The Name Game

March 15, 2010 -

John Heald

I remember a comment on the blog last month commenting that it had taken nearly an hour from arrival at embarkation to actually walking on the ship…… hour! I wonder what that person thinks when they hear the news that once these body scanner thingies are in place that we will have to check in about seven years before the flight is scheduled to leave.

CNN’s Wolf Blister was talking about this yesterday and the chap he was interviewing said that longer check-in times would be needed for security purposes……..what he didn’t say was that it’s also done so you can spend all of your vacation money in the airport shops.

OK, seriously, I do understand it’s for security so that the people with iron-on badges will, if they want to……. have a long hard look in your bottom. They will also want to have a look in your shoes, your pants your bag, your pockets and your hat.

Rumor has it that if you are a man or woman with huge muscles…….they may even insist you remove your arms.

And why? Well obviously it’s to stop Abdul and his mates and their ticking Fruit of the Looms.

Because of these bastards you end up wasting hours of your life, while people in high visibility jackets rub your thighs and confiscate everything you’ve just bought in the airport shops.

It’s hard then to take comments like this one seriously:

Guest: Mrs ————-Ref: 846081113A
Cabin: ____ Booking#: _______ Added-Changed: 03/12/10 – 03/13/10

Guest stated that it had taken too long to get on the ship. Guest said she and her family arrived at 12:30pm and it was 1:40pm before they got to their cabin. Guest said that they had to wait in a long line to go through security and have their ID’s checked and that on a cruise on Celebrity it had taken 20 minutes.

I hate it when comments mention other cruise lines………..just state your case, let us apologize and move on. Now while I am not calling Mrs. Celebrity a liar. I am saying did the Celebrity ship have 4,400 guests onboard? Did you sail recently or before the world went security nuts? I still can’t understand why people do this. We now think its normal behavior to take off our clothes at an airport and nobody dares to complain. Yet, each week on each ship across the industry, as sure as Paris Hilton will have rumpy pumpy this weekend………someone will be complaining to a Guest Purser Relations Information Officer about the check in process.

Anyway, having thought about this I have decided to quit my job as Senior Cruise Director and Brand Ambassador and start my own airline. You will be able check in 30 minutes before the flight leaves, bring as much baggage and toothpaste as you want at no charge and there will be no scanners, no laptop removals, no shoes off, no pat downs, underwear searches or security checks of any kind. You just arrive, fly and maybe ……. land. I will charge a bit more than the other airlines but without all the headaches I just mentioned I think it will be worth it. I am going to call it “My Arse Air.”

Time for today’s Q and A …………here we go.

Jennifer Asked:
It would be an honour (spelt correctly) if you could help me with something.
I will be on the Splendor March 21st (cabins —-
It is my husbands and I’s 20th anniversary and we are celebrating with all our kids. To make it even more exciting my oldest son plans to propose to his girlfriend on the cruise!! Any ideas on popping the question- anything stand out in all your years with Carnival?
Thank you for all you do John and I am glad your family will be with you soon!

John Says:
Hello Jen
If your son is feeling shy then a night in the steakhouse with a romantic table for 2 followed by a stroll on deck and a bended knee declaration of love is certainly one way to go. However, if your son is feeling like this needs to be a very public affair and a huge surprise for your future daughter in law then I suggest he does this on stage on the elegant night before the show. If this is something he wants to do please have him leave a note at the Guest Services Desk as soon as he arrives on board. It should be addressed to the Cruise Director Goose who will then arrange everything. I will let him know should your son take this option. I hope you all have a brilliant time and congratulations in advance to your son and his future wife. Please let me know what happens.
Thanks for the kind words and best wishes to you all

Maribeth Kring Asked:
Dear John,
Please Reply
I am sooo looking forward to your time on the Carnival Conquest!
While timing (1 week too late for spring break) and finances will probably not permit me to cruise with you, I would love to drive down and take you to lunch in Galveston sometime while you’re here. The last cast of the Ecstasy introduced me to some wonderful restaurants down there I think you would enjoy!
I know you’ll probably be settling in during your first week so let me know what would be good for you! Big Ed has my number and email info. Let’s set up a time!

