Today, I am going to highlight some of the comments we have received from guests about their cruise experience. Now let me start by trumpeting very loudly that in all the 14 inaugural cruises I have been privileged to do as cruise director, that the Carnival Breeze has (touch wood) been the best by a long, long way with oodles of wonderful comments and lashings of praise. Why? Well, because the Carnival Breeze is our best ship yet. The end.

However, as I promised 349 years ago when I first started this blog, I would always tell you the good, the bad and the ugly and so today we will continue that tradition. Now, obviously, I never reveal the identity of the person who made the comment. They are all true, I promise, and I post these not to ridicule them in any way but to show you what it is like behind the scenes, behind the crew only door which, of course, is what this blog thingy has always been about. OK, here’s the plan. We will look at one comment now and then I will have some comments on my own about it and then we will do some Q and A and then I will show you three more comments from Carnival Breeze guests. OK with you? Right then………let’s crack on.

REF: _______
GUEST NAME:________
DATED: 6/5/12

Mrs._____ stated that she is having difficult times on the ship as she could not turn the lights on in her stateroom. GSA advised that the cabin key must be put into the space by the door for this to work. Guest also says that her television is too complicated. GSA went to Mrs. ___’s stateroom to show her how to use the remote control for the television.


The first part is my fault as during my welcome aboard announcements on embarkation afternoon, I totally forgot to mention that you have to use the cabin key to activate the lights in the cabins. I should also point out that it great to see the effort made by the guest services associate as she went with the guest to her cabin to show her how to use the remote control. But at the same time……the guest is right because the days of a simple remote from any TV on land or at sea, in a hotel or at home, have vanished. Have you tried to make a modern TV work? It’s sodding impossible. And after you have minced around with the 27 different remote controls for three hours, you eventually have to do your best impression of the French army….and surrender. You then have to get an expert to show you and then it still won’t work because you pretended to understand what he showed you but being a man, you are too embarrassed to admit that you have absolutely no bloody clue what the heck he is talking about and after he leaves….you still have no idea what to press on the 27 remote control devices.

Right now, I am sitting here… my underpants…. looking at the remote control for the TV in my cabin here on the Carnival Breeze. It has 28 buttons, including one marked “COMP/(rgb 7).” Any idea what that does? I don’t. I do understand the one marked “power,” but this does not actually turn the television on. So far as I can tell, nothing does, which is why ever since I have come on board one month ago, the thing has just sat there, as turned on as I am watching Calvyn doing naked hip thrusts in my general direction.

This is the world we live in, though. Nothing is simple anymore. Take the simple joy of making a good old cup of Joe, as you Americans would say. For many years, this involved putting some water in a kettle and boiling it. But now kettles are seen as old fashioned and as pointless as a broken pencil, which is why at home in my house in Essex we have a multi-buttoned aluminum (pronounced correctly) panel thingy set into the wall. The idea is that you fill it with beans and the boiling water is instant. Sounds great, but the instruction book is 200 pages long and, I’m sorry, but if I read through that, I might as well bugger off to Starbucks. Heidi’s new kitchen has an extractor fan above the stove and has five settings. Why? What’s wrong with off and sodding on?  Other things? Well, I can’t open the garage door because it’s remote control and it will only work if you lean your entire body out of the car window and point it at the garage. The alarm system? Nope. That has more codes than Da Vinci and every time I turn it on or off, the thing starts beeping and then explodes into a noise so loud that it would wake the dead.

Even the new PA system in my cabin here is 10 times more complicated than the one I had on Carnival Magic, which had an on and off switch and a button you pressed to de select certain areas of the ship. This one on Carnival Breeze has more buttons than there are on the bridge including one ominous red button that has a label on it that shouts STOP MSG EMERGENCY! I have no idea what it does and have no intention of ever finding out.

I realised how pleasant it must have been to live in the stone age…in a cave……….in your underpants ……waiting for your wife to cook you a H82seaugoasaurus steak over an open fire before dragging her by the hair to the bed cave for a spot of rumpy pumpy…those were the days.

More guest comments shortly but first………some of your questions.

Kris Tormoehlen asked:
Hi John! I am wondering if you can help me find a waiter? I don’t know if this is something you can do or not. My husband and I cruised on the Carnival Dream on Sept 11, 2010. We had YTD and sat every evening with a head waiter by the name of Julian. We absolutely LOVED him! Julian was Romanian with a cue ball bald head and bushy black eyebrows. 🙂 Is that enough info that you might be able to find out if he’s still with Carnival and what cruise ship he may be on in December 2012?

John says:
Hello Kris Tormoehlen

Thanks for writing to me and I checked our records and I do show a Julian who was on the Carnival Dream in September 2010. He has since though left the company. Now, I don’t know if it’s the Julian you refer to because I don’t have photos on my system of the crew, just contract dates so the Julian you refer to may still be with us but without a last name, I cannot be certain. I am sorry I cannot help further and if there is anything else I can do for you, please let me know.

Andrew Castello asked:
Thinking of canceling my cruise on Carnival Freedom in August because Carnival has fired all the calypso bands and now has no live music on the sun deck. Calypso music is what cruising is all about and I am now considering taking my business to Royal because they have calypso bands.

John says:
Hello Andrew Castello

I am afraid that your information is not correct. While some ships have replaced the calypso duos with soloists who play at the RedFrog Rum Bar and the BlueIguana Tequila Bars for ships with the 2.0 upgrades, many of the ships still have live calypso music. This includes the Carnival Freedom which when you sail will be called “DEVINE SOUNDZ.” So I hope this information will have you even more excited about your Carnival cruise and if there is anything I can do for you beforehand, please let me know.  Best wishes.


Walter Kawane asked:
Only at Carnival would you put an African American family from Delaware at the same table as two white families from Puerto Rico who speak no English. This is what happened on our Carnival Victory cruise and our meals were spent eating as quickly as we could because we had nothing in common, not even language. We have a very bad taste in our mouth about this!!!!!!!!!!!!

John says:
Hello Walter Kawane

I am very sorry to read this and I do hope that you had a great cruise despite your concerns at the dinner table. In the maître d’s defence, I should point out that the information they use to seat guests does not include the ability to speak English because in this case, the guests were from Puerto Rico it will show as U.S. citizen on the information the maître d will have used to assign seating. I wonder also if you asked to be moved to another table because I am sure this is something they may have been able to do for you. Anyway, I do hope you had fun and that we see you all again soon.  Best wishes.


Trevor Jones asked:
John, we will be joining you on the Carnival Breeze and wanted to know if us UK passengers will be able to watch the Euro Championship football games while on the ship? We are very excited to be cruising with you. Thanks.

John says:
Hello Trevor Jones

Sorry for the late reply to this post and, yes, indeed we will have the games for you to enjoy both at the casino bar and in your staterooms and some even on the Seaside Theatre big screen. I will see you soon and look forward to showing you this great ship. Best wishes.


