Bit Of A Bad Mood Blog

March 16, 2010 -

John Heald

I am such a huge Queen Mary 2 size idiot………I missed Mother’s Day……….I missed not only wishing my Mum, the woman that brought me up and gave me her sense of humour a happy Mother’s Day but I missed Heidi’s first as a Mum……..and that makes me a total and utter bastard in my eyes.

In the UK and Europe Mothers Day is always on the second Sunday in March and even though it’s different here in the States and Canada that is no excuse……..I missed it.

Both Heidi and my Mum received no cards or flowers or even best wishes on the phone ………….they received bugger all. OK, both ladies said they understood and it was really no big deal…………but………… me it was.

It’s hard to think you are a good husband when you do things like this. I always battle with myself every day I am away from the family and have to remember that I am doing what I think I was born to do and am doing it to support them. Let’s face it, I am no good at anything else and unless a chain of strip clubs opens aimed at the female market who love overweight ugly men with a bent tooth gyrating on a stage dressed only in thong …….. cruise directing is all I have. Many people ask me if I would ever work in the office in Miami. Well, I am sure that if I begged enough they would find me something but I would be useless to them and like a caged lion sitting in a cubicle……….OK, maybe like a caged skunk more than a lion then.

I wish Heidi and Kye could spend more time with me now but not only is the flight so long but the cabin is too small. I mean it’s big enough (just) for me but for the three of us ……….it would be like getting me into a pair of underpants without the letter “x” on the label. So I am buggered. I was handling it well up until I realized I had forgotten Mother’s Day…….well……all except the coming home to an empty cabin…………I truly despise that.

I have tried to be a good husband. I have come to accept that in any dispute I have with Heidi that I am wrong. I suggest all me except this not simply because your life will be so, so much easier if you do. It is also because, in almost all circumstances, you are genuinely wrong. Her way of stacking the dishwasher is more logical. Watching reruns of The West Wing isn’t more important than watching re-runs of Sex and the City. And nothing can be gained from leaving a yellow stain on the toilet seat.

But men………..remember……..even though you are wrong about absolutely everything, you must still put up a bit of a fight. If she thinks you are agreeing to everything simply to make your life easier, it won’t make your life easier. She will know and then your life will become as hellish as dropping the soap in a Turkish prison.

Oh yes………talking is important. Talking and listening. I know it can be excruciating, but wives need conversation. They cannot exist on grunts alone. You must save that for when you are with your mates watching sports on TV. If you don’t, you will be nagged. And nagging, as we all know, is the marital equivalent of water boarding.

Your computer is not more important than your wife.

Your Raspberry isn’t, either.

On the specific point of housework, there are two things you must accept. First, you have to do some. Second, you can nab all the decent chores (putting out the trash, unloading the dishwasher, cleaning the car) and avoid all the horrid ones pairing socks, loading the dishwasher, vacuuming, cleaning the yellow stain of the toilet seat……… be proactive.

And finally, always remember you were lucky enough for your true love to agree to spend the rest of her life with you, in sickness, health and toleration of all your stupid blokey habits. Do everything you can to keep her, because she has been kind enough to keep you………..but don’t forget Mother’s Day especially the first one after the birth of your first child. Otherwise not only will you be in the doghouse……………….you will feel totally and utterly ashamed of yourself……….like I do.

Time for today’s questions.

Mike & Ronda Long Asked:
**John, please reply**

Hi John, what a surprise to us to be the subject of your blog!! Truly, it was an honor to meet and speak with you; the highlight of our cruise. We love your sense of humor!

We were glad to learn Kye and Heidi arrived safely and it was wonderful when you showed Kye’s picture on your Afternoon Show. As I mentioned to you, sometimes parents don’t fully appreciate the healthy children they are given. I know you and Heidi enjoy every moment with Kye, and that’s a wonderful thing.

We mentioned that we knew from Rachel’s birth her lifespan would be short. We were blessed to have her with us for nearly 4 years and she taught us so much, most of all – true unconditional love. Although her genetic condition (COFS syndrome) created multiple challenges, she lived every moment as fully as possible.

Now on to the beautiful Carnival Dream…….we had a blast! One of our biggest comments would be didn’t notice any cigarette smoke odor at any time. The ship is more beautiful than all of the photos posted on the blog; she really has to be seen in person.

