Herbal Strife

September 22, 2010 -

John Heald

Want to share two stories with you which show the drastic differences between some of the people you meet on a cruise ship. Let’s start with the good. The captain and I met a brilliant couple at the captain’s celebration on elegant night. We were standing outside of the Red Carpet Dance Club when a man in his late seventies possibly early eighties shook our hands and then introduced us to a beautiful young who looked like she was in her late twenties.

She was stunning in a supermodel kind of way. “This is Chantelle,” he said and honestly I was milliseconds away from saying “Is she your granddaughter?” when thank the Lord he continued “We are on our honeymoon.” Now the obvious reaction to this is to say “Are you kidding me?” and while neither the captain or I said this I know…….I absolutely know……..both our faces painted an obvious picture of “You lucky sod, you must be worth a fortune.”

They were both very nice people and after they left the captain and I both shook our heads in disbelief both knowing what the other one was thinking. But later that night I started second guessing myself. I mean……supposing he was as poor as soap seller in Paris. We can all work out why wealthy men can bag gorgeous women even when they have a face like a welder’s workbench but maybe this couple was different. I had a quick look at the manifest to see what stateroom they were in………it was one of the penthouses…………which proves just as I said ………….lucky sod must be loaded.

Then there was this incident.

Guest: Mr ———–Ref: 842023049A
Cabin: ——— Added-Changed: 09/19/10 – 09/19/10


Floor supervisor reported that guests in cabin ——- refused to attend boat drill and remained in their cabin. Guests were advised that they must attend and then guest started screaming and swearing with bad language and pushed ______ out of the cabin and slammed door. Security informed.

So, let’s get this straight shall we. Not only did this guest not want his wife and son to know how to save their lives in a real emergency but he also physically shoved the cabin supervisor from the entrance of the cabin into the hallway. Obviously, 99% of the guests go but that’s 1% who doesn’t and I bet you it’s the same on every ship sailing with passengers…..and you know what…. .. I blame the airlines.

How often have you been on a plane and looked across the aisle to see people reading, talking, sleeping and farting while paying absolutely bugger all attention to the flight attendant. And they do this because most of us think it’s a complete waste of time. In the whole history of civil aviation, I don’t think one single life has been saved by a lifejacket or from having your tray table in the upright position. These are the people who think don’t bother telling us anything because either the plane is going to reach its destination, or it is going to plunge into a mountain at 500 mph and explode into a million pieces. Either way, you will not be needing a “whistle for attracting attention.” However, me……well I always pay attention and listen because even though I know that if the plane crashes that there will be bits of fried senior cruise director scattered over the runway…….I respect that the flight attendants are doing their job…..and trying to at least give us a tiny chance of survival.

Now, let’s move onto the second part of the story, the bit where this guest shoved the crewmember. Can you imagine if we did this to the airline staff what would happen? Even asking them why we have to pay a billion dollars for a Diet Coke we risk being accused of air rage and thrown off the plane. It’s the same story at the check-in desk. Or at a car hire desk. Or at Wal-Mart. It’s the same story everywhere. React and you will be thrown out, by a security guard and before you know it you’re lying on the sidewalk with a broken spleen. I still don’t know what will happen to this guest but if it were up to me ……..he would be disembarked in Puerto Vallarta and made to drink three gallons of un-purified Mexican water, locked in a room and given one Post It note……… to use as toilet paper.

Time for today’s Q and A…..let’s get on with it.

Stacy Asked:
Dear John (Please Reply):

My future husband and I will be sailing on the Legend on October 24th for our Honeymoon. I have grown up “cruising” and my fiancé’ has never been on a cruise. In fact, he’s never really been on a vacation at all. I want for him to love cruising and I think that the Legend’s Western itinerary will woo him! We have an obstructed balcony booked (5236), and I’m starting to get really excited! We have been planning this wedding and honeymoon for a year now, and I want it to be very special. I showed him your blog, which I have been following for years, and now I’ve caught him reading it on more than one occasion! I think it’s one of the reasons he decided we should cruise for our honeymoon. He admitted that he thinks you are really funny! Would it be possible to send him a note on our cruise? I know that it would make him feel very special.

Thanks again for all you do.

