THE CHRISTMAS ISSUE

December 5, 2011 -

John Heald

As you will be reading down below we have a bit of a Christmas controversy appearing in the Q and A section and indeed it’s another example that the holiday season is here and some would say it’s been here in the shops and in advertising since August. Certainly as I wandered my local shopping street in Southend on Sea this past weekend trying to decide what to buy Heidi and my parents I felt very Christmassy indeed. This was mostly because of the music. First we had the lovely brass sounds of the Salvation Army Band playing outside Marks and Spencers which is the store where since the age of 17 I have bought my underpants. The band played Oh Holy Night prompting me to put some money in their collecting box.

Then inside the shop and in fact inside all the shops the Christmas music was playing loud and proud and while it’s nice for a few minutes as I browsed the shelves I felt a huge amount of pity for the poor buggers who work there and must endure Wham’s Last Christmas and Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas Is You over and over again. It must be like being trapped in an elevator with me after I have eaten a dozen Brussels sprouts. And you can imagine that after a few days of this torture the staff must feel like cutting their ears off with a carving knife.

All piped Muzak is torture. The CIA used it in Guantánamo Bay repeatedly playing Celine Dion and Kenny G songs 24 hours a day. The terrorists withstood water boarding but after 24 hours of listening to My Heart Will Go On they were ready to confess.

But Christmas Muzak takes the suffering to a new level. Even I had to leave Marks and Spencers when suddenly and without any health warning the song I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus blared over the speaker system. I immediately left the store and would rather feed my thingy through a shredder then listen to that.

So I left marks and Spencers and went instead to another department store called Debenhams ………..which is a bit like JC Penney I guess. And as I entered I was attacked by The Boss. Yep, Bruce Springsteen’s Santa Claus Is Coming to Town was the song the store was playing. I sort of grew up with Bruce and have always appreciated his brilliant talent. However, the fact that The Boss, that hard, blue collar chap who normally sings about broken heroes and Jersey girls, can be sing about a fictitious fat chap on a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer is absolute bollocks.

And then things got worse as I was browsing in the ladies lingerie department for Calvyn’s gift on came old misery guts, Bob Dylan. Some say he is the heart of modern music. But I don’t think he’s even the scrotum let alone the heart because Bob is one miserable bastard. Even when he’s doing a happy song, he always manages to sound as morbid as a man who’s just run over the family dog. I can’t understand why he would want to inflict his bad mood on everyone else at Christmas time. If I want to feel miserable, I’ll look at myself naked in the mirror.

Why didn’t Iron Maiden or Guns and Roses or Ozzy Osborne record a Christmas album? Ozzy singing Silent Night, now that would be worth listening to rather than all this sugar coated bunch of tinsel turd music we are forced to endure this time of year.

Time for today’s Q and …..off we go.

Randy Smith asked:

Hi, John! Is there any chance of the beards having a Pacific Northwest or Alaska itinerary for the Splendor with Astoria, Oregon as a port again? The pic of the Splendor docked in Astoria at night that’s on Google is so breathtaking. My wife and I would book that cruise in a second! Thanks!

John says:
Hello Randy Smith,

I know we ran these cruises during the H1N1 scare which I have a feeling originated from a pig called Peppa. Anyway, we ran these cruises and they were wonderful but research has shown that they were not popular and that what our guests are looking for is sunshine which of course the Mexican ports provide. Maybe in the future we could run one or two special cruises there but for now I am sorry to say that there are no plans to add these. However, I will send your request to the beards as maybe this will spark their interest in us doing it again.

Best wishes to you both.

John

Shawn McGoldrick asked:
Hey John,

Back from the Liberty. Had a great time. Now I want to go back and see how the changes look once complete. Thank you for the champagne and strawberries. That was a nice surprise to find Wednesday evening. There are some staff/crew members that really made the trip great.

Camp carnival staff made it so much fun for the kids. Jo-Jo was great with the kids and we really enjoyed meeting and talking with Marshal at the welcome party. Adri at the martini bar was great. We went for a martini tasting one night and because of her we went back every night for the rest of the cruise just to try new things and chat with her. We hope to sail with her again as our alchemist. Our dinning staff really made the dinner hour a pleasure. Not sure the spelling Sujan (pronounced season, table 645 on 10/1 sailing) and the two assistants Renaldo and Ketut were great. We were traveling with 4 kids and one had her 14th birthday on the ship and the waiting staff served, joked and entertained them.