Thanks again for all of your kindness. You are a very special person!
Mike & Ronda

John Says:
Hello Mike and Rhonda

I am sure I speak for everyone when I say once again how sorry I was to learn of your daughter’s passing. The love you had for her and the love you still have for her now is extraordinary and it was a true honour to listen to your stories of your beautiful child. Thank you for sharing those moments and for your kind words about your Carnival Dream.

I hope we see each other again soon.

Best wishes to you all

Sabrina Asked:
John – please reply –

Hello! First off, our family loves to cruise with Carnival. Secondly, I’m not sure if you are still interested in this as it was in a thread that was a few months old, one of our children has been diagnosed with autism. He is 3 and has been on 2 previous Carnival cruises. He did quite well at Camp Carnival. We are actually seeing improvements every day. It’s wonderful.

I emailed the special needs department and they did reply stating to head to the Special Assistance desk for embarkation and then see the purser’s desk for debarkation instructions. I have no idea what, if anything, they are going to do, but I am very pleased that we may receive a little help while boarding.

Aidan is great, but very impatient. The kid will screech at a decibel level that shatters eardrums when he feels he was waited long enough… 35-40 seconds would be his idea of waiting LOL

Anyway, the thread requested that we contact you via your blog, put John -please reply- and the following info:

Thank you so much for all you do to make Carnival cruises an amazing vacation experience for our family. Our kids literally love cruising with Carnival more than they love Disneyworld. I found that out after I spent about $5000 to take them to that horrid and crowded place.


John Says:
Hello Sabrina

I know you are on the ship right now and I am sure things are going well. I sent Aidan a gift which I hope he enjoys and please let me know how things went and if you feel there are any ways in which we can improve in our care of looking after Aidan and others like him.

I hope you are having a fantastic time.

Best wishes to all

Alan Tomasko Asked:
Dear John (Please Reply)

I have been reading your blog for almost a year now and find it funny and addictive. We will finally have the honour (spelled correctly) of sailing with you again on the Dream March 6th. This will be are ninth Carnival Cruise and will be taking our two teenage daughters (their 3rd time cruising). Hopefully you can answer this and settle argument between the wife and myself as to when was the last time you were are CD. She says it was the Fascination April 1996 and I say it was on the Sensation March 1994 this cruise you might remember, I know it seems like ages ago, but there was a large drag queen named Mary chasing you around the ship and we had engine problems that canceled our stop in Jamaica and the ship had to rescue a group of Cubans floating out in the Gulf of Mexico. Does any of this ring a bell?

Also, if this submission is not too late would it be possible for you to work your magic and possibly be able to arrange it that we are seated at a large table. We so enjoy interacting with others at dinner verses being put into a booth for the four of us. We have late seating and our cabin is 2254. Needed to check out the new cove balconies.

See you soon.
Alan Tomasko

John Says:
Hello Alan

Thanks for the kind words about the blog and I hope it continues to bring you a smile or two.  I know you just got off the ship and I wanted to make sure you were

OK with the table assignment and that you all had fun. This is one of those questions that got away from me and as the readership of the blog thingy increases so does the number of questions and I apologize to you and everyone else if I am late in my replies. Please let me know if you had fun and I send my best wishes to you and the family.


joe mcdonald Asked:
Dear john, (not the best way to start a letter on valentine’s day).

I would like to know if you can give me a little information on the procedure involved in the production of the legends show. I will be on the dream the week of 3/27, and I am interested in signing up for the show. I know the last cruise I was on last year one impersonator they were looking for was Garth brooks. I would like to know if they are looking for the same cast of characters on each cruise or does it change? I do a mean Garth brooks. I know auditions take place a karoake, but how does it work for the main show?  Do you sing with the band or is it karaoke style as well, where you have the words prompted in front of you? Look forward to hearing from you.

John Says:
Hello Joe

Carnival Legends continues to be very popular and we will indeed be having the show on Friday night here on your Carnival Dream. The characters are at present:

James Brown

Aretha Franklin

Sir Elton John


Britney Spears………….Legend my arse


Garth Brooks

Gloria Estefan


Frank Sinatra

These legends may not be around much longer though as we are going to be replacing some of them soon and I will have more details on that as soon as it happens. Meanwhile, auditions will be listed in your Capers and unless Todd changes …………. bugger ………. auditions will be listed in your Fun Times and unless Todd changes anything they are held on Tuesday nights at 10:30pm in the Burgundy Lounge. The show is performed with the cast of dancers, singers and the orchestra and I hope you get a chance to perform. You will love the experience for sure.

