The Pits

November 30, 2009 -

John Heald

I had already answered today’s questions……..but had left the beginning and end of today’s musings in case I had anything to report from my flight to New York…………and I am glad I did.

This is my sixth flight in the last two months and at this point I would rather lick 357 Magnum hot sauce off Judge Judy’s thigh….. then fly again. The last three flights have been awful but apart from the bad service, rude security staff etc there has been little out of the ordinary to report………….but on this flight there is plenty to write.

And so I am doing so now and I hope you realize the pain and suffering I am going through in order to do it. That’s because I will forever have a permanent impression of a tray table embedded in my stomach.

So where to start……well maybe with the chap who is seated next to me………….he has the window…………I have the aisle…………….and he is ……..as I write………chanting and mumbling to himself………rocking his head backwards and forwards as though he is listening to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. But my travel partner is not a head banger but is indeed a Hasidic person of the Jewish faith. I know very little about their beliefs and I respect them as I do all religions but bloody hell………..he certainly is not respecting anyone else as his chanting is getting louder and louder. He is getting looks from everyone seated around us and there is as I type a very large muscular chap across the aisle who looks like he was going to really get mad and do a chant of his own by saying “forget about it and shut the **** up.”

As I said, I respect every religion but I am surprised he is allowed to do this. I mean I have my headphones on and even over Jeff Wayne’s War of the Worlds album I can still hear his chanting. I am surprised that our flight attendant has not said anything……..I suppose she has to be careful and not get sued for asking him to stop………but honestly……..he’s been going for 30 minutes now nonstop.

Let me change the subject if I can and talk about the toilet I just visited on the plane………..it was minging (look that word up on www.urbandictionary.com). I mean……the flight has been smooth …….there has been no turbulence…….so then………how do my fellow passengers all miss the bowl by such an enormous margin? Are they doing it deliberately or is it a fault with their bomb- aiming equipment? In which case…What on earth must their bathrooms look like at home?

Hold on, the flight attendant is approaching with our breakfast options…………..back in a minute.

Well the good news is that my chanting friend has shut up because he is now eating; however the bad news is my breakfast. I went for the egg sandwich. It was served between two pieces of what, I suppose, you could describe as bread. But only if you were mad. Let me put it this way…… if I threw it at you in a food fight, I feel fairly sure that it would take your head clean off.

I understand that, unlike my intended destination, Carnival Dream, a flight is not the place you go because you are hungry or because you want to treat your family to a tasty meal. No. You go there to get from A to B. But as lunches go, it was right up there with an experience I had at a restaurant in Hong Kong. The menu said, “Rather burnt rice land slug” and I ordered it because it sounded intriguing, but sadly it wasn’t. It turned out to be as described – a rather burnt slug.

Well, breakfast is over now for both me and Mr. Chanter and that means he has opened his Bible (I think it’s a bible and pardon my ignorance if in the Jewish faith it’s called something else) and he is once again raising his voice to the heavens.

Well, he is not anymore because remember that muscular man I mentioned earlier…… well ……….. he has just leant across the aisle and told him in his New York accent to “shut the f**k up” because he was trying to sleep……..oh hold on………..here comes the flight attendant who by the way is also very muscular and built like a brick outhouse…….let’s see what she says.

Well, it’s all over and I now have a non chanting man next to me. He is still head banging away but doing so……….. Acapella. The flight attendant actually handled that situation very well by telling Mr. New York to calm down and then very firmly telling Mr. Chanter to please refrain from ………well………..chanting. I have to say that he did so without saying a word……….he just looked at her and at Mr. New York and then stopped. It could have been much worse and I would have been right in the middle of it.

And so, as all is peaceful for now I think I will turn off my lap top dancer computer and somehow close the tray table that is wedged into my stomach and close my eyes………see you in New York.

Here are today’s questions…………away we go.

Dale S Asked:
John please reply

Can you get this message to Chris Jefferson, CD for Carnival Valor.

My mom, Kathleen Deroin, from Canada is so darn excited. I booked her on Valor for the western Caribbean to take her 1st cruise on the 14th of Nov 2009.

Her Birthday is on the 19th and I was wondering if you could, well you know, sing a song or something for her. She also wants to take the “gally tour” and I instructed here to go to the shore excursion desk once on board.

You know I hope she does not get lost on there as there are lots of things for her to remember with respect to the shore excursions I set up for her etc etc. I also know she is a little worried as well about the whole thing.

Please take care of her ok Chris.