John Says:
Hello Maribeth
I have never been to Galveston before and I am certainly excited to see it and the Carnival Conquest. Are you related to Big Ed? Anyway, if you want to visit the ship please let me know. I never have time to see home ports much so maybe you will have to come to me. Thanks for the kind offer and hope to see you soon.
Best wishes

Dave Wojtylko Asked:
Hello John (Please relply)
We were on the January 30 sailing of the Dream, and we had an amazing time. The entire experience was positive, beginning with the service provided by our PVP and right on through to debarkation. You may remember us. We were sailing with Pete Macklin, who wrote you an inspiring letter about his wife Jennifer. You also read the subsequent letter from me and another cruise mate, Bob Novak. We truly appreciate the personal attention you provided, and your professionalism.
Our previous three cruises were with other cruise lines, the first with Disney and then the next two with Royal Caribbean. I responded on a message board to someone who wanted responses from people who could provide comparisons between Royal Caribbean and Carnival, people who had actually sailed both. I thought you might like to see it.
Best regards
We just returned from our cruise on the Carnival Dream. Our two prior cruises were with Royal Caribbean aboard the Explorer of the Seas and the Vision of the Seas. For the purposes of this comparison I’ll use the Explorer, as it’s the newer of the two and will be more “Apples to Apples” than the Vision would be.
The Ship: Carnival and the Dream win this round. We enjoy outdoor spaces, and the Dream is loaded with them. Where the Explorer tends to funnel you back inside to the Royal Promenade, the Dream has numerous outdoor spaces on decks 10, 11, and 12…and also deck 5 which wraps around the entire ship. The Explorer is more “rich” feeling, with more wood and marble appointments. The Dream has a much more Vegas feel, with far more chrome, acrylic, and neon. I wouldn’t describe the Dream as gaudy, but those that like the classic cruise ship appointments might be put off. After I stopped continuously making comparisons, and immersed myself in the “Fun Ship” concept, I began to enjoy it for its own merits.
Food: Carnival and the Dream win this round with GUSTO! The food in all areas was superior to what we experienced on either the Explorer or the Vision. There were at times long lines in the buffet area, but we avoided these by eating all three daily meals in the dining room. Heck…I’d rather have somebody waiting on me anyway. We had nine people in our group, and not one of us had a bad meal. Quite the opposite and we have some serious foodies in our group.
Embarkation & Debarkation: Carnival wins again, though our Explorer cruise was out of Bayonne, NJ. My wife and I both agree that we would never again sail out of that port. Bad doesn’t begin to describe our experience in Bayonne.
Wait Staff: Carnival again wins. Though our wait staff on the Explorer was good, they were not “memorable”. They did nothing really above and beyond…no better service than we’d get at a local restaurant. Our wait staff on the Dream were spot on, very personable, and they took great pains to make sure our dining experience was memorable. Major kudos to Bianca and Ardika!
Room Steward: Royal Caribbean wins this round. Carlo vs. Joan…and Carlo wins by a knockout. Joan, our steward on the Dream, was at best just adequate. We at times had to ask for beach towels, when she took our wet towels and didn’t replace them. Seeing as there’s a note that says any missing towels would result in a $22 charge, this caused my wife some stress. There was also one day where Joan missed cleaning our room entirely. Carlo on the Explorer was all about anticipating our needs. He was like a room steward ninja…you never saw him coming or going, but everything was always right where it should be.
Activities: Carnival and the Dream wins this one HANDS DOWN. We were very fortunate, having Carnival’s senior C.D. John Heald as our cruise director. He truly made this cruise a memorable and special time for our entire group. The personal attention to detail that this man exhibits is truly something to see in action. Outstanding! The C.D. on the Explorer was good by all accounts, but John Heald is the KING, baby!
Stateroom: Carnival wins here as well. The room was larger, there was more storage, the shower was slightly bigger, the lighting was better, and the appointments and furniture were more comfortable and tastefully done. Special for us on the Dream, too was that we snagged a deck two cove balcony. Can’t get one of them on a Royal Caribbean ship, and it’s their loss. This cabin ROCKED! The balcony is so close to the water line that you can hear the bubbles fizzing. Truly awesome. The only downside, and in our opinion it was a small one, is that deck two resides below deck three…which houses the galley. We did at times hear some noise above us from the kitchen. Nothing constant, and nothing that ruined our experience. Just the occasional rack of dishes and such hitting the floor, which was our ceiling. We didn’t hear any of the normal kitchen activities…just larger “events”.
Overall Cruise Experience (aka who are we cruising with next?): If you’ve been keeping score, this one’s a no-brainer. Carnival started out of the gate quick on sheer value, and just kept going from there. The lack of outside spaces on the Explorer vs. the expansive outdoor spaces on the Dream is the key decider for us. The rest of it just reinforces a decision we’ve already made. Our next cruise will be with Carnival.

