I shouldn’t mention that there are one or two naughty married men who work on the ships who now and then will have a bit of rumpy pumpy while away from their marital home. It’s easy to spot which men are doing this because they will have Paul Shark blue sweaters on and their cabin doors will be latched shut. There is one chap who lives in the same corridor as me that is a bloody rabbit. Honestly, we might as well put a revolving door on his cabin……and a cat flap for the tiny bar waitress from Thailand who I saw going in there the other night.

I am not condoning this in any way shape or form although as happily married as I am there are nights when I think………lucky bastard. I say “lucky” not because of the international rumpy pumpy he is getting but lucky that his wife hasn’t caught him! I would never cheat on Heidi — I love my thingy too much. But even if I did she would know because I can never hide anything from her and I just don’t how men do it.

The rich and famous are no better. Look at the lady who Arnold Schwarzenegger had rumpy pumpy with. She was their maid…..still, in a way I can’t blame him, there is something about a maid’s uniform that makes a man…….well you know. I think that this whole thing has proven that Arnold isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. At least the chap who lives in the same corridor as me here on the Carnival Magic is having a bit on the side with various women while his wife is many hundreds of miles away. But if Arnold, the stupid bastard, wants to avoid getting caught in future, it’s probably best he doesn’t have an affair with someone who cleans his wife’s toilet and lives in the same sodding house. And how do you secretly financially support someone for years without your wife noticing, when your wife is in fact one of the most thorough investigative journalists in the entire U.S.?
Come on Oprah………… you got one more story to cover before your retirement …………. Oprah vs. the Sperminator………………..now that would be brilliant TV.

Time for today’s Q and A………..off we trot.

Rinestone Cruiser asked:

I need to let you know that your comments and jokes in today’s blog about vegans were uncalled for and may I say that if you ate less meat and followed my healthy lifestyle you wouldn’t be clinically obese like you are now. I must also say that Carnival as a cruise line needs to change their ways having just gotten back from our Legend cruise. The menus are full of meat products with only one vegetarian dish. You need to offer more variety and therefore offer your customers a better and healthier lifestyle. This also goes for educating your servers because when I told my server that I was a vegan she looked at me with no understanding at all which reflected how much I tipped her. So I suggest that you and Carnival think more about this as a recent study said that by the year 2020 1 in 10 Americans will be vegans.

John says:
Hello Rinestone Cruiser,

I am not sure which vegetablists comment you are referring to but I sincerely apologise if it offended you. I do know that we have a good selection of vegetarian options on our menus and I will have to do some research as to what the differences are between vegetarian and vegan. I will certainly pass your comments on to the chefs and as for me being “clinically obese”………well I guess that comes from my belief that it is every animal’s divine right to end up on my dinner plate surrounded by roasted potatoes. I doubt I will be that 1 in 10 chaps but it seems if that is true that we will indeed have to add more vegan options. Thanks for taking the time to write and I hope your recent cruise on the Carnival Legend was lots of fun.

Best wishes,


Jennice Ontiveros asked:
Greetings John!

In my extensive research of Carnival Cruise Lines I came across your blog, so I’ve decided to write you. My name is Jennice, I am a 21 year old soon-to-be college graduate who is absolutely determined to be part of Carnival’s Entertainment Staff. I am PERFECT for this position, and I say that with confidence. My BA in Theatre and Communications Arts, with my Business Minor, and extensive experience planning and hosting activities for my college campus defend that statement. I know that this is probably an unconventional message, but I see that you are so involved and respected at Carnival, so I am wondering: Do you have any advice or words of wisdom to get me through the application process? I would very much appreciate any help or advice you may be able to offer.

Thanks so much and Happy Sailing!


John says:
Hello Jennice Ontiveros,

Thanks for finding the blog and I love your positive attitude and belief that you are right for a position with us. Being yourself on stage is half the battle and believing in yourself is also massively important so you are off to a great start.

Now, please click on www.carnivalentertainment.com and have a read all about the entertainment staff position. It will tell you all you need to know and will then show you how to apply. I wish you much success and maybe we will work together one day soon.