John Rozov asked:
You were right, John, we really did enjoy the Carnival Liberty and the new 2.0 stuff you spoke about was awesome. We enjoyed BlueIguana Cantina, the Mexican burrito and taco restaurant on Lido Deck, as well as Guy’s Burger Joint, they were delicious. The breakfast taco is what I got every morning along with huevos rancheros. The deli was great too, especially the pastrami corned beef sandwich. As we did not receive a comment card, can you tell someone that our room steward, Lizbeth, was the best ever and that the dynamic duo of Ramon and Wayan in the dining room were also the best we have had. It was a great cruise made even better by your generosity of a trophy and some champagne, which we enjoyed in celebration of our anniversary. Thank you and we are already talking about our next cruise which I think will be on the Carnival Magic in December.

John says:
Hello John Rozov

Thanks so much for this wonderful post and this great advert for the Carnival Liberty. I am so glad you had fun and I hope we will see you as you suggested on the Carnival Magic in December. Meanwhile, I will send your kind words to the ship so those mentioned get to see your fantastic words of praise. Best wishes to you both.


Jerald Pendleton asked:
Hi John –

We got off the Splendor this last weekend. It was another wonderful cruise – our first on the Splendor and it was indeed splendid. We especially loved the cabin steward, “I Kutet,” who took the time to learn our names and greet us every day. We hope to be back on Splendor the tail end of this summer for a family event.  We hope we get the same wonderful dining room stewards

we had this time – Zoe, Rewel and Mere. We are becoming serious fans of Carnival.

Jerald Pendleton

PS – Stay politically incorrect.  Please?

John says:
Hello Jerald Pendleton

That’s brilliant and I hope that you do indeed become true Carnival fans. I am going to pass on your review to the ship and they will be very happy to read that you had such a great time. I hope we see you again and until then I will keep doing what I do in the hope that you will continue to enjoy my silly writings. Best wishes and I am here if you need anything.


Gary Hayman asked:

“Are the stars out tonight? I don’t know if it’s cloudy or bright…” One of the grandeurs of Carnival cruising occurs when you are way out to sea, away from city lights, and you look up to the night sky, on a clear night, and see a gazillion of stars, planets, and moons so clearly that it provides an utterly ‘cosmic experience.’ [Except recently for Pluto, which has fallen out of planetary favor — but that’s a Disney problem.] That is, on the older ships of yore, that weren’t ‘lit up’ (literally and drunkenly), their lights NOT obscuring a good view of the night sky — which modern cruise ship and city land lights currently do. One used to be able to walk the Lido deck and the other open decks above, and have a clear view of the night heavens. Not now, as our floating cities’ lights obscure the sky.

Sometimes the savvy passenger can find a less lit bow or stern SECRET area that can only be visited via the end of a certain cabin corridor, the identity of which is cached in the armored safe of guest services and is not reflected on the ship’s deck plan received by passengers at boarding. Here, viewing the night sky has a greater possibility of success.

One of the major culprits interfering with great night sky viewing is the string of the attractive large white chain of lights stretching from front to aft draped over masts, funnels, and antennae compelling our pupils to constrict, letting in less light, causing the stars to disappear. [They really didn’t go away — it’s just that we can’t see them well, but CDs know that already.]

SUGGESTIONS: [You may want to forward these to your ‘beards’ in Miami.]

Here are a couple of suggestions that could make the night sky observation a ‘Program Event’ for Carnival — and it wouldn’t cost Carnival a penny and would make the CD and the Captain — heroes.

(1) Identify those existing normal best observation points on the ship and provide directions (in the Fun Times or elsewhere) of how to reach them. Don’t keep them a secret.

(2) On each ship, on one or two evenings, schedule a short ‘Sky Watching’ event where the ‘allowed’ outside lights (consistent with maritime rules and safety) above eye level on the Lido and higher decks are extinguished for 10 or 15 minutes (particularly the long high draped light and funnel lights). This should provide a clearer view of the sky on a screen many times larger than the big Lido TV screen — at least for a short period of time.

(3) Make this occurrence a destination event where an informed crew member, during the lessened light periods, would point out stars and constellations for the interested passengers for 10 minutes or so or even give an informative outdoor Sky Lecture.

(4) Incorporate the above in your Camp Carnival program for the children.


Any one, or all, of the above three, would add to the passengers’ enjoyable experience. And it is there for the having — once the lights are dimmed.

I bet that some of the cruisers haven’t seen the night sky, in its REAL splendor, in years, and the experience would be another highlight of their cruise.

Gary Hayman (Carnival Platinum)
[w/31 cruises and one more scheduled — at the moment]

John says:
Hello Gary Hayman

What a wonderful post and so eloquently written. I know that star gazing is something that many enjoy, yet with all the current rules on navigation lights, this is not easy to do. Your suggestions are excellent and I have sent them to the captain here and also the senior beard in charge of marine operations to see what they have to say. I will let you know the outcome but reading your post makes me hope we can find a way to do this. Thanks once again and thank you also for your amazing loyalty and long may that continue. Best wishes.


Linda Clawson asked:
Hi John.  I just returned from a cruise on the Carnival Freedom and it was a great time.  The customer service was beyond words.  My question for you is, could there be a way that any left over computer minutes could be donated to the employees so they could be in touch with their families for free?

John says:
Hello Linda Clawson

What a very kind thought that is, Linda, and I quickly spoke to the internet manager here to ask him if this is possible but as the crew and guest systems are so different and run on different codes I am afraid this can’t be done.  That is such a kind gesture and thank you so much for thinking of our crew. I am very happy you had fun and I hope we see you again soon. Best wishes.


Stacey Holder asked:
Hi John! We are going on the Carnival Freedom for our honeymoon, sailing 6/24/12 from Ft Lauderdale. We are stopping at Grand Cayman, and want your opinion….should we pre-book an excursion for there, or is that destination one that we can just go to the island and make plans on our own that day? And if you do recommend an excursion, which one?  We love beach, boats and do want to see the stingrays. What’s your opinion? Thank you!

John says:
Hello Stacey Holder

I am so glad I saw this before you cruise so that I can wish you a happy honeymoon and also to mention that I do suggest you book an excursion to see the stingrays. There are combinations with the turtle farm, an island tour or just the stingray sandbar tour but swimming with these amazing creatures will be something you both will always remember and I hope you get the chance to do it. I wish you a brilliant cruise and a wonderful life together. Best wishes.


Michelle Rintz asked:
Can you tell me when you might have the cruise director calendar out for October 2012? We will be on the Carnival Dream. Thank you.


John says:
Hello Michelle Rintz

The schedule is currently up until August and will be updated in the next few weeks and as soon as it is, I will post it here on the blog thingy. I wish you a brilliant cruise and please let me know if I can help with anything. Best wishes.


Tony Sullivan asked:

As a proud dad, my oldest daughter is getting married on July 7, 2012. An emotional day no doubt, but they will be cruising on the new Breeze July 21, 2012.  They are in cabin 2361.  As they are newlyweds and on their honeymoon, perhaps you look them up? I have told them to look forward to having yourself as cruise director on their cruise and are in for a treat!