John Says:
Hello Dale

I wanted to take the time to apologize that I am answering this now and did not do so before your Mother sailed on the Carnival Valor. I am about three weeks behind in answering questions and I can only hope that your message was received and that Mum had a great time. Once again, my apologies.
Best wishes
John

Dobiemom Asked:
(Please reply)

Your funniest blog yet! I’m going to print it out so my hubby can read it–he’s going to laugh his a– off!

I agree with JavaJoe about the Early Saver program. I love it but why does it have to be so hard to get a lower fare when advertised? I’m sure those with beards can come up with something in the computer that would automatically give us Early Savers the lower price and notify us when it does happen. That would eliminate Carnival receiving and processing so many forms, sometimes sent 2 or 3 times or more. Just a thought.

Blessings to you and Heidi–and especially the beautiful Kye!

John Says:
Hello Dobiemom

I am glad to read that you are enjoying the blogs and I hope your husband does as well. The early saver program obviously needs addressing and I think it’s about time I did so. I have asked one of our vice presidents to explain exactly what can and can’t be done with this popular program as I think it has caused some confusion and I will in a blog next week try and clear the confusion up a bit. Please give me a few days to get this done. Meanwhile thanks so much for the very kind words and my best wishes to you and your family.
John

Stephanie Asked:
Pls Reply

Hey John… we are taking our kids on their very first Carnival cruise (their 3rd overall) and they get to start in a big way… the Dream! We are on the 12/12/09 sailing. Can you have a card put into their room welcoming them onboard their first Carnival cruise? They will get such a kick out of it! Thanks! We will be in cabin 10234! I will give you their names in an email if you wouldn’t mind as I don’t want that out there in the internet world…
THANKS! Stephanie

John Says:
Hello Stephanie

Of course we can. I will ask James the Assistant CD to leave them a little note and a surprise. I know that you will all have a brilliant time on your Carnival Dream.
Best wishes to all
John

Nancy M. Asked:
Hi John, Pls Reply.

I am so excited that we have only 21 days left until we sail away on the beautiful Dream and from all the pictures you have shared she is certainly a dream. Thank you so much for sharing your blog with everyone. Also, this is a reminder you ask me to send about a table request I had sent to you.

We are a party of four and had sailed on the Glory twice. We had a booth on upper level (565) and would like to request a similar booth and we are confirmed for early dining. Would love to meet you and thank you for your help. I read your blog everyday and enjoy your stories. Also loved the pictures of you in the blond wig. Say hi to Heidi and Kye and I am sure you can hardly wait to be with them again. I will be sure to report on the blog how wonderful the Dream is after our cruise.

John Says:
Hello Nancy M

Thanks for the kind words and I am happy to know that my blog thingy has heightened your excitement about sailing on your Carnival Dream. I will send your request off to Ken and hopefully he will be able to accommodate you accordingly. I will be bringing photos of Heidi and Kye with me to share with everyone.
See you soon
Best wishes to all
John

Ed Asked:
John (Please Respond)

Too funny with the story about our instrument of manhood in the morning after wake-up. I recently had an issue with my 7-yr old son at school. Apparently, when he needed to use the facility, he frequently referred to his ‘thingy’ by his toddler-speak name of “Pee-Pee”, and some of the older boys laughed harshly. I then got a call from his teacher, 2nd grade mind you, about his language. Instead of ‘Pee-Pee’ he was using the new name I taught him, which was “Big Johnson”, and this raised the teacher’s ire. What other names would you suggest I teach him to use? The older boys now no longer tease him.

Many Thanks,
Ed in LA

John Says:
Hello Ed in LA

That’s too funny and now I am happy that I had a girl as when I have to help potty train Kye I just have to plonk her bottom on the toilet. What to call it………..mmmm……….let’s see ……….. how about “Oasis of the Pees”…………or his “Fun Ship Freddy”…………….or as your name is Ed he could call it his “little Ed”………………and I can’t believe I am having this conversation! Let me know how it goes.
Thanks for the laughs
Best wishes
John

Eva Bartolo Asked:
Please respond

Hello John. Well I’m back from my volunteer stint in Africa and all I can say is that it was the most rewarding experience in my life. The organization I went to was called Give a Heart to Africa and unlike other organizations which help children, this one targets adults who require education just as much. It was great teaching individuals who really wanted to learn and better their lot in life.

