Are You Talking To Me?

January 26, 2010 -

John Heald

Meet Annie one of the new Entertainment Staff here on your Carnival Dream.

Except Annie is not her name………’s a nickname………..for obvious reasons and it’s one she seems to love and she certainly has been blessed with a sunshiney personality that makes her perfect for the job of Entertainment Staff.

This is a rare thing because it seems to me that very few people have a nickname any more. Kids these days talk to each other using their Christian names…….even if they are tall and skinny and have a wonky eye.

It was a different story when I was at school. We had a teacher who stuttered who we called “Stuttering Sam”………..we had a teacher called The Mole because she had……..ummmm…………a mole on her face from which grew 7 long hairs……… the drama and music teacher was called Gaylord……….even though he was neither gay or a Lord……….there was a girl we called Easy Elsie……….because she her name was Elsie and she was……….ummmm……………..very friendly……… best friend was Ugly Alan and I was affectionately known as “the tooth” because of my bent front molar.

There was one girl we called Crater Face. This is because she was ravishingly beautiful in every single respect … but her face, which was full of potholes, caused by her zits which she spent all day picking and squeezing. Then there was a boy who had not been blessed in the trouser department……..and who became known in the changing rooms as “Inch High Private Eye.”

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this simply wouldn’t be allowed any more. Calling a boy “Inch High” or a girl “Crater Face” would be an infringement of their human rights and the school would be closed down and the high school principle fired and be forced to attend therapy.

However, as you will have seen the nickname thingy is alive and well here on the fun for all ships of Carnival. On the Carnival Splendor we had two musicians called Steve……..and so they were named as Canadian Steve and German Steve – which was a bit annoying for the poor sod because he was Portuguese American. But his last name was Schmidt and therefore he sounded German to us and so he was called German Steve by the entire department. Then there is Butch …………. the Cruise Director and future hall of famer in the industry…………….whose real name is not Butch……yep…………that’s a nickname and one he gained on the ships and a name that even his beloved parents now call him.

The best nicknames are born in a moment of excruciating embarrassment. That’s why one shipboard person I sometimes work with is called Adam …………after the apple he found on the neck of the………ummmmmm……..girl he tried to have rumpy pumpy with one night in Bangkok.

I realize, of course, that nicknames are exclusively a male thing. This is because boys rejoice in the downfall of others. We like to watch our friends fall over and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. We love it when they come out of the toilet having not shaken their thingy properly.

The boy on boy bond is glued together with teasing, and nicknames are part of that. As a general rule, girls console one another when they fall over. They ring one another for uplifting chats. The girl-girl bond is glued together with something fluffy and pink and nice. That’s why a dancer who accidentally farted while doing a lift on stage during the Ticket to Ride Show is not known by her mates for the rest of time as………….. Windy Wendy.

We have nicknames for some of the Captains as well. There is “Napoleon”…..”Moaning Minnie” ………..”Captain Caveman”…………..”You Zee”………..and my personal favorite “The Package” ………because unlike my old mate at school “Inch High” …………….Captain Package is one very lucky man. And no ladies…………..I am not going to tell you who he is.

Time for today’s questions………… we go.

Dave Asked:
“John Please reply,”

John, Happy New Year! I really enjoy the blog and it always puts a smile on my face! Hope yourself, Heidi and Kye had an amazing Holiday season.

I am writing to ask for your assistance.

My wife Lisa and I will be sailing on our 9th Carnival cruise together (Carnival Valor on 2/14/10) and will also be bringing our 2 children. We will also be celebrating our 13th Wedding anniversary. Lisa is a very special person and does “so much” for myself and our 2 girls. She always puts me and the girls before herself. I would like to do something special for her on this cruise and want to solicit your help!