There were a few things that I would like to also bring to management’s attention. When reviewing the charges our 14 year old was charged full alcoholic price on some non-alcoholic drinks. We just let it go since it wasn’t worth the wait at customer service since the line was so long the last day. One of the entertainment staff Tyson was plum miserable. At HMC when getting a tender sticker he had a scowl and made a rude reply to my question. We saw him a few other times over the week and he had the same miserable look. We did have a great time and found things to do, but at times it seemed like there was more to do than we could attend and then there were gaps of nothing we wanted to do. Also it seemed there were a lot of kid oriented things like seaside kids movies that started at 6 pm, the common dinner time of families with kids and the daily dinning time for kids club as a group. I didn’t notice things like this on the other ships we sailed. There just seemed like there could be some adjustments to Fun Times. I also with held any comments on the new menu until I had a chance to sail and dine from it myself. I did have a few nights finding one thing to order for a starter or main course. Luckily my great waiters let me order 2 things because I couldn’t decide on just one. 🙂

Overall enjoyed the new menu. Only comment is bbq ribs on formal night? Messy food and good clothes don’t mix. Plus I can’t pass on lobster for ribs. I missed that as my sail away meal. Otherwise food/menu was great. And for the record I didn’t order the shrimp cocktail. Too many other things to try/get than boring boiled shrimp with spice ketchup. Overall, great ship, some outstanding staff members and a fun week made even better by a fabulous senior cruise directors gift.

John says:
Hello Shawn McGoldrick,

Thanks so very much for this comprehensive review. Let me start by saying how disappointed I was to read about Tyson the entertainment staff member who obviously was having a very bad day at work. You know, in the job of entertainment staff and indeed cruise director you can never ever have a bad day at work. The moment you step outside of that cabin door you have to be exactly what our guests expect you to be and that is fun and outgoing and respectful to the guests needs. I promise that this will be shown to Tyson and I know how disappointed he will be and I am sure he will make sure this never happens again, my apologies on his behalf that it did. We have changed the whole movie schedule on the Seaside Theatre to include movie theme nights which are scheduled around families so I think that will be a vast improvement.

By the way ……..I agree……..barbecue ribs on elegant night makes no sense at all and I am working to get that changed. Overall I see that you had a great time and I will be sending your comments to the hotel director for him to pass on your comments to those mentioned. Thanks for taking the time to write and I hope we see you again very soon.

Best wishes.

John

Ruth and Howard P asked:

My husband and I will be sailing on the Carnival Freedom from Fort Lauderdale on 12/24/2011. This will be my first cruise with Carnival. I have a concern about the time of year we are sailing. We do not celebrate Christmas and I have concerns that the ship will be geared only to Christian guests and not other religions. Last year we spent the holidays at a deluxe spa called Canyon Ranch in Tucson and the staff there was trained well and said Happy Holidays rather than Christmas greetings and I hope Carnival workers will do the same. “Happy Holidays” is far less of a presumptuous attitude than narrowing down the holiday to a specific religious preference. Will there be Christian carol music and decorations? If so I hope it is limited to one area of the ship so that it’s not forced upon non Christians everywhere all day and night.

I also have a question about the 25th where I am guessing the dinner will be based on a traditional Christmas fare. If that is so are there other choices than just turkey and is this the formal dress night? I hope you can address these important issues in a timely manner.

John says:
Hello Ruth and Howard P,

First of all thanks so much for choosing to sail on your first Carnival cruise and of course I am positive that this will be the first of many. The ship will be decorated throughout in the traditional Christmas way and there certainly will be Christmas music playing some of the time on the music system across the ship but this will be very much mixed with other music genres as well. The cruise director will have organised a Christmas matinee show which features some traditional Christmas carol music as well as a Hanukah song and some fun things for the kids from Camp Carnival and Circle C, it’s a great show. So does the ship have a Christmas feel, well yes it does but I am sure that’s not going to bother you and you will be able to relax and let the brilliant crew serve and entertain you.