Now that I’m back I’ve started thinking cruises again… I’m surprising Harold with a family cruise for his 70th. His children are coming from England, his sister from Malta and he is totally unaware of all this. He thinks the two of us are taking a Western Caribbean cruise on the Valor January 17th. We are going to be six in total and he is going to be so surprised by having all the children (adults) there. Could you let me know who the cruise director is going to be for that voyage? Also do you have any suggestions for tours in Cozumel, Belize and Isla Roatan? I’m afraid except for Danielle, who I am sure will take anything that involves scuba diving, the rest of us will need to have something more sedate and maybe cultural. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your help in all this. Hopefully we’ll take the Dream as our next ship, it sounds fabulous. Take care and best wishes to you, Heidi and baby Kye.
Eva

John Says:
Hello Eva

Welcome home and let’s start by saying huge congratulations on the wonderful work you have just completed. I can only imagine how fulfilling this must have been and I would guess traumatic at times as well……………you should be so very proud.

So, welcome home and I know that Harold will be thrilled when he learns of his surprise cruise and how thrilling that his family are flying across from the UK. The Cruise Director schedule is mostly finished and next week I hope Chris will send it to me and I can then post it here on the blog thingy. It looks though that your Cruise Director will be BIG Tex and that’s great news for you and the family as he is one of our very best.

I am going to attach now my favorite of the “more sedate” tours in all three ports. Have a read of these and let me know if you have any other questions about them.

PIRATES, BIRDS AND MONKEYS OF GUMBALINDA PARK – ISLA ROATAN
On this excursion you will:
• Drive along the north road of the island to the park.
• Discover many things that will spark your curiosity and appreciation for the outdoors.
• Listen to the tranquil sounds of the waterfall as you stroll through the nature trails with your guide.
• Cross the rope bridge over the pond. Watch the colors of the Caribbean come alive as you interact with the parrots and macaws in the bird sanctuary.
• Hold and play with spider monkeys, white face monkeys, and a howler monkey in the Monkey Refuge.
• Explore the history of the pirates at Coxen’s Cave. Roam through the botanical gardens where you will discover the indigenous plants of this region.
• Plunge into the pristine waters of the Caribbean or relax under the canopy of the trees.
• Head back to the pier along the coastal road.

ALTUN HA MAYAN SITE & RIVER WALLACE – BELIZE
• Hold on to your hat as you enjoy an exhilarating boat ride along the city’s scenic coast before entering the Belize River, called Rio Wallace by the Spaniards during the Conquistador rule of the New World.
• Keep your eyes open and your camera ready as crocodiles, iguanas, howler monkeys, and even feeding manatees or dolphins are just some of the wildlife that may make an appearance during your journey.
• After approximately 1½ hours on the river, you will have a 30 to 45-minute stop at a riverside dock where you can use the restroom, browse the gift shop or purchase a local lunch before boarding a coach for the second part of your adventure.
• Altun Ha is the Mayan ceremonial center where the famous jade head of the Sun God Kinich Ahau was found during an expedition led by Professor David Pendergast of the Royal Ontario Museum.
• The site, which is set in pristine rainforest, has three plazas and thirteen structures within its epicenter and was a vital trade center during the Classic Period (250-900 AD). Stone steps allow you to climb the main temples (weather permitting).

ATLANTIS SUBMARINE – COZUMEL
Travel up to 100 feet below the ocean’s surface in this 48-passenger submarine to explore the wonders of “Chankanaab.”
On this tour you will:
• Take a short taxi ride from the pier to the Atlantis Submarine base.
• Board a U.S. Coast Guard certified submarine.
• Tour the ocean in dry, air conditioned comfort.
• Visit Chankanaab’s underwater marine park.
• View coral reefs and the countless species of tropical fish that call these reefs home.
• Explore this unique attraction without ever getting wet.

I added the submarine tour as it may be something that you have all never done and that with Danielle liking the water you could all do as a family. So, once again……….welcome home and if there is anything else I can do for you please let me know.
Best wishes to all
John

CarolD Asked:
Please Reply

Hi John, Just back from our Carnival Valor cruise (10/25-11/1). I wanted to thank you for your help in getting our table for nine. We had wonderful cruise. Our state room attendant Dean was so nice and very efficient. Our waiters Michael and Alvin were awesome. I loved the singing and dancing in the dining room. It was great fun. It always amazes me that every Carnival employee always has a smile and a pleasant greeting whenever you see them. You know they can’t all be having a good day everyday! I want to mention the cigar bar. A few in our group smoke so we often would go there for a drink before and after dinner. It is such a nice lounge but there is never anybody in there. It might be time to change it to something else as it is quite a large lounge. This cruise was so good we booked our next while on board for March on the Victory. I know many complain about the disembarkation process but I have to say this was the easiest I have ever experienced on any ship. We did the self assist and were at the airport by 8:45. John I know you will find this hard to believe but even the custom official was friendly and asked us how did we like our cruise! Thank you John for the great blog and all that you do.
Carol

John Says:
Hello Carol

What a great review and its one I will be passing onto the ship. We as a company pride ourselves on having the friendliest crew at sea and congratulations to Dean, Michael and Alvin for proving once again that we do.