John Says:
Hello Stacy

Thanks for the great posting which shows the obvious love you have for your new husband and how excited you are about your honeymoon cruise. I know the crew of the Carnival Legend will make sure it is your best cruise ever and that it gives you the perfect start to your married life. I will ask the CD to send you both a little something. Have a wonderfully happy wedding day and a brilliant honeymoon cruise.

Best wishes to you both

Kerri Asked:
Hello John, (Please reply at your leisure)

I hope all is well and I know you are getting excited about the impending visit from your girls. Do you have a countdown clock like most of us do when you are waiting to see them again? I hope so. Mine is slowly ticking off the days until we take out first ever family vacation that my husband will be able to attend. He is a charter/commercial fisherman and works the worst hours 11 months out of the year. Seeing he is on the water most of his waking hours, a cruise vacation is not his “idea” of a good time BUT – he hates snow and we vacation when the boat is in dry-dock so our choices are limited. Cruising is like Crack for me so I am super excited for this chance to be together as a family.

For the first time in 11 years, we will all vacation together aboard the Carnival Dream on January 22nd. We will be celebrating my birthday and our anniversary on this cruise and I pray for warm sunny weather and calm seas throughout. And, a little luck in the casino would be a plus.

I would like to know who our cruise director will be. Any chance you could get your sticky little fingers on a CD schedule for 2011?

See I have no sob story, I do not want a ship on stick, I have no special dining requests other than NEVER being stuck at a table beside the winch that never stops whining about being stuck in the ghetto if the dining room AGAIN. Do you know how incredibly hard it is not to be ugly to another guest when they are being snotty, rude and obnoxious? I know it is part of your job to listen to silly complaints but I saw it nowhere in my cruise contract that said I couldn’t wish that a waiter would trip and dump a tray of beet soup on some crabby, hish-and-mighty snot of a woman.

See John, this is my cruise ship fantasy – To see all these terribly pessimistic, negative people get exactly what they deserve. See I know how fortunate and blessed I am to be able to vacation with my family.

Thank you for this blog, thank you for making reservations and sending gifts, thank you for recognizing that some of us work very hard. Thank you for recognizing that Cancer happens and people like to have an outlet such as you to express their love and devotion because that is the way they shout it to the world. So as long as you are doing this blog thingy, I will let you be you and do as you see fit to make someone smile, feel special or at minimum not be stuck by the evil booth monitor in the MDR.

Keep up the fantastic work John. Some of us happy people will be here to support you as long as you continue.

John Says:
Hello Kerri

Well the girls are here and I am enjoying every minute with them, thanks so much for asking. I can imagine how hard your husband must work and how much you miss him when he is away from you and we are honoured that despite spending most of his life on the water that he has d hard earned vacation. We have not yet completed the CD schedule for 2011 although I think it’s a good bet that the CD on your Carnival Dream cruise will be the fabulous Butch Begovitch. Now, what I can tell you is that you need to send me a post via the blog thingy a month before you sail so that I can send you both a little something. Yes……..I know that you didn’t ask for anything but I really would like to send something so please send in your details. Thanks again for all the kind words. I wish your husband calm seas and loads of fish.

Best wishes

ShaRee Hirschi Asked:
*Please Reply*


I so thoroughly enjoy reading your witty blog. Anyone who writes, “British” pissed apocalyptic quantities of oil into the ocean” is ok in my book. ?

My husband and our 3 kids will be on The Splendor September 26 with my cousin, her husband and 2 kids. It is everyone’s first cruise except me, if you count the Mexican Baja with Carnival 10 years ago. We are all in our 30’s with kids age 7-12 and are very excited about this cruise and especially happy you are the CD.

I have a few questions. What are the formal nights and are children allowed in the Steakhouse?

Also, I am writing to ask a huge favor. My baby (well he used to be), Trey turns 8 on October 2nd. That is our last full day at sea. I don’t know what to do to make that day special (other than take him on a flippin’ cruise). Is there anything you can do to help me? He is in cabin 6338 with me.

We have early dining for the 9 of us, cabins 6338, 6317, 6315. Is there a way to request a dining table with a view? I don’t know what is good or even available. What do you recommend and what are our options?