I was thinking of a night at the Supper Club with Lisa would be a great start. Also, didn’t know if you had any other ideas that would be a romantic way to show my Love for my wife. Thanks for anything you can do – We are staying in cabin 9265

Thanks John and look forward to cruising with you 1 day…

John Says:
Hello Dave

I am sure your wife would be so thankful for those lovely words you wrote about her and that is something that I suggest you actually do. Book the Steakhouse and then during dinner present her with a card. Now, I don’t mean a card that just says Happy Valentines etc but one that contains your thanks, appreciation and love for your special lady. Then, after dinner take her for a walk around the open decks under the stars. I am sure this will make for a very special night. I will also send her a little gift as well. Don’t forget that you can pre-order flowers through our Bon Voyage department at

Have a romantic and fun cruise.
Best wishes

Don Asked:
Dear John,

Being a seasoned cruiser and reading your blog I fully understand that customer service is not your job but I am beside myself with a situation we are facing on our upcoming February 20th Cruise on the Dream and don’t know what else to try. We are especially excited to hear that you will be on board that week. You were the cruise director on our very first family cruise on the Ecstasy that hooked us and, our then, school age children who are now booking carnival cruises on their own. We had originally booked a back-to-back but, due to an unforeseen circumstance, we started to look at our options and saw that the Freedom is on its Saturday departure schedule so decided to disembark the Dream Saturday morning and drive down to Ft. Lauderdale and board the Freedom. We missed this itinerary several years ago when my wife fell at home just weeks before and ended up with 11 surgeries and months in a nursing home at the age of 50. We organized a group of family and friends of about 30 people, many first timers, who we had to send off on their own so we are really excited to make up this journey.

Anyway, I would first of all like you to know that we have a long history and are good customers. Although we have tried Celebrity, Princess and Norwegian, we have always returned to Carnival because of the service and amenities. Along with the two cruises this February, we have logged 15 cruises (realizing there are people with many many more). Our Family’s history includes many celebrations and holidays where we would have up to 8 balconies side-by-side with open dividers so we could be together. Our son proposed on the Fascination stage during one of the shows. When he went off to med school we celebrated by booking suites on the Pride with all the family (grandmothers, aunts, cousins etc.). It was a very expensive venture for us factory workers (we retired from the Jeep Plant) because we needed extra cabins for our kids. When our daughter was married in October she delayed her honeymoon that year until the family cruise on the Conquest out of NOLA the following February so we could all be together. In the past year we have invited three couples to try Carnival for their first time experiences because we knew they would be satisfied. I could continue but am only documenting this to show that we have had many good experiences so can’t understand our current dilemma that would split the family at dinner.

Our son and his family opted this year to use his sea mile rewards from his Carnival Master Card which excluded him from booking with our group and we feel he got penalized for the effort. He has two children (2 years and one year) who would not survive until the late seating that we have always preferred, so we all agreed to request early dining to accommodate them. The seven of us who switched were assigned early and the family that first requested and needed it most ended up on late. I have called everyone we know but keep being told they are wait-listed and the outlook isn’t good. It is especially important that we dine together because one of the main reasons for this trip is it includes the great grandmothers who, both being in their 80’s, may not cruise again. One of them is platinum but the other will be taking her first cruise. We are only a group of 11 in total so I can’t understand why we can’t get assistance. If you can suggest to us a way to contact the ship’s dining staff or pass this on to anyone who can help I would greatly appreciate it. The whole point of this trip was to be together. All four of our reservations are cross referenced but still not together for dinner. I don’t need this posted on the blog or cause any problems but have to give this last resort a try. BTW, we have never been able to travel with you following the first experience and have never heard the bedtime story and have waited for years and years. You started us on our love of cruising and have been the best CD we have ever had.
Don/Toledo, Ohio

John Says:
Hello Don from Toledo Ohio

Thank you for taking the time to write and certainly being an extension of the customer service department is very much an important part of my daily blog thingy. I can understand why you would all like to eat together and I will certainly send your details to the Maitre D on the Carnival Conquest and I know he will do all he can to see if this can be done.