Best wishes,


Andy Majowski asked:

I am very worried because I have seen online that there have been occasions where passengers on a tour in Roatan’s national park have been to see the monkeys have been severely bitten. I will be on the Valor next month and am thinking now about canceling my excursion. Do you know if these are facts or just rumor? I would also like a table for 2 on cabin listing 6311 for the cruise date June 5. Get back to me before sailing so I can decide what to do.

John says:

Hello Andy Majowski,

The tour you are referring to is the Pirates and Monkeys of the Caribbean. When I was on the Carnival Valor a couple of years ago and on the Carnival Legend I promoted this tour many times and had lots of guests who said they loved it. I do remember an occasion a long time ago when one monkey nibbled a guest’s finger after an offer of food but that’s all. I can assure you that if there were multiple incidents and if these animals were any danger to our guests we would not send them there. So my advice is go, the most common comment I hear about this excursion is that it is really superb. There is more danger of a parrot crapping on your shoulder and nibbling your ear than being bitten by a monkey and unless you see Dustin Hoffman in a Hazmat suit like in the movie Outbreak ………..I promise there is nothing to worry about. I will ask the maitre d to do his best to help you with your table request.

Best wishes and have a fun cruise.


Haydn Lambert asked:
Hey John!

I wanted to share an experience on the Valor March 20. I am 13 years old and loved Circle C. The director, John did an amazing job! He was awesome! However I did run into a problem. Our Cruise director, Josh and his assistant chose the Circle C lounge to film their afternoon show… While this would normally be no problem they were doing it during our activity time. They gave no regards to the huge sign on the door reading that we had the room at 5. Although I regret doing it we all began to knock loudly on the door as we were being ignored by them in the room. When they finally bothered to come speak with us they told us they would be done in an hour (by that time the club would be closed until after dinner) After they were finally done after a good 2 hours of filming we talked with our cruise director, probably one of the rudest people I have met and he offered no apology or even comment. I love carnival however Josh (the cruise director) was just quite rude!

John says:
Hello Haydn Lambert,

I am very glad you told me about this because obviously there was a schedule conflict that may still be going on, so now you have told me I will address it with the ship. Please accept my apologies and I will make sure this never happens again. I hope you had a fun cruise and thanks again for letting me know.

Best wishes,


Burt Gulnick asked:

Enjoy reading your blog and truly amazing to see a ship like the Magic transform. I have only been on one cruise – 5 years ago, and it was amazing on the Liberty. It was a surprise for my wife for our 10th anniversary. I’d like to do the same next year for our 15th and I’m wondering if there are any updates on the NYC Cruise schedule. I know you mentioned there were some minor tweaks and just hoping there is an update of when they are coming out. Thanks always for the entertaining read.

Best regards,


John says:

Hello Burt Gulnick,

That was a wonderful surprise you gave your wife and I am glad to hear you are considering doing it again. May I suggest that you read my blog and Facebook page on May 26 which is Thursday and there will be some news that will I am sure have you picking up the phone or clicking that mouse thingy immediately. Thanks for the kind words.

Best wishes to you both.



Bill and Janie H asked:

It has been interesting reading about the birth of the Magic on your blog and I am sure it will be wonderful times ahead as you sail in Europe. But what is Carnival thinking by putting the ship in Galveston! My wife and 3 children had a recent cruise on the Conquest and even though the ship and the crew were good the Texans spoiled our vacation with their rude and common behavior. I am sure that after a year in Galveston your magic ship will look like she is 10 years old. The kids were running everywhere and the parents couldn’t have cared less. We will never ever take a cruise out of Texas again. I don’t think Carnival has thought this through have they?

John says:
Hello Bill and Janie H,

I am glad you have enjoyed reading the blogs about this beautiful ship and I really do hope you get to see her one day soon. I have said before how much I loved cruising out of Galveston and how the people who cruise from their love our product so it’s no surprise at all that we have given the port a new ship. I have no doubts at all that she will be a huge success. I should I think point out that the vast majority of the time children sailing with Carnival are well behaved and the Carnival Conquest attracts guests from all over the country. I do you hope you had a great cruise and you should seriously consider cruising here on your Carnival Magic as she is a wonderful ship.

Best wishes to all.


Grant Ackland asked:


I will be sailing on the Freedom next month with my girlfriend of 3 years and I am definitely going to ask her to marry me. Do you have any ideas or suggestions to make this special? Can you help me?