Wishing you the best of luck and a great cruise

Jane Schneider Asked:

so happy Carnival is going back to Europe! Can you tell me if you will be the Cruise Director on the Dream when it sails in Oct?

You were the Cruise Director when we sailed to Europe on the Splendor, and we remember you fondly. Hoping you will be there. Planning on booking this amazing itinerary in the next few weeks.

Hoping to see you.
Jane and Eric Schneider

John Says:
Hello Jane Scneider

I love Europe and I have made no secret in telling everyone how excited I am about the Carnival Magic returning there in 2011. I will be the CD on the Carnival Magic but on your Carnival Dream in October. That privilege will go to Carnival’s best CD Todd Wittmer whom I know you will love.

I hope though to see you both in Europe again and thanks for all the kind words.

Best wishes to you both

Larry Asked:
Hello John, Reply if you feel the need.

Just wanted to let you know that we enjoyed our cruise on the Triumph (Jan 31-Feb 6) out of New Orleans, the ship was fantastic and loved the lay out, however I am a little disappointed that the ” little something” that you were going to have sent to our cabin for the wife ( who put up with me for 20 years) never arrived, this is however not a complaint just wanted to let you know in case there was a mix up or it went to one of the newlywed couples that we saw board the ship and never saw again till we debarked lol ( they did look a little wore out but ALL SMILES) there was one thing that we did notice and it was a first, we could never get to the rio lounge, or several other clubs due to the number of ” special group” meetings, there was the Baptist singers group, a swing dance group and several other groups on the cruise with us. I hate to admit it but we became a little bored, we went to the shows but the mood on the ship seemed very sedate even the CD ( while very funny) was somewhat tame, the weather while cold leaving port and most of the next day was fine and the seas were smooth the deck seemed almost empty and no events, we did see several crew members escorting the groups from one area to another, heck even the art auction had to be held in the disco (give them kudos for that they did a great job), I know that you love a good cigar and I can tolerate a ” good cigar” unfortunately the man in the cabin next to us wouldn’t have known a good cigar from a large turd lol, he was out there morning noon and night with one lit up it smelled so rank that we couldn’t even go out on the balcony, we made several loud comments and coughed a lot but I swear he would take another big drag and blow it around the partition then cough that disgusting bad lungs cough, well he had a lot of class, it may have been low class but it was class, lol. Anyway, is there some way that arrangements for large groups can be made that don’t tie up the entire crew and lounges, I understand that they pay a good price for the enjoyment of being on these fantastic ships but what about the rest of us. We will be booking another cruise in the near future (and another, and another and another, etc….) but this one was somewhat of a disappointment. Hope to see you onboard next time. Btw our cabin was 7377.

John Says:
Hello Larry

I am so very upset that you did not receive your gift. This is the second time a certain person has let me down and I am not happy about that at all. I am so very sorry and I promise I will make up for it next time you come and cruise with us.

What the heck was your cabin neighbor smoking that would give him such an awful cough? What a shame and I am so sorry that you had to endure that. Group business is very important to every cruise line and each of us is trying to attract more and more. However, one of the concerns with this is just as you mentioned the fact that they can take away the ship’s lounges for meetings and events etc. I am going to send this to the CD of the Carnival Triumph and I am sure he will be disappointed at your comments about being bored as I am about you not receiving your gift.

Thanks for the review and please let me know the next time you book a cruise with us and I will make up for what did not get done this time.

Best wishes to all

Leslie Asked:
Dear John: Please reply.

I remembered George’s (the assistant maitre d’ on the Jubilee and Celebration) last name. It is Hondromohalis or Hondomohalis. Also I thought up a rather interesting name (in my opinion) for the new Carnival ship that is being built or will be built. I’d like to see it called Peace. Since Carnival is the biggest cruise line with their encompassing Holland America, Princess, Seabourn, Cunard, and Costa under their umbrella I thought the name Peace would be rather appropriate. Here is Carnival’s chance to make a big statement to the world by promoting “Peace”. Hope your visit with your girls is going well and that Kye is enjoying being on a very big “boat”. Best regards, Leslie

John Says:
Hello Leslie

You are of course talking about George the Greek one of our long standing crew members and one of the most fun personalities we have ever had. George is currently on the Carnival Inspiration and continues to be one of our very best Maitre D’s. It has been too long since I have worked with him.

