Meat – Linda

August 10, 2010 -

John Heald

Scientists with beards have given up on finding a cure for the world’s diseases and instead (according to the news today) they’ve developed a nasal spray to make men more affectionate.

Apparently a couple of sniffs of this soppy spray and the emotionally baron chap becomes a cuddle monster…

What a load of bollocks. This is totally unnecessary. Everyone knows there’s been a substance available for years that makes men more lovey-dovey. It is cold and usually served in bottles or in the UK in pints.

Come on ladies, admit it. There is nothing more certain to induce a slurred bout of “Iloveyoudarlin” than a bucket full of Budweisers. Except, of course, the vague promise of rumpy pumpy, whereupon many males will become as attentive as a dog begging for a bone.

My question is this…………who in God’s name, is going to sign up for the love mist?

The news report says it is based on something called oxyttocin. This hormone is used to help mothers bond with babies and helps kick start the production of breast milk. It’s hard to foresee a male stampede to Walgreens. One thing I guarantee that you’ll never hear in a gathering of chaps is “Hey lads, want some of this? It’s great for lactation.”

But hold on a minute. What if you have a male boss and you’re due a bollocking? Supposing Gerry Cahill doesn’t like what I have written in the blog thingy or thinks I am no longer a good brand ambassador. A few surreptitious squirts around his chair and maybe he’ll be cooing over me wanting man hugs. The possibilities are endless. We could shower war zones and suspected terror cells from biplanes and create a global hugging.

The beards at Cambridge University might have gone and created a formula for WORLD PEACE. Come on everyone……….time for a group hug…………….no?……..OK then……….let’s do some Q and A instead. Off we go.

Reid Bartlam Asked:
Please Reply

Hi John!

My lovely new bride and I just returned from our Honeymoon cruise aboard the fantastic Carnival Liberty. We had a wonderful time! The ship was fantastic! The service, the food and the crew were great!

I know there were a couple of snags, such a tender issue in Half Moon Cay. It seems as one of the tenders broke down and we were down to 2 tenders to bring everyone ashore and back to the ship. We were on an organized tour, so we were led down to the tender area and were ashore by 10 am. During this time, we were unaware of an issue with one of the tenders. We had a great time on Half Moon Cay and can’t wait to go back someday. However, I’m sure there will be some negative comments by some readers or on Cruise Critic because of the issue. We totally understand that it was completely out of Carnival’s control and they crew did the best they could. Later that evening, we had a letter in our cabin from Captain Cutugno (more on him in a bit) explaining the situation and apologizing for the issue.

The other snag was that we had to miss Grand Turk on Thursday. We were looking forward too it. However, as we approached the island on Thursday morning (after a VERY rough night at sea), I noticed that we seemed to be having problems maneuvering. Soon after, Captain Cutugno came on the PA and announced that because of 42 knot sustained winds at the pier, we’d be unable to dock. He quickly substituted Nassau as an alternative. This was quite impressive, as he tried to make sure he took care of his guests. Again, we were not upset and totally understood the reason for not docking.

In addition to everything we loved about the cruise, we’d like to point out a couple of really fine points. First was Captain Giovanni Cutugno. Captain Cutugno was the first Captain I’ve seen that was incredibly visible and approachable. Just about every evening, he was walking around or hanging around the Casino Bar, socializing with the guests. I had written a letter to him to see if he could arrange a bridge tour. After a few days, we asked him about this at the Past Guest Party. He said that he was unable to clear it, but to see if I could get on the Behind the Fun tour. This ended up being sold out, but he pulled some strings and let me on it…something he didn’t have to do. It was greatly appreciated. He really made our cruise great and we can’t wait to sail with him again.

Secondly, I’d like to talk a little about our CD Butch. I read the blog the other day about the bad review about Butch. I couldn’t ever imagine anyone saying anything bad about him. He’s, BY FAR, the best CD we’ve ever had (we haven’t sailed with you, yet)! He was beyond friendly. He was extremely approachable and was always around the ship. I wonder when he finds time to sleep. He really made our trip. In fact, we’re looking to plan our next cruise, so that it’s on the Carnival Dream to be able to sail with him again. Please let him know how enjoyable he made our vacation and that he’ll do a FANTASTIC job on the Dream!