John says:
Hello Grant Ackland,

It will be my pleasure to help you. What I need you to do is write your name and cabin number with the words “Marriage Proposal” on it and leave it as soon as you are onboard for the attention of Ryan Fitzgerald, the brilliant cruise director, at the guest services desk. I will alert him and he will offer you a chance to propose on stage which I am sure will be a huge shock for her. Hope all hoes well and I wish you a wonderful life together.

Best wishes.


Wendy Jackson asked:
Hi John,

I was wondering about the spa balcony rooms on the Magic. I’m booking the cruise out of Galveston on the Magic (12/18). My husband and two teenagers have never cruised before. I was thinking about booking a spa room because I think my husband would really enjoy the extra benefits. The only thing I’m concerned about though is sea sickness. Do you feel the ship moving more in the spa balcony rooms? I’ve never had problems with this myself, but I was trying to figure out if we would be better to book a regular balcony room or the spa. Any suggestions?

John says:
Hello Wendy Jackson,

The Cloud 9 Spa cabins are gorgeous and the earthy brown colours (spelt correctly) that we have used makes them totally relaxing as do the complimentary Elemis products and the spa slippers and gowns. Please don’t worry about seasickness. The chances are always slim that you will have rough weather that will make you sick and unless you have major motion sickness concerns then this should not be a concern that stops you booking a stateroom that gets you free access to the spa’s luxury rooms and the thalassotherapy pool. I hope you decide to go ahead, I promise you will not be disappointed.

Best wishes.


Rita Presnell asked:
Hi John,

I so enjoy your blog and keeping up with you on FB. I have a question about cruise directors. Our first cruise was on Fantasy in 2004 and we had Lennie Halliday as CD. Then, again in 2008 we had him again on Triumph. He is partly responsible for us being totally addicted to cruising. We love him but I do not see his name on the cruise director list. Is he now retired or no longer a CD? Thanks for all you do for Carnival cruising and, especially, the guests. You are an inspiration!!!!

John says:
Hello Rita Presnell,

Thanks for those kind words and sadly Lenny retired 2 years ago and is back in his beloved Liverpool. I have his email address though and I am sure he will be absolutely thrilled when he reads your words of praise. Thanks again for taking the time to write.

Best wishes,


Audimans asked:


If possible, I’d like to ask a favor of you Can you confirm that my cousins will be seated with us at early dining? We have requested this through our travel agent but found this request site that you have so we need cabins 1333 and 6345 to be together on our Fascination cruise. They booked late so we must be together or the cruise will be ruined for sure. I called carnival but got jerked around.

John says:
Hello Audimans,

I will need your full names and sailing date please so I can help you. Please post it again here and I will do my best to ask the maitre d to link the cabins together. Look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,


That’s all for today and I will return with more tomorrow. Please keep the comments coming and your reviews and I will continue to try and reply as quickly as I can.

I have been asked a few times about the web cams on our ships that have been frozen in time for the last few months. While they are working fine here on your Carnival Magic they are not working fine on the other ships. I spoke again to the techy beards and they are continuing to work with the provider that sends our web cam pictures to the internet thingy and told them how disappointed many of you are that these have not been fixed yet. They are working on it ………….. again………….and I hope they will give me some good news soon. I wish we had what Cunard has — a constantly updated web cam that also has a map and the itinerary on it. To me, there web cam page is the best in the business and we should try to copy what they do. If you haven’t seen what they have, click on this link thingy and see what I mean.

While you are there you should take a look at Cunard’s blog. This used to be written by Cunard’s Entertainment Director Alistair Greener who has recently retired and yet the blog is thriving. That’s because it has been taken over by Cunard’s President and our man in London Peter Shanks. I think it is very brave of him to do this because as president he is putting himself in the firing line. Cunarders are truly in love with their ships. They wear cream-coloured turtleneck jumpers and blue blazers festooned with shiny gold buttons and sensible shoes and speak in reverential whispers about how the new queen Elizabeth’s engines were cast with metal from a hundred Rolls Royces. They talk of tea and scones in the Queens Room and dancing the tango before dining on peacock and chips, many are so overcome with emotion; they have to go to the toilet. These are the heart and soul of Cunard but through his brilliant writing I think these avid fans will get a unique look at what is happening through the eyes of its president. Peter’s blog is live and today he talks to us about Cunard’s affiliation with some absolute true life heroes.