I hope you all have a fantastic time together and please let me know what happens.
Best wishes to you and all the family.

Walter Asked:
Mr. Heald

I was wondering why is the Carnival Dream doing the same eastern route as the Oasis and Epic. If you were to change the route I would suggest that you guys change it to St Thomas, St Maarten, Tortola, and St. Kitts or Grand Turk.

Also, have you guys ever thought about a rooftop bar concept on the fantasy class ships? I would put it where the topless area use to be at. Thanks for replying back and I hope your family have a great 2010.

John Says:
Hello Walter

I love the idea of the roof top bar and that is something that we could definitely consider ………… thanks for the great idea.

I guess you could say why are the Epic and the Oasis doing the same itinerary as your Carnival Dream? I can’t speak for Norwegian or for RCI but I can say that we certainly don’t base where our ships go on what other lines are doing. The Eastern Caribbean cruise that includes St. Thomas and St. Martin has always been one of our most popular itineraries and that’s why we continued what the Carnival Glory was doing when she sailed from Port Canaveral here on your Carnival Dream.

Remember that you can visit St. Kitts, Tortola and Grand Turk on other ships within the Carnival fleet.

We dock with the Oasis in St Martin and it will be interesting for sure to see the monster close up. As for the Norwegian Epic…………..I am not sure if we will be docking with her but just in case we do………we have ordered lots more sick bags.
Best wishes

Mary Asked:
We’re doing the Western Caribbean in Feb. and want do one of the “ruins” excursions. Which one do you suggest? Also, my husband is interesting in some deep sea fishing. Any thoughts on where that would be best? Thanks…..

John Says:
Hello Mary

I take it that you are going to be sailing here on your Carnival Dream. If that’s the case then I certainly recommend the Mayan ruins excursion to Tulum. Their location with the ancient temples almost overhanging the cliff makes them aesthetically unbeatable. I highly recommend this excursion.

As for the deep sea fishing………I have to say I have never done this but I know many who have and it is a tour that they all seem to enjoy. Obviously there is never a guarantee that you are going to catch something and unfortunately you can’t bring Nemo back onboard the ship and cook him for dinner. Full descriptions can be found for all our shore excursions at and of course we have a dedicated staff onboard to help you decide.
Please let me know if you have any other questions.
Hope to see you soon
Best wishes

John & Patty Asked:
Hi John (please reply),

First John & I hope Heidi and you had a wonderful holiday and enjoyed Kye’s first Christmas — a memory that will last forever and one you will wish for when she is 18, 25 or 32!
We are booked on Carnival’s Alaska cruise from Seattle, WA on May 11th on the Spirit. We really want to plan this trip well and make sure we take in as much as possible since it will probably be our only trip to Alaska. So, we have several questions that we hope you can help us with:

1) What port does carnival use in Seattle? We see there are several and we are going to arrive a few days early but want to be centrally located and close to port if possible.

2) While cruising through Alaska in two ports there are excursion for helicopter and dog mushing. Which port do you recommend we do this in?

3) What might be some of your other top excursion recommendations? Dog Mushing is a must, at least once.

4) what is the atmosphere like on the ship during the evening? We are so used to Caribbean cruising, the relax atmosphere in dining room, lounges, etc and we really don’t want to do the suit/dress “thing”. Can we do casual? (Also want to minimize packing).

John, want to again let you know we had a wonderful time on the Dream during the Bloggers cruise. You were a wonderful host, the captain was a fine gentleman and very down to earth and we are glad we finally got to meet Stephanie. We hope she is doing well as Cruise Director on the Splendor.