John Says:
Hello Dave Wojtylko – how do you pronounce that?
Welcome home and it’s ironic that you cruised on my first voyage as CD here on your Carnival Dream and I am writing to you on my last time as Cruise Director here. This shows how far behind I am in answering questions and I apologize that it has taken me so long to get to yours. The ship was subjected to a lot of criticism during her first few months in service. Some of it was justified and some certainly not. All I asked was for people who had booked their Carnival Dream voyage to arrive at the ship and make up their own opinions and not arrive already tainted by others. That is exactly what you did. Your review was superb and apart from the stateroom steward issues which I have addressed with the Hotel Director and the Housekeeping Manager, it is truly super to hear how this ship rates against the other brand. I remember the letter to Jennifer well. Strange that I do because I read around 100 plus letters a cruise but that was sticks out in my mind. Thank you to Pete for doing that. I hope it is not too long before I see you all again and thanks so very much for that excellent review.
My best wishes to all

Stacey Asked:
John- can you please give me the link to the working Liberty webcam? The only link I have is this one:, where the date on the shot is late November. ???

John Says:

Hello Stacey
I know that they have been having some technical problems with the web cam on the Carnival Liberty but hopefully all should be well now. Here is the link thingy.
Best wishes

Marjorie Asked:
Hi John. Hope you have a fantastic weekend with your family. I heard about you while lurking on the Cruise Critics website and am happy to see that you’ll be CD on the Dream when us are cruising this Feb. 27. I’ve read your blog and like your humor (correct spelling for U.S.) This will be the first time we’ll be cruising with Carnival (yes, we’re Carnival virgins- we have cruised with RCCL before). I was just wondering about the talent shows. Are they only for passengers who can sing? Would you consider a storyteller who illustrates the story through face painting members of the audience? (I know, weird question of the day…..) Looking forward to our cruise and thanks in advance for your answer.

John Says:

Hello Marjorie
I just wanted to say a huge thanks again for the marvelous sketches, some of which I featured here on the blog thingy. You are so talented and I hope you continue to express yourself through your drawings and that we get to cruise together again soon
Best wishes

Susan Asked:
Dear John (answer if you get a chance)
Seeing that you mentioned the ship doctors, I’m just curious… do you know what it takes to be a ship doctor? Right now, I’m in my third year of medical school (so I’ve at least got the first part, getting my medical degree, taken care of), and it seems like it might be kind of fun to work on a cruise ship for a bit. Obviously, I know I have some other things to do first, like actually graduate and complete a residency. So what sort of training and experience does one need to be a cruise ship doctor and is it as fun as it sounds? If you don’t know the answer, its fine, I can always just go on another cruise and track down the ship doctor myself 🙂

John Says:
Hello Susanv85
Congratulations on your med school success so far. I am sure you are going to make a fine doctor and maybe one who works here with us. While I do not know the exact qualifications or expertise that is needed I do know that we have many doctors who work with us with different fields of expertise? One of the doctors who is here is an ER Doc while the other is a Pediatric Doctor which if think is feet…………isn’t it?
Still, rather than me waffle on and on why don’t I get someone to e mail you from our medical staff at Miami HQ and let them fill in the enormous gap that I have left you with.
Wishing you much success… would help me out if you could specialize in hemorrhoids.