I was interested in your comment about the cigar bar. Was there a Latin band playing in there. When they do the place is usually very busy………..did you hear live music there, please let me know if you have time.

I will be passing your comments on to Dave the Hotel Director who will make sure the crew you mentioned get to read your comments and thanks again for taking the time to send them to me.
Best wishes
John

Kathy M. Asked:
Hi John, Please Reply.

I have been having a discussion with someone about the lifeboats on the modern ships. I am trying to convince her to go on a cruise with me, but she says that if something happens (God forbid) that even getting into life boats does not really protect you. She claims that even if everyone got into the life boats they still have a high chance of sinking because they are not waterproof if you have to abandon ship in rough waters So my question to you is, are the lifeboats waterproof once they are closed up? Could you please give me any information that I can pass on to her.

Please send my love to Heidi and Little Kye,
From your #1 Bloggy Thingy Fan
Kathy M.n

John Says:
Hello Kathy M

Please tell your friend there is nothing to worry about. There is more chance of finding that I have been voted The World’s Sexiest man by People magazine than one of today’s modern cruise ship’s going down. If however there was a need to get into the lifeboats and life rafts they are very safe indeed. They are built with special buoyancy which makes them unsinkable even when flooded. Your friend has nothing to worry about I promise. I hope you can persuade her to come and sail. Thanks as always for supporting the blog and for your kind words.
Best wishes
John

JUDY SHARUM Asked:
JOHN PLEASE REPLY!!!!!

Could you ask Radu what kind of camera he uses and if it’s Digital or has film???
NICE Pictures!!!! He’s good!!!

John Says:
Hello Judy

I will indeed ask Radu. His photos are amazing and I will be seeing him on Tuesday when I board your Carnival Dream. I will post his answer as soon as I get it…….oh and look at that, he replied immediately.

Hello Judy
I am taking photos with a Nikon D3 SLR full frame 12.1 MP and a Nikon D2X. These days I shoot all digital photos.
Thank you for your nice words for me.
Radu

Well, there you go words from the master and I hope to be featuring more of his photos in the days ahead.
Best wishes
John

Gilbert Salguero Asked:
John, Please Reply

I have seen the cruise critic comments that state Carnival is now charging for Ice Tea on lido and in the dining rooms. I have sailed on NCL recently and they do not charge for their Ice Tea so please explain why Carnival is doing so. I am sure many of your readers are angry at this. My wife loves your blog by the way and this is my first attempt and sending a comment so please respond.
Thank you
Gilbert

John Says:
Hello Gilbert

Let me start my saying this………hold on……..let me find the CAPS button ………….. ok.

WE………ARE…………..NOT…………CHARGING……………FOR………….ICE …………TEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT’S FREE………….GRATIS…………COMPLIMENTARY……….NO CHARGE…………..ON THE HOUSE…………NO DINERO………..NO PAYEE NOTHING…………..IT COSTS BUGGER ALL.

OK, sorry about that and I was not shouting at you but at the idiot who keeps posting this bollocks on Cruise Critic. Maybe it’s a frustrated Royal Champion or someone who is severely constipated and has a gripe against Carnival.

I have replied to this question numerous times now and again I am sorry for taking it out on you………it isn’t your fault.

I am glad your wife enjoys the blog and I hope you both continue to do so.
Best wishes
John

That’s all for today. Please may I kindly remind you that if you need anything for a future cruise to please let me know 3 weeks before you sail as I am slipping behind again. Many thanks.

Just to follow up on the 179 comments that you all posted about what music you wanted on the Lido Deck I can tell you that the power of the blog thingy has prevailed as the Calypso Duo’s and Bands will remain, rotated with some of the musical acts onboard. Thanks to all those who made their views known.

By the way, for those of you who like to keep tabs on our blog thingy readership…………..here are the figures.

Total views for November: 188,544
Total views: 5,434,622

Now, over in Freeport Grand Bahama the beautiful Holland America ship Rotterdam is being reborn. On Friday she received her new aft section. It is sensational how the yard lifts this huge piece of steel up and slots it home……. it was the heaviest lift that the Grand Bahama Yard has ever undertaken and as you will see it was successfully performed today in good weather.

