It’s Bin A Magical Start

May 2, 2011 -

John Heald

So the Royal Wedding is over and Mrs. Middleton, who has obviously been panning that her daughter should marry a prince since Kate was just a fetus, has her wish. Billions of people watched on TV and a few here on the Carnival Magic’s Seaside Theatre big screen in-between getting the ship ready for service. The wedding cost huge sums of money and yet even though Mr and Mrs. Public had helped pay for it through their taxes, hundreds of thousands lined the streets 10 deep to catch a glimpse of Prince William’s hereditary bald patch and Princess Kate’s dress.

They stood there for hours holding their bladders and waving their little flags as the pomp and circumstance played before their eyes and nobody……..I mean nobody likes…….pomp and circumstance like us Brits. And in between running around getting the ship ready I managed to catch a glimpse or the wedding highlights and I felt all happy inside for the Willy and Kate. Yes, their royal waves looked like someone who has had a few pints of ThirstyFrog Red beer trying to drunkenly impersonate the queen. And I ahhhhed at the royal kiss even though I am sure William was more interested in showing his new bride his little prince later that night. Yes, I was on their side, I was happy for them and happy for the country …..right up to the point when the total bastard drove off for some royal honeymoon night rumpy pumpy……….in a convertible Aston Martin.

It was a gift they say from the British people which means it was our taxes that paid for it. Like bollocks was it a gift. If I am going to buy someone an Aston Martin it’s going to be not some ginger haired lanky streak of piss. He’s a sodding multi-millionaire so buy your own. But he won’t because like the rest of his family he’s a tight arse. There was pre-wedding story in the national newspapers in the UK that allegedly on a stag night meal Prince William and his mates had gone for a meal at a posh London restaurant and left the waiter £4.20 on a £420 bill  …… let’s put that in US dollars shall we. The bill or check as you say was at today’s rate of 1.67…..$701…………and the young Prince Duracell left a tip of……….$7.01.

Now, I’ve thought about this and there’s just no way that this was an oversight as a Buckingham Palace spokesperson with a beard suggested. What a load of Royal bollocks… I may have the brain capacity of a plank of wood but isn’t that exactly one per cent of the bill? No, I reckon they thought £4.20 would do. And who cares when your Dad owns half of the UK and your grandmother has her face on the bloody money you paid with.

I suppose we cannot expect the Royals to understand since they are waited on from birth by household staff whom they tip bugger all. But if William ever plans to return to that restaurant in London with his new bride and finds his meal likes crap…..…that’s probably because it is. Still, despite all of this I wish them much happiness. I hope that their marriage is more successful than poor Princesses Diana’s was to Prince Charles. William’s mother once famously said “There were three people in our marriage.” I hope Prince William doesn’t follow suit and have three in the relationship. But thinking about it Prince William already has my Aston Martin and it wouldn’t surprise me if he does have three in his royal bed and the third……. is Megan Fox ……… lucky royal sod.

Time for some Q and A………… we go.

Ed Kosmerl Asked:

the wife and I were on the Inaugural Sailing of the Dream, 09/21/2009 from Civitevecchia. It was a great cruise and a great ship, however, we were disappointed that Carnival did not have merchandise for sale indicating that we sailed on the Inaugural Cruise (not Inaugural Season merchandise that was available). Being the first paying passengers on a ship is a big deal – only so many people can say that per ship. Carnival should have such merchandise available on the Magic and Breeze for the first cruise only identifying the person as sailing on the Inaugural Sailing – I would venture to say that you would sell out each and everything. Wish I would have had the opportunity on the Dream.

John Says:
Hello Ed Kosmerl

Yes you are absolutely right Ed and honestly I was so surprised when I boarded the ship ion Bermuda and discovered that we didn’t have inaugural items in the gift shops. It was a silly mistake and one we should not have made. I apologise for this and I am glad to say that we won’t be repeating that mistake here on your Carnival Magic. The gift shop has a full selection of T Shirts, sweatshirts for men and women as well as mugs and souvenirs and baseball caps. Also I have finally gotten the beards to produce a gift for all the guests as well on this first voyage. We learn by our mistakes and this blog continues to be an excellent forum from which to express them.

