An Award-Winning Blog

December 30, 2009 -

John Heald

I have complained many times before here on the blog thingy about my conversations with people from our marketing department and the fact that when they talk to me I have no bloody clue what they are saying. But its not just those blue sky thinking, tofu eating beardies who speak a language that makes my hemorrhoids flair up………it’s………..well…………..loads of people. It seems to be common place for people to have a conversation with me and in it use weird meaninglessness jargon.
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Skiing…….And Paradise

December 29, 2009 -

John Heald

For the last few months I have been trying to persuade some British friends of mine to try their first ever cruise and come and sail with me next year. Bobby and his wife are very good mates and Bobby is in the entertainment business and quite famous here in the UK. I thought that my powers of persuasion had finally gotten them to ready to explore the fun for all world of Carnival …………..but yesterday Bobby informed me that they are considering something else…………………..skiing.
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In Ecstasy

December 28, 2009 -

John Heald

Hello everyone…………..I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Apart from having a rotten cold I had a wonderful time with the family but at this point I have to be honest and say …………..thank goodness it’s all over for another year.

I do like Christmas, it’s just that the lead-up to it is so stressful. Take the Christmas food shopping for instance.
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PA And P&O

December 24, 2009 -

John Heald

It’s Christmas Eve. It’s colder than a French welcome outside. Heidi is wrapping a last few Christmas gifts. Kye is watching the Christmas tree lights flicker and I have absolutely bugger all to do.

So, I thought I would sit down and send you a quick good morning note and hope that you are all well……………..and bring you a fascinating interview with one of the most influential women in the cruise industry. Before that……………lets pop over to Australia.
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We Wish You A Merry Christmas

December 22, 2009 -

John Heald

Reports from the Miami office and Chris Prideaux, our Director of Entertainment, were that last week, one of our fly on comedians made a joke about Tiger Woods……..and upset a Tiger fan so much that he waited until after the show and threatened him with violence. In the end our intrepid comedian had to call security.
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A Ratings Hit!

December 21, 2009 -

John Heald

So the world can continue cruising with Carnival, watching CSI Anatomy and eating buckets of Kentucky Fried Tacos, safe in the knowledge that the people with beards and their various Presidents and Prime Ministers have managed to agree on some thingies and sign some papers over there in Copenhagen.
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Let It Snow

December 18, 2009 -

John Heald

As people with beards eat mountains of Tofu and discuss Climate Change in Copenhagen this week………the UK woke up this morning to the heaviest snow fall in many years…….I was tempted to say Global Warming My Arse here ……but I won’t. And while the heads of state wait for President Obama to arrive today to persuade everyone to hold hands and sing “Gum Bye Ya”……..I was shoveling snow off my drive way so I could get the Range Rover Polar Bear killing machine to the shops to get essential supplies like milk, bread and nipple pads.
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A Developing Blog

December 17, 2009 -

John Heald

There are certain things I do not know the answer to. And while I answer many questions here on the blog thingy there are many things in life about which I know………..bugger all.

For instance. Did the chicken come first, or the egg? What the hell were they thinking when they designed the upper portion of the Norwegian Epic……….was the architect Stevie Wonder? Is there any blonde woman in the world who hasn’t had rumpy pumpy with Tiger Woods?
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Party Time With Some Bouncy Bouncy

December 16, 2009 -

John Heald

Yesterday I went to London to meet with the most prestigious travel writer in the British Press ………….Mr. Frank Barrett who is the Travel Editor of the Sunday Mail Newspaper …………….. think USA Today’s Gene Sloan but with a Prince Charles type of accent.
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Home

December 15, 2009 -

John Heald

So, as you know I am back here in the UK which means of course I had to fly which means of course I have a story to tell. It’s not about the passenger in 2B who sat next to me because there is nothing to tell….except……..he was the perfect passenger to sit next to. He didn’t say one word, slept for most of the flight and……..had no sense of smell which was a good thing considering the large BLT and egg sandwich I had enjoyed for lunch……….seriously………my arse sounded like a stuttering machine gun.
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Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.