Can’t wait to meet you,
ShaRee Hirschi

John Says:
Hello ShaRee Hirschi

Thanks mate, glad you are enjoying the blogs. I realize that sometimes my humour (spelt correctly) is a little ummmm….British. Anyway, the elegant nights are on Monday and Friday and yes indeed, children are allowed in the Steakhouse. Funny you should ask because I will be writing about this in a moment. Please make sure that on the Friday morning you write me a little birthday wish for your son and leave it at the guest services desk and I will read it out live on the TVs and the big screen on Lido. He will see and hear his name and I will also send him a birthday present as well. I will ask the maitre d to do his best to assist you with a table as well. I will see you all very soon.

Best wishes

Danny Stout Asked:
John, please reply…

Dearest John,

Thank you so much for helping to make last year’s cruise to the Western Caribbean on the Liberty a wonderful experience. The table you helped arrange for my partner and I added to an amazing experience for our second cruise. We had such an amazing time we are bringing my nephew on the same exact cruise this coming year. He’s quite excited, and honoured (spelt incorrectly 🙂 that we are bringing him. I can’t wait to see him in Grand Cayman swimming with the Sting Rays.

I wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed what Carnival has done for the tours in Jamaica. After reading about some experiences there, I was a bit worried. However, it was an amazing experience. We did the plantation, shopping and Dunn’s river falls tour and had a great and amazing time. You can tell the care with which Carnival thought out the guest experience and it was very much worth it. Even though I feel more comfortable with the island now, we will be using the carnival tours there again. Thank you and your Carnival family for that experience.

Now, about my question. What can I recommend for my nephew on the Carnival Liberty? He’ll be 14 when we sail, by just four days. We sail on January 29th and he will have turned 14 on the 25th. Do you think Camp Carnival is good for kids his age? What kind of activities do they have? You see, we need something to occupy him while we go contribute to the casino, and maybe get some “quality time” together.

The only thing we will be missing is Butch. He was an amazing CD, and while he makes and awful ugly Dolly Parton, the energy he gave off was fabulous. Hopefully the next person lined up will be just as brilliant.

Take care John, and thank you for being you, even if you use the incorrect spelling of words occasionally. 🙂


John Says:
Hello Danny

It’s my pleasure to help people whenever I can and it’s always good to know that it is appreciated and that things worked out. I totally understand that Jamaica is not everyone’s cup of tea but as I have made no secret here, I love it and encourage everyone to visit the island at least once. It is full of flavour (spelt correctly) and our shore excursion packages truly show you the real island and the people that live there. Dunn’s River Falls and Mystic Mountain are amazing places to see and there is so much to do and to experience.

Your nephew will be able to go to Circle C which is our club for 12 – 14 year old kids or young teens or young adults or whatever they are called these days…….by the way, when did it become incorrect to call a 14 year old a kid? Anyway, he will love the activities there and for sure he will make many, many new friends leaving you both plenty of “you” time as well. Why not drop me a post a month or so before you sail so I can send him something. As for Butch being an ugly Dolly Parton……I promise you he is an Adonis compared to my fat ugly body clothed in a dress. Sometimes there just isn’t enough vomit in the world. Thanks again for taking the time to write and my best wishes to you all.


Brady Asked:
John Please Reply (if you want)

John, I am a long time Blog Stalker and have submitted comments very few times, but I think enough is enough.

Never let someone make you feel bad for the actions of someone else. I tell my wife all the time (when she is mad at me) I can’t make her feel a certain way. You choose to be mad or choose not to be. It is all in how you decide to react (she didn’t buy it either). Be proud of being British and kindly smile at those types of people and move on. There are alot of Tofu eating beard types that would rather save a Mongolian Termite eating six-legged brown nosed three toed ant over the normal advancement of the human race. These guys are ready to throw the book at anyone they can blame. Just like that Brad Jolie character – he decided he would change his mind and agree on the death penalty for the BP executives. Really?!?!?

I have to say that I tune in every morning to read your blog and I am now one of your friends on Facebook. I brag on you everyday to my wife about how hard you have to work to satisfy the thousands of guests on board and the hundreds of thousands of bloggers that look forward to reading about your day.

I know people tell you everyday how great you are and I am sure you are getting tired of hearing it 🙂 . But you truly should continue being you and making everyone laugh. Your blog is never short on a good burst of laughter and laughter makes us all better.