John says:
Hello Tony Sullivan

I am sure you must be proud and I promise to do my best to make sure they have a brilliant time here on this new ship. Please would you ask them to leave me a note at the guest services desk when they are on board so I can send them a honeymoon gift and wish them the best of times?

Best wishes to you all.



And that’s all for today.

Let’s continue with some guest comments remembering that I do so only because I want you to continue to look at what happens behind the crew only door.

REF: 9212AE2709
GUEST NAME:________
DATED: 6/6/12

Mrs._____ called the GSD stating that she was upset that the Dive In movie cut off half way through. Tonight started watching Sherlock Holmes at 8 pm and at 9 pm first a George Lopez commercial cut’s off the move and a new movie starts right away. Guest is upset and asked to speak with CD.


Yep, this is a very valid comment and, once again, it’s all down to technology. The older ships have a simple system that work with the now old fashioned DVD but here we have a new blue teeth type of thing that sends the movie from the server and then ……well………..I have no idea what happens except it is not working but I am told by the technical people that it should be repaired and working by tomorrow. I have spoken to the guest and apologised and have also apologised to all the guests during my evening announcement. This is one of those things that is unavoidable and wherever technology is present, you will have days when things simply don’t work. I really hope we get it working tomorrow because with the new branded Dive In movie blankets and popcorn boxes to complement this feature, it really is a great place to watch a movie.

And on we go.

REF: 9212AE2709
GUEST NAME:________
DATED: 6/6/12

Mr_____ stated that he had not been told that the taxis in Athens would not accept U.S. dollars and that he had to walk back to the ship to get euros. Mr_______ also said that the ATM machine was charging him $6 to use and that this was an unfair charge.


This is something I have seen every season we have been in Europe and I am sure it won’t be the last time I see it while the Carnival Breeze is in Europe either. Obviously in my talk, I mention that it’s the Euro that is the currency (except in Dubrovnik, Croatia) and I guess I have always felt that it would be obvious to everyone that another country’s currency would not be accepted in a foreign port of call. But each year I am proved wrong and there are still those who truly expect that it will be. There is a $6 charge to use the ATM and as I always remind people during my travel talk, we are a cruise ship, not a bank. I have yet to speak to the guest about this and may just leave this one to the guest services team as there is very little I can add.

We have had some other concerns from guests including a couple of comments about it being too warm in the forward dining room which is being looked at today and three cabins that have had some noise issues from entertainment spaces above and we are looking after those guests completely. That aside, it has been (touch wood again) a remarkable cruise with both Ana, the wonderful guest services chief purser manager, and I talking about how easier this has been than Carnival Magic’s first voyage and I have to say once again that the praise for the ship, her crew, the design and decor and all the new features keep rolling in.

So here on the blog we have surpassed 14 million views and on Facebook we are approaching 27,000 “like” thingies. And it seems as these figures keep going up, I am attracting more and more posts that are personal attacks on me. Now Mary and Mischelle, two brilliant ladies who I adore because they work so hard to manage this page and Carnival’s Funville and Facebook page, as well, delete these comments or will send them to me to ask if I want to respond. They also have to monitor the Carnival pages which are a huge task. And it’s getting harder. Take yesterday, when some mindless bastard with the IQ of a prune, thought it would be hilarious if they posted a pornographic video on Carnival’s Facebook page. Then yesterday I received a post telling me I was fat and ugly. OK, true, I am but what’s the point of telling me this and why did someone feel it was necessary to post such things?

I used to think that there were just one or two people who did this kind of thing. But I am wrong, of course. Because as this blog and my Facebook page keep growing, I have become aware that there are many such people with bugger all friends or indeed bugger all life whose days and nights are spent going online to insult a bunch of people they’ve never met.

Most of the time, I ignore these comments but, occasionally, I get very angry indeed. The other day someone posted something about me that was so cruel about me and my family that I felt like finding this person and giving them the business with a chainsaw. But, of course, I couldn’t because, firstly, I don’t own a chainsaw and secondly because the person who suggested that Kye was not my daughter and much worse was of course anonymous. He posted using a screen name, in this case “Craterface4.” He could live in Alabama or Australia, I will never know and will never be able to inflict the pain that I want upon him or her for that matter. We have banned him/her using the IP address thingy to recognise his computer address but I am sure as I write he or she has moved on to trolling someone else online.

I wonder if this person would come up to me in person and say, “God, you’re fat and ugly and your daughter is, as well?” No, of course they wouldn’t. And yet this person sees bugger all wrong with doing so on the Internet. If I say something that offends someone on stage or here on the blog or on Facebook, you know where I am. You can find me. You can demand an apology and you will get one or you can write to Gerry Cahill and demand I be fired. But the person who writes scandalous things about me and my family or the person who posts pornographic material on Carnival’s Facebook page, there is nothing I can do about it.

But there should be, I really do think there should be. When people write stuff that is so cruel or so hateful, then I should be able to get their details from Uncle Google. When porn is posted on Carnival’s page, we should be able to locate the poster with a couple of clicks of the mouse.

Obviously, that is never going to happen, is it? But why is it fair that “Billynomates” can say what he likes about you knowing that he will get away with it. I cannot imagine what it must be like to be famous and have thousands of people Twitter how much they hate you. I have just a few but my actor friend Kevin gets constant hate posts and woe to anyone who is rich and has worked hard to get where they are, the Internet has opened a whole new way for jealous bastards to pour scorn on them.

Look, I’m not suggesting for a moment that H82Seaugo should not be allowed to laugh about the vastness of my stomach and my shortcoming as brand ambassador. I am also not saying that people should not be allowed to say that I use the word “brilliant” too much because they have the right to do so and, in a strange way, I respect them for saying so. As far as Carnival Cruise Lines and what we do and what I say and do as CD and as brand ambassador, our guests are entitled to say whatever they like. But the interweb thingy should have a worldwide rule that people have to use their real names and we should ban web anonymity. That way I can visit the person who said the most repulsive things about my daughter and blow torch their nipples off.

Oh, and then I would visit the person who posted pornographic material on Carnival’s Facebook page and make them watch a video of me and Calvyn doing naked Roman Greco wrestling.



Your friend,

Comment Policy

Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous, unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.

84 Responses to Carnival Breeze Inaugural Comments… And A Rant About Trolls

  1. Thomas Kennedy says:

    John, if you were serious about not knowing what that button does, it is to change the imput so the tv can be a computrr monitor. Cheers

  2. Linda (Mom of DJ) says:


    Glad things are going well.

    Yes, there will be glitches…but that is why they call it traveling. It is meant to be an adventure.

    As for the mindless cowards that post hurtful things while hiding behind their lack of self esteem and miserable lives….
    take heart.

    Be thankful that you only have to read the occassional post….these cretins have to wake up every morning and live with their life as defined by Urbanlife :

    “A Person that is: brainless, stupid, child-like, and full of pointless information that makes no sense and appeals only to other cretins.”