Best wishes

Mandy R T T Asked:
I am one of those who also vote for you’re to spend less time writing jokes and passing on stories of what happens onboard and spending more valuable time helping your customers. Take a leaf out of Princess Cruises book and write a blog full of intuitive stories and factual information rather than your childish lurid garbage. You would get more readers and your company would be better served. I posted a question here a month before my cruise on the Liberty and you answered it after the cruise and this meant I never got my table for two as I had asked for. Not good enough Mr Heald.

John Says:
Hello Mandy R T T

Thanks for the posting and all I can say to this is that I am sorry but the blog started out as a look at the life onboard a Carnival ship and if I take that away I might as well close the blog thingy down. I know it’s frustrating that it takes me so long to answer but hopefully you will understand that I am one chap with a job as CD to do as well as a blog thingy writer. I am a huge fan of Princess and their blog and you are right to say how excellent it is.

Best wishes

CruiseLoverx2 Asked:
There are those of us on Cruise Critic who were discussing why Carnival does not give more information to passengers during an unexpected happening. Case in point was that we had a roll call on the Legend when we were woken at 7:45am by the cruise director and his annoying Scottish accent which is impossible for us Americans to understand by the way. We much preferred Trevor Block. So the announcement is made that the ship has to go meet a helicopter because someone needs emergency care but there is no more information given. Was it an accident? Was it something that the rest of the passengers should know about to avoid doing the same thing. I don’t expect them to give personal medical details they could say it was an illness so we don’t worry. Then it would be nice if they could tell us how the passenger is doing later in the cruise. Did they survive or did they expire. One other point of concern is that

John Says:
Hello CruiseLoverx2

First of all I hope that you and the rest of the Cruise Critic group had a great time. While I know that information is so important these days, when it comes to details on why we are taking a guest ashore there is only so much we are able and prepared to give. I promise you that if it was a situation that we needed to warn the guests about then we would be totally clear about what happened. If that is not the case then all we will say is that the guests needs immediate medical attention ashore and that we wish them well and are thinking of them and the family that may be onboard with them. I know we always try and give good news to the guests later in the cruise that the person taken ashore has improved but again there is the privacy situation to think about and sometimes………well…….sometimes the news is not good and that’s not something you want to share with everyone in the middle of their vacation. By the way, on a personal note…….I think the word expire is a rather cold and callous one. Just my opinion. So, I hope this explains this situation and as always I hope that the group had a brilliant time.

Best wishes

The Scholls Asked:
John – Urgent Reply

Me and my DW are on Magic with you on June 24 sailing and need a table for 2 by the window with a waiter who is quick on his feet as we like to be in and out. We don’t want to sit with other passengers so a table for 2 is a must. We are in stateroom number 7297 which for your information is a Penthouse! We are regular Celebrity cruises and will have completed a European cruise on the Solstice before we join magic so you will have big shoes to fill!

John Says:
Hello Scholls

I am glad that you are trying our brand new ship Carnival Magic and I have asked the maitre d for a table for 2 and while that should be OK, I cannot promise it by the window. The team will do their best to get you served as quickly as possible although I do hope you will take some time to sit back and enjoy the fun, food and service that they will provide you. Our shoes are ready and I have no doubt that the X will fit easily in them with room to spare.

See you soon

Best wishes

Bob Asked:
Hi John,

My wife and I are contemplating taking another Carnival Cruise sometime this fall. We would like to know if Lenny Halliday (sp?) is still an active Cruise Director with Carnival. He was the first CD we had on our first cruise aboard the Paradise. Please let me know when you get a chance. Thanks.


John Says:
Hello Bob

Lenny retired last year and is back home in Liverpool with his wife and family. Lenny was old school and in my opinion one of the best CDs we have ever had and he is much missed by myself and my colleagues. I have his home email address and so I will send this to him and I know he will be thrilled to see your words. Best wishes to you and your good lady.


Donna Asked:
please reply

Is there any way I can ask a question or note anything without being attached by your people who protect you to such an extreme extent. I asked one question or made a comment and they jump on anyone who makes somewhat of a negative comment. I don’t dare to make any comment because of that. At this point I won’t mention names but how can I ask something of you without them trashing me. You are a great CD and we are 15 plus cruisers with Carnival and happy with Carnival and you. Your cheerleaders have sort of turned me away. I don’t want to abandon Carnival but don’t know how to handle any comments anymore. Your cheer leaders have really turned us off as they seem to know it all. Please help me in handling this without going on your blog as they will crucify me. Thank you so much as we have met you and know you are sincere. BTW we are old and married 60 years and have a hard time with some of the criticism on the blog and especially on Cruise Critic… Thank you so much.