Sorry to ramble on, but we wanted to pass along this wonderful experience. Even though things didn’t go as planned, this was still probably one of the best cruises we’ve been on. We can easily see how the Liberty is one of the highest rated ships in the fleet.

Also, we had a chance to get an up and close look at the Norwegian Epic. And you’re absolutely right, it’s epically hideous! It was docked next to us in Nassau and was almost painful to look at. We talked with a gentleman at the airport today who had come off the Epic and said it was horrible. The cabins were small and for 4 days, he had an inch of water in the cabin after an air conditioner leaked. No thanks. It made appreciate Carnival even more. Thanks again, John.

Reid and Lyndsey Bartlam

John Says:
Hello Reid and Lyndsey Bartlam

Thanks so much for that review and it was interesting to read another side of what happened that cruise. I say this because Butch sent me some reviews he had read on the cruise boards that really upset him and even though the tender breakdown and rough weather were beyond his or anyone else’s control, the remarks were somewhat cruel.

Anyway, I am sorry for you and all the guests because missing a scheduled port is never something that we enjoy doing and knowing Captain Cutugno as I do he would have made every effort to get the ship alongside. Only when he thought that this would have impacted the ship’s safety would he have canceled the call. He is a remarkable captain and later in this week’s blogs I will have news about him that you will want to know.

I am so glad that you took the time to write about Butch who gives so much each and every day to make the guest experience a brilliant one. I continue to be proud of him.

So thanks again for the great review and for your understanding. I hope it will not be too long before we see you again and until then I hope you continue to enjoy the blog thingy.

Best wishes to you both
John

Jeannie Asked:
Dear John, Please Reply.

Thank you SO much for facilitating the reservations for the Chef’s Table. We submitted our request via your blog and within two days received confirmation from the ship’s Maitre D – wow! We’re so excited and we’re definitely looking forward to this wonderful experience.

Would you mind explaining what the next step will be once we’re on the ship? Will there be a letter with the information in our stateroom? When do they charge our Sail and Sign cards? We’re doing a back to back on the Carnival Imagination in December and signed up for the Chef’s Table on the 12/3/10 sailing. Do you happen to know what day it will on since that first leg is only three days?

Thanks for your patience in answering my many questions and thanks again for being willing to put yourself out there for all of us Carnival cruisers!

Jeannie P.S. If you ever decide to coordinate the reservations in advance for cabanas at Half Moon Cay, please let me know!! 🙂

John Says:
Hello Jeannie

I am glad you got your confirmation so quickly. For the most part reserving a spot at The Chef’s Table through the blog thingy has been working well. There have been one or two glitches but I think we have those ironed out and all should be well.

When you get onboard you will receive a beautiful invitation with details on where and when to meet. The Chef’s Table is rapidly becoming a firm favorite on our ships and I am glad to be able to help with the reservations.

Please let me know if you have any other questions.

Best wishes
John

Katiel53 Asked:
John -Please Reply,

I hope you get to enjoy your week off. You certainly deserve it and I am sure you will have a wonderful, real vacation. We are sailing on Carnival Miracle on Oct. 18 and are Platinum. I was reading what Judy Sharum posted about the VIP lines and I know you are going to check for her for February. Will you please check earlier regarding VIP treatment for boarding in Ft Lauderdale so we will know what to expect? Thanks so much.

Frank & Gerri

John Says:
Hello Frank and Geri

I have been speaking to a lady called Doris who is the lady in charge of our embarkation at our homeports. She is a truly dedicated and professional lady and has assured me that she will look into all the Platinum and VIP check in systems in all the home ports of call. It would be very valuable though for you all to tell me if you see any way of us improving and if so please write to me here on the blog. We now have a direct line to someone who can make a difference and who will be reading the comments specifically to see how we are doing. So if anyone has suggestions or comments and just as importantly words of praise for the Platinum and Milestone check in system……please let us know.