    That pretty much sums them up!!

    Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)

  3. John and Susan says:

    John….Hidden behind an electronic curtain people say things they would never say to your face. I’m with you! The internet needs to take away anonymity.

    John & Susan from Frisco, Tx

  4. EFM says:

    Terrible. I cannot stand that people are so cruel. Your daughter is adorable and lucky that she has such a caring family. Guess someone is jealous. Dont let them bring you down.

    • Bettypc says:

      Trolls live under bridges… That is why the cruel people who say lousy things to people who have never done anything to them – are called TROLLS. Please don’t let them get you down. Jealousy is all it is.

  5. Bill Heck says:

    Hello John:

    Odd isn’t it how some entertain themselves by posting rude or totally false comments under a screen name.

    Looking forward to the Q and A regarding the VIFP program. This should get some blood boiling. Especially if the airline guy is writing them.

    Glad the Carnival Breeze is a good ship.

    Your Friend

    Bill Heck (not a screen name)

  6. Mary Fortin says:

    Hey John! I don’t generally comment on your blog tho I do enjoy them. However today I have 2 points to comment on. First is in regards to the poster who complained that he had nothing (including language) in common with his seat mates at dinner. On our last cruise, on the Legend last Feb, I had asked you to set my husband and myself up with a table for 2 in the MDR. You promised to do your best, but when we went to dinner the second nite, our table mates were present. We had nothing in common with these people; we are a couple in our late 40’s with grown children; we are somewhat experienced cruisers, with 7 cruises under our belts, and our only language is English (not the Queen’s English mind you). The couple we sat with were in their 20’s, first time cruisers, small children at home, and spoke very broken English secondary to their native Spanish. John we got along famously! We communicated in some very imaginative ways, with the help of our fantastic head waiter William. We shared some of our knowledge of cruising with them and they let us see again the wonder of experiencing a cruise for the first time. We made new friends and had a wonderful time. The point is to open your mind and enjoy whatever comes your way while traveling. The new and different are the best things.
    My second comment is shorter. I agree with the stargazers’ wonderful post. My very 1st cruise was in an inside cabin on a very small cruise ship. During the nite claustrophobia set in while trying to sleep in the closet assigned to me as a cabin. I grabbed my pillow & blanket and climbed to the topmost deck where I could not see my hand in front of my face. I felt around til I located a deck chair, then wrapped myself in my blanket and settled down to enjoy the most amazing show I have ever seen. This is an experience I will never forget and I suggest “star decks” every time I fill out a comment card. Please pass this along to the beards in support of star gazing on all ships. Thank you, and WIWT (wish I were there).

    • Deb says:

      Hi Mary, I wish everyone had such a great perspective about the diversity of other people, including table mates. Perhaps Mr Kawame should have taken a moment to get to know people instead of wolfing down dinner just to make a beeline out of the MDR.

    • Ron Moyer says:

      Very nice. A breath of fresh air it felt like to read this.

  7. Mark says:

    HI John-

    Kris Tormoehlen was looking for a waiter named Julian. It sounds like the waiter we had on Freedom in January 2012

  8. Dan VanWinkle says:

    I am a loyal platinum member and stockholder. i can’t believe that in all my cruises, I haven’t had the pleasure of having you as my cruise director. I just want to say – BRAVO. Keep up the great work, you are the BEST brand ambassador Carnival has. If you track down where craterface lives, let me know. As a citizen of hurricane country, a chain saw I do have…. Now back to the remote for you!

  9. William Bowlin says:

    Greetings, John.

    It is unfortunate that so many use the mask of anonymity to do or post things that they would not other wise. I wanted to let you know on behalf of my wife and myself that you really do make a significant difference in making hundreds of people smile each and every day and all your efforts to maintain diplomacy and a higher sense of ‘honour’ are not lost on many of us. Keep up the awesome work.

    I wanted to follow up with a question posed earlier on your Facebook thingie about the Excursions with Transfer to Fort Lauderdale airport following the Breeze Transatlantic which we are eagerly looking forward to this November. I’d noticed that four of the listed excursions offer transfer to Miami International, but only one is offering service to FLL. Any ideas if there is a reason for that or if other options will open up? Our flight isn’t until the evening and we’d love to put a great cap onto our 16 days of adventure, but aren’t necessarily excited by the idea of walking around in South Beach? Anything you can tell us is appreciated, as this is the last piece of our trip we need to put together.

    Many thanks in advance, and looking forward to a brilliant cruise aboard the brilliant Carnival Breeze in Novembrilliant.

    Cheers, and bon voyage!

    • Edvado says:

      I am in the same boat (literally and figuratively) as you, and have done some digging. The one post cruise excursion that delivers you to FLL has a VERY poor set of reviews. Things like “the bus dumps you alone in a bad neighborhood.” I’m looking into renting a car and driving to the beach, or the “River Walk” area of town. Alternately a cab ride to the same destinations might be in order. I wish you the best, and hope we BOTH find something to do during those long hours.

      • William Bowlin says:


        I told my wife about the other options available to people flying out of MIA and she was halfway considering changing our flights back to leave from there instead. Naturally, that isn’t very pragmatic and the problem that sea-legged individuals have after half a month sailing across the globe is luggage. We would like to book an excursion instead of spending the entire day at FLL, but we need to know if we should ‘slum it’ in South Beach, buy a shuttle transfer (almost the same price as an Excursion), or, as mentioned, rent a vehicle.

        Looking forward to meeting your party on the ship. Will definitely be a memorable cruise.

  10. Benno-Pops says:

    Hi John
    We are Brits booked on Liberty 14/7/12 and are scheduled to meet up aboard with our son who is holidaying from Canada. This is the first time we will have seen him since 2005. Do you have any tips that might make this cruise REALLY special? We have already booked with the chefs evening, but are looking for that extra special event that will tell our son and his wife how much they are missed….

  11. Michele Maragni says:

    Hi John! Mom( Eleanor) and I miss you! we have still been Cruising on your wonderful ships, 16 so far and counting,Sept 29th my Birthday! my huband ,son & I will be on the Dream again!, and Mom and I will be going April 6th to Aruba on the Freedom( we can’t wait !)Mom and I were on the Ecstacy in April, and cannot begin to tell you how fantastic we were treated! I am writing to ask you a favor, if you can give one peticular staff member, his name is Andrey Chernobay, a special thank you, as he went so much out of his way to make Mom and I have a fantastic time on our cruise,this Cruise was a little difficult for us as Mom is in a wheelchair and I had just had two hip replacements! we are actually praying he will be on our April Cruise on the Freedom, any chance? he is so wonderful we have been keeping in touch with Emails! Thank You John! all our love to you and the family!!! Michele & Mom ( Eleanor)

  12. Patrick Kelly says:

    @Linda Clawson- That is such a nice gesture.
    @John Heald- Maybe this is something that Carnival should look into. If someone has extra time, Carnival should allow the time to be transfered to a crew member of the patrons choice. Much like a gratuity. Or even if the extra time cannot be transfered, maybe set up a system to purchase time for crew. Someone could purchase a voucher for time and present it to the crew member.