John Says:
Hello Donna

I know that sometimes when I or someone else says something that others disagree with that the replies they make can seem somewhat hostile. However, it’s never personal I am sure and I have learnt that words typed on a keyboard often come across completely differently than the same words that are spoken. I hope that you continue to express your opinion and if you need to criticize me or anything I say please know that I am here to listen to you and you should never be intimidated here to do so. Most importantly having been married for 60 years we all need to listen to what you have to say as what you have achieved in staying together for that amazing amount of time is certainly worth listening to. Best wishes to you both


Kathy Asked:
Hi John, I am selling on the Dream in September and have been reading Cruise Critic about various things. I came upon one where someone asked in the MDR was open on embarkation day. The answer to this was no but one posted that they were just on the dream last yr and yes it was open. So may question is will the main dining room be open on Embarkment Day?? Thanks.

John Says:
Hello Kathy

Thanks for taking the time to write. The dining room is not open on embarkation day and here are your dining options for that afternoon:


11:00am – 3:30pm Lunch the Gathering, 10 Fwd & Aft

11:00am – 3:00pm Mongolian the Gathering, 10 Fwd

11:00am – 6:00pm the Grill the Gathering, 10 Fwd

1100pm – 3:30pm Italian Taste the Gathering, 10 Fwd

11:00am – 3:30pm Tandoor Station The Gathering, 10 Aft

11:00am – 3:30pm Burrito The Gathering 10 Aft

11:00am – 3:30pm Fresh Pasta The Gathering, 11 Aft

I hope you have a wonderful cruise and please let me know if you have any other questions

Best wishes

Alan the Sponge Asked:
Hello John. Please reply


I wrote to you asking to help me with a table close to the entrance so my son who was injured in Afghanistan would not have to walk through the dining room. I asked if you could help with a wedding proposal and both my wishes came true and then some. John you are a rock star and oh how jealous the other cruise lines must be that they don’t have a John Heald on their books. Please allow me to take a few moments to thank the cruise director Butch for allowing my son to propose on stage even though it took him a few minutes to get up there as he is still getting used to his prosthetic limb. But when he did and when he asked Sophia to marry him and saw the audience stand and cheer it was a wonderful moment in what has been the most traumatic past 2 years. I know you don’t always hear the thanks you deserve but I want to thank you so much for the huge help and the big difference you make to so many people’s cruises. The staff was wonderful and the food was too and our suite was luxurious. The only negative was that like you I am a cigar smoker and the only place to smoke is outside and even there we were frowned on by passersby. But we had a great time and again I want to thank you on behalf of my USMC son Travis and his fiancé Sophia for the gifts, table arrangements and help making a special cruise even more so.


John Says:
Hello Alan the Sponge

There is not much I can say to this except to say I am so happy that you had a great time and that we are all proud of the service your son has given and we all wish Travis and Sophia the most wonderful life together. And I know what you mean about the cigars. I am working on that.

I send my best wishes to you all.

Carnival Platinum Cruiser Asked:
– Reply

And another thing is that your room service menu is the worst in the industry with no hot food and scrawny sandwiches. Not good enough Mr Brand Ambassador man.

John Says:
Hello Carnival Platinum Cruiser

I replied to another really negative post of yours the other day, didn’t I? And I have to ask, if we are such a lousy cruise line why are you a Platinum cruiser? Could it be that we are not that bad after all and that our value for money cruise vacations have had you return 10 times? Our room service menu is excellent when you consider it’s free and that there are so many other food choices around the ship. There is hot food as well as the menu shows:


Choice of White, Whole Wheat or Rye Bread

• Tuna Salad

• Roast Turkey

• Ham and Cheese

• Peanut Butter and Jelly

• Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato

• Shrimp Salad on French Roll

• Mozzarella & Portobello Mushrooms on Focaccia

• Roasted New York Strip Loin and Cheddar Cheese on French Bread



All Sandwiches are served with Potato Salad or Coleslaw, Potato Chips or Pretzels

• Grilled American Cheese

• Grilled Reuben with Corned Beef and Swiss Cheese

• Chicken Fajita, Guacamole with Greens in a Jalapeno & Tomato Wrap

• Hot Pastrami Sandwich on Rye Bread



• Mixed Greens (Served with Choice of Ranch, Thousand Island, Balsamic Vinaigrette, Blue Cheese or Fat Free Honey Mustard Dressing)

