November 28, 2012 -

John Heald

It’s strange to think that I won’t be a cruise director for a few months after spending seven months in the chair on the Carnival Breeze. I won’t be the CD for BC6, although I will be hosting a Marriage Show and Calvyn and I will host live morning shows for the audience to enjoy. It never gets easier being an older cruise director and especially during the conference last week when I was surrounded by youth and vitality and more hair product than a sodding beauty salon …………..and that’s just the male CDs.

There are other ways that being a CD these days makes me feel so very old. Take being back stage on the Carnival Breeze for the Playlist Productions shows and the bow finales I have to do on the microphone for Divas and Brits, our two new shows. Yep, when a 19-year-old dancer gets undressed right in front of me, I have to turn my head and bury it in shame…..because I feel like a dirty old man. It’s hard to explain because the dancers don’t care, they really don’t, for them, it’s just part of the job. For me, seeing the people I work with naked is embarrassing. Imagine seeing Tracey from sales standing by the photo copier naked except for a tiny thong thingy. I am supposed to manage and guide these people through their time on the ship. It’s difficult to chastise someone because they were late for sodding bingo when you have just seen them in their birthday suit the night before.


Anyway, seeing the girls is one thing…..well, actually, it’s two things but that doesn’t matter …. what I am trying to say is seeing the girls breasts and bottoms is bad enough……….but when the male dancers run past you with everything in full view…. leads me to the main subject of this portion of the blog thingy……. underpants.  There were four male cast members on the Carnival Breeze and their underwear ran the entire gamut of underpants on display backstage. Some wore tight briefs while others wore boxers which I have to imagine leaves the wearer living in dread of having to run across the stage. There was one performer, who will remain nameless who, if he had run naked, surely have given himself a tattoo of his own thingy across his forehead…..the lucky bastard. Many women will say that these types of underpants are sexy and that the giant diaper ones I wear are not. But to me these are comfortable and the ones the male dancers wear surely cannot be. And what matters to women? Well, ask my wife and Heidi will tell you only three things really matter to women about underpants…… cleanliness, cleanliness and cleanliness. So that means I fail on both counts — the sexy part and the cleanliness part. But, hey …..I am comfortable ……. and bollocks to everything else.


Time for today’s Q and A…………off we go.


Linda Parsons asked:

I had a wonderful time on the eastern Caribbean cruise aboard the Carnival Dream. Gary was CD and also a Sparkles on the bingo games. A beautiful ship and such friendly courteous crew members. I now want to try the western Caribbean cruise Dec 2013. However, I have seen a lot of complaints recently pertaining to after dry-dock time. I don’t believe everything I read and still want to travel on the Carnival Dream. Will it be fine?

John says:
Hello Linda Parsons,

Thanks for the kind words on the staff and crew of the Carnival Dream and they will see your words of praise. I am not sure what comments you have seen because I have seen many excellent reviews both here and on my Facebook page. I am sure you will have a wonderful time and if there is anything I can do for you, please let me know.

Best wishes.



Paul Antrim asked:

I keep reading here about Carnival cracking down on drink smuggling but on Cruise Critic, there are lots of stories about folks not getting caught. I have never done this but if Carnival puts the prices up anymore which is a result of these rum runners who boast what they have done, I may join them, John!!!!

John says:
Hello Paul Antrim,

I do not have time to ever spend on CC but I can tell you that there are indeed rules against smuggling alcohol on board. Of course, we miss some but we do catch more than not and so we will continue to work hard on this. Overall, I think our bar prices are very competitive and I thank you for resisting temptation and not smuggling in alcohol. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

Best wishes.



Mike Kocik asked:

Your blogs are great comic relief for my week as well as highly informative. We are cruising on the Carnival Fascination Dec 8 and are VERY distressed over this recent post from Cruise Critic: “The entertainment was very much lacking on this ship. Sure, they had the hairy chest contest, the sail away party and the mega deck party, but that was it the entire rest of the cruise. NO LIVE MUSIC EVER!!!!!!!! Not even DJ music for most of the day and night. I really did not understand this at all!!!!!! Who does not want music on the lido deck?????” Please tell me this is all a big mistake! I time my trips to the bar by number of songs. I will be COMPLETELY off my game!! Seriously, will we have music or not?


John says:
Hello Mike Kocik,

Please ignore. Press delete and keep calm. Here is what you will find on board as noted in last cruises Fun Times. Let’s start with live music and the DJs


11:30am – 1:00pm & 2:30pm – 5:30pm Lido Stage, 10 Mid

12:00pm -2:00pm – Grand Atrium, 7 Fwd
3:00pm – 4:00pm – (Tea Time) Club 88, 8 Fwd
6:00pm -7:00pm – Grand Atrium, 7 Fwd

5:00pm – 6:00pm – Grand Atrium, 7 Fwd
7:00pm-9:30pm – Grand Atrium, 7 Fwd

5:00pm – 6:00pm – Stars Bar, 9 Mid

7:00pm – 8:00pm – Stars Bar, 9 Mid
9:30pm – 1:15am – Stars Bar, 9 Mid

8:00pm – Late Passage to India, 9 Mid

9:30pm – Late Club 88, 8 Fwd

10:15pm (70’s & 80’s) – Diamonds Nightclub, 9 Mid
11:30pm – 3:00am – Nightclub, 9 Mid

Fancy some comedy, Mike?