Canuck Cruiser Asked:

Hey John, (PLEASE reply …..When you find a moment …..No hurry)
Please tell me that you smoked that Cohiba that I brought you before you decided to quit! I couldn’t stand to think that one narrow minded guest would cause you to stop the one of two pleasures (the other being rumpy pumpy) that you enjoy.
As Big ED just said……..tell them to bugger off and get a life. I don’t smoke but respect that fact that if you and the other officers want to have a puff and you’re in the designated area……go for it!
Just a quick question………..Were Donna and I supposed to get a copy of the Bedtime story that occurred the Jan. 30th sailing? I know that you mentioned that the “cast” would get one. Just curious.
All the best from us in Canada……….btw……..Donna expects me to drop to one knee and profess my love for her every time someone on the Olympic coverage says “CANADA” ……LOL …..Not happening.
Say HI to Heidi, Kye and the multitude of Stephanies……PS………..thanks for the champagne and fruit basket as well. Our dinner mates enjoyed the bubbly with us.
Brad and Donna from Canada

John Says:
Hello Canuck Cruisers Brad and Donna
Oh I smoked it alright and it was amazing with long ashes and lots of typical earthy Cohiba taste. I have fallen of the cigar wagon recently though but will be back onboard it once I am reunited with the girls. Thanks again for that great cigar.
Did you not get a copy? That’s really weird as Craig my assistant says he delivered it to your cabin. I will check now as I think I have a copy of that week and if that’s the case I will be in touch and mail it to you. You were fantastic Brad and I hope that every night is a yaba daba doo night for you both. I will be in touch soon.
Best wishes to you both

Jeanette Asked:
John-reply if you wish, and please ignore typos, my claws, er fingernails, are still long…..
I am here to defend you John! I am a non-smoker, but was raised in a home where my parents, one grandparent, brother, and most of my aunts and uncles smoke. I do not like it, but the fact of life is non-smokers have a right to breathe free air, but smokers also have a right to indulge their addictive habit. They just have to be aware that non-smokers may be around and to be considerate to those that do not smoke, as in don’t exhale in their direction. I also have to add that American cigarettes have a truly horrible smell to them.
You were where you were supposed to be and if this guest did not like it, she just has to remember WHERE she was when she stopped and asked you the questions she did. I find that MANY non-smokers are 100% intolerant of smokers; thankfully, I am not one of them. I have the attitude of smoke if you wish, but try to exhale the opposite direction and not towards me. I am tolerant of smokers in the casino as I know it is allowed in that space. I just find it ridiculous at how ignorant many non-smokers can be, however, I also find that Americans can vocalize the smoking issue and make it more of an issue than other nationalities can–more tolerance and understanding, but also exerting their rights as a non-smoker to have clean air.
I do hope Heidi is/was able to get Kye to be the little angel she is on the flight and that she was adored by all on the plane…..
PS I do hope you showed the Opening Ceremonies of the Vancouver Winter Olympics on the big screen. Too bad you don’t have access to Canadian channels, we are less biased and willing to show any and all events regardless of who is competing…they show it anyhow (after all Canada is a mosaic of many cultures…..)…..
Thanks John!

John Says:

Hello Fuzzypeach
I just wanted to say that despite your long claws that are your finger nails that your support for me was truly gracious. I am so very aware that on the very odd occasion that I do have a cigar that I smoke it away from the guests as much as I can and if approached while enjoying a fine cigar I stop until the guest has left.
Thank you then for those kind words which written by a non smoker such as yourself mean a lot
Best wishes

Cynthia Hood Asked:

Hi John, (please reply)
My husband and I will be on the Carnival Paradise on November 29th leaving from Long Beach. This will be the honeymoon that we never had. I have recently been diagnosed with several food allergies, and in perusing the Carnival menus, I have decided that I’ll be the first person to starve on a cruise ship!
I’m wondering if you can tell me if the food is pre-plated for the dining room, as eating in the dining room is a must do for my husband. It seems that I am allergic to almost everything on the menu such as tomatoes, berries, broccoli, peas, peppers, asparagus, seafood, mushrooms, you get the picture…
Is there a way to custom order meals (other than eating a steak or chicken breast with no sides, or sneaking a hot dog in my purse) and if so, how do I go about it? Does it need to be set-up in advance? I certainly don’t want to whip out a long list of items that I can’t have, and expect the wait staff to accommodate me, that just doesn’t seem fair to them! Do you have suggestions and/or recommendations? Thanks so much for your time.

John Says:
Hello Cynthia Hood
Please do not worry. You have given us plenty of time before your cruise in order to help you and I have asked one of the 343 Stephanies to please send your e-mail address to one of our CARE team who will be in contact. They will have you list all your allergies and we will work around them to make sure you are comfortable. Please stay in touch with me here on the blog thingy and if you need any help I will be here.
Best wishes

That’s all for today. I will be back tomorrow with more.