Keep having fun and doing what it is that has made you so successful both at work and in life. People like you for a reason and I would take the hundreds of thousands of blog readers over two or three miserable people. If they don’t want to read about you being generous then stop reading. You have way more patience then most of us out here, that’s for sure.

We sailed with you a while back and I cannot remember if it was the Destiny out of San Juan or another one. The wife and I will be on the Elation in October so we will have to miss another opportunity to see you again.

By the way – we sailed on the Holiday and had a CD that liked to say “Hee Haw Haw”, who was that and is he still around?

Keep on doing what you do.

John Says:
Hello Brady

Let’s start with the sad news. Mr. He Haw Haw was none other than Dave Armor who was incomparable………and I mean incomparable. We lost him to cancer some years ago and he is much missed by everyone who knew him.

Now on a happier note I want to say thank you for those great words of support. It is puzzling to me that people only read the blog thingy to find something to say that they know will be hurtful and provocative……I just don’t get it. But they are a minority and that is the most important thing I have to remember and thanks to words like yours and the many others who take the time to write and tell me they enjoy our blog………well……..I will be OK.

Please if you have time can you let me know your cabin number for your Carnival Elation cruise as I would like to send you a little something? Thanks again and oh yes, please mark your post time sensitive.

Best wishes to you and your wife

sharecruises Asked:
Hi John, please respond….

You said (about disco on Splendor)

“And since we made the ships dance clubs non smoking the aroma of cigarette smoke has been replaced by the overbearing stench of hair gel”

Is this good news true?? Are the discos non smoking?

If so when did this come about??

I hope so. Specifically…Destiny, Imagination and Glory. *I am booked on them.
Thanks 🙂 Esty

John Says:
Hello Sharecruises

The dance club (I have to stop calling them discos) here on the Carnival Splendor is indeed smoke free. I checked with my colleagues and as I thought it was done specifically here on the Carnival Splendor to appease the Californian guests. The three ships you mentioned do allow smoking in the dance clubs. Please let me know if you need anything else

Best wishes

Marty Paul Asked:
Hi John! (Please reply),

Just a quick note to say hi from the “new” Mr. & Mrs. Paul, as Jeanne & I were recently married in Niagara Falls, Canada on July 30th. By the way, I found the Canadian version of the “Bridge of Sighs” in Venice, it’s called the “Kissing Rock” (I’ll send a photo of it later).

On our whirlwind “Crossing Both Borders Tour 2010″ in July, we cruised to Mexico on the Carnival Ecstasy (an outstanding cruise by the way and the ship looks “brilliant”, to borrow a word from you) and then a week later, crossed the northern border into Niagara Falls, Canada for our wedding!

So catching up with the “bloggy thingy”, Cruise Critic & the Carnival web-site. Needless to say, I share your enthusiasm on the Red Frog pub on the Carnival Magic (I entered my coaster slogan). Awesome that Carnival will have a specialty brew called Thirsty Frog Red (I love red ale by the way). So, with the spectacular news, just 3 quick questions;

1. The Red Frog has an outdoor seating area. May I be so bold as to ask if cigars will be allowed there (sorry, didn’t mean to open up that “can of worms” again!)

2. Can you (or Carnival) tell us who brews the Thirsty Frog Red for Carnival?

3. And, will Thirsty Frog Red be available at my local grocery store?

Thanks in advance and have to go, as Jeanne & I are off to see Gordon Lightfoot tonight in downtown Houston, and of course, my favorite (spelt correctly) song of his is “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”.

Re the 2 small-minded nuts who linked you to the BP oil spill because you’re British and complained about the letter from David battling cancer…I have just 4 words in the form of a question for them; “ARE YOU KIDDING ME”??

Best wishes from Houston-Galveston, Texas…home of our Carnival Magic AND the Red Frog Pub!!

Marty & Jeanne Paul

John Says:
Hello Marty and Jeanne Paul

Many congratulations on your marriage. The spot sounds beautiful and all of us here on the blog thingy wish you many happy years together. Now, let’s answer your questions. The one thing I can definitely tell you is that the RedFrog will be no smoking. Cigars will be smoked on The Lanai as they are on your Carnival Dream. I read a review on the blog thingy yesterday that said the area was not comfortable enough and the writer was correct. Cigars are supposed to be smoked in comfortable chairs in a laid back atmosphere so while The Lanai is a perfect area to smoke without having people sneer at you for doing so, we do need to upgrade the furniture there and I am going to be working on that for both your Carnival Magic and Carnival Dream.