We are now offering more comedy than ever before.
Adults Only (18+) Comedy 10:15pm – Mark Hawkins
Adults Only (18+) Comedy 11:00pm – Happy Cole
Adults Only (18+) Comedy  – Midnight – Mark Hawkins

And in the main lounge…

Presented by your Cruise Director Paul
The Fascination Dancers and the vocal dynamics of Michelle & Clint

Live music by Kevin Lower & The Fascination Showband
7:00pm Late Seating – Palace Theater, 8 & 9 Fwd
8:45pm Early Seating – Palace Theater, 8 & 9 Fwd

And here is what’s happening on the first sea day afternoon, activity-wise.

9:30am – Trivia: Fun Challenge – Palace Theater, 8 & 9 Fwd
Half Price Bingo – Palace Theater, 8 & 9 Fwd
$10 Madness Sale – Promenade Deck, 9 Aft
Bridge Players Meet (Unsupervised) – Stars Bar, 9 Mid
Body sculpt boot camp – Spa Carnival, 12 Fwd

10:30am – Fun Ashore & Fun Aboard – Palace Theater, 8 & 9 Fwd

TV Tunes Trivia – Lido Stage, 10 Mid
Slogans Trivia – Stars Bar, 9 Mid
Inch of Gold Sale – Fun Shops, 8 Fwd
Detox for Health & Weight Loss – Spa Carnival, 12 Fwd

11:30am General Knowledge Trivia – Stars Bar, 9 Mid
Mini Golf. Big Fun – Sun Deck, 14 Fwd
Texas Hold’em Tournament – Casino Royale, 9 Mid

11:45am Fun Finds Shopping Show – Palace Theater, 8 & 9 Fwd

Digital Scavenger Hunt – Stars Bar, 9 Mid
Puffy Eyes Seminar – Spa Carnival, 12 Fwd
Relieve Back Pain with Good Feet Seminar – Spa, 12 Fwd

Master Mixologist Sign Ups – Lido Stage, 10 Mid
Sports Trivia – Stars Bar, 9 Mid

Master Mixologist Competition – Lido Stage, 10 Mid
Secrets to a flatter stomach – Spa Carnival, 12 Fwd
Get your Ping-Pong on – Verandah, 11 Fwd
Beary Cuddly – Camp Carnival, Deck 11 Fwd
Blackjack Tournament – Casino Royale, 9 Mid

Champagne Art Auction – Diamond’s Nightclub, 9 Mid
Crazy 80’s – Stars Bar, 9 Mid

Showcase of Stars Sign up – Beverly Hills Bar, 9 Aft
Hairy Chest Contest – Lido Stage, 10 Mid

Bridge Players Meet (Unsupervised) – Stars Bar, 9 Mid
Spot the Real Tanzanite – Fun Shops, 8 Fwd
Name That Beatles Tune – Stars Bar, 9 Mid

Diamond and Gemstone Seminar – Passage To India, 9 Mid
Wine Tasting Seminar – Imagination Dining Room, 8 Aft
Ultimate Mind Game – Stars Bar, 9 Mid
Tea Time – Club 88, 8 Fwd
Bean Bag Toss Contest – Lido Stage, 10 Mid

3:15pm 5 Game Bingo – Palace Theater, 8 & 9 Fwd

3:30pm Name That Comedy – Stars Bar, 9 Mid

Thriller Dance Class – Palace Theater, 8 & 9 Fwd
Scategories – Stars Bar, 9 Mid
Pathway To Pilates – Spa Carnival, 12 Fwd
Swarovski Sale – Fun Shops, 8 Fwd
Military Veterans Meeting (unsupervised) – Passage To India, 9 Mid

4:30pm Elegant Evening Portraits – Deck 7 & 9

So then…nothing to be stressed about. Have a brilliant time.

Best wishes.


Scott Bosma asked:

Wanted to drop you a line about our experience with Carnival.  Stunning pretty much sums it up!  My wife and I went on Carnival Fascination in March 2012, we just booked Carnival Dream for Feb 2014. Joey Hernandez (our Carnival booking agent) has been extraordinary! She is not only knowledgeable but kind and encouraging. You have one hell of Carnival ambassador on your side!!  She is one of the reasons we have booked this second cruise….next to how wonderful your staff is from booking to boarding to state room to Lido Deck to casino to restaurant to debarkation. Thank you for everything Carnival stands for!!!!  We will be VIP before you know it!