As usual it’s time to wrap up last week’s cruise which of course for those who were here will be remembered as the cruise we missed Roatan and as the Stinking Creek cruise.

Obviously there were many more memories than that but I am positive should a guest see me again in the future that sailed last week they will either say “we were on the Carnival Dream when we missed Roatan” or “we were on the Carnival Dream with the man from Stinking Creek.” Such is life.

The weather has been devilishly freakish this year all over the Caribbean with ships from all lines missing ports because of various weather conditions. Let’s hope that things settle down though as we move into spring and if the do I won’t have to keep typing……. Global Warming My Arse and Al Gore can come out from under his bed and start preaching again.

Hopefully though there will be other great memories of last week. I have many including a double birthday celebration of these two ladies here. Please meet Fanny (with the white hair) and Elle on my left…………they are sisters by the way.

As you can probably tell we celebrated their birthdays during our debarkation talk… Fanny’s was on March 17…..she was 98 ……..and Elle’s was on the March 19 …….she was 104.

They were here with their parents.

Kidding……………..they were on Holland America.

Kidding again.

What I am not kidding about is their age and the fact that they were celebrating this amazing birthdays within two days of each other. And what characters they were. Both spirited and fun. Fanny told me that he sister Elle does all the talking. In the last photo you will see that Elle is answering my question of “what is your birthday wish”……. her answer as you can see from the smile on my face was ……………..”a man.”

I wish them both many more happy birthdays.

Here is who is sailing with us this cruise…………..


And as for the kid count;
Under 2 Years 13
2-5 Years (Camp Carnival) 87
6-8 Years (Camp Carnival) 133
9-11 Years (Camp Carnival) 223
12-14 Years (Circle “C”) 280
15-17 Years (Club 02) 260
18-20 Years 168

As you can see this is a very high count both in the number of kids and the total number of guests onboard. The Youth Staff will be very busy for sure and so far the kids have been well behaved. I made some additional requests of parents during the Safety Briefing/Boat Drill including no running and to please be respectful of others while walking through the hallways at night etc. It has mostly worked………of course those that know this blog thing will realise that as I used the word “mostly” ……what’s coming next.

Guest: Mrs. ————Ref: 846008098A
Cabin: ____Booking#: _____Added-Changed: 03/114/10 – 03/14/10

Guest came to the GSD very upset saying that Carnival should have warned her that there would be so many children onboard. Guest stated that they are everywhere and have made this the worst cruise they have had. Guest has asked for money compensation. GSS spoke to guest and explained that it was normal at this time of year and that we would not be able to give any money back for this


Guest: Mr. ———— Ref: 846008106A
Cabin: ____Booking#: _______Added-Changed: 03/20/10 – 03/20/10

Guest called the 911 emergency line at 8:20pm saying that there were children in the cabin next to him making noise and that he and his wife could not sleep. Guest demanded security be called.

The first comment is just ridiculous and again it’s one that would only ever be asked on a cruise ship. Do you think the miserable bastard who Heidi wrote was seated next to her and Kye on their flight home wrote to British Airways and demanded compensation?

Of course he didn’t. He may have wanted to shove Kye in the overhead locker but he new better than to expect anything. This is because the airline industry is tighter than a duck’s arse with a cork shoved up there. Whereas we in this industry…….well……..don’t get me started please.

And the second comment. Well the Guest Services Associate who saw the 911 line ringing probably had hellish thoughts of a medical emergency but it wasn’t. It was some kids………laughing…… 8:15pm………….little sods…… dare they.

I checked on the manifest. The guests who complained were surprisingly in their forties, I had expected elderly folks to be in bed at 8:15pm on the first night of their cruise. But they were my age. OK, maybe they had a long flight from California, Australia or Stinking Creek. Nope………they are from Pepsicola, Florida so I am guessing the drove here.

There may be other circumstances that I am not aware of that demanded they be in bed at 8:15pm…….but come on……..calling 911……..that’s a bit extreme isn’t it.