My thanks to Holland America’s brilliant President Stein Kruse for sharing those exclusive photos. Remember that Holland America has comprehensive blogs throughout their fleet and they can all be found on www.hollandamericablog.com.

One last look at the Holiday…………as she sails through the Straits of Gibraltar, heading to Genoa, Italy to start her refit.

Let’s see what Jaime has been up to on the Carnival Pride.

November 26th, 2009

Dear John,

One week down, one more to go. My first week as being cruise director went significantly better than the last time! Approximately one year ago, I was an acting assistant Cruise Director acting as Cruise Director after being on board the Carnival Pride for only five days. This time, I had advance notice, time to prepare and time to drive myself temporarily insane by studying videos of Cruise Directors that have been successful… mostly Kirk Benning, Jorge Solano, and some other fat English guy…

The guests on board the Carnival Pride last week were absolutely lovely. This time, I had extreme fortune of having a ship I love, a team I trust and beautiful weather to go along with it…. which can never hurt the overall guest satisfaction. With the exception of the Welcome Aboard Show and the Debarkation Talk, I had been occasionally performing all of the other Cruise Director shows, in preparation for these weeks.

Unlike all of the other Assistant Cruise Directors, my boss decided to take a work break after the CD conference, so in consequence I would have two weeks to refine my Cruise Director-ing abilities. Since I was more nervous than a hooker in church about the shows I had not done on a regular basis, I wrote reminder post-its to Smile, Breathe, Be Myself and Breathe. Plus, vowed to be out and about with the guests in public areas as much as possible…. just like I learned from John. One of the reasons I would love to be a Cruise Director is because it is such a tremendous opportunity to get to know guests on a personal level and make people feel special and let them know that they are valued and appreciated on board. Being in public areas is a great opportunity to exceed guest’s expectations.

This week, I had quite a few chances to go above and beyond to make people feel truly special. I had a gentleman on board that wanted to propose to his girlfriend. To help him, we had a soloist in the steakhouse playing for the evening of the proposal, he asked his girlfriend to dance when their song finally came up. Sean and Danielle danced to their song, and when they returned to the table, chocolate covered strawberries and French champagne were waiting for them. Danielle bit into one of the strawberries, and there was the beautiful engagement ring. She may have chipped her tooth on the diamond… but she still said yes!!!! I also had the pleasure of meeting a beautiful young sever year old girl named Kenedy who had a terminal illness. The crew members from Camp Carnival, Entertainment, Guest Services, Shore Excursions, Spa Carnival and even the Bridge teamed up in order to provide Kenedy with the most incredible vacation possible. Her entire family was so kind and so grateful.

This past week was special for another reason. It was the first time the Carnival Dream had ever seen another Carnival ship. We sailed alongside the beautiful vessel for nearly a day on our way to Port Canaveral. Even thought the Pride holds about 1,500 less guests, I still think we won in the “shouting to see who is having more fun” competitions. I was able to go on board the Carnival Dream and see part of one of the shows. The rumors are true. The shows, the ship, the lido deck even the bathrooms are absolutely amazing. The ship is so new and so beautiful. I strongly encourage you to see it for yourself.

All in all the week was a tremendous success. Throughout the week, I had received very positive feedback from several guests regarding their enjoyment of the cruise. Plus, the ship ratings and comment card feedback was awesome. It is such a special feeling to know that I had a big impact in the guests overall satisfaction of their vacation. A few weeks back, it was interesting to me to read your response to John’s question about “what you all think makes a good Cruise Director?” An overwhelming number of people said they would like to see someone who cares about the guests and is funny. Well, I am not that funny. I can memorize a handful of one liners and such that I learned from other CD’s but for some reason, saying “I used to be an aerobics instructor” isn’t as funny coming from a young American woman as it is coming from an overweight English guy. I can genuinely say that if I did have this job for a long time I would love to contribute to making everyone’s vacation fun, memorable and truly special.

Looking forward to sailing with you soon! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!
All the best,
Jaime Deitsch
(Temporary) Cruise Director
Carnival Pride

Great job Jaime and I know that one day soon you will have your own ship as CD and you can continue to use all my jokes………..everyone else does. Seriously, congratulations on the great job and I know that you have huge compassion and caring for the guests you meet and that’s why you will be a successful Cruise Director. You don’t have to be funny ………..Kirk has proved that.