Here is the link: www.wearecunard.com

I would like you to meet the head chef of your Carnival Magic, the man behind your prime rib and chocolate melting cake. Here he is hosting The Chef’s Table.

When did you start working for Carnival Cruise Lines and what was your first position/job with the company?

Back in 1999 before I joined CCL, I lived in Dubai working as a Sous Chef. I came to CCL as a Galley Jr. Sous Chef and I could tell right away it was a great opportunity for me. I could see the potential for growth and there has been incredible expansion in my years here at Carnival. What an experience it has been, learning a new way of thinking and a new way to operate has definitely been worthwhile. Operating in a ship galley and adapting to its environments has also presented challenges contrasted by many rewards. I adapted from day one and continue to strive to better our F&B operation to this moment.

Tell us how you started working for Carnival and why you wanted to work on a ship.

While I was working for LHW (Princeton Hotel-Taj Group-Dubai), the opportunity arose to work with CCL. It was an interesting and exciting opportunity I could not let go by as it afforded me to contribute to the company’s success. It has been a pleasure working with CCL and cooking on the high seas.

How long have you been working for Carnival?

It has already been 10 “short” years, it is an exciting place to work and I am amazed how quick time goes by. The dynamics of the work and the ever changing environment it has made it rewarding. I look forward to many more years of continued association.

How many different ships have you worked on and what are the names of those ships?

I have been luck to experience all Carnival vessels so far beginning from the Tropicale to our current newest ship, the beautiful Carnival Magic. The travel aspect of my career so far has kept me interested as well as meeting many new people on each vessel I go to and sharing experiences and imparting skills.

What is the best thing about working on a ship?

To say there is one in particular would be unfair to the many that exist, to name a few I do enjoy the interaction between the different cultures of the crew we have onboard. I also enjoy the culinary aspect of my job, developing of new menus, bringing out new ships, and the day to day operation of the galley which range from hosting an intimate dinner at “The Chef’s Table” to the production of over 20,000 meals per day. As you can see such a variety of duties, responsibilities can only be found in a place this is being onboard and not many other places in the world.

What is the most challenging part about working on the ship?

Well, would have to say that saying goodbye to the many excellent people I meet is one of the hardest. With a team of over 150 crew I directly control at any one time changes do happen especially as mentioned earlier when I move to different ships. However it is also very nice whenever I meet familiar faces after year or more and seeing they have grown with the company the same way I have so far

What is your favorite port-of-call and what do you remember the most about that port?

East Cost, West Coast, Caribbean, Southern and Northern Europe all have their charm and nice attractions, so to mention one place in particular would be unfair. Having said so, in Europe whilst in France and Italy had the chance to experience their cuisine where food is part of a culture. In the US, I enjoy the fresh seafood from Maine, on the U.S. West Coast, nightlife in San Francisco, which also has many excellent restaurants. This is what it makes so nice to work with CCL. In my past experience I have had the chance to visit many interesting places. Most important, it is not only the place we visit but the way of we experience life in such places as Orlando, New York, the Big Easy and many other cities.

Do you have a nickname on board? If so, what is it?

Cheffy would have to be the one — it goes kind of with the job. I cannot think of any other appellative other than the one just mention. I think if they would call me “cookie,” the girls would all think I am a sweetie.

How do you feel about going to work on the new Carnival Magic?

Phew, do you really want to know? Of course excited and very happy about it, it involves a lot of work and a lot of planning. An analogy could be made, when we go shopping for our home groceries we buy only a few bags of various items here I have to think of container loads of goods, thousands of pounds of meat, thousands of pounds of dairy, etc. This is what makes it one of the great challenges I eagerly undertake and so far I believe in succeeding in, I hope my boss thinks so : ) Anyway look forward to it and believe it or not already getting ready for the next day’s challenges.

Name a few of your hobbies (i.e. reading, writing, etc.).