Thanks as always and best wishes to you both
John

Joe Asked:
John Please Reply

For the past few months I’ve become a John Heald blog thingy junky. Since 2005 we have taken 13 Carnival Cruises and I can truly say they have all been wonderful. I’m not saying that there haven’t been problems, but I feel that the difference between a good company and a great one is how they handle these problems. A perfect example of this happened on the Legend on our last cruise. This ship was involved in a minor fender bender with the ship with the crown. Our CD (the much abused Jen Baxter) did a fab job of keeping everyone safe and claim. There was no frantic announce like OMG were going to hit, but instead a sweet claim voice came over the PA to please move away from the port side of the ship. Then at the show that night Jen appears on stage in a life jacket saying there is no need to worry (what a perfect way to put the FUN back into the cruise)

Needless to say I’m a Carnival fan for life. Our next cruise is Oct.2 on the Dream, I would love to ask for something special, but for the life of me I can’t think of anything that isn’t taken care of on board. I always check out my table in the main dining room when I get on board and being as broad as tall I don’t fit at all the tables, but the MD has always given me what I asked for. Thanks for the fun with your blog a maybe someday we will meet on board.

John Says:
Hello Joe

A John Heald blog thingy junky…….brilliant. Congratulations on your 13 cruises and thanks so much for your wonderful loyalty. You know, I was on the Carnival Legend when we rammed …. sorry……accidentally hit the Something of the Seas. I was on a handover week with Jen and I helped her handle the situation which as you said ……she did fabulously.

As you haven’t asked for anything for your next cruise I am going to ask you for something. Please send me your cabin number via a blog posting on September 1. Until then I hope you continue to enjoy the blog thingy.

Best wishes
John

SallyOwl Asked:
JOHN PLEASE REPLY

John, you deserve every minute of your week off … and more! However, when you return, please could you repeat the list of ships which have the Chef’s Table experience? I know you put it on the blog before, but unfortunately I didn’t keep a copy. Enjoy your break!

John Says:
Hello SallyOwl

I had a wonderful time at home and even though it was only 10 days ago it already feels like 10 months. Here as requested is the latest information on the Chef’s table.

Carnival Ecstasy
Carnival Dream
Carnival Liberty
Carnival Imagination
Carnival Inspiration
Carnival Sensation
Carnival Pride
Carnival Fascination
Carnival Freedom
Carnival Legend

Carnival Conquest, The Carnival Glory and the Carnival Miracle all start this month. I hope you get to experience this fantastic culinary journey soon.

Best wishes
John

Julie Mendenhall (jrmende63) Asked:
John, PLEASE REPLY

My hubby is one cruise behind me. We sail on 3/31/11 on the Carnival Destiny. And stay onboard for the following cruise 4/4/11. My Platinum cruise will be the 3.31 cruise and Randall will be platinum on 4.4.11 (our 30th wedding anniversary). My question is this. I thought that you did not get a platinum card until your 10th cruise. My co-worker said no she called Carnival and someone told her that all people in the cabin get Platinum if one is platinum. I thought that I would get the Platinum card on 3.31.11 cruise and Randall would get gold then on the 2nd leg of the back to back, he would get a Platinum card. Can you verify if this is so? I am just curious. J

ulie

John Says:
Hello Julie Mendenhall

I am sorry to say but whoever gave this information to your friend is wrong. The individual has to have cruised 10 times before they get a Platinum card. It appears we may need to educate some of our shore side staff to this and again I apologize for the misinformation. Your husband will get his card on the second part of your back to back cruise which means you get yours first……………..I am sure you will have fun with that!

Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you before you sail and thank you both for your loyalty to Carnival.

Best wishes to you both
John

Angela Asked:
Dear John (and the Stephanies),

Please respond…

I know it is a long way out but I was wondering if you happen to know when they will open up reservations for the steakhouse and the Chef’s table (making the assumption there will be one) for the Carnival Magic.

I have booked two cruisings on the Carnival Magic and want to do both dining experiences on at least one of the cruises, probably both sailings. The group I am traveling with will be celebrating a lot of things on these cruises (solider returning from Afghanistan, cancer survivor, high school grad, college grad, nursing degree, friend reunion, new mom’s first trip after baby, birthdays and anniversaries, etc…) and I want to make the trips special. And after hearing you talk about the Steakhouse and the Chef’s Table, I know these experiences will really help make the cruises special.