We look forward to the next Dear John letter and we will miss you on the Bloggers Cruise.

One of the things that has always amazed me is how our dancers perform on the Spirit, Destiny, Conquest, Splendor and Dream class ships in front of the deep orchestra pits. I mean they dance, they leap, they twist and they turn and amazingly………….and touch wood everyone please ……….. we have never had a performer fall into the pit and onto an unsuspecting member of the orchestra.

Seriously though it is a danger and not just to the performers but to the guests as well. And while we have never had a dancer fall that is not the case when it comes to guests. I myself have seen this on the Carnival Legend during her inaugural season in 2002. If you have been on the Spirit class ships you will know that there are stairs that come down from the balconies and onto the stage. Well, back in 2002 we had a guest who as the lights went down to start the dancers show walked down the stairs and across the stage and fell into the pit. He had ignored the announcements we had made about this and even though the curtain was coming up he decided to walk across the stage.

Luckily his injuries were in the end……… not life threatening although he had to be disembarked for medical attention ashore. I will explain why I am talking about this in a moment but I do remember one other thing about this incident. Seeing what had happened I immediately called the bridge and had them announce our “bright star” over the PA system which automatically alerts the medical team, stretcher bearers, etc.

Meanwhile I ran down to the pit to be with the gentlemen who as you can imagine was in much distress. The doctor and nurses arrived within just a few minutes and as they started to tend to the guest I looked up and saw at least two dozen guests looking down into the pit………..gasping at the scene. I then instructed the assistant cruise director…………one Wee Jimmy to make an announcement for all the guests to leave the lounge and we would make another announcement when the show would be ready to start.

Well, it took about 30 minutes to move the guest down to the infirmary and some more time to reset the show, etc……….but about 40 minutes after the incident I made an announcement for guests to return to the lounge. And this is where clear and present memories return……..because we had a fight………. a full on pushing a shoving match between two groups of guests because one family were sitting in the seats that they had been ………before I had emptied the lounge …….. unbloodybeliveable.

Anyway, incidents like this are few and far between and now of course we have stanchions and barriers across the pit and the stairs that lead to the stage. Plus, this week we are going one step further on all the ships that do indeed have an orchestra pit. That’s because when you walk into the show room you will see that the band pit is in full up position and you may think “I won’t be able to see anything.”

What we are now doing is introducing the orchestra three minutes before the show…….they will enter from the back of the show room……..hopefully to your applause………….take their seats …………..and the pit will then be lowered. The CD will then remind guests not to walk on the stage and only then will the barriers and stations be removed. Hopefully this means that we will never again have an incident like the one on the Carnival Legend.

So yesterday I sailed with the Carnival Glory and her crew to Miami. Now, you might think that with no guests onboard that the crew slept all day and did bugger all. Well, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Having no guests onboard allows the crew to do some deep cleaning of carpets, public rooms and of course the cabins. However, there was a crew disco at night but being 44 I was in bed with a warm Latvian……….sorry………..warm mug of milk by 10 pm.

Well, here I am again seconded in my New York hotel about to send it to the 343 Stephanie’s and the one Vance. Just before I do I want to tell you one more thing about my travels today ……….. and it’s about the couple who stood in front of me at the reception desk waiting to check in ……… they were in their thirties I would guess and bloody hell………….did they need to get a room. Now, I am married and in fact even though I will have been married to Heidi for six years on Dec. 6, I still consider myself romantic. I mean, we still hold hands when we walk together ……. oh actually that’s bollocks………we don’t do that anymore do we because one of us is pushing Kye in her Aston Stroller.

Anyway…….holding hands is one thing I but still wanted to vomit up my airline egg sandwich when I heard this couple conversing in baby voices in the hotel lobby. Then I had to watch them snogging (www.urbandictionary.com) in between sentences, putting their hands in each other’s trouser back pockets as they waited for the receptionist to check them into their room where I doubt they would be discussing what New York sights to see……as the only thing they will be seeing will be the bedroom ceiling.

Having written this I think it comes across as me being bitter……and I guess I am…………..I want to hold hands with Heidi and I want to look at the ceiling of our bedroom……I am tired of being alone…………..I need to see my girls.

Talking of that Heidi will be sending us an update on Kye tomorrow and …….I just heard from PA 007 who tells me there is much excitement and whispering happening on the executive floor at HQ……our super spy has no details yet but something is about to be announced……and announced tomorrow……I wonder what it can be?

See you on your Carnival Dream.

Goodnight
Your friend
John

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.

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