I do enjoy writing about healthy cooking, this is a hobby which I have always had and a bit of this has also been published by a few websites. It is satisfying doing something I enjoy and at the same time being recognized for. One of the other things I like a lot is talking with people and sharing our experiences. It is amazing how much we can learn from each other and there is no better place than on board our “Fun Ships.” One minute I am talking to someone from Australia, then someone from Europe, in about 5 minutes to someone from Africa and later in the evening someone from South America. In one day I talk to so many people from around the world which is so nice as we are one people, one world.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Wow thinking about it seems so long ago, well I better rephrase not so long as I am still young or so I am told… My interest in my tender years was fascination with electrics and physics – “yes,” I hear you say one of those boy things. Experimenting and trying new things at all times led me to enroll and complete a few years of college in electronics and physics which I passed with flying colors. However I discovered cooking from my uncle who is a well known chef in India working for some of the top hotels including the Oberoi in Mumbai. I remember him showing me tips on how to impress my friends whenever I hosted dinners for them and what a success that was each time. Hence that led me to read more and do more with cooking until I decided to learn formally about it and eventually begin my culinary career in some of the best hotels. I was lucky to begin in the Oberoi group under the wing of some of the top chefs in India and later in the Middle East as well as Greece and France.

Will the Carnival Magic have a special dish, exclusive to the Magic? If so, what will it be?

Secrets can’t be revealed, I suppose you will need to come and cruise and I will be more than happy to explain my creations. Having said that of course we shall develop something to suit everyone, with over 100 menus to choose from I am sure there will be something special for anyone. If not I am only a phone call away and after a quick 5 minute chat, we will come up with something that will make you happy.

Thanks chef and thank you for all you do with The Chef’s Table. I have heard so many great comments about it these past two cruises so many congratulations.

Now as we are talking about food, let’s see what chef is preparing for dinner tonight here on your Carnival Magic.

  • Thai shrimp soup enhanced with baby shrimps and basil
  • Pear and buffalo mozzarella salad, herb perfumed olive reduction
  • Fire roasted chicken in sesame dressing served with BLT salad
  • Steamed Maine mussels in a white wine and Pernod broth, served with watercress and charred cherry tomato salad
  • Duck consommé, garnished with julienne of smoked duck and wild mushrooms
  • Chilled watermelon soup
  • Ahi tuna salad on red beet Carpaccio, garnished with baby greens, marinated in sweet and sour horseradish dressing
  • Sole fillet meuniere, Portobello mushroom and ginger sauce
  • Mac n cheese, garden green peas
  • Sautéed shrimp, salmon and scallops, finished with langoustino meat and lobster ginger nage
  • Pappardelle alla forestale, wide egg noodles in light cream sauce with sautéed wild mushrooms (also available as a starter)
  • Broiled center cut pork chop with Mexican mole
  • Slow cooked red cabbage and apple, Mac n cheese
  • Roasted prime rib of American beef au jus
  • Double baked potato with traditional toppings
  • Eggplant moussaka
  • Vegetarian entrée; casserole with layers of potatoes, purple onions and eggplant

What would you have?

Now let’s talk about Camp Carnival. I’ll have some exciting news about a recent addition to this program in the coming days. Camp Carnival is truly brilliant with lots of great activities and some really enthusiastic and energetic counselors who are dedicated to making sure your kids have the time of their lives on board.

When parents are on a Carnival ship, face painting and having a photo with a 6-foot-high funnel-headed mascot out are not top of their agenda. And when kids are on a cruise, lying on a sun bed staring into space all day, breaking off for a facial and watching some fat English bloke tell stupid jokes is not on the top of their list either. There is a simple and brilliant solution to all of this……. Camp Carnival. There are plenty more reasons why Camp Carnival is the answer to a perfect cruise vacation but one of the most important is that ……without Camp Carnival most parents would get bugger all rumpy pumpy. So that’s that then……..case closed.

Or is it? Before I had Kye in my life, the answer as is there another side would be “no” but as I sit here ……in my underpants thinking that there just might be. You see every day I sit here …….still in my underpants…….. moaning about how much I miss Kye. When she was here on Carnival Magic and when we took her to Camp Carnival I always felt a little guilty about doing so as I wasn’t spending time with her. But she absolutely loved it, especially spending time with other kids.

Heidi told me something that I think is very important and that is children sometimes crave the company of other kids and I know I am biased but Camp Carnival is the best play heaven at sea. So, there is I guess a happy medium where you can find that middle ground providing time at Camp Carnival for the kids…….and time for Mum and Dad to go back to the cabin to make them a brother or a sister.