Thanks for all you do and for the information!

Best Wishes,
Angela

John Says:
Hello Angela

The Chef’s Table is definitely popular today. I can confirm that this will be a feature on your Carnival Magic and I will be able to take bookings etc in April. I hope I am onboard when you and your group sail as you have so much to celebrate that I would love to be able to do something special for you all. Let’s stay in touch here on the blog thingy and there will be much more about our new flag ship here on the blog thingy very soon.

Best wishes to you all
John

Penn State Helen Asked:
John Please Reply

Pretty sure I am going to get loads of people on my back for saying this but I don’t care. If you are as sad as you say you are leaving your wife and daughter behind, why leave.

If not then I hope that when you are back as a Cruise Director that your blogs will be more informative for us cruisers and less about your personal problems.

Just my opinion
Helen

John Says:
Hello Penn State Helen

Thanks for taking the time to write and I know sometimes I do go on a bit about how much I miss my family. However, I am quite an emotional person and sometimes it is nice to be able to put those emotions in writing and share them with someone. I hope you are enjoying the blog more now I am back on a ship.

Best wishes
John

Lynn in VA Asked:
Hi John, Please Reply.

On your April 20, 2010 blog you helped out a guest having problems with the Barclay card. We are having the same problem, once they switched from Sea Miles to Fun Points we had over 71,000 points, they said we had 17,000. I’ve called; e-mailed and mailed letters to them (they did not respond to the e-mail or letter and when I spoke with them they said they were right but wouldn’t let me speak to anyone who actually looked at our account). Anyway we have all our bills showing all the points we’ve earned, so we know our numbers are right. Can you please help (we’ve been trying to get this resolved since January).

Enjoy the rest of your vacation!

Had a great time on the Carnival Dream in April (loved the pasta bar and the comedy club). Looking forward to Carnival cruise #17 on the Carnival Glory in Sept.)!

Thanks,
Lynn

John Says:
Hello Lynn

I am very glad to read that you had a wonderful time on your Carnival Dream. I know there were some problems with the switch over to the system and I will make sure that someone contacts you. I apologize that the customer service has not been as good as it should be and I will make sure that you get some answers as quick as possible. Thanks for the kind words and please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.

Best wishes
John

Dave Carson Asked:
Greetings John – – Please Reply

You may recall that I contacted you via your blog regarding the failure of CCL to credit my onboard account for an “early-saver rate” price drop on our October 3 2009 sailing of Carnival Dream. When we returned home we read on your blog of a number of others who had a similar problem. Carnival stated that those experiencing it should resubmit the appropriate online form and state the circumstances for the necessity of the resubmission. I did as directed but still had no reply from Miami. As you may recall, I was quite frustrated. You wrote me a thoughtful reply reassuring me that you would forward my concerns to the home office and asked me to let you know how things worked out.

Well, John there are too many details for the blog but let me tell you I received the best of service from Clara Lopez, a supervisor in the Miami office. My situation was complex because Miami had no documentation to back up my online filing of the required form. But Clara and I worked together on this and she took the ball and interceded on my behalf. John, she went far beyond that which was reasonably required of her and this resulted in the appropriate OBC being applied to our son’s cruise (with his daughters) on the August 22 sailing of Carnival Pride.

So now I am no longer a frustrated Carnival cruiser who was about to drop CCL in the dumpster. My wife and I are happy campers (or should I say cruisers?). Before the day is over I will book another Carnival cruise and start working on a family cruise. And all this was made possible by you & your blog plus Clara Lopez, a wonderful lady and a great asset to Carnival. I hope that you’ll let top management know about Clara and perhaps you can send her a copy of this note. A big “Thank You!” to you John, and to Clara, and all the other Carnival employees who make Carnival a truly great cruise line.