The name “Peace” is a wonderful suggestion although I doubt the marketing beardies will see it as a good name for a fun for all ship. Your sentiment though is spot on and peace is certainly something we all hope for.

Thanks for the kind words and I did indeed have a wonderful time with Heidi and Kye

Best wishes

Sandra Moran Asked:

Question, not a complaint, we did the Mexican Riviera Jan 17, 2010 on the Splendor. Over all it was nice (we would be double Platinum if you had one over 20 cruises) we love Carnival. I can see some of the cutbacks due to the economy but accept these are necessary, but a question. Why is the non smoking slot machine area on that ship (or any other ship) right next to a very smoky bar, I can honestly say that it saved us (6 in our party) a ton of money. Not real smart placement and the smokers don’t care and neither does the staff. Smokers sit there any way. (Only 8 to 10 machines) A different location would help Carnival get more of our gambling money (perhaps Air cleaners???) who knows. It’s OK as I can get to Las Vegas in 4 to 6 hours and can leave it there instead. Not angry or upset just giving you guys food for thought. We have seen Carnival fix many problems in the past. This could use some attention. We hope to continue to vacation on Carnival and look forward to appreciating all of the effort all of you put into making us feel at home. We love your employees

Sandra and Dennis Moran

John Says:
Hello Sandra Moran

This is an excellent point and one that is best answered by sharing with you the fact that the trial to have a mostly non smoking casino here on your Carnival Dream has been a huge success. I think this may be the way forward and I will certainly be sending in your comments as proof to this to the folks at the top. Thank you for writing. Constructive criticism is what will keep us at the top of the cruise industry. Let’s see what happens with casino smoking in the near future.

Thank you for your loyalty.

Best wishes to all

Claire Potter Asked:
John, please reply

I have not been on a cruise but a friend of mine who has put me in touch with your blog because they thought I could help you

I know you make jokes about your weight but I do suggest you stop and take it more seriously. You will feel better if you really start to shed the pounds and you will look better as well. I am sure Carnival would like you to be healthy and look good on the shows, right?

If you need help and advice I can give it to you and show you how to shed 30 pounds in just 6 weeks. I work with Herbal Life products and they are going to work for you I promise. You have my e mail address so use it please and save yourself.

Claire Potter

John Says:
Hello Claire Potter

I am not sure how to reply to this except to say I am trying to lose weight and do it my way. I also have to say that it’s a shame that your care for me is hidden behind your wanting to sell me some tea.

I won’t be e-mailing you Claire but send you my best wishes.

Irene Garner Asked:
Dear John…..please reply

I just wanted to write to you to let you know that we (my grandson Mackenzie and I) had a wonderful time aboard the Carnival Dream last week. It is a beautiful ship, and as always, the service, the dining, the excursions, the staff and crew all exceeded our expectations. I think embarkation was the fastest we have experienced too. We were picked up at our hotel earlier than we expected, and we were enjoying lunch on the lido deck by midday.

It was a real pleasure to meet you and all the entertainment was top class, especially the new show “Dancing in the Streets”. At no time did we wait in line for more than a few minutes for any of our meals, either on the lido deck or for the “Any time dining”. In fact I enjoyed that more than the set dining times and we were able to meet new friends every night. Your entertainment staff is the best, and helped make our vacation even more special.

I have no criticisms about the ship but I do have a question. I was wondering why there is no adults-only swimming pool on the Carnival Dream. I know there is the Serenity deck, but there are only hot tubs there. The pool at the back of the ship on the Sunset deck would be the perfect place as it is smaller than and not as loud as being by the lido deck pool. I was at the pool at the rear of the ship on the last sea day and there were eight children having a wonderful time jumping in and out of the pool, but I wouldn’t have wanted to go near them. There were only 300+ children on the ship last week, but this week when there are over 1,300 children, the adults won’t be able to get near any pool. The kids have the water park and slides too, so it would be nice to have something just for the adults.

BTW, what happened to the showing of the Olympic Games opening ceremonies? I thought we’d get to see them after the Super Bowl fans getting to see their game. Thank goodness I recorded it so I can watch it here at home.
Anyway, back to reality.