    Thank you for your time.
    Patrick Kelly

    • William Bowlin says:

      That is a pretty nifty idea! Gratuity in time to communicate with their families!

  13. Kathy G says:

    Hello John!

    I must say I agree with Eric, you left us with an image that will linger in our minds eye for some time! LOL!

    Gary’s comment above, about the lights, reminded me of something I have been wanting to ask. When I sail on my Carnival Ships, I always book a balcony cabin. One of the best times of my day is at night, right before bedtime, gazing at the stars and listening to the calming sounds of the sea. The lights from a neighbors balcony can ruin this experience. I don’t mind if it’s early, and they are on their balcony reading. It’s when they go away and leave the lights on – or turn them on late at night. I leave my curtains open so the sun will wake me in the morning – but if my neighbor leaves his lights on all night (or far into the night) there are no stars to see and the curtain must be closed.

    That was a very long prelude to my question, wasn’t it? Question – would Carnival consider a curfew for balcony lights?

    As always, I enjoy your blog and Facebook! Thank you for being you!


  14. Mark Levine says:

    One of the special things about an inaugural voyage is that things DO go wrong: I know how frustrating it is to have something special and new like the popcorn and blankets for the Dive In movies, and have the film somehow go awry. But really, it’s also special to just HAVE something go awry. Everyone talks about everything going perfectly, but what fun is that? It’s the unexpected things that make being on an inaugural voyage memorable. If everything had gone according to plan, no one would head back to Schenectady, NY, saying, “Yeah, they showed a movie.” But now they’ll say, “Yeah, they were showing this film, but it cut off in the middle because it’s the first time they used Blue Ray – Did I mention we were on the INAUGURAL voyage?” – It’s the unexpected thing that makes it memorable.
    No one is better than Carnival at coping with the unexpected, so I have no doubt that the staff handled everything wonderfully. However, it’s now a part of the cruise that is special for everyone who was there because it isn’t what they expected.
    I will be cruising on the Carnival Conquest right out of dry dock November 4th – I wouldn’t be surprised if not exactly everything was exactly perfect. Now, it may very well be: This isn’t the first ship to go through this transformation! But it will be a great part of my cruise experience either way!
    It does bring up another question: Webcams for dry dock? I’d love to follow the dry dock work on the Conquest, and I suspect others would love to follow the various ships going through this process as well. Does such a webcam exist? Are pictures posted somewhere? Hmmmm…
    And finally, I am so sorry that you are experiencing trolls. You provide a tremendous service, not only by sharing your stories and jokes, but also by being a direct conduit for passengers through the red tape associated with any company the size of Carnival. I don’t know if the answer is eliminating anonymity, but there’s no reason for it here! I used to live in Los Angeles, and never understood swarming celebrities: They are people doing a job just like the rest of us. And they need to shop, go to restaurants, or walk to the corner drugstore just like the rest of us. No need to pester! I hope there’s a way for you to insulate yourself from the trolls.


  15. Mike says:

    I like Gary’s suggestion! Well written too. But Mr. Kawane should bugger off. I would bet an inside cabin fare that he didn’t mention it to the Maitre d. And from the way he worded it, I think the ‘white’ bothered him more than the language barrier, otherwise he wouldn’t have even mentioned it.

  16. carl Rice says:

    Im so sorry if this ASS*OLE is from USA! If I could I would put a BOOT in his ass!!

    John Keep up the good work!! Please keep your chin up!

    • Rob Pruett says:

      I do hope this person was not from the USA. Very sad to think anyone would say such things about someone they don’t even know. It made tears come to my eyes when I read John’s post. Sailed with him in June 2009 on the Carnival Freedom, what a trip! Vero Beach will never mean the same again. John take heart, sadly some people do not know any better. Keep up the good work, as they say. Sailing on the Dream in 15 days with my wife celebrating 30 years of marriage. Do wish you were going to be there. Oh yeah, I have a chainsaw if you need to borrow it.

  17. Ricky Smith says:

    Hey John don’t change for anyone. Your blog is the highlight of my day. Would love to cruise with you one day. And by the way can you do something about the shrimp cocktail ??? Ha Ha Ha

  18. Phil Hale says:

    Gary I LOVE your idea, one of the “secret spots” on Glory class ships is at the end of the hallway on Lido Left side as you face front at the bow of the ship. Since it is literally the roof of the bridge the wings on either side are far enough away from the lights. Love the talk idea. On a TA on Holland we were VERY disappointed to not see anything of Gibralter as we passed through at midnight because of not only the lights but plexy barriers up top. I try and go to the topmost deck on the ship at least once a cruise to try and catch a glimpse, but as you say the “sail” of lights prevents a true experience, also the wind up there can be pretty intense.

    • CanuckKaren says:

      Hi John-
      If your beards want to take a poll or get some feedback, let me add my enthusiastic “AYE!” to the idea of star watching … I would be first in line to sign up for an hour of watching the skies and being taught what we’re looking at. Imagine setting that up during the Perseid meteor shower, or a lunar eclipse! Thank you, Gary Hayman for a great idea and beautiful post!

  19. Linda bowen says:

    I have done over 12 cruise with carnival and love you ships. the last time I was there I discovery the Blue moon martini. Could you get me the recipe. Its a long time to go with one on my next cruise. thanks

  20. beverly ann says:

    I have been following your bogs and must say that I am betting more and more unsure of
    our decision to cruise with Carnival again. We are booked on the Breeze for an 8 night cruise on 12/8. We went on Carnnival 25 years ago for our honeymoon and first cruise. We were turned off by many things and so opted for other cruise lines after that. Your comments concerning the issues of lights in the cabin and the difficulty of turning on the TV only add to the issues concerning the smoking policy and the dress code. All these are things of concern to us. So much so that I am thinking we may be making a mistake going on Carnival again. We may babe to rethink this decision. I certainly do not want to be in a dark cabin with no lights or TV and with a balcony we cant use because of smokers (I have asthma) surrounded by poorly dressed people in the dining room!

  21. Robert F Shay says:

    I think Gary Hayman is right on, I’ve asked on two different TA’s for something like this, I think Cunard does it reguarly. John, I hope you can get the beards to see the “star” light so to speak.

    • Luis R says:

      About the star gazing question, in the Destiny-derived ship classes (anything not Fantasy Class or Spirit Class) the darkest spots are the forward open areas below the bridge (decks 5, 6 and 7) which are often referred to as secret areas. On Dream Class ships this area on deck 5 is the forward section of the Lanai and is easily accessible. The best place to do star gazing events would be the crew-only area on deck 4 forward but since the area is not too big, it would need to be limited to small groups at a time.

      These forward “secret” sections could have low intensity red lighting to allow people to see their way at night without interferring visibility at the bridge and without affecting night vision for those guests that go there to watch the skies.

