A Blog In Any Language

August 31, 2009 -

John Heald

Yes, yes, yes……….here I go again moaning again about flying. You see, this morning I booked my tickets to fly to Trieste and your Carnival Dream and this means that I once again have to experience the IKEA of the airline industry………Ryan Scare. Sorry………Ryan Air. Yes I know Carnival are paying for my flight but it’s not the money I am moaning about…………it’s well ………….let me explain.
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Dream Weaver

August 28, 2009 -

John Heald

Just before I start with today’s jam packed blog I wanted to………..with your kind permission ………..just say this. I have seen that there have been a few comments recently that are quite frankly flippant and somewhat rude. I want you to tell me when we as a company do things that you do not agree with and if you have concerns I will always be here to help. But……..I have decided to, as of today, not to personally respond or reply to any comments that are written only to tell me that they don’t like the blog.
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Malcolm In The Middle OF A Dream

August 27, 2009 -

John Heald

Have a look at these wonderful photos of the new aft cabin section currently being placed on Holland America’s Nieuw Amsterdam …………go ahead…………here’s the link thingy……….I will wait here for you.

http://www.hollandamericablog.com/2009/08/24/nieuw-amsterdam-update-aft-cabin-section/

Ok…….pretty cool stuff isn’t it and an engineering marvel.
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Carnival Dream Photo Blog

August 27, 2009 -

John Heald

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Dream Full of Laughter

August 26, 2009 -

John Heald

I don’t have many friends in the United States or on board and only a few here in the UK. Twenty three years of traveling and an arse that smells like rotten ostrich eggs have meant that friends have come and gone. However the friends I do have…….Alan, Danny, The Bentleys, Roger, Chris etc all have one thing in common……..if they want to contact me they never ……….ever……….use the phone.

My phone never rings. It just sits there, sadly, willing someone, anyone, somewhere, anywhere, to dial its number and let it play its irritating ringtone…….the theme from the Sopranos which considering that bloody annoying Nokia thing “bada da da da bada da da da” isn’t that bad I guess.
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The Green Green Arse…Sorry…Grass Of Home

August 25, 2009 -

John Heald

“Bloody hell John you idiot it’s not going to fit,” Heidi shouted as the sweat dripped down my face.

“It has to, darling. Just one more inch.”

“I told you it wasn’t going to fit.”

“It is going to fit, light of my life. I’ve just got to….please let me keep trying ……..don’t give up on me now…………come on ….come on …………..oh bollocks”
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No Left Turn

August 24, 2009 -

John Heald

So here I am sitting on the third row of the economy section of American Airlines flight 57 to London Heathrow…………and I am bored………..and so ………I thought I would get the raspberry out and do a little blog………….oh hold on………Mrs. Whiplash the flight attendant has told me that unless I put my pants on I will be arrested upon arrival. I tried to tell her that I can only blog in my underpants but she doesn’t seem to understand.

Next to me is a young man in his twenties who has had his eye pod thingy on since take off and has said bugger all. He is a spotty Brit and has the conversational abilities of a washing machine ………not that his clothes have seen one of those for a while. He smells musty and unclean and I could grow potatoes on his neck considering all that dirt that is lodged behind his ears.
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Freedom Ends

August 22, 2009 -

John Heald

Like Superman, Batman is a superhero but he is different from the others. He doesn’t have any superpowers built in but instead uses gadgets and a secret cave, a bit like James Bond in Lycra. Most superheroes have something wrong with them. Peter Parker was bitten in the bollocks by a radioactive spider and acquired its thingies to become your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

He moaned at the time but he could have just as easily been bitten by a radioactive dung beetle, thus merely inheriting the power of floating on the surface of a pond or borrowing into a huge pile of elephant poo…….and in a fight with the Green Goblin that is next to useless.
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Mickey…And Me Being A Bit Goofy

August 21, 2009 -

John Heald

Guest: Ms. ________ Ref: 849007682A
Cabin: _____ Booking#: ________ Added-Changed: 08/20/09 – 08/20/09

REPORT MADE BY CABIN STEWARD
Cabin Steward reported to Housekeeping Manager that he had seen guest take three blue beach towels from his service trolley and place them in her suitcase. Security was sent to cabin and the towels removed and guest spoken to.

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Bought the T-Shirt

August 20, 2009 -

John Heald

I want to talk to you about T-shirts and somebody wants to talk to me about them as well.

Guest: Mr. ______ Ref: 840017667A
Cabin: ____ Booking#: ______ Added-Changed: 08/19/09 – 08/19/09


WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK WITH CRUISE DIRECTOR
Gst spoke to GSA asking to meet with the cruise director John. Guest said that he had been embarrassed by another guest on a tour who was wearing a racist T-Shirt. Guest said that he and his family had been very upset by this and wants to speak to John.

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Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.