We look forward to sailing with you again soon. Hopefully in 2011 on Magic in Europe! (anything finalized yet —- Greek Island a possibility?)
Patty & John

John Says:
Hello Patty and John

Thanks for taking the time to write and congratulations on booking your Carnival Spirit Alaskan adventure. Let me see if I can answer your questions starting with the information you require on the cruise terminal we use in Seattle. It is;

Smith Cove Cruise Terminal 91
2001 West Garfield St.
Seattle, WA 98119

Now as for questions 2 and 3 I need a bit of help here. You see I have never cruised to Alaska although one day I really must. Therefore I am not the right chap to give you advice on what are the best tours? But I know that our Director of Shore Excursions Robert ……or Bilious Bobby as he is affectionately known…….will be able to provide me with his top recommendations. So, please allow me a few days and I will make sure I post his top tips here on the blog thingy.

The ship will have one main elegant night with a second one later in the cruise with all the other evenings having a cruise casual dress code as in the Caribbean. I hope this helps and thanks so much for all the kind words and hope you have a brilliant time. Please let me know if you have any further questions.
Best wishes to all

Juan & Maria Santana Asked:
John please reply….

Hello, John!
Hoping you and the whole family had a wonderful Christmas and that the New Year will bring you lots of health, prosperity and happiness…

Just to let you know that we have booked a 2-wk. cruise on the Grand Princess (Feb.12 – 26) and this will be our 1st Princess cruise. We’ll be visiting Aruba, Curacao, Trinidad, Barbados, St. Vincent, St. Kitts, St. Thomas, Santo Domingo (Dom. Rep.) & Grand Turk Island. We have been in all those places with the exception of the Island of St. Vincent. As usual, we are very excited about this cruise. The last long cruise we took was the 17-day Brazilian Adventure on the Splendor, from Jan. 31 – Feb. 17, 2009.

Also, 2 days ago we booked a 1-wk. cruise on one of the “competition” cruise ships….(it is not one “of the Seas”)… We are leaving this coming Sat., Jan. 9 and as you can see, we decided on this cruise practically at the last minute. We have never cruised with them before so we are sort of “wondering” how it will turn out. As soon as we return we’ll give you a report.

We sent you a long report on our Dec. 12-19 Dream cruise from Pt. Canaveral a few days ago but we are not sure if the system went down or what happened when we submitted it to you…. we haven’t seen it show up on the “Comments” and it is too early to show up in your Questions/Answers section of the blog. But anyway, there is one word to rate it: “Magnificent!” If our report doesn’t show up in a few days/wks. (We know you are busy and are behind with your answers), we’ll send it again. For sure we want to sail again on the Dream!

Kisses to Kye and warmest regards to you and Heidi.
The Santanas of Miami Beach

John Says:
Hello Juan and Maria

I did indeed see your great review and I think our postings have crossed over so I hope you did in fact get to see my reply to you. In 2008 Heidi and I sailed on the Emerald Princess which is part of the Grand class of ships and we had an absolutely super time as I know will you when you sail on the Grand Princess. I hope you will be able to take the time to write your review and post it here on the blog thingy.

I also hope that it is not too long before we see you again here on one of our fun for all ships.
Best wishes to you both

Jim Zim Asked:

My wife and I are very excited because we’ll be cruising on the Carnival Splendor on January 31st. This will be our sixth cruise with Carnival, and the biggest ship we’ve ever been on. The thing we’re really excited about is that it will be the first time that we’ve stayed in a suite! Seeing the VIP thing on our Fun Pass was a major thrill.

John, could you do us a small favor to truly make this cruise perfect for us? Could you arrange with the Maître D’ to put us at a table for two rather than at a large table with strangers? We would be so grateful.

Thanks, John. We really appreciate it. I’m sure there are many more Carnival cruises in our future, and I hope that one of them will be on a ship where you are the Cruise Director.

John Says:
Hello Jim Zim

It won’t be long until you are experiencing the suite life onboard the Carnival Splendor. I have written to the Maitre D to ask for his help with the table request. Have a brilliant time and please send me your review if you can.
Best wishes to all

David B. Smale Asked:

Enjoy your blog and hearing the updates on the Carnival Fleet and it activities. Reading the infamous cruise critic there have been some very hard reviews about the Carnival Dream and its rating is now near the bottom of all cruise ships listed on cruise critic in the overall ship category. Realizing there are growing pains what efforts are being made to fix these constant concerns. We cruised the Transatlantic and were overall not that impressed but realize it is a new ship and there were bugs to be worked out.