Now as for the Christmas night dinner which is also elegant night, there will be turkey but that is just one of many choices that the chef will have prepared for you and I will post a copy of it today or tomorrow here on the blog thingy. You may have noticed that I have skirted around the issue of what the crew will say as in Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas. That’s because I would like to get some clarification on this and I will answer that part of your question in a moment. Thanks for taking the time to write and hope you both have a wonderful cruise.

Best wishes.

John

Melissa Williams asked:
Hey John!!

I have a couple of questions for you but before I ask I just wanted to tell you how much I LOVE Carnival! I have sailed on the Carnival Sensation, Carnival Valor, Carnival Fantasy (three times), and the Carnival Dream! All of them were fantastic experiences!! We are looking to book again next year on the Elation in March and the Legend in June. Anyway, I was wondering if you could tell me who the cruise director was on the Carnival Sensation in January 2005 and also on the Valor in January of 2008. Also, will you still be on the Carnival Magic in May of next year? I love your blog site and I appreciate all the hard work you do for Carnival and its guests!

Keep up the good work John!

John says:
Hello Melissa Williams,

Thanks so much for those very kind words and for being such a Carnival fan, that’s great news. I won’t be on the Carnival Magic in May as I will be on the new ship Carnival Breeze. To answer your questions the CD on the Carnival Sensation was Paul Santley and the CD on the Carnival Valor was Chris Jefferson. Hope this helps and I also hope you and I get to sail together very soon.

Best wishes.


Lori Yates asked:

Hi John,

My husband, daughter and I look forward to cruising with you on the Carnival Magic in March of next year. While this is our fourth cruise, it will be Addie’s second and she is already talking about Water Works. She was a half-inch too short to ride the Carnival Conquest’s twister slide in April but some workers did let her go. She is concerned she will not be tall enough for the newer slides. I have searched all over Carnival’s website trying to determine the height requirement for the two waterslides on the Magic and I am hoping you could provide me with this.

Thanks again.

Lori Yates

John says:
Hello Lori Yates
I don’t think she has anything to worry about as I am sure in the time between your cruise on the Carnival Conquest and your cruise in March that she will have grown enough to easily reach the required height. I will be on the ship with you so let me know if you have any concerns wont you. Please wish Addie well from me and tell her if she goes down the slides every day then she will win a solid gold plastic trophy from me. See you soon.

Best wishes to all.

John

Donald H asked:

Table for two request. My wife has serious social anxiety issues and has always hated eating in front of other people. That’s why we must have a table for two and not having one would be a total disaster and ruin our cruise. We will be on the Dream 12/17 and are in cabin 2477. Can you send us a surprise as well as it’s my wife’s birthday?

John says:
Hello Donald H,

Thanks for letting me know about your wife’s situation and I have sent an email to the maitre d on the Carnival Dream asking for his assistance and I know he will do his best to help you. I will also be glad to send you a little something to say welcome aboard. Have a great cruise.

Best wishes to you both.

John

Greg asked:
Morning John,

Looking forward to experiencing the 2.0!!!! Unfortunately it won’t be around in time for my upcoming November/December back to back’s on the Carnival Dream. Next one…. And thanks so much for setting up The Chef’s Table for myself and my wife. It’s so very appreciated. One thing that I am loving is the Labs….. Kinda curious — if I were to submit enough genuine, unique, and amazing suggestions, what are the chances of Carnival taking notice and offering me a job sailing the world to test, study, and focus group the hell out of said cruise industry altering conceptions? Huh… Please…. It’s worth a shot isn’t it? 🙂

That said, hoping that we are all benefactors of the ideas that come forward from the Labs and we see some of it put into practice. Kudos to the Beards for having the guts to proceed with such an experiment.

Cheers John!!!!

Greg

John says:
Hello Greg,

You have absolutely nothing to lose so keep those great ideas coming and posting them and let’s see what the beards say. More and more we are using our social media sites that are run by Carnival to see what our guests are saying so I encourage you to keep going for sure. Please let me know if there is anything else you need before you cruise again and thanks for the kind words.

Best wishes.

John

Lisa Landeros asked:

Sixteen of us are cruising on May 27-June 3, 2012 on the Carnival Splendor, our flight is scheduled to leave LAX at 10:15am on the 3rd, and I’m worried about debarking and arriving to LAX late. What is the earliest time we will be allowed to self debark to get to LAX on time for our flights?