I know that when we decided to have our own signature beer that many were tested by the top beards at Carnival. The end result was that apart from everyone having to take taxis home and two male vice presidents telling Gerry Cahill “I Love you man” the winner was chosen. Now as to who is brewing it I don’t know if it will be available outside of a Carnival ship but I promise I will find out as soon as I can and post it here. There has been lots of excitement about the Red frog Pub and we have to get this right as expectations are high. And so over the next few months I will be working with various beards to make sure we do. Once again, many congratulations and stay tuned for more Red Frog information.

Best wishes to you both

William Jordan Asked:
Hello John –

Such a fun blog.

I have a question about the carry on one bottle of wine per customer on Carnival. Is that policy still valid?

The other question concerns how to care for the bottle on board the ship. My wife and I are thinking of bringing aboard a bottle of our fav champagne each. I understand there are corkage fees and have no problem with that at all. What I want to know is — can we bring our bottles to the dining room before dinner and have them stored and chilled there? Or do I need to keep them chilled in our cabin and bring a bottle with me to dinner?

If the staff will store and chill the bottles who should I give them to? When should I turn them over? And what would be an appropriate gratuity for their safe keeping?

If it is important to know the ships to answer, the cruises we have booked are the Fascination 5 Night Bahamas and Key West, and the Valor 7 Night Western Caribbean.

Thanks again — your blog is a highlight of my day lately.

John Says:
Hello William Jordan

That’s great to hear and I hope you continue to enjoy the blog thingy each day. You are indeed allowed to bring a bottle of champagne and I would suggest you just give it to your waiter the night before you wish to drink it and he or she will store and chill it for you. This is something that happens a lot so please don’t be worried about asking. Your gratuities are already taken of your Sail & Sign card so there is no need to tip extra, really there isn’t. If you wish to though, well whatever you decide will be very generous indeed. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

Best wishes to you both

Cornacopia Asked:

Cruise Critic readers voted Carnival’s ice tea the worst in the cruise business with everyone complaining that the aftertaste was disgusting. RCI was voted the best. I sent the link of the thread to your president Cahill and surprise surprise I have not had any reply yet you would think that he would sit and take notice of this as it is very important if he wants to be the president of a company that has the worst ice tea voted by cc readers who sail on his ships all the time.

John Says:
Hello Cornacopia

Goodness that was a long sentence. Does your computer not have any commas or periods?

I am not an ice tea drinker so I cannot comment on this except to say I will pass your thoughts onto someone in our food and beverage department. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if other cruise lines, including the Besticeteaintheworld of the Seas, use the same mix as we do. Thanks for letting me know your thoughts.

Best wishes

The Bears – Princess Barb of the Evil Krewe Asked:

Hi John,

I have already toured the http://www.CarnivalMagic.com and there seems to be a problem with the contest for the Red Frog Pub…. no old people can submit an entry (of course this does not include me since I was born after 1950). Is this contest limited only to people born after 1950. There are some people out here that still like to have fun that are on Social Security or will be soon. LOL Please could you have those men and women (?) with beards take a look into that?

Looking forward to cruising hopefully, with you on that beautiful Magic ship.
Love and Hugs to Heidi and Kye!

John Says:
Hello The Bears – Princess Barb of the Evil Krewe

Ummmm……..not sure I understand this? Are you telling me that the bit where you have to fill in your date of birth only went to 1950? If so, that is an error for sure and a big one at that. Please accept my apologies and I will make sure this is corrected for all future contests. I know you and I know how spirited you are. Sorry again and I hope to see you soon.

Best wishes

That’s all for today and please keep the comments coming.

That was an interesting question about the steakhouse and if guests can bring children. Well the answer is yes of course they can. I want to say this straight away because I was sent this posting today by one of the 344 Stephanies. It was posted today but I want to jump this to the front of the queue so I don’t spend the next few weeks answering multiple questions about it as we did power strips, hamburgers and dancing in the dining rooms.