John Says:
Hello David

I wonder if you had chance to read yesterday’s blog. If not I would ask that you do as while I admitted again that during the start up of the vessel we did indeed face some challenges that they have been met head on and many improvements have been made. I am so sorry that you were disappointed when you sailed on the trans-Atlantic crossing, hopefully you can return here to your Carnival Dream and enjoy your time onboard more this time.

I would say again that for every one negative comment on Cruise Critic there are hundreds of guests who do not post anything and who have had the most fantastic experience here. Yesterday in fact I posted a review from a previously loyal RCI cruiser; in case you missed it…………here it is again.

Just got home from our vacation on the Dream. I’ll try to write a full review later, but just wanted to let everyone know it is FANTASTIC! We were really nervous after reading all the reviews, but to our relief everything was perfect. I should also mention, we have been loyal royals for a few years, this was our first Carnival and I think our best cruise to date! So, don’t let the complainers get to you if you have this ship booked, you will love it!

Please let me know if you have any follow up questions David and again I am sorry that we did not exceed your expectations and truly hope you will give us an opportunity to do so.
best wishes

Gloria Asked:
(Please Reply)

Hello John: Happy New Year. My husband and I will be celebrating our anniversary and our son’s 21st birthday on the Carnival Valor on March 7-14. We were just on the Valor in November celebrating my 50th birthday. Could you please request from the Maitre-D that we have a table for 4 for more intimacy than a more crowded table would provide? I sincerely appreciate your and the many Stephanie’s assistance.

John Says:
Hello Gloria

I have asked the Maitre D of the Carnival Valor to see if he makes this an extra special birthday cruise by helping you with your table request.
Have a brilliant time.
Best wishes to all.

That’s all for today and there will be more tomorrow. My thanks to you all for all the comments.

As you may be aware we have had some technical concerns with the Carnival Destiny and so we have regrettably had to send her to dry dock Here is the official release.

Carnival Destiny to Undergo Dry Dock to Fix Propulsion Problem

I know those of you who have booked one of the canceled cruises will be disappointed so please accept my sincere apologies.

As you know, I will be sailing and reporting from the Queen Victoria on her British Isles cruise in July this year and I know a few of you have booked to join me. I also know that many of you love a good web cam and over on the page there is a live link to the bridge cam on the Queen Victoria which I encourage you to have a look at.

Then, on the same site there is a brilliant video of this majestic vessel navigating through the Panama Canal which is a must see.

And some of you are going to experience this when you sail on the Carnival Elation’s repositioning cruise later this year. And to whet your appetite even more please pop over to James Cusick’s blog. James is of course the Executive Chief Purser on P & O’s Arcadia and on his site today there are some wonderful photos of the Arcadia’s journey through the canal.

The link thingy is

Saying goodbye to people who have given their lives to one company is something that is never easy and that is what we are going to do today………as we say goodbye to a true man of the sea ………… Captain Casula who retired last week. Here to tell us all about it is that man Butch.

Hello bloggers! Today it is with great honor and a bit of a heavy heart that I get to tell you about all of the festivities that occurred this week here on board the Liberty to say farewell to Captain Gianopaolo Casula as he officially says goodbye to Carnival Cruise Lines and takes retirement after 50 years of navigating experience and 34 years with Carnival.

Recently for our new interactive Funville website I was privileged to write about the Captain’s time with Carnival here is the link in case you missed it:

So today I would like to tell you how a ship’s crew said farewell to a man that his devoted his life to this business.