      About the black family (what’s wrong with being black lately? I don’t get this African American thing.) that got seated with the two “white” families from Puerto Rico… well if this bothers you that much don’t go take a cruise out of Puerto Rico. Part of the fun of being in a cruise is meeting new people and even more fun is when they are totally unlike us and have different backgrounds and experiences. If they are so narrow-minded that being with whites that do not speak their language ruined their experience then boo hoo… next time get a table for two. I am sure they didn’t even try to speak with their non-English speaking table mates because they felt oh so superior….

    • Luis R says:

      Sorry Robert, I hit reply in the wrong place. My post is not intended to be a reply to yours.

      • William Bowlin says:

        Right on, Robert. Wife and I really, really enjoy skywatching and their are very few opportunities to get in decent views around in the city. Would be nice to go up to the top of the ship for an hour or so each night of a five day Atlantic crossing (between ports) and enjoy the view, weather permitting.

        One of the most unique changes between ‘city’ and ‘rural’ viewing is that the constellations composed of relatively brighter stars can more or less make the straight line outlined versions, but in darker, clearer skies the sheer number of visible stars can be nearly overwhelming. It would be nice to add those memories to a fantastic cruise.

  22. I have a question John? Do I have to spend a great deal of time on my cruise to learn how to work the lights and the TV? Will there be someone to assist us to learn about these things, the light and TV? It can’t really that more difficult, is it?
    I’m so excited for my cruise on that beautiful Carnival Breeze no matter how confusing it may be. See you in January my friend.

    Paul F. Pietrangelo

  23. Leisha Tompkins says:

    I have never cruised before but my husband, myself and our 2 boys will be on the Magic on December 2. First, I love the stargazing idea. I didn’t realize it would be difficult to see stars. Secondly, you struck a chord with me about the Internet anonymity. As a new cruiser, I perused a certain cruise review type board. I ended up on a controversial thread, where I saw a post made by a children’s therapist. I am also a children’s therapist. I introduced myself and tried to remain neutral on the actual topic….I just wanted to meet her. Maybe someone or people misinterpreted but I was told that they were glad I never counseled their children or grandchildren. So much for remaining neutral! The only thing that bothered me was that it was such a personal attack and uncalled for. It really soured me on that web site and I wonder if the people I will be cruising with are that tacky. Probably, but I wont let them spoil our fun! I truly enjoy reading your blog. You have a gift for writing that is seriously entertaining! Blessings to you, Kye, and your family.

    • Luis R says:

      Don’t worry about that incident. The vast majority of cruisers probably don’t even know about that particular board. Just have fun.

  24. Michael says:

    Hi John,

    Thanks for the blog, it was entertaining and informative as ever. I am sorry that people made personal attacks at you and your family… it is rather disgusting that they can do so.

    Some people just do not deserve to breathe the same air as the rest of us.

  25. dave j says:

    Simply Brilliant John. Your blog spouts nothing but sense. People need to be held accountable for their actions, especially when the act arrogantly and with malice and stupidity. Thinking hiding behind an internet name is cool, then they are simply proving that they are cowards. The internet, for all its wonderful attributes has many flaws as well. It allows anonymous hatred, bigotry and other awful things a place to rear its ugly head

  26. Samantha Weldon says:

    Cyber bullying is so prevalent everywhere these days. I teach in school and many kids are affected by it. What these trolls/ people don’t realise that is anything they put on the internet is there forever and CAN be traced. There is no such thing as anonymity. The sad individuals who troll and throw personal insults can be traced and charged ! It is illegal, go after them I say, especially if they are going after your family.Seriously, there is a vast difference between throw away comments which you I know can take on the chin and then in contrast, disgusting comments that target Kye and Heidi. What they wrote is libelous and there are now police departments devoted to tracing these ‘people’.

  27. Hi John

    It seems your computer thingy doesn’t share your desire to pronounce ‘aluminium’ as it is spoke in Southend – maybe you should throw the US spellchecker over the end of the pier?

    • Fern says:

      I think John was trying to say “al u min e am” instead of “a lum in um”. :).

      Those Brit’s!!

  28. Marsha breen says:

    John, the person that said bad things about you and Kye doesn’t deserve another thought by you because they obviously said these things to get a rise out of you. And, they succeeded. You know in your heart that your wife and your daughter are adorable and gorgeous, so don’t let this idiot get to you. If you do that, he has won. You are not fat and ugly, and you are an incredible man, husband and father. Enough said.

  29. Teddy Gautsch says:

    Why is it people constantly complain about being seated with others in the dining room? If you don’t want to sit with other people ask for a two person table and quit whining to John its as simple as that! For all the racist cruisers who always have to point out skin color I recommend studying cultural diversity in the comfort of your own home back in the hills.

  30. Martha says:

    Feeling a need to chime in on a few things John.
    1. Michelle and Mary – they are awesome. They have answered many questions for me over on the CCL forums that I could not get answers for anywhere else. And, no question is a dumb question to them.
    2. Love the idea of the stargazing. I hope that is something Carnival can work out.
    3. I understand where you would want to sit with just your family, but would hate the opportunity to meet others, who didn’t have the same life experiences as ourselves. I dislike people who are singular thinkers. Diversity and being open minded are amazing influences on our experiences.
    4. I also wish trolls were dragged our from under their bridges and made to stand in the light of day.

  31. dave says:

    John you said nobody would lose their current status how come some golds were demoted to red

    i think everybody who designed should get red cards like they do in FIFA

  32. Carole says:

    Hi John, I have a question and a comment.
    I enjoy my Carnival cruise just fine, the recent “cut backs” will not really do much to interfer with my good times on the ships, however the mattress situation is another thing.
    I used to enjoy the heck out of sleeping on my comfort bed with the cushy mattress and bedding. It seems the mattresses you are changing out to are made from some kind of wood, I mean they are HARD as heck!!
    On my Miracle cruise the steward put a comforter under the sheet, it was lumpy and so I had a lumpy and hard mattress, I literally couldn’t wait to get off this cruise.
    Why are they changing something so basic and do they really save money with the new HARD as hades mattresses?
    I mean seriously I’m thinking of going on a different line just because of the darn mattresses.
    Please reply and please let the “beards” know that this will lose them customers!!!
    Okay now for my comment, the people saying the cruel things to you about your weight and family are simply hateful, bored and childish people that have to knock others to get their own ego up, why bother letting them get to you? These people are not important to you, and if you think hard about it, what does their opinion matter??
    Chalk it up to being a public figure and stop letting petty people bother you, you will live longer.
    Cheers, Carole

  33. jgeraci says:

    281 Carnival sailing dates & they took away my free slot tournament entry!! What’s going on here??
    Otherwise I don’t see much difference from the old loyalty program.