~ Dave Carson

John Says:
Hello Dave Carson

What a fantastic way to end this Q & A session on and if I may dare to say proof positive that me helping people here on the blog is truly worth it despite what some think. I remain at your service and I hope it will not be too long before we see you onboard one of our fun for all ships again. I will also make sure that Clara sees your words of praise.

Best wishes
John

And that’s all for today.

The first people outside of the people who actually build a new ship and the people who work for the line to discover all about her are of course the lucky sods of the travel press. Recently our man in London and Cunard’s President Peter Shanks escorted a group of the world’s travel press inside the Queen Elizabeth. Here then is what happened and what they saw. The video is hosted as always by the handsome and hard hat wearing Alistair Greener.

Great video as always….they really do video well on the Cunard blog don’t they? I can’t wait to see the ship but I am still all in a quandary about whether to go or not. While I go get rid of last night’s dinner……why don’t you have a look at what the guests are eating this Tuesday night.

Proscuitto Ruffles
A Study in Sushi
Smoked Chicken Quesadilla
French onion soup
Black Bean Soup
Chilled Cucumber and Dill
Chopped Handpicked Field Greens
Caesar Salad
Penne Mariscos
Grilled fillet of Salmon
Free Range Spring Chicken Sicilian Style
Jerked Pork Loin
Beef Short Ribs
Baked Herb Polenta
ALTERNATE
Black Tiger Shrimps
Fresh Fruit Cocktail
Broiled Fillet Of Snapper
Grilled Breast of Corn Fed Chicken
Grilled Flat Iron Steak
Baked Idaho Potatoes, French fries or Steamed White Rice
Assorted Steamed Vegetables
SPA
Spinach & Corn Timbale
Vine Ripened Tomatoes on Lettuce
Broiled Supreme of Free Range Chicken
Dinner Dessert Menu 3
Diet Lemon Cake – Spa
Strawberry Cheese Cake
Warm Figs, Date & Cinnamon Cake
Fresh Fruit Plate
Warm Chocolate Melting Cake

I love the short ribs! What would you have?

Talking of food ……..I mentioned yesterday that the hamburger was not popular here on the Carnival Splendor and that the burrito bar and Mongolian wok were outshining the poor old McCarnival burger. I was then contacted by my mate Host Mach from Cruise Critic who told me a thread had appeared on the board thingies stating that I had said the burgers were going to be removed from our Lido menu. I promise and assure you that they are not and I apologize if I misled you there. Carnival is more likely to get rid of me before they do the hamburger.

Occasionally I will be sharing the more unusual comments guest make here on the Carnival Splendor ……………………like this one.

Guest: Mrs. ______ Ref: ______-
Cabin: ________ Booking#: __________ Added-Changed: 08/09/10 – 08/09/10

C  – ASKED FOR THE COAT HANGERS TO BE REMOVED FROM HER CABIN
Miss_________ asked that all the coat hangers be removed because she says she’s phobic about the way hangers sound when you put them in the closet and with the ship moving.

Housekeeping informed.

This is one of the more unusual phobias I have heard of. I guess we all have them. Spiders, heights, the French and climbing walls………..but coat hangers? Anyway, they have been removed but hold on……..because the story is not over just yet.  Here’s an e-mail regarding the same guest:

Guest: Mrs.________ Ref: ________-
Cabin: ——— Booking#: ———– Added-Changed: 08/09/10 – 08/09/10

C  – ASKED NOT TO HAVE TOWEL ANIMALS

Guest came to the desk saying that she had returned from dinner to find a towel animal on her bed. Guest said that this had scared her when opened the door and does not want them.

Housekeeping asked not to make them and confirmed they will not.

Yep, those towel swans can be damn scary. Seriously though, I mustn’t make fun of her because obviously she has some issues that we (me) need to respect. I called Miss Coathanger in her cabin and I promise you …………promise you this is how the call went.

Miss Coathanger – Umm….. hello (she sounded upset)

Me – Hello Miss______. It’s John, the cruise director here……..are you ok?………..You sound upset.

Miss Coathanger – Yes, I’m fine………..the phone rang really loudly and scared me.