For the past few weeks as Captain Casula has set sail from our ports of call he has been showered by gifts from our port agents, pilots, and government officials. One of the best spectacles was the U.S. Coast Guard fire boats that displayed a water show as the Captain navigated us out of the port of San Juan last cruise.

As the Captain embarked on his final voyage from the port of Miami he was greeted on the bridge by his entire navigational crew who stood and applauded him as he arrived to his post to set sail after our safety briefing.

In honor of the Captain’s Italian roots the 1,200 Liberty team members held a special Italian Masquerade Ball in his honor in the Cigar Bar after hours where a visibly emotional Captain said his final parting thank you to his team. At the Captain’s final introduction to our guests during the first elegant evening tears streamed down his face as he introduced his senior officers and managers for the final time, quite an emotional evening for all of us as one by one the Captain said some extra special remarks about each of his officers as they were presented to our guests …….and more than one, me included, shed a couple of tears as we stood proudly next to a man who we have called Master for so long.

And then we surprised the Captain with a farewell party hosted by the bridge team and all of the Senior Management where we presented the Captain with two identical plaques both displaying his original stripes (a few weeks ago as he was cleaning out his office he gave these to me as a gift, but I did not feel right keeping them). One of the plaques will go home with the Master and the other will be proudly displayed in the Liberty Trophy case for as long as the ship is in service.

At the party the Captain again took the Microphone and as he wept shared with us some of his favorite memories working on the seas and thanked everyone for their hard work. He also mentioned to all of us that in all of his years that he has never been so proud to be a part of a team than here on the Liberty……there wasn’t a dry eye in the room!

We have one more surprise for Captain Casula………as he walks off the Gangway when we port in Miami, he will be flanked by his entire team as we salute him as steps foot onto dry land, his new permanent home.

In closing I would like to share with you the Captain’s parting words to the Liberty Team that he posted on all of the Crew Notice Boards:

Dear Liberty Family,

The time is arrived for a long vacation, but before leaving, I want to express my gratitude to all of you for all the efforts done to operating always very smoothly and receiving remarkable compliments from our Guests as well as from ashore Managements and Auditors. I consider myself lucky to have had such a great Team of people to work every day, and I will surely miss all of you.

After 34 years working with Carnival I am ending my career. My working relationship with many of you turned into a bond of friendship which I will cherish for years to come and while I am sad to leave ships, colleagues and friendship behind, I am excited and looking forward to opening a new chapter in my life.

Life is a journey, not a destination, in all of our days, our lives are always changing. There are at times tears as well as smiles that we must endure in life, but without all these elements, one would become dwarfed and not grow to his full potential.

If by chance our paths do not cross in the near future, wishing you, good luck with whatever path life takes you down.

Along the road you travel, may the miles be a thousand time more lovely than lonely and may you have rainbows after every storm.

Always smooth sailing and God bless you!!!

Capt. Gianpaolo Casula

Captain…..on behalf of all of us here on the blog and from the entire Carnival family I wish you a wonderful and happy retirement and thank you for the devotion and the passion that you shared with many thousands of guests and crew. We will all miss you very much.

And once again my sincere thanks to Butch for sharing this story with us.

Well, the ship is in Roatan today and the next time I am here I will take a walk around the new Mahogany Bay facilities. I wish I had time to do so today but apart from blogging to all of you I have to do the schedules, etc for my first cruise as CD. Craig is here with me though and as always will be a great help despite being as ugly as a duck billed platypus.

The new beach chair lift seems very popular and many guests are using them today. Also very popular is the tour to Gumbalinda Park to see the monkeys and parrots. I don’t have access to the guest report until next week although I can say that the many guests who have sailed with me before who are here this week have told me they love the ship. The Lanai is hugely popular as is the Lido Deck and the children’s facilities. The fact that we have both Circle C and Club O2 on deck 4 aft is something that the teens, their parents and all the other guests appreciate. I had a visit last night to both facilities and could not help but think just how lucky these kids are to have these extraordinary facilities on their vacation. This ship is then a dream come true for families and for those who feel children should be neither seen nor heard.

