I Left My Underpants in San Francisco

February 4, 2011 -

John Heald

I know I wasn’t going to write a blog today but I had to explain the decision that I made late last night. I tossed and turned in bed and tried counting sheep and bottoms but sleep avoided me as stray dogs avoid Korean restaurants.

I had spoken to Heidi and listened to her advice and had talked it over with the senior beards but yet the decision was mine and mine alone.

Eventually I came to my final answer and so I am here to tell you that I will leave the Carnival Freedom on Feb 12 and fly to San Francisco to join the Carnival Splendor for her sea trials and voyage to her home in Long Beach.

Now I know that those who had been looking forward to me being the cruise director for that cruise will be bitterly disappointed and I am so very sorry that I am letting you down. There are individual people I will apologise to personally and a group of my friends from Cruise Critic whose meet and greet I have arranged.

So why did I decide to do this? Well first of all the senior beards have asked me to host an event on the 19th which our travel agent friends have been invited to. There will also be some press interest for sure and I will be honoured to stand alongside our President Gerry Cahill who will attend. We look like Laurel and Hardy……….I am the fat one by the way.

These were all points worth considering but as always the Miami folks were very gracious in allowing me to decide if I would, having just completed 5 trans-Atlantic flights and two domestic flights in an 8-week period, be able to stomach 12 more hours of flying. But it was none of the above that brought me to my final decision. It was this e mail:

From: SPLENDOR HOTEL DIRECTOR
Sent: Thursday, February 03, 2011 12:21 PM
To: Heald, John (CCL)
Subject: John

The ship needs you to come. The crew needs to see you and you need to be part of our homecoming. It wouldn’t be right without you.

And that then was that. There are times when words and explanations are not needed ……………… hopefully that e-mail explains why I am leaving on the 12th.

Well there are other ramifications to all this and one of those was who would take over as cruise director here on the Carnival Freedom. The answer is Dan and rather than me tell you about him …………….here he is.

G’Day,

My name is Dan Govier and I joined Carnival in 2005 as a personal trainer but soon realized I belonged in entertainment. I became part of the entertainment staff in 2006 on the Carnival Sensation. I became an assistant cruise director in 2009 and am very excited to finally be given the opportunity to pursue my dream.

Back home I started my work life as a KFC boy and I was also a milk man. Then I got a bug to work in I.T. as a Network Administrator, I then bashed out few odd jobs from sheet metal work to electricians assistant. Eventually deciding manual trades was not my thing, I got a job at the snow fields in Australia (YES there is snow in Australia!). After that short foray in the cold I managed a 24 hour a day news stand except it was a really big store. I had a guard dog named Tara because we got held up by scary people all the time… But I digress, I decided knife point isn’t a nice place to be so I started work at an airport as a baggage handler and moving up through the ranks very quickly to assistant airport manager. A friend talked me into doing a personal training course, which I did for kicks! The company that certified me as a personal trainer said that I could interview for a job on cruise ships (Having never been on a cruise in my life and had only been on one plane ride at the age of 22) I said why not! And here I am!

As for hobbies, it’s surfing for sure (I really am just a surf bum but don’t tell anyone), and chilling out at the beach, reading and working out are all passions of mine.

My favorite port is an easy one, Cozumel hands down! It’s easy to get around, great food, amazing excursions and friendly locals!

I am super excited to be cruise director on the Carnival Freedom, and look forward to meeting all of you on board!

So the beards in Miami asked me to do something that I am not thrilled about. You see this will be Dan’s first time and I know that as funny and as personable as he is that he will do a brilliant job. But he needs me to watch over him for these 6 days and so that means that he will be the CD this coming 6-day cruise and I will help and guide him as best I can but bugger me……I also have to say that I cannot wait until your Carnival Magic where I can once again just be …… a plain old badly dressed, fat, simple large white bottomed cruise director.

So here is my new schedule.

FEBRUARY 12: FLY TO SAN FRANCISCO………IN SODDING COACH.

FEBRUARY 12: JOIN CARNIVAL SPLENDOR AT PIER 35

FEBRUARY 14: CARNIVAL SPLENDOR SEA TRILAS AND VOYAGE TO LONG BEACH

FEBRUARY 19: CARNIVAL SPLENDOR ARRIVES AT LONG BEACH CRUISE TERMINAL

FEBRUARY 19: HOST TRAVEL AGENT FUNCTION

FEBRUARY 2O: FLY TO MIAMI IN SODDING COACH

FEBRUARY 20 -24: MEETINGS IN MIAMI

FEBRUARY 25: FLY TO GRAND CAYMAN TO JOIN CARNIVAL GLORY FOR BC4.

MARCH 6: FLY HOME FOR 3 WEEKS BEFORE GOING TO SHIPYARD FOR YOUR CARNIVAL MAGIC

I would have loved to have been the CD for her first cruise but 350 bloggers are waiting for me on the Carnival Glory.

One footnote here: I was hoping to have a pre-cruise drink with Big Ed’s Evil Krewe before BC4 but due to the new activities and events we will be doing on BC4 the ship’s senior management has asked that I join early to get everyone prepared. My apologies to them.

The CD on the Carnival Splendor will be Felipe Cortu who arrives on the ship on Monday. He will have loads of work to do including preparing the vessel, the Fun Times and meeting his staff most of which he will not have met before. It will be my job to bring everyone together and of course write my blog. I will make sure we shoot lots of video as well.

So there you have it and again my apologies to anyone that I have let down and I hope you find it in your hearts to forgive me. I will be back with a blog on Monday and on Facebook over the weekend.

Oh yes…….I also need to get back to the Carnival Splendor because I disembarked in a hurry and left behind my collection of naughty Latvian movies and my favourite pair of underpants which I wore throughout the incident. These are now cemented to the floor of the cruise director’s cabin and Ketut will need some power tools to remove them.

Thanks for listening and for understanding.

Goodnight
Your friend
John

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.

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