Maybe they were being romantic and laughing boy next door put Mr. and Mrs. Pepsicola of their rhythm. Maybe they were trying to make a kid of their own. Or maybe they just don’t like kids ……..who knows? I understand that some people don’t like to spend their vacation time where there are lots of children and I respect that. But surely you would have to live in a cave not to realise that this time of year…….there are going to be kids ……..being kids.

What I do know is that it’s great to see so many families together on their vacation here on their Carnival Dream. Last week we had Fanny and Elle at aged 98 and 104. This week we have 1,000 plus kids. This once again is a reminder that this great cruise line carries more retired persons and more children and everything else in between ………… than any other cruise line in the world.

So I tried something last week which failed miserably. I decided that we should keep the library open 24 hours a day every day of the cruise. This was instead of the four hours a day that is the fleet standard. My thinking was that it was time to use the facilities of the library more. Now unlike other lines like Cunard who have the best libraries at sea, I don’t have a librarian. This is a side job that is carried out by the dancers which is why the library hours are limited. So my thinking was that we would leave the cabinets open at all times and allow……….actually lets use the word…………the guests to bring them back. They didn’t. We lost 41 books.

Remember we used to take a deposit for each book and when we did this we rarely had any non returns, but the week I decide not do this we lose 40 books. That’s a shame and considering we have an inventory of only 390 books you can see that keeping this system would not be a good idea. Oh well.

However, this leads me to another point. Whereas on the liners of Cunard who have 6,000 books on inventory which are necessary for long voyages, my question to you is….. do we still need a library or is this a space on the ships that could be used for something else? More internet stations. A card room? What do you think? Are we in a bit of a time bubble here where we think a library on the Carnival ships is a must or could we be using this space better.

I asked the staff how many book s we check out on a regular seven day cruise using the old system of deposits and they reckoned an average of 200 books a cruise here on your Carnival Dream. That’s 200 out of 4,000. So, just a thought……..what do you think about the libraries………are they a thing of the past? How many of you use them on a 3, 4 5 or 7 day cruise? I would be interested to know.

The welcome aboard show once again proved to be a great tone setter for the cruise. I was very cautious with what I said because of the amount of kids at the show. It always amazes me by the way that kids as young as 4 and 5 are up at 10:30pm at night. Anyway, I met some great characters and wanted you to meet two of them

Here is honeymooner Leslie

Carnival Honeymooner

Carnival Honeymooner

Leslie got married on Friday and here she is on her honeymoon with husband Derek who she proudly told us won the World Championship Bowling thingy in 2008 and was a runner up in 2009. It’s strange that I was talking about Wii wii bowling on Friday’s blog. I have to admit I think I have been bowling a few times and wasn’t very keen on it, probably because I was, like with all sports………crap.

I remember seeing the professional bowling on ESPN 56 once and noticed a few differences between them and the rest of us who may have bowled. They wear their own shoes, rather than ones worn by 5,000 bowlers before them and quickly spritzed, by the school-leaver behind the counter, with a heavily diluted mixture of water with a bit of soap. By the way, did you know that scrapings from the insoles of bowling alley rental shoes are what bearded laboratory scientists use to restock their Petri dishes when they want to study bacteria and foot fungus?

I also noticed that their bowling balls are polished and painted to resemble flaming meteors. They favour the single glove look, made popular, in happier times, by Michael Jackson. And unlike when I bowl…..they don’t use the rails……..and shout “bugger, bollocks, sh*t and bugger” every time they let go of the ball.

Anyway, Leslie was one of the guests in the welcome aboard show as was this chap.

This is Chu Ing………yep……..I am not ly……. ing…….his name is Chu Ing. Obviously I had a lot of fun with his name and he was great sport. They are from Toronto and when I say they I am talking about his two children and his wife………whose name is …….wait for it………and I have 1,500 people who were there, laughing as hard as me…………because her name is……………Mei Li Ing…………………..brilliant.

Anyway, Mei was not at the show and her husband said she had gone to bed. Now, the theme of the evening was “love” so I got my ships cell phone and asked Chu for his cabin number and he told me. My intention was to speak to Mei Li and get Chu…..or Chewey as he is known now here on his Carnival Dream to tell her he loves her.

So, I put the phone on speaker and held the microphone over it so the audience could hear. I called cabin 6224 as instructed but a man answered. The audience laughed and then laughed even harder when I said “Chewy…….you gave me the WONG cabin number.”

Your friend

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.