  34. pintpalsJJ says:

    Hi John getting ready for our cruise on the breeze we have 18 days and a wake up. We just can’t wait packed and unpacked a few time now. That’s OK, practice makes perfect. Hope we get to speak with you onbroad. JJ

  35. David Martin says:

    First off, I have never understood the mentality of some when posting on boards. I used to be a huge advocate of anonymity. But I am beginning to rethink this. It has really got out of control. It is a shame really, that it may come to that. Boards, I believe, have opened up the world to all of us. Made it smaller, figuratively. Allowed us to interact with people we would have never interacted with just 30 years ago. But a few childish adults will ruin that for all of us.
    And once again I see where you had a complaint about table mates in the MDR. What are they thinking? I would love to be at a table with others that I do not know. I generally travel with large groups so I tend to be at a table where I already know everyone. Not that this is a bad thing. I love meeting new people. I lived in other countries and met many great people that I have become friends for life.
    I do not always read your BLOG, got a lot going on in my busy life in my wonderful extended family. But when I do get time I have always enjoyed it.

    • Harry says:

      I just don’t understand. You PROMISED that no one would lose anything with this brilliant program. Well I was moved from gold to red and lost.

    • Cruisin' Lovebirds says:

      We just had the most wonderful table for 12 right behind the maitre d’ station, Carnival Paradise 5/24/12. Hello to our new friends from Canada, Clearwater, Reddington Beach, Hudson, and by-now-moved-to-Connecticut! Mercin the Maitre D’ did a great job picking out lively interesting tablemates for us. A Vietnam Vet, a NY Fire Department retiree, a couple with 9 kids who raise rats for local zoos and animal parks, the people from Canada who took time to write down music websites so we could get ready for our September cruise to Halifax on the Carnival Glory – hello and thank you for our great evenings.
      Meet some strangers! Find a way to share!

  36. Kippie says:

    I’ve looked to see who the Godmother is for the Breeze but could not find it anywhere. Can you please tell me who it is. We will be cruising on the Breeze at the end of this month. Looking forward to it.

  37. Deirdre says:

    Hugely funny blog! 🙂

  38. Hope Lawter says:

    John, my family and I went on a the Carnival Fantasy in March 2011. We had the most wonderful waiter. His name was Sam Patel.
    He gave us his email address, however I think something was written down wrong and it doesn’t work. I would love it if you could help me find Sam and what ship he is on now.


  39. Susan / Please reply says:

    John –

    What happened to your promise that Milestone cruisers would be put in the top tier? I feel like my cruising with Carnival for 31 cruises since 1987 has no loyalty from Carnival. I preently have three cruises booked with Carnival and feel very let down.

    As a solo cruiser having to pay 200% and now being put down a level and not having the one perk I actually used (the black jack tournament entry), I feel Carnival does not value my business and is not being loyal to me.

    Please talk to the beards and have the promise of Milestone cruisers being put in the top tier lived up to.

  40. dave says:

    John i’m glad you liked my at the bat post

  41. Michael Brewer says:

    Ho John, reffering to the note about stargazing. The rules require a ship greater than 50M to display only four lights……red, green and two white.

  42. Annette Robinson says:


    We come onto the carnival breeze i7th September and we are bringing my daughter son in law and grandson who is 3. My daughter has been following your blog(that is how we know about you) and is very excited at meeting you! Will you be on the ship on that date?

  43. mjgruskin says:

    Slings and arrows. Sticks and stones. John, listen to me. Although not as successful as u are, I’ve been a blogger since the start of the internet. I have been personally attacked vis a vis comments and quite honestly I’ve done some naughty stuff too. It’s a BS. You have transmorfited (???) yourself from a cruise director to a celebrity that is probably the #1 face to the public when it comes to cruising. Those are tough shoes 2 fill but u do it well. So let’s combine that with the fact that people globally are very angry right now. They look for chances to pop their cork everywhere and anywhere they can. You are a convenient target. There is no excuse for posting porn or criticizing a man’s family, but welcome (as terrible as it is) to the world of the being a star. Thank goodness u have folks to help you filter much of the nonsense. I only have this much to advise you John, while I’m not asking u or Carnival 2 ignore it, you might just not – I know ur a honest guy – even mention the bad stuff – commentds etc – about you personally anymore. You just adding fuel to the fire. I don’t know you, but your a fellow blogger writer and seemingly nice man, so do your thing but accept that there will always be idiots in the world – screw them. Move on, look the other way and enjoy the remarkable life God has given you. Ur friend/marshall

  44. Janet says:


    This Blog makes me smile. Viva Carnival Cruises!

  45. penny3333 says:

    I cannot believe that Mr. Kawane would post such a rude comment. If it was that inconvenienct or traumatic for him, why not ask to be moved. It’s amazing to me in this day and age that someone would post that.

    • Dwayne says:

      I agree Penny3333. Some people just don’t have any class and say things like that. I would have loved to have anyone from Puerto Rico at the table. What an opportunity for Cultural conversation.

  46. Tim says:

    I am so happy for you and all the Breezers, that you are working with Ana and they are looked after by her. She is indeed a wonderful young lady.

    Ref your Essex coffee maker, please could you ask Heidi the make and model and how it performs, as we are considering one for our new kitchen?

  47. Neomi says:

    Hello John!

    I am probably late to ask for this as I now renovations have been underway for quite some time but do you happen to have a schedule of the ships that will be under going the 2.0 Upgrades? I would like to see what ships are involved in this and what new shiny things they will be receiving! Thank you!!!


    • Alison McCaffery says:

      Neomi, if you go to Carnival’s FAQ’s you can do a search for 2.0, or just wait for the popular questions to load. It will be the 1st and 2nd questions in the list.

      But a short and dirty list is as follows:

      Carnival Dream
      Dry Dock: Sept. 8-22, 2012
      RedFrog Rum Bar
      Blue Iguana Tequila Bar
      Punchliners Comedy Club & Brunch
      DJ IRIE

      Carnival Conquest
      Dry Dock: Oct. 14-28, 2012
      RedFrog Rum Bar
      Blue Iguana Tequila Bar
      Alchemy Bar
      EA Sports Bar
      Guy’s Burger Joint
      Blue Iguana Cantina
      Punchliners Comedy Club & Brunch
      Hasbro, The Game Show
      Playlist Productions
      DJ IRIE

      Carnival Glory
      Dry Dock: Nov. 2-15, 2012
      RedFrog Rum Bar
      Blue Iguana Tequila Bar
      Alchemy Bar
      EA Sports Bar
      Guy’s Burger Joint
      Blue Iguana Cantina
      Punchliners Comedy Club & Brunch
      Hasbro, The Game Show
      Playlist Productions
      DJ IRIE

      Carnival Splendor
      Dry Dock: 2012 – dates TBA
      RedFrog Rum Bar
      BlueIguana Tequila Bar
      Punchliners Comedy Club & Brunch
      DJ IRIE

      Carnival Destiny
      Carnival Legend
      Carnival Pride
      Carnival Victory

      Carnival Elation
      Carnival Freedom
      Carnival Triumph
      Carnival Valor

      Carnival Magic
      Carnival Paradise

    • John,

      I agree that you should be able to take a chain saw to the trolls (I’ll loan you mine.)…

      But, you and Calvin wrestling naked?… that’s another thing. I don’t know about the laws in the UK or the rest of Europe… but here in the USA, we have laws against cruel and unusual punishment.