John says:
Hello Lisa Landeros,

This is such a tough one to answer because what we do regarding starting debarkation is 100% down to the men and women of Unites States Customs and Border Protection. On paper self assist guests who leave the ship first should start at 8 am but I have seen so many times when this simply hasn’t happened. If you can Lisa I would change your flight to a later time as even if you start debark on time it’s going to be close to you making it. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

Best wishes.

John

Wendy O’ Neill asked:
John,

Can you tell me what I need to do to get a job as a singer in the shows with Carnival? I am talented and have a show reel to present that will blow your mind so I need to know who to present it to!!

John says:
Hello Wendy O’Neill,

Please have a look at our dedicated entertainment web site which will tell you more about the brilliant opportunities we have for singers and how to apply etc. The address is www.carnivalentertainment.com and I wish you much success.

Best wishes,

John

Lassiter asked:

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John says:
Hello Lassiter,

Oops, I seem to have accidently deleted your post. I am sure as you sit in your mother’s basement reading this you will be annoyed that I didn’t post it. Calling me fat was fine because I am. The rest of your post was like a broken pencil…….pointless. I truly don’t care what is being said about me on other cruise sites so unless you have something constructive to say or indeed can post something that is based even a little bit on fact then I will be happy to reply.

Best wishes.

John

That’s all for today. Sorry about the last bit. I hate doing that and certainly don’t ever want to muzzle free speech here and never will but Lassisters comment was written with venom against someone who I consider a friend and who works very hard on our ships to bring our guests huge amounts of fun. Criticism is one thing but a link to a thread that would devastate this person is just not acceptable. Hope you understand. So both the Carnival Inspiration and the Carnival Paradise are starting their repositioning cruises and I thought you might like to see where they are going and who will be entertaining them along the way.

Let’s start with the Carnival Inspiration:

  • Sat, Dec, 03 Tampa Welcome Aboard Show dep @ 4pm
  • Sun, Dec, 04 at sea Peter Gross (Magician) Carl Faulkenberry/Dean Gaines
  • Mon, Dec, 05 Cayman Phil Hughes (Ventriloquist) Carl Faulkenberry/Dean Gaines 8am-5pm
  • Tue, Dec, 06 at sea Shout
  • Wed, Dec, 07 Cartagena Marieann Meringolo (Vocalist) 7am-2pm
  • Thu, Dec, 08 Panama transit Activities Kenny Miller / Mike Lukas 6am-5pm
  • Fri, Dec, 09 at sea Aaron Shaw (Vocalist/Pop Tenor) Kenny Miller / Mike Lukas
  • Sat, Dec, 10 Punta Arenas, C.R. Jane Hunt # 449461 (Violinist) 8am-6pm
  • Sun, Dec, 11 at sea David Meyer (Xylosynth)
  • Mon, Dec, 12 at sea Guest Talent Show
  • Tue, Dec, 13 at sea Fiesta Latina
  • Wed, Dec, 14 Puerto Vallarta Jac Rene # 270140 (Hypnotist) Tim O’Rourke/Jerome Kelly 8am-4pm
  • Thu, Dec, 15 Cabo Tyler Linkin (Juggler) Tim O’Rourke/Jerome Kelly 8am-3pm
  • Fri, Dec, 16 at sea Jerome Dabney (Vocalist)
  • Sat, Dec, 17 Long Beach

And now the Carnival Paradise:

  • Mon, Nov, 28 Long Beach Welcome Aboard Show 8am-4pm
  • Tue, Nov, 29 at sea Xtreme Country Stanley Ullman/Larry “Omaha” Barrientos
  • Wed, Nov, 30 Cabo Jac Rene Park (Hypnotist) Stanley Ullman/Larry “Omaha” Barrientos 12pm-7pm
  • Thu, Dec, 01 PVR Tyler Linkin (Juggler) 11am-7pm
  • Fri, Dec, 02 at sea Marieann Meringolo (Vocalist) 10am-6pm
  • Sat, Dec, 03 at sea Jane Hunt (Violinist) Seth Buchwald/Merl Hobbs
  • Sun, Dec, 04 at sea Production Singers-Emma Beckitt & Patrick Buckley Seth Buchwald/Merl Hobbs
  • Mon, Dec, 05 Puntarenas Activities 8am-7pm
  • Tue, Dec, 06 at sea Aaron Shaw (Vocalist/Pop Tenor)
  • Wed, Dec, 07 Panama Canal Guest Talent Show 6am-5pm
  • Thu, Dec, 08 Cartagena Peter Gross (Magician) 9am-4pm
  • Fri, Dec, 09 at sea Shout Carl Faulkenberry/Dean Gaines
  • Sat, Dec, 10 Cayman Phil Hughes (Ventriloquist) Carl Faulkenberry/Dean Gaines 7am-4pm
  • Sun, Dec, 11 at sea Marcus Anthony # 261820 (Vocalist)
  • ***Change of home ports***
  • Mon, Dec, 12 Tampa 7am-4pm

As you can see we are interchanging some of the acts between the two ships and don’t forget also that Mr Radu is on the Carnival Paradise and you can expect see great photos this week.

Back to the Q&A and that was an interesting point raised by Ruth and more on that in a moment. However, Christmas has come to most of our ships and by the end of this week the entire fleet from Carnival Fantasy to Carnival Magic will be dripping in holiday cheers. A lot of people think it’s the crew that put up the decorations but they don’t as this job is done by “Professional Christmas Decorators” who have beards and sandals and who make a living by decorating other people’s Christmas trees.

Don’t you find that amazing? That someone has persuaded a bank to loan them the money to start this business by telling the money lenders that there is a demand for such a thing, let alone such a volume of demand that it would overcome the …….ummmmm……somewhat seasonal nature of Christmas? I can only presume that they charge Carnival a huge amount of money and although the decorations look good it is surely something the crew of each ships could do themselves and probably make it look good and having fun doing so. Just a thought Mr Cahill.

And let’s see now as promised what we will be serving for our festive menu. Click HERE to check it out.

Anyway, back to Ruth’s questions. Obviously we have to honour and respect everyone’s beliefs and I have given this a lot of thought (well, 20 minutes while I had a cup of tea) Janet and I think I am ready to give you my thoughts on this. The world is changing. We see this everyday whether it be what we can say what we can do where we can smoke and where we can publicly display our beliefs. Just this past weekend I watched the BBC News here where the mayor of an ethnic part of London proclaimed that it was illegal to call the huge tree in the town square a Christmas tree but instead that it should be referred to as a holiday tree. This to me isn’t right but it is not a surprise as the politically correct world we live in tries to make Christmas religiously neutral.

So what will happen on the ships? Well I asked a senior beard for confirmation on this today and honestly, he didn’t know if any instruction at all had been sent to the ships. However, after a brief chat it was decided that the captain and cruise director in their announcements and the crew in their greetings should wish the guests a “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.”

While I think it’s important that we respect everyone’s beliefs Christmas is……….well Christmas and yet I am sure there are some folks who won’t be happy until you and I are walking around your local shopping mall or sitting on Promenade Deck listening to Johnny Mathis sing “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like the Annual Midwinter Celebration of Giving,” or Bing Crosby crooning about dreaming of a “White Holiday.” Having our crew say Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas is surely OK…………what are your thoughts on this everyone?
So tomorrow, December 6, 2011 I will have been married to Heidi for eight amazing years. Now because our wedding anniversary is on a Tuesday and because I have to write blogs and Facebook and because my parents couldn’t baby sit on Tuesday either I decided to take Heidi to dinner to celebrate our time together and it was ………….well………..awful.

You know occasionally I read negative comments about our food onboard whether it be selection on the menu or the quality of the preparation. These comments are rare, no they really are. The “food was cold” comment seems to be the most common one but even those have become less over the years as we have found ways for the most part to conquer that concern. When though I do hear the occasional negative comment about the food I often think to myself that the people doing the complaining must really be food snobs so when last night I was presented with a meal that was truly terrible then I sort of understood where they were coming from.