• Caesar Salad (Hearts of Romaine Lettuce Tossed with our Caesar Dressing, freshly grated Parmesan Cheese, Anchovies and Herb Croutons)

• Assorted Vegetable Sticks with Blue Cheese Dip



New York Cheesecake

Assorted Cookies

Chocolate Cake

Fresh Fruit Salad

Strawberry Yogurt



Bottled Spring Water is Available in your Stateroom for a Nominal Fee

Orange – Tomato – Apple

Grapefruit Juice

Regular or Decaffeinated Coffee

Hot Tea – Iced Tea

Hot Chocolate – Milk

Skim Milk – Chocolate Milk



Available 24 Hours Soft Drinks

Coca Cola – Diet Coke

Sprite – Diet Sprite

Club Soda – Ginger Ale

Tonic Water



Budweiser – Bud Light – Miller Lite – Coors Light – Michelob Ultra



Heineken – Corona – Beck’s- Amstel Light

Best wishes

Danny and Henri Asked:
John Please reply

We are two gay fathers aged 28 and my partner is 55 with a two girls aged 7 and 4. We are going on the ship Freedom in May and are worried that the cruise crew and the passengers will not accept us. Can you assure us that this is not the case and can you confirm you have gay meetings and friendship parties onboard the ship please.

John Says:
Hello Danny and Henri

Please don’t worry. Our guests come in all shapes, sizes, creeds and colours and I promise that you will feeling nothing but comfort and fun from the moment you board the ship. We do indeed have scheduled Friends of Dorothy meetings and I wish you and your family the most wonderful time.

Best wishes

VCV120 Asked:

John, in the interest of showing your small band of cheerleaders who bash Cruise Critic constantly you should read this.

Comments Mr Heald?

You should remember that as much as you may dislike Cruise Critic their membership is far bigger than your blog. There are two sides to every coin as the link I posted shows

John Says:
Hello VCV120

You have reached John Heald, Senior Cruise Director and Brand Ambassador at Carnival Cruise Lines. I am sorry that I am not at my desk here but to listen to a professional reply to your question scroll to answer 1. If you would like a less professional answer but one from the heart, use your mouse thingy and scroll directly to answer number 2.


Hello VCV120

Please don’t ever think that I dislike Cruise Critic as I have said on numerous occasions. It’s been a busy few days what with the inaugural cruise, naming ceremony, etc., of this beautiful ship Carnival Magic and I sincerely apologise that I don’t have time to open and read the link you kindly provided. I will say that I respect the opinions of everyone at Cruise Critic and realise the extraordinary popularity that the site has and that the members there continue to provide each other with invaluable cruise based information. Thanks again for taking the time to write.

Best wishes


Oh FFS! How many sodding times do I have to sit here in my underpants at 6 o’ bloody clock in the morning and say again that those who think that I dislike Cruise Critic are wrong. It’s total bollocks and these sorts of comments are written by people who have the social life of a dung beetle. I haven’t read your link because quiet honestly I can’t be arsed! Best wishes



And on that note…….that’s your lot for today.

So, let’s find out which non-U.S. passengers are sailing with us on this inaugural cruise.


Country Guests
Antigua and Barbados
Argentina 4
Australia 306
Austria 2
Azerbeidjan 4
Bahamas 2
Belgium 3
Belorussia 4
Bermuda 1
Bosnia & Herzegovina
Brazil 3
Canada 339
Cape Verde
Cayman Islands
Chech Republic
Chile 2
China 6
Colombia 4
Costa Rica 3
Czech Republic
Dominican Republic 5
Finland 4
France 1
Germany 52
Guam 2
Hong Kong 2
Hungary 1
India 3
Indonesia 2
Ireland 8
Israel 20
Italy 7
Ivory Coast
Japan 23
Kazakhstan 2
Korea 41
Kuwait 1
Latvia 2
Malaysia 6
Mexico 15
Netherlands 13
Netherlands Ant
New Zealand 14
Philippines 18
Poland 1
Portugal 2
Puerto Rico
Russia 462
Saint Kitts
Saudi Arabia
Sierra Leone
South Africa 20
Spain 5
Saint Vincent
St Lucia
Sweden 1
Syrian Arab Republic
Switzerland 133
Taiwan 2
Trinidad and Tobago 4
Turkey 1
United Arab Emirates 2
Uruguay 1
UK 47
Ukraine 167
Virgin Islands


That’s 600 Russians/Ukranians and that will provide us for sure with some wonderful stories.


