A Quicky Blog

February 28, 2011 -

John Heald

I have an hour to write you a quick blog and I am cheating a bit here because it’s 6:45am on Sunday morning and I am sitting here in the conference room……..in my underpants…….. (more…)

John Heald’s Nassau Update

February 28, 2011 -

Everett

Ryan – Day 4

February 25, 2011 -

Eric the Beard

Hey there John!

Well it’s our first port of call here on the Carnival Splendor! (cheers, whistles, shouts!!!) Welcome back to Mexico, Splendor! As I walked out on the open deck this morning I caught my first glimpse of Puerto Vallarta after such a long time away, the rolling green mountains, the birds flying from the shore over the ocean, and the sunlight gleaming off of the Wal-Mart marquee just outside the pier. I never thought I’d actually be happy to see that Wal-Mart again! Ha! The guests are thrilled to be getting off the ship today. Yes, it is truly amazing to be on board the ship; eating, drinking, playing games, and wallowing around in all the fun, but for a many of our passengers the vacation feeling becomes fully complete when we reach another country’s shore and get to explore an exotic coastline (beyond the Wal-Mart it does get a bit exotic, I promise!).

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Ryan – Day 3

February 24, 2011 -

Eric the Beard

Hi John!

It’s our second Sea Day on the beautiful Carnival Splendor and the ship has been a bustle of activity since early this morning. Everyone on board is very ready to reach our first port of call, Puerto Vallarta, but as Carnival Entertainment Hosts Amy, Michelle, Christy, and myself are well qualified to turn our guest’s restless energy into fun times to be had by all. We gave the sun worshipers their space on Lido Deck today and made the deck 5 Promenade lounges the main arteries of the ship.

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You Can Call Me Al

February 23, 2011 -

John Heald

When you stay in hotels as much as I have these past few years since I was anointed Brand Ambassador, certain things start to really get on your tits……….that’s a very British saying by the way and if I was talking about your tits I wouldn’t have used that word……….I would have used nerves instead of tits. But as they are my tits that I am talking about………I can say tits and nobody can say anything about it.

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That’s Not Funny…..Is It?

February 22, 2011 -

John Heald

OK, it’s time for me to come clean about something…………I’ve wanted to tell someone for the last month or so……… but I have been too embarrassed…..too ashamed to tell you ………. but I cannot take it anymore. And so today, Tuesday February 22, 2011 I openly confess to you all…………… (more…)

Looking Back In Splendor

February 21, 2011 -

John Heald

So on Saturday night I minced around the Promenade Deck on the Carnival Splendor travel agent function, shaking hands and being a brand ambassador thingy. I have to admit though I have never been much of a fan of parties. Maybe this comes from the fact that I was hardly ever invited to one when I was younger and if I managed to gate crash one…..well no bugger would speak to me. I would arrive at the party with dreams of meeting a girl……any girl……. who would want to have a bit of rumpy pumpy with me in the back seat of my Dad’s Ford Escort ……….reality was that I would leave alone………..and go for a kebab.

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Banter of the Seas

February 17, 2011 -

John Heald

Time to talk about a touchy subject………….cruise ship banter. First of all let’s define the word “banter” which the dictionary states is “to speak to or address in a witty and teasing manner.”

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Drugs, Ashes and More

February 15, 2011 -

John Heald

You may have see on this blog thingy and on Facebook these past few days that I have received lots of requests to help arrange the scattering of ashes at sea. These requests are always full of emotion and it is an honour for me to try and help. (more…)

The Splendor of San Francisco

February 14, 2011 -

John Heald

“These streets are my streets…………..punk.” I remember those words as if they were yesterday. My Dad and I religiously watched all the 70′s and 80′s cop shows from Ironside to Cannon, from Banacheck to McLeod and that one where Dick Van Dyke stars as a brilliant physician with an eye for a mystery, who regularly helps his thick as a brick son to crack murder cases ………… can’t remember the name of that one.

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Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.