Kye has been with us for two and half years and with her demands and my traveling Heidi and I rarely get to have dinner together. It was then with some excitement that we headed to what is considered the best restaurant in Essex. I won’t write the name here only because I did that once on the blog about an awful meal myself and some of the bloggers had experienced in New Orleans before BC2 and I spent the next few weeks defending myself to the owner. I would never want to go back there but if I did I am sure my food would taste like sh*t because the owner would have taken a large one on my Beef Bourguignon. I had been recommended this restaurant by my mate Alan who is, thanks to this recommendation, currently walking with a limp.

Now the menu was one of those new fangled modern things where desserts and main courses seemed to have been mixed together. I fancied the roast pork but it came with pistachio and port wine vinegar sauce, the lamb came with “drizzled orange sauce,” and the Chateaubriand came with foie gras. I hate foie gras, it is one of the worst most vile tasting things in the world. I would rather eat Judge Judy’s toe clippings……on toast. Why couldn’t they just offer me a steak with bugger all sauce or pork that had been drizzled with nothing but a dollop of mustard. Why do restaurants do this kind of thing? Maybe I am wrong, maybe this is what people want. Maybe we should serve a Guy Fieri burger that’s been drizzled with chocolate melting cake or offer a chocolate and caramel reduction to shove on top of the elegant night lobster tail.

Heidi ordered the sea bass which she described by saying it “was as fresh as the pair of underpants I had arrived home in after my 9 hour flight from Miami.” I asked the waiter if he could give me the pork without the pistachio and port wine vinegar. His face looked like I had just asked if I could have rumpy pumpy with his wife.

All in all, a fairly disastrous culinary experience, which is one thing I can shrug off. What I didn’t care about, however, was the extremely bright lighting and the rudeness of the staff. The waiter was a British snob and was flippant and obnoxious and definitely had a chip on his shoulder and was lucky not to have a foot in his arse.

You know when you go out to a restaurant you want to be treated like a king while they bring you mountains of incomprehensible food that you couldn’t make at home, even if you wanted to but the food was far too pompous for me.

Give me a roast beef and Yorkshire pudding anytime………give me a porterhouse steak from the steakhouse or a pig patty and onion rings from Guy’s Burger Joint. And give me the service the Carnival waiters lavish upon you and the fun they have doing it.

Overall, it seemed that our big night did not go well……however……..there was one saving grace. ………the gift I bought Heidi.

Now men, take a tip from your old mate John. Never ever buy your wife anything that needs a plug. I did this once when I bought her a Blu Ray DVD player. The look on her face was the same as an Amish chap in Radio Shack. Utter confusion.

Jewelry? Well, no, because for reasons I’ve never fully understood, jewelry shops never advertise their prices. Which means you need a basic grasp of what I call the “cheap git” technique as you try to pretend the reason you don’t want the diamond- encrusted Cartier watch is because she needs to see it herself before you buy it….. not because it costs $76,000.

Personalized luggage or stationery is fine, but this needs to be ordered in advance which is hard to do when I have been traveling these past two months. And as for furniture…….well that may include a trip to IKEA and I would rather let my wife spend the afternoon with Herman Cain than go there.

At round about this point, the modern gentleman will start to think about getting some candles. We all know that girls like to spend hours having baths in the semi darkness but a candle really didn’t seem substantial enough for eight years of marriage……..so………mmmmmmmmm how about music?

I’m afraid I’m similarly selfish when it comes to music. My wife is forever buying CDs by bands I’ve never heard of and I know she wants the Maroon 5 album which is fine but she also wants the Michael Buble Christmas Album, but if I were to buy it for her she’d play it and then I’d have to listen to it as well and she would have to be the one to clean up the vomit………..so that’s not fair to her is it?

It was as I was getting desperate that I had a brain wave. I bought Heidi a Pandora charm bracelet with a few charms including the letters “K-Y-E.”

I gave it to her at the end of the awful dinner and she loved it. Problem is……….I have bugger all for her for Christmas.

I have been married to Heidi for eight years. She has put up with so much including my traveling and being away and me being in the spotlight while she is happy to be behind the scenes doing all the hard work. I love you Heidi so very much and being married to you has made me a far, far better person. Happy anniversary Heidi, I love you very much and always will

And if the dinner, the gift and those heartfelt words doesn’t get me some rumpy pumpy, I don’t know what will.

Goodnight.

Your friend,

John

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.

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