I have some work to do with the lobby, though. From the very first time I visited your Carnival Dream I have said that I thought the atrium was the best in the fleet both in decor and for the space provided. At the moment we have a nice duo playing there but it’s too…… ummmm …….. what’s the word I am looking for…………………..reserved………..yep………….reserved. It should have more energy and I will try and make this happen by scheduling more fun stuff there. The one problem for the lobby is that it is up against the Ocean Plaza which is without doubt the center of attraction. We have a superb band there called Voodoo who plays a mix of rock ’n roll and party music and of course you have the coffee shop, bars, and the Lanai as well. This, along with the activities that are scheduled there make the Ocean Plaza the place to be.

One thing that has to change is that damn Peruvian pipe music that plays in the lido deck restaurant. I was up there at breakfast this morning and it ruined my grits! I know I mentioned this a few weeks ago and it looks like I have a battle on my hands to get Pedro and his pipe band and replace him with some fun, vacation type music. I will get this done, I promise.

One of my favorite crew members and a favorite of many is this young lady.

This is the wonderful Ling Ling who is from a small province in eastern China. She makes wonderful coffee and always…………always has a smile on her face. Guests love to talk to her and she loves to talk to them even when like this morning………..they are downright rude.

I was standing talking to her, dunking my tea bag (PG Tips brought from home) when a lady interrupted our conversation by just saying “bathroom” ………..not, excuse me, or sorry to interrupt you, or please could you……………nope……………..just…………”bathroom.”

Ling Ling as always smiled and showed her the way and of course received no thank you or acknowledgment of her help. Hopefully this lady will not stand up before she flushes and her arse cheeks get sucked down into the toilet…………..and she is still there now.

Honestly, things like that make me so upset. How hard is it…..just to say please, or thank you.

Ling Ling by the way speaks fluent English, five dialects of the Chinese language and also speaks perfect French..….still…..nobody’s perfect. Seriously though, here is a very talented and intelligent young lady who has a university degree and speaks more languages than many of us. Yet, this 25 year old from China is working here on your Carnival Dream because she needs to support her family. I have always said that even with all the facilities and new innovations that we put on our fun for all ships these days; nothing is more important or more iconic than our crew.

I am not going to go on about how much I miss my girls but there is one side affect of not having them here that I want to mention. I noticed this last year when I was on the Carnival Legend without them…….you see……….I talk to myself out loud all the time. Well, not all the time. I don’t sit at home on my own like a character in a sitcom. I’m also not having a chat with myself that involves question and answer. For instance……. looking in the mirror and asking myself how I’m doing, responding with “not good mate” then asking, “why?” and so on ……………….. I’m not that kind of crazy.

But there have been a few times where I have caught myself talking out loud, as though I’m participating in a conversation…………….and that’s bothering me. Last night, I went to check on the nightlife on Promenade and to see the show. While I was getting ready I found myself discussing with myself what I should wear.

“A suit…nope….too formal………..has my blazer been pressed …..Oh yes…I will wear that then.”
I could hear myself talking and then to make matters worse…….I told myself to “shut up.”
Then this morning I found myself walking around Lido Deck asking myself what I should have for breakfast!

This doesn’t bother me too much though because thanks to the world of technology all the guests eating breakfast probably assumed I was on my Bluetooth. Everyone looks like they’re crazy and talking to themselves, who’s going to notice you don’t have a phone?

One thing I do tell myself is that I am very lucky to be here on your Carnival Dream and each day I realize how fortunate I am to be a Cruise Director. Considering I was called Bent Tooth at school and was as thick as Rosie O Donnell’s thighs, I feel blessed to be where I am. I can’t wait for Heidi and Kye to get here and there isn’t much else I could possibly ask for…………except maybe to go back to my cabin tonight to find Megan Fox in there……..naked………….and bored.

Your friend

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.