Under 2 Years 5
2-5 Years (Camp Carnival) 36
6-8 Years (Camp Carnival) 36
9-11 Years (Camp Carnival) 43
12-14 Years (Circle “C”) 31
15-17 Years (Club 02) 22
18-20 Years 28


So here we are on this amazing new ship and let me tell you that if first impressions are anything to go by then this vessel is going to be a massive hit. Now before we get to some facts let me tell you that is true of all inaugural cruises on all cruise ships. It’s only when you put the first group of guests onboard that you know if indeed you have thought of absolutely everything and already we have discovered a few things, here they are.


1. The web cam server is broken

2. I can’t do my morning show live as the cable or something has not been finished yet. They are hoping to get this done in the next few days but its bloody frustrating this for me and I am very upset as the morning show is very important to me.

3. The late sitting dinner opened late last night. This was for two reasons and they are that many came to early sitting late because they watched the sail away from Venice and then went to dinner late. This had a roll-on effect and this meant late sitting opened 20 minutes later than it should have. I have done this cruise before and am mad at myself for not remembering that the same thing happened on Carnival Liberty as well. Bugger! The other reason is that as you can see we have 600 Russians onboard and to them time means buggerov allov. This meant that they arrived at early sitting dinner 30 to 40 minutes late and left only when they wanted to. I will have more Russian stories I am sure later this week.


Apart from that and one or two minor things and considering that this is the inaugural cruise, the mood on the ship is brilliant and the guests love the new spaces. Here are some of the first night success stories.


1. There were 170 guests who used the rope swing course including a 71 year old lady! Yep, this fat bastard can’t do it but a 71 year old lady by the name of Anna May Hasbrough from Wilmington Delaware did the course on embarkation day. Brilliant.

2. 40 people ate their dinner at the Cucina de Capitano

3. RedFrog Pub was hopping and the scheduled 5:15 pm and 7:15 pm sunset parties were a brilliant hit with all and the first reports on the ThirstyFrog Red Ale are that it’s going to be very popular indeed.


And now it’s time to talk about guest complaints. For those of you who are new to the blog thingy I wanted to chat with you a bit about this. You see, every now and then I will post honest accounts of some of the guests comments made to me in person or via the ship’s incident report at the guest services desk. Some of these comments will be justified for sure and some will be of the more ummmmm………outrageous nature that I feel are worth sharing. I will also post the rude comments, none I promise are fiction and I will always delete the guest’s name. Anyway, saying that, the honour of the first negative comment to be posted here on the blog thingy, the first blog thingy of the first cruise of the Carnival Magic goes to this lady who said:


Guest: Mrs——— Ref: 002890950A
Cabin: Booking#: Added-Changed: 01/05/11 – 01/05/11


Mrs. _______ called the GSD and informed me that she was allergic to feathers, she told purser that she would not be able to sleep using the linen provided in her stateroom. GSA informed that housekeeping would be notified to further assist by providing blankets but guest said she was also allergic to wool and polyester and she could only sleep in silk sheets and pillow covers. GSA checked with housekeeping but we do not have this onboard. Guest says that Carnival will have to purchase these for her in the next port of call as she had told a Carnival reservations agent who said that we would provide her with these items. Guest has asked that she be compensated and has asked for immediate meeting with GSM.


We will be compensating her for this and for the fact that we also promised she would have caviar and champagne in her cabin refrigerator and 5 naked Eunuchs to serve it to her.

Well the naming ceremony was I think a huge success and Lindsey Wilkerson our charming godmother was simply wonderful and I cannot think of a more suitable person to name this vessel Carnival Magic. I was very concerned about my speech that welcomed Lindsey and introduced a brilliant Beards Production film about her life. I wanted the ceremony to be fun but we also wanted to strike a balance with concurrent theme of Lindsay surviving cancer and the continuing battle the staff at St. Jude face each day to help other children live like Lindsey. Anyway, this is what I said:

Where sick children are concerned, everyone wants a fairy tale with a happy ending, and St Jude Children’s Research Hospital is justifiably famous for producing more than its fair share of them. I toured the hospital recently and it is an extraordinary place. Given its role as the “hospital of last resort,” St Jude Children’s Research Hospital is almost perversely full of people laughing; not bravely or falsely, but just because children, even sick ones, are funny. The walls of the wards are full of stories in the children’s own words. Some tell how scared they are, some have written about how they have made Best Friends Forever with the kid in the next bed and one that I remember was written by a lad called Brandon – age 7 who wrote how he played a trick on the doctors because he devoured a secret bar of chocolate half an hour before he was due to have surgery and they never found out.