Now there are some parents who simply want a rest, or maybe some rumpy-pumpy and Camp Carnival is the ideal win-win solution – the kids have a great time and the parents get some much-needed alone time. Anyway, tell me your thoughts about Camp Carnival and I look forward to sharing some exciting news about our youth programs in the days ahead.

We are in Savona today and many of the guests on excursions have gone to the Italian Riviera and the coastline that includes exotic resorts such as Portofino, the popular haunt of the seriously tanned and glamorous. I went to Portofino once with my friends the Bentleys and felt like a total plonker and was probably the most unglamorous and unfashionable person ever to sit by the harbour and eat a plate of fresh caught fish. But it’s a must see place and to fit in you have to have your sunglasses at a chic angle on your head and a few thousand Euros spare change in your pocket. It’s a chance to have a brush with an A-list celebrity and in the old days it used to be Sinatra and Elizabeth Taylor, now it’s Tom Cruise and Pee Diddley.

The weather has been marvelous and the guests seem to be having fun. There have been lines at the guest services desk and most of the time it’s for Sail & Sign deposits in cash. While most of the US guests have left credit cards, the non US guests seem to want to put cash down in bits and pieces. I think we have to find a way of moving this line away from the desk but logistically that’s easier said than done. Apart from that the ship has an almost Costa Cruises feel about it which would be good if we were Costa and the CD spoke 5 languages whereas this CD speaks two……..English and bollocks.

We are already being asked by guests about the ash cloud from the Icelandic volcano Grimsvton and if their flights will be canceled. Some flights in the UK are already canceled and many of our guests are flying back there as they are either Brits or have a stop over there so let’s hope the thing disapissatates (spelt correctly) quicker than the ash cloud from last year’s Icelandic volcanoe Hildergardisatotalbastard did.

Talking of flying I see that there is some talk on the news about some of the major airlines are going to start a fat tax. Now obviously, as I was reminded yet again in today’s Q and A by tofu cruiser……sorry………I mean Rinestone cruiser, that I am fat. The news said this morning that passengers may have to purchase the seat next to them if they do not fit in the seat, can’t lower the arm rest, or need an extra seatbelt extender.

Now my first thought ……OK second thought after………bugger off you wankers ………… was ………..what if you don’t think you’re that fat? Imagine, you show up after your cruise full of sun and chocolate melting cakes. You’re feeling good, it was the best vacation ever and you turn up at Miami airport for your flight and suddenly you are told you have to pay double? That’s five years of therapy right there.

There is just no practical way to execute this policy. What are they going to do, ask people to step on the scale? Good luck getting anyone to do that. I hate to weigh myself in the privacy of my house with the bathroom door locked so they can sod off if they think I’m going to stand on scales at an airport in front of hundreds of strangers?

Perhaps they will decide to build a cage thingy like the one they have for carryon luggage. Then us fat folks will be asked to get in the cage and if our flesh pokes through the bars they’ll be declared over the size limit. If that’s the case we should be allowed to do it naked as clothes add layers. This would not be a good thing because the sight of dozens of fat people naked in metal cages will no doubt force many passengers to vomit and airports will not smell very nice and children will be scared.

I know this decision is intended for people who are extra, extra large but once it’s in the hands of the airline staff, anything can happen. Let’s say Mrs. Hernandez is having a bad day and caught Mr Hernandez having rumpy pumpy with Mrs. Gonzalez from next door. She’s in a bitchy mood and feeling vengeful. Where you sit and whether or not you get on the flight often comes down to their mood. Or in my case, personality. I’ve been in situations where I suspect they tell me there are no aisle seats left just because I got on their nerves. What happens if I ask one question too many? I can hear it now. “Sorry Mr British chubby man, looks like you’re too fat to fly.”

And how will these checkin folks say it? In Britain I bet they’re very polite about it. “Hello Mr Heald. I am sorry to trouble you old bean but may I kindly suggest you purchase another seat because your girth exceeds the limit but we will give you an extra bag of peanuts dear.” Whereas in New York “Hey, how you doin you fat arse, think your flyin’ with us Heald ……… forgeddaboutit.”

And if we have to buy two seats then so should people with breath like a camel’s scrotum ……….. they should start screening for that at the ticketing counter!


Your friend,


P.S You can find the Fun Times for the Carnival Fascination here.

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.