Thanks again for a wonderful vacation…..Irene Garner (Hooked on cruising) and Mackenzie (the wave)

John Says:
Hello Irene Garner

Thanks for the kind words and that great review of your Carnival Dream cruise. I am so glad you liked the entertainment and certainly the Dancin in the Street show is one that everyone is talking about. The company is a family oriented one and that’s why we don’t have an adults only pool. We do as you mentioned have an adult only whirlpools but we don’t feel that we need to have a pool just for adults. Maybe though it is something we need to look at. I am glad you had a goodtime. I showed a lot of the Olympic coverage on the big screen but the opening ceremony was on at a time that conflicted with other deck events and music. It was a fabulous Olympics though and Canada should be proud.

I hope it isn’t long before we see you again.

Best wishes

Eduardo Peraza Asked:
Dear john,

I have a huge favor to ask you and understand if you decline- Me and my family will be taking a cruise on the carnival liberty on march 27th and this will be my last cruise in a while with them because I will be turning 18 and joining the military…. so here comes the favor- being 17 at the moment and not owning a credit card, it is very difficult to buy a gift on carnivals website for my parents to thank them for the 7 or 8 cruises (I lost count) they’ve taken me on, so would you be able to pull some strings for me and make it so that there is a little present in their room when we board the carnival liberty? If you can’t I understand Love the blogs, keep them coming!

John Says:
Hello Eduardo

Consider it done mate. I will ask the CD Noonan to do this for me. We all wish you the best in your military career and have a great cruise.

That’s all for today. I will be back with more tomorrow. Actually I should apologize to Claire Potter. My answer was rude and flippant and I am sorry about that. I am having a bad day and took my problems out on you…………please forgive me.

You may have heard some screaming where you live last night and if you did it came from your Carnival Dream. No, someone didn’t walk past my cabin window and see me naked, bending over to get something out of the refrigerator……..nope………these were not screams of terror but screams of absolute joy. Here’s why.

Subject: Casino Winner – $23,957.85

Hi John,

As you were already informed we have a big winner in the Casino today!

The name of the player is Mrs. ___________ and she won the amount of $23,957.85 on a penny machine.

Thank you,


Yes, you read that right. She won $23,957.85 on a penny machine. By the way, Sandra is on her first cruise and traveling with her husband Peter celebrating their 49th wedding anniversary.

Now, let’s go to the Carnival Valor and read a comment card sent to me by Big Tex the superb cruise director…………….and yes………..this is real.

Yep, we are now so desperate for your money that we have resorted to the same tactics that members of the A Team used to get BA to fly. Those aren’t chocolate mints we are putting on your pillow at night………’s a drug that makes you lose all your money in the casino……………it’s called Loseitol. Side effects may include explosive diarrhea and writing a load of bollocks on comment cards.

I did want to show you this letter from a 12-year-old girl called Natalie, just because ……… well……it just tickled me that she would write this about her parents and how she describes them as the best .

Time for today’s photos which are as usual very, very random.

So here we are in St. Thomas and the sun shines down on us and the other ships in port. There are a total of 16,000 cruise ship passengers here again and I have learned over the last few weeks that it is absolutely vital that I tell our guests to allow extra time to return to the ship. For example, it takes about 15 minutes to get downtown in St. Thomas from your Carnival Dream.

However, as most of the ships leave port at roughly the same time, most guests tend to come back at the peak time of 4 pm. I therefore ask our guests to allow 45 minutes to get back to the ship from the madhouse that is downtown St. Thomas. It is even worse in St. Maarten. You see in St. Thomas the Monster Mall of the Seas docks over the hill at what is known as the Submarine Pier so at least their guests go in a different direction to the other three ships docked at Havenside.

But in St. Maarten, the Monster is docked next to us along with the beautiful Emerald Princess and three other ships. Thus, all the guests come back to the same area ………at the same time. There is no hiding from the fact that it is very busy and the lines for the water taxis and taxis are long………….patience is needed for sure.

Excursions this week are mostly all sold out, especially the beach tours. That’s because of course we have lots of children here and Mum and Dad know that to keep the kids happy you need sand, sea and sun. Kye already loves the water and swim time at the pool and bath time are joyous moments for her. I am sure she will love the beach as well as of course does Heidi.

