One Of Those Weeks

January 28, 2010 -

John Heald

I guess because I have been traveling, flying and getting back into the swing of being a Cruise Director I haven’t had time to sit back and realize…….that I am now 45 years of age ……………. bloody hell………….I am 45 years old………and that frightens me nearly as much as you would all be frightened if you saw me as am now………sitting here in my cabin …………. in my underpants.
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Keep It Down Tiger

January 27, 2010 -

John Heald

Morning everyone. I can’t sleep……so here I sit at 5:45am in my cabin…………..in my underpants. And while I sit and write in cabin 8325, CNN tells me that Tiger Woods is at a special clinic to try and be cured from wanting to have Rumpy Pumpy with anything that has a pulse.

Now doubtless there is no shortage of private clinics willing to take in a multimillionaire golfing legend with deep pockets and a seemingly incurable condition. But do you think he has ever considered the possibility – and I’m just running an idea up the flagpole here – that he is not an addict, but simply a rich, horny bugger?
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Are You Talking To Me?

January 26, 2010 -

John Heald

Meet Annie one of the new Entertainment Staff here on your Carnival Dream.
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M.I.C…..K.E.Y……O.U.S.O.B

January 25, 2010 -

John Heald

Flying on my birthday was about as much fun as rectal surgery but despite the fact that I was seated next to a man whose feet smelt like a piece of cheese that had been fermenting in Dwyane Wade’s jockstrap………….. Here I am on your Carnival Dream.
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Happy Birthday John

January 22, 2010 -

Steph H

Hello Bloggers.

Stephanie H. here. Join me in wishing John a very Happy Birthday today. May there be many more years to come.

From all of us who love your blog.
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Airport 2010

January 22, 2010 -

John Heald

So here I am, sitting on a British Airways plane heading back to work which my regular readers will know ………..means it is time for another flying story written on my raspberry However, this one isn’t so much about the experience in the air…………..but rather……….on the ground. I think I may have said this once or twice before………..but just in case I forgot………let me tell you that I hate flying.
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Here To Help

January 18, 2010 -

John Heald

The cruise industry has a long association with Haiti both as a port of call and with the Haitian employees who work on the ships.

It is therefore with great pride that I share the news that Carnival Corporation has chosen to help………….here’s how.
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There Is Magic In The Air

January 18, 2010 -

John Heald

This past Saturday, January 16, two people sailed on their Carnival Dream……………to celebrate their Honeymoon…….here is how Louise Chatell met the man of her dreams…….Jim Bettencourt ……..told in her own words……..oh………you might want to have a box of tissues ready.
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Going Through Changes

January 15, 2010 -

John Heald

So my bad week keeps getting worse as Heidi had the audacity to catch my cold and last night went to sleep in the spare bedroom……by 7pm. This meant I had to put Kye to bed….. and change her diaper which I might add was full of stuff that I would have been proud to have created. Having disposed of that, I then had to put the new diaper on. I asked Heidi to help but she said she was too weak…….and that was me ………..in the same stuff I had just found in Kye’s diaper.
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The Eagle Has Landed

January 14, 2010 -

John Heald

Sir Michael Caine has always been one of my favourite actors. I think it is because he seems to be exactly the same off camera as he is on. Just an east end of London lad made good. I love his movies apart from Jaws 38 which even Mr. Caine admits was a load of bollocks……….but it paid well. His films such as The Italian Job, Escape to Victory, Get Carter, The Man Who Would Be King, Alfie, The Eagle Has Landed, The Cider House Rules and The Battle of Britain are all in my humble opinion………..simply brilliant.
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Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.