      Memories of Naked Fanny

  48. Jamie Pihan says:

    Hi John,

    just reading on Sky News website that they are planing to make websites rlease the name and details of Trolls. Hopefully this will discourage them from making comments they are afraid to do so in person.


    Jamie ‘Squishy’ Pihan

  49. Cathy Peele says:

    Hi, John! I just wanted to let you know that I was gold and now I am red. What does this mean???? Kidding I already know and let me tell you I DON’T CARE! I love Carnival and always will. Have a super day!


  50. Gail Daves says:

    Dear John
    I AM VERY UPSET TO KNOW CARNIVAL HAS CUT BENEFITS AFTER 12 CRUISES and taken away benefits that I worked to get for example
    Priority check in /boarding, main dinning room,line at guest services. I see at least 10 benefits taken away after my 12 CRUISES. I feel they are not taking care of the people that made this Cruise line one of the greatest. Vip luggage tags gone, Priority debarkation, so I want TO KNOW WHAT HAVE THEY done to keep my business with Carnival. My group ususally books 4 cabins when we travel at least once a year. From what I see now we might as well go to another cruise line because we have lost many of out benefits. You do a wonderful job and I love to read your Blog so I would so appreciate an answer to my note. Thanks

  51. Elizabeth Zomer says:

    Hello John,

    You and I have never met, but I already feel I know you. Our family, all 19 of us, will be on the Breeze Feb. 2nd, sailing out of Miami. It would be lovely if you were on board so I could shake your hand, and give you a hug! I think your blog is great, and I love how many times you say “brilliant”, “sodding”, and “bloody”. Although my absolute favourite is “rumpy pumpy”! I don’t usually comment on these things, but having just read your latest entry, I was compelled to write to you. I find it abhorrent what people are capable of online. And in person to be honest! I agree that it should be mandatory to post only with one’s real name and not a handle. I’m sorry for what that person wrote about you. Your family is sacred and strictly off limits! You have this girl’s support.
    I very much look forward to meeting you one day.

  52. The Cruzin2some says:

    Dear John,
    COMP/rgb7 is a button they can push to automatically receive a COMPlimentary fruit basket rather than bother the busy CD.

    Anyone who says mean things about a child should have their nipples remove with a blow torch and the parents of that child should get to do so. Here Here!

    The cruzin2some James & Nancy

    • Robinola says:


      Just the fact that you can read some of these posts WITHOUT slitting your wrists is Quite Commendable. Bravo!

      Robinola (my spanish name) 🙂


  54. Sandee says:

    Hi John,

    We have just returned home from the Carnival Breeze’s Inaugural cruise to Europe, and all I can say is WOW!! This is not my first cruise with Carnival, but it was my first trip to Europe. What a beautiful world we live in; I have already identified the places I want to return and spend more time, The Vatican being number one, the tour was great, but there were so many people that it was next to impossible to really “drink in” the splendor and beauty of the facility. Our waiters were awesome as well, Edis, Deian, and Nemanja in the Sapphire restaurant treated us like royalty. Our cabin steward, Joseph on Deck 7,gave us top notch service. To date, Carnival is my favorite and I can’t wait for the next adventure!!

  55. Jeff Berry says:


    We just arrived home from the inaugural sailing of the Breeze. All I can say is “Thank You”. We also had the pleasure of sailing the Magic last year in Europe. Both are great ships and the itineraries were awesome!

    Despite the small problem with Livorno, the cruise was great. The staff did a great job for the first time out.

    I love reading the complaints to guest services. No classical music… IT IS A FUN SHIP…

  56. Jeanne says:

    I often wonder how you have time to write this blog and fulfill all the duties of a cruise director, but I guess you can do it…so…Bravo! I enjoy your blogs. We were on Magic last month, and I remember the key in the thingy issue. This was brand new to me, but one of the (obviously exhausted) cabin stewards helped us out. Tip extra for your cabin stewards and their helpers, people! They work hard!

  57. Ramona Parks says:

    This was by far the best vacation ever! I was concerned about being on the ship for 12 days, but on the 12th day no one was ready to leave. The ports of call were great. The shows were awesome and the activities were great, there was never a dull moment. This trip was relaxing, exciting, adventurous and fun fun fun. I cant wait till the next one. Anything that can be said negative about this ship and cruise will be greatly outweighed by all the positives!!!

  58. Ramona Parks says:

    Oops, I left out that I was on the inaugural of the Breeze” this us by far the best cruise ship and the best cruise ever

  59. Pingback: School Bus Bullies, Hiding on the InternetSchool Bus Bullies, Hiding on the Internet

  60. Senda Shultz says:

    We just made milestone last cruise! And are very excited about that “milestone” in our lives. Now, as I understand the program…Carnival has taken that away from us, and we are back to platinum.

    I know if you’re trying to reach platinum you have a grace period of 12/2013 to get to platinum. There is nothing offered to the platinum guest to reach the next level.

    In the new program, the only thing that is different is that Carnival is taking away our FREE slot tournament…and giving us one drink.
    A $20. slot tournament or a $7.95 drink? I think I’d take a chance on the slots.

    John, can you talk to the beards to try to get this changed around? I’d like to see the slot tournaments back to FREE.

    If I’m wrong, please correct me.

    I really would like to know if I’ve gone backwards on the status…from a white card back to platinum? wow…that just don’t seem fair.
    Thanks for listening to me vent.
    Happy sailing, and best wishes.

  61. Sam says:

    My wife and i have been on carnival cruises many times and always have had a great time …nothing in this world we live in today is perfect …but on board a carnival cruise it is pretty darn close!!!The employees on board seem to love there jobs and i notice things like that…I only get one week a year and always look forward to my next adventure on board Carnival ! Next Cruise …”The Dream”leaving port Canaveral August 25th 2012 …I am soooo Ready!!! Thanks Guys for all of the fun i have had so far!

  62. Jene Wenzlaff says:

    My daughter and I were on the Carnival Breeze Mediterranean cruise of July 9th. We loved everything about it except the long walk at the Venice port. I had a wheelchair request to embark and disembark the ship because arthritis makes it difficult for me to walk very far. You did keep warning about the 300 meter walk and althoughI don’t know what a meter is I felt I needed to do it. Quite a struggle! I actually felt maybe we would have to stay overnight in Venice rather than try that walk back. Next morning we found out quite accidentally that there was a free shuttle to the people mover. What? On our much more pleasant way back to the ship on our second day in Venice perfectly healthy looking teenagers were riding that shuttle. John, I do wish individuals who require assistance were told about the shuttle. Thanks

  63. heather says:

    heading out on the carnival miracle dec 24 2012. want to know if you cut the calypso band on this ship. Have been on five carnival cruises and listening to the band while sunning has always been my favourite part of the cruise.

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