This may cause problems because I’m not really a beach bum at all. I get bored easily when faced with having to lounge around doing very little for extended periods of sunny time. I know everyone has their favourite Caribbean Beach. For some it’s Seven Mile Beach in Grand Cayman. For others it’s Trunk Bay on St. John or Megan’s Bay here in St. Thomas. However beautiful it might be, to me, a beach is a beach, rather like fireworks ………. Seen one, you’ve pretty much seen them all.

I am glad that it has been sunny this week though because thanks to Al Gore and his fellow beardies nobody ever expects it to rain in the Caribbean………and it does. It’s our fault as well though because rain is never shown in brochures……it’s always azure skies and endless sun. And I guess it does most of the time but when it does rain the guests look shocked……….”rain………in the Caribbean…………I don’t believe it!”

Snorkeling is of course the other main attraction and in St. Thomas and St. Maarten all the snorkel excursions are sold out. The sea here is a deep blue and crystal clear, with thousands of fish lazing around  happy in the knowledge that they are about to be entertained by the astounded stares of the amateur Carnival Dream snorkelists who float around pointing and trying to speak to each other in bubbles – “Lkkkk is mpror fsh… ”, but at least they are relatively safe from fishermen.

As well as the cruise ships the calm waters and shelter of the bay here in St. Thomas is a magnet for some of the most impressive super yachts in the Caribbean. Heidi and I always used to play the “which one I’d buy” game when we were here together as we did in the Mediterranean as well.  Would it be the one with the helicopter or the one with unbelievably tasteless 18th-century French furniture and two Monets? We eventually settled on a relatively modest one that had a couple of Jet Ski’s and a speedboat attached. What Heidi didn’t know was that I was imagining all the Latvian women my super yacht would attract.

As you can imagine I shake a lot of hands when I meet guests. Most have a normal handshake while have a shake like Richard Simmons’ thingy at a Latvian Lap Dancing Club and some shake your hand so hard you actually gasp in pain. Even worse than that though is shaking hands with someone who has just put a double thick layer of hand cream on. So much so that when you shake their hand, the cream shoots up between the gap at the top where your hands meet making a soft, farting type noise as you shake. Of course, the cream is then transferred to your hand and this last Captain’s Celebration my right hand smelled of lavender with a hint of vanilla.

Then there are the Italian officers who as you know like to kiss other men as a form of goodbye or hello. I have accepted this as a cultural thingy and am prepared to be kissed now and then and do so with a smile…..even though I think it’s camper than a disco dancing peacock.

However, a new monster has risen in past months……………the man hug. Male guests who read the blog, who know me and who want to show their thanks for a great cruise have started to hug me…………..and I don’t know how to respond.

It seems that men these days are no different to the ladies. We had a bit of a scuffle last week between two ladies in the dance club that involved some proper punching. When I go out to the pub with my mates I see men drink as much white wine as women. Yes, I know I am not one to talk with my Diet Coke but that’s for work and diabetes reasons. And women these days who are just as likely as men to have a tattoo of a snake disappearing down their arse crack.

Some things remain sacred though……..but for how much longer? So far I have not met a man who has ever dotted the “I” in his name with a little heart, or signed off with a smiley face. But that’s about it… fellow CD’s are using product in their hair and the Cloud 9 Spa does as many facials for men as they do for women. There is bugger all to differentiate us by.

So what about this hugging thing. Well women will hug each other even though they only net a few minutes ago by the cereal aisle at the local Publix and now men are doing the same. Yet “man hugging” is even worse. I had a guest hug me last week and he hung onto me for dear life. It used to be that if male mates wanted to go beyond the normal everyday handshake that they would do an “island ‘thing. I mean one of those complicated handshakes that looked like naked glove puppet grappling. This has been replaced by the man hug. And everyone as I said is doing it. Male guests, male crew ……….everyone.

Maybe it’s because men value the friendship of other men more highly than they can ever say. What’s next…I guess it won’t be long before us men will hug each other, look into each other’s eyes and say… “I love you. Never leave me. You complete me.”….… and that would mean we would only be one step away from the last major difference between us and women….going to the bathroom together.

It’s a man’s world…… arse.

Sorry about my bad mood earlier…..I am really mad at myself ….and feeling a bit lonely.

Your friend

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.