Long Tall Sally:

You have been heaping scorn on us Cruise Critic people because we hate the dining room dances and one day this will come back to haunt you for sure. Here is another poll which you may choose to scorn again but if you were any kind of professional you would see many oppose children being allowed in the steakhouses. THEY RUIN IT!

Read this http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1277431


John Says:
Hello Long Tall Sally

Let’s get one thing as clear as a naked man in Saran wrap……..I have never once scorned anyone on Cruise Critic and many of the blog readers are CC members as well and I appreciate their input always. Anyway, thanks for the link and while I understand your opinion on this I don’t see how we could possibly call ourselves a family cruise line (which we are proud to do) and not allow children in. How could we say to one of the many multi-generational families we have on our ships that two people celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary cannot do so in the Steakhouse because their grandchildren are not allowed? If a kid is misbehaving then it is down to good parenting to take care of this but outside of that and maybe the consideration that there is no children’s menu……..I think I can safely say that we intend to carry on as is and allow children to dine in our fantastic steakhouses. I wonder though Sally……..have you actually ever eaten there…….just curious?

OK, I need a break and I expect after that…….and I expect you do to, so let’s have a look at this. Each week I encourage a man to be more romantic and this week he is quite the character. Have a look.

I wonder if she will take his last name……….he has done the dance four times already this cruise and the audience loves him.

We had awful weather yesterday as tropical storm Georginabastard poured rain upon us and gave us dark skies. But the mood on the ship was great and I had every seat taken at my marriage show. I met Mr. and Mrs. Shapiro who got married in 1939 which for the mathematically challenged means they have been married for 71 years…………and here they are

We are here in PV today and found a surprise waiting for us…….the Marinated of the Seas ……..and the sod had pinched our pier. Anyway, thank goodness the weather is nice because these guests deserve it after the first 2 days of gloom.

So….let me ask you a question. What’s the most offensive thing you could possibly do on a cruise ship? Run up and down the promenade naked shouting “Give it to me baby,” or eat a chocolate melting cake for dinner?

Well, it seems that very soon it will be the latter because eating healthily is now the law, and anyone who disobeys is a demented suicidal idiot.

Just last night, Heidi, Kye and I were sitting on Lido Deck enjoying a bit of peace and quiet at the alternative dining. On my plate I had some short ribs, loads of something called broccoli and a dollop of horseradish sauce. That’s it….I had ignored the pasta, the bread and every dessert…..it was me, my family and my low carb dinner. Then out of nowhere pounced an assassin. Honestly, I never saw her coming but there she was, standing right next to me…….a lady in her fifties ……… wearing an oversized badge that said “I lost 40 pounds, ask me how” ……. yep ………… I was about to be Herbal-lifed. There were no niceties, she was on a mission so with the usual “Sorry to bother you” which was bollocks because she wasn’t sorry to bother me……and proceeded to tell me….in front of my wife and daughter …….during our dinner…..that I was fat bastard.

At first I stood and listened. And then I thought, hang on, it’s MY bloody throat and I can stuff as much salt down it as I like. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not disputing whether these anti-pie, tea drinking people have the potential to help you lose weight. I’m sure they do. But what kind of person can just walk up uninvited to a complete stranger and tell them he’s fat?

Listen, obviously I have to be careful here because we value everyone’s business but on a personal note I think what she did was a despicable thing. Some may say that being the CD makes it OK for things like this to happen and maybe they are correct. But not in front of my family and not while I am eating dinner. We had a group of Jehovah’s Witness on two weeks ago and they didn’t walk around the decks knocking on cabin doors trying telling guests to put down their copy of the Fun Times and pick up a copy of the Watchtower. They respected everyone and didn’t force their beliefs on anyone. That was not the case with this lady.

Besides, if the teas she has been drinking have turned into a predator who feels she is justified to say what she did to me and no doubt other extra medium guests…….well she can bugger off.

So I have decided to fight back. While I know I have to eat healthier for the sake of Kye and Heidi and of course myself………what I should do — but I can’t is encourage guests to gorge their way through every meal, every buffet and punish the ice cream machines so much they explode.

And to show commitment to the cause, I might even eat an entire suckling pig on stage tonight.

Your friend

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.