To work in such a place must provide one with a whole roller coaster of emotions. I met with and spoke with some who do work there and I was touched deeply by their compassion and their sense of total hope and belief yet also I could see that they had to always be prepared for the cruel realities they have to live with every day.

I have recently become a father. My wife Heidi and I were trying for seven years……… every Thursday……..I used to love Thursdays……..and 2 years ago we were blessed with a beautiful girl called Kye. I have to be honest that after my visit to St. Jude and after seeing what I saw I found myself counting my blessings that Kye, my daughter, was healthy but it also gave me clear determination to do all I could to help the children there and to keep them laughing …….and living. St Jude is a place of dash and drama, used to flashbulbs as celebrities lend their time and money to the cause as have many major corporation’s and private donors. And today, Carnival is proud beyond all measure to be part of the help as we have committed to raise 3 million dollars or more for the children there today………and the children there tomorrow. St Jude Children’s Research Hospital is a place full of blessings………….and one of those blessings is called Lindsey……………..let’s take a look.


Then after a video played, I had the privilege of introducing the godmother to your Carnival Magic

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to meet the Carnival Magic’s godmother. She has survived cancer and now gives her time to continue to promote the wonderful and continuing work of St Jude’s Children Research Hospital. I am sure Lindsey has never sought the spotlight and in her wildest dreams she never imagined herself as the godmother of this magnificent ship. But she sums up all that St Jude is and I cannot imagine a more worthy godmother. She’s down here now, as nervous as can be I am sure so we need to make her feel welcome because what she is about to do is on behalf of all the children of St Jude past, present and future. So ladies and gentlemen. This is not a time for reserved golf claps, this is a time to applaud vigorously and if you feel you want to stand and cheer to show your support for Lindsey and to the brilliant work the organisation does and most because you have hope in your hearts that there will one day be a cure for childhood cancer. Please now turn your applause buttons to the loudest setting and welcome the godmother of your Carnival Magic………….Lindsey Wilkerson.


And up on to the stage she came and stole the show with her charm, compassion and humility.

Here are some images of the naming ceremony as taken by Mr. Radu.


I met with many guests last night and with the group of 51 press as well and everyone said that they thought the ceremony was really excellent and that as I expected, the emotions of Lindsey’s story had some with tears in their eyes.

Moving away from the Carnival Magic for a moment it’s time to post the cruise director schedule for the remainder of 2011. As always I want to say a big thanks to Chris Prideaux our director of entertainment for allowing me to do this. I am sure I am correct when I say that no other major cruise line makes this schedule public and I think that you all appreciate the fact that we do. I also want to take this opportunity to mention my CD colleagues who continue to be the best in the industry and whom really make a difference to so many of our guest’s cruise experience. Anyway, here is the schedule.

I will ask one of the beards to place this permanently on the blog thingy as usual and if you have any questions please let me know.

I have been very busy these past few days and my fears of not being able to keep the blog and my Facebook page updated as I am used to doing were realised and I apologise for this. But hopefully things will get back to normal now and eventually I will be back into my routine. I hope you enjoyed all the photos and video coverage here and on Facebook of your Carnival Magic’s progress and my thanks to all the beards and all the Stephanies for their help and hard work. Oh yes…….congratulations everyone………our blog passed 10 million views yesterday …………. which is jaw droppingly brilliant. My continued thanks for your friendship and support.

It’s now 7:45am, the sun has come up and the Mediterranean is duck pond calm and the ship looks fantastic. We are heading to Dubrovnik, Croatia, my wife just brought me a coffee and a bagel and Kye is at Camp Carnival. My hemorrhoids are not itching and the 2,047 vice presidents who are sailing are all in bed still which means they are leaving me alone.

So to sum up………..the Magic comes alive, the Prince gets married, there’s a new beautiful Princess, and the bad guy is dead! Bloody hell……….it’s a Disney movie.


Your friend

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.