electrical appliance. Forget the “We want to be cuddled after having rumpy pumpy” it’s asking for directions and reading instructions that make them so very different. I expect even the Queen can be found lying on her stomach in front of the DVD player with the manual ensuring that when she gets back from the banquet she will have recorded Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy……..and the Simpsons.

Your friends
John, Heidi and Kye

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.