Anyway, I apologized for that and called to make sure she was OK. She said she was having a great time but didn’t like the “crowds.” I gave her some suggestions of areas on the ship where she may find some peace and quiet which I think she appreciated a lot. She is traveling with her sister and hopefully now the coat hangers have been removed and the swans, elephants and monkeys have been thrown in the linen basket she will be OK. I will keep a quiet eye on her. I hope she isn’t startled when we leave port and the captain sounds the ship’s horn……she may never recover.

Over the next few weeks I will be introducing you to some of the people who I will be working alongside here on the Carnival Splendor. And we start with a lady whom I am very proud of. She worked with me during the start up of the Carnival Splendor and has since been promoted to Housekeeping Manager, one of only two females in the entire fleet. So……….let’s meet Linda.

1. Where are you from? All the way from Romania, Brasov city; a beautiful town located at the foothills of the Carpathian mountain range. The total population of Brasov is 284,000 people. In 2005, the Braşov metropolitan area was formed. With its surrounding localities, Braşov has around 400,000 inhabitants.

2. Please tell us about your journey so far at Carnival Cruise Lines. When and what did you start as and how did you get to be Housekeeping Manager? I joined CCL as a Hotel Stewardess on January 27, 2001 on board the Carnival Imagination. During my second contract on board the Carnival Pride I was part of the start-up team and was promoted to a Stateroom Stewardess. As a Stateroom Stewardess I did 6 start-ups: Carnival Pride, Carnival Legend, Carnival Glory, Carnival Valor, Carnival Miracle and Carnival Liberty taking care of the suite cabins and looking after VIP’s, very memorable and enjoyable experiences. On board the Carnival Liberty I start my carrier in management as a Management Trainee, on April 9, 2006. Following this, I went to start-up another new ship, the Carnival Freedom where I was promoted as Assistant Housekeeping Manager II stripes. My last start-up for a new ship was the Carnival Splendor were I was promoted as Senior Assistant Housekeeping Manager. A few months after being promoted, I had the opportunity to be Acting Housekeeping Manager for 10 weeks covering Rudy Wright – Housekeeping Manager while he was on vacation. Rudy Wright was a very good trainer and at the same time a wonderful mentor. On April 2nd 2010 at a management get-together, Housekeeping Manager Rudy Wright along with Hotel Director Duncan Puttock took the opportunity to announce my promotion as a Housekeeping Manager. A very memorable and important moment in my life.

3. Your family must be very proud of you. Do you have a big family at home? Yes, they are very proud. I have an elder brother, who works for Carnival as well, as an Assistant Housekeeping Manager. I also have a younger sister, mother and the youngest member in our family: my nephew who brings joys to every moment in our life.

4. So, let’s talk about a day at sea on the Carnival Splendor. What will a typical day mean for you as House Keeping Manager? A day at sea…I start early in the morning with my routine inspection on the open decks as most of our Guests are spend their time and many activities take place in this area. Furthermore I’m present in the area to ensure everything is well organized in a timely manner. Coming down to the crew area and main laundry, following my run in the public areas and passing the stateroom corridors to ensure quality control. During the evening, I pass once again all the areas finishing up with public lounges. In between I take a few minutes of my time to met our VIP’s.

5. How many crew are in your department and how many different countries do they come from? I look after a total of 220 crew members in the housekeeping department and 19 crew members working in the main laundry, they are all come from 21 different countries.

6.What’s your favorite guest cabin on this ship. What’s the number and why is it the one you like best? My favorite guest cabin on board the ship has always been the suite located on deck 7 – Empress deck.  The number 7 is my favorite, taking into consideration that I was born prematurely at 7 months and in the month of July. I prefer working in a team, but from time to time I need space and privacy and also enjoy a little solitude. I also like to display my knowledge in public therefore my favorite number is 7. Number 7 is from a root word meaning to be complete or full.

7.What is the most challenging part of your job. The most challenging part of my job would adhering to all the rules and regulations, understanding my employees’ needs and using the available resources to the best of my ability in order to achieve the final product which is guest satisfaction. To keep the crewmembers under my supervision motivated and happy to get the best out of them to ensure the job is done as per the standards required. I feel at the end of the day the crew is an asset to the company and the reason behind our company’s success.

8. And what do you like best? I love to see the crewmembers happy and the guest satisfied with the service provided. I like to chat with guests and to know that they had a memorable experience on board the ship.  It is a little touch which gives me motivation to move on.

9. How do you like to relax? I love to walk the open decks early morning and to watch the ocean, to read and listen to music, to walk the Promenade deck on sea days and see people happy and having fun. I also enjoy inviting people over for a home cooked meal by myself.

10. And finally what is your favorite towel animal? I like all of them… one of the most surprising things I really enjoyed making for my guests when I was a stateroom stewardess was “a man laying on the bed” — they loved it! But my favorite animal it is the monkey hanging from the ceiling as it catches the guest by surprise since they usually expect to see a towel animal on the bed.

Thank you Linda and many congratulations on your promotion. By the way, I asked Linda if she has ever been asked to remove the coat hangers from the closet before or been told not to make the towel animals……………it should come as no surprise that until this cruise…………..she has not.

Well, as I mentioned yesterday the Welcome Aboard show sets the scene and I certainly met some great characters that first night.

Firstly, meet Mr. Jones

Mr. Jones is here celebrating 30 years of marriage to his wife Bernice. Both the Joneses are school teachers and I thanked them for all their hard work and reiterated that it is my humble opinion that school teachers should be paid much, much more than they are. Then Mr. Jones sang the song “Feelings” to his wife and afterwards brought the house down by saying “If that don’t get me some action tonight, nothing will.”  This morning at my fun ashore fun onboard thingy I asked Mr. Jones if it had worked……….it did!

Now meet five-year-old Nicole.

Nicole is from Los Angeles and is here because her grandfather is visiting from Hong Kong and they are all taking a cruise together.

So let’s meet the grandfather…………..here he is. …………it’s Mr. Wong.

What a great guy Mr. Wong is and as soon as he came on stage I knew he would be a star. That’s because of his smile and he was so cute that I couldn’t help but give his cheeks a loving pinch. This became a bit of a running gag throughout the show and since then he has become inundated with requests to have his cheeks squeezed. I saw him at the Captain’s Celebration and he told me he was loving being famous. That’s what it’s all about.

Oh, talking of the Captain’s Celebration………I had seen that the presentation of the captain and senior officers was being done in the lobby. I really didn’t like that as there was lots of noise and less than 10% of the guests got to see it. So, I moved it to before the main show. This meant 1000 guests got to see it and actually listened to what the Captain had to say.

Oh no………….it’s time to talk about ………….vegetabalists.

Guest: Mrs ———–Ref: ________
Cabin: ____Booking#: ______Added-Changed: 10/08/10 – 10/08/10

NOT ENOUGH VEGETARIAN OPTIONS AT DINNER

Mrs____ called the GSD from her stateroom and was saying that compared to other cruise lines there were no vegetarian options at dinner. Mrs _____ was very upset and said that she only had fruit for dinner last night as there was nothing else. GSA asked maitre D to contact guest.

Now I don’t believe for a moment that we have less vegetarian options than other cruise lines. Lunch is full of them and as for dinner………………..well……………let’s have a look.

I respect my vegatablist friends but as a meat eater I guess I just don’t understand how anyone can say no to a nice piece of prime rib. And yet meat eating, like every burning gasoline, driving SUV’s and of course smoking is under attack like never before. I was talking about this with one of the entertainment staff here on the Carnival Splendor who is a weed eater and she told me that I wouldn’t be so quick to eat meat if I spent some time “meeting my meat”…. yep…… meeting my meat……that’s what she said. I told her bollocks. Because when I was growing up, I made friends with the cow that lived in the field behind our garden and knowing Colin and feeding him bits of grass never put me off the Sunday roast.

That’s what I don’t understand about vegetarianism………….if animals weren’t meant to be eaten ……………………… why are they made out of meat?

However, let us not dwell on such things. Let us instead rejoice at the fact that meat exists. Steak may be bad for you. But it’s brilliant too. You may not want it. But would you want to live in a world where you never had the choice in the first place? I know I wouldn’t.

Goodnight
Your friend
John

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.