John says:
Hello Scott Bosma,

I must admit that your post was a bit further down my list to answer but I wanted to post it here because of the question above from Mike who was worried having read a negative review about the ship you had so much fun on. I am thrilled that you did plus I will make sure that Joey sees your kind words as will her supervisor. I hope you will let me know if there is anything I can ever do for you.

George Fecowycz asked:

Cruising December 13 out of Galveston on the Carnival Triumph and I am wondering if there is any chance the “awesome bar” program will be available on the ship? Thanks for any info.

John says:
Hello George,

The program has been changed to be called now Cheers. I have no news on this starting on the Carnival Triumph before you sail but as soon as there is any news, I will, of course, let you know.

Best wishes and have a great time.


Robert Rushikey asked:

As you are so am I am very obese and can’t fit in a normal seat in the dining hall. I need one with no arms and need to know if the Carnival bed in cabin E124 on the Carnival Fantasy can hold my 358 pounds so need you to respond immediately so preparations can be made by you guys if you see any problems. I also want to know if, like NCLm you can get fresh pizza sent to the cabin!

John says:
Hello Robert Rushikey,

I checked with the housekeeping manager and you will be fine on the bed there so please do not worry. I have also made sure that the maître d knows that you will need the chair with no arms and this will be ready and waiting for you next week. I am afraid we don’t deliver the pizza but it is complimentary and available 24 hours a day.  Have a wonderful cruise and loads of fun.

Best wishes.


Lee Galant asked:

I have heard that a new drink option is being tested where you can pay a set fee. I will be sailing on the Carnival Breeze in May.  Is this test period being offered on the Breeze? Also what is the cost and can you prepay before you leave home. This will be our 13th cruise on Carnival and would not sail on any other line.

John says:
Hello Lee Galant,

Yes, the new program is called “Cheers” and is available on the Carnival Breeze for each adult in the cabin to purchase. I hope you enjoy it and may I also say a huge thanks to you for your wonderful loyalty.

Best wishes and please let me know if you need anything.


Judy Saunders asked:

My husband and I are booked for our fifth cruise in April 23, 2013.  We have tried over and over to win a “ship on a stick” but so far no luck.  Could we purchase one while on board?

Also – we just want you to know WE LOVE YOU.

John says:
Hello Judy Saunders,

They are not for sale but I am sure I can help you out so send me your sailing information one month before you sail here or two days before on my Facebook page and include your cabin number. Thanks for the kind words and have a brilliant cruise.

Best wishes.


Barbara Murphy asked:

Will you be on the Carnival Legend 9-13-2013 for the British Isles cruise?

John says:
Hello Barbara Murphy,

Yes, indeed, I will be and what a fantastic voyage this will be. I hope you are ready to have a great time and see you soon.

Best wishes.


Colin Hanstanton asked:

I read that you do not have church services at Christmas on your ships and I am surprised if this is correct. At this time of year I would think it would be a gimmie that your company would provide this for the passengers. Can you tell me if this is true or false, please?

John says:
Hello Colin Hanstanton,

I am afraid we do not have religious services on board our ships during the Christmas cruise. What we will do is ask the cruise directors to put an announcement to the ship asking if anyone would like to hold a service and if that person is responsible and we think they are OK to do this, then we will provide them with all they need. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

Best wishes.


Sandy Kendall asked:

I have been trying to purchase the Faster to the Fun for our 3/30/13 eastern Caribbean cruise on the Liberty.  When I go to shore excursions for Miami, I am not allowed to purchase the Fun Pass nor any other Miami excursions.  Am I doing something wrong?

John says:
Hello Sandy Kendall,

No Sandy, it just isn’t there yet. Please try two to three weeks before the cruise and it should be there for you. Please let me know if you have any questions and have a brilliant cruise.

Best wishes.


And that’s all for today. I had a week or so away from the blog because of my travels from the Carnival Breeze to Miami and then of course the conference and back here to Miami. One of the things I did not have time, therefore, to write about was this incident from the Carnival Breeze.


Sent: Thursday, November 15, 2012 8:35 PM


Subject: Incident in RFP: Cabin ****

Hello John

Mr ———– approached me at the GSD to make a complaint about kids being in the RedFrog Pub. Guest says that one was running around and bumped into him making his drink spill. Guest wants dry cleaning done free of charge and John he has asked to meet with you as he says kids should not be allowed in the pub. Thanks John

Guest Services Associate

Carnival Breeze

Well, I did speak to the chap in question and we did not charge him for the cleaning we did on his clothes. He was adamant that we didn’t allow kids in the RedFrog Pub for the remainder of the cruise but it wasn’t something the hotel director or I were prepared to do. It’s a tough question, should we allow kids in the pub? Well, first things first, we really don’t get a whole lot of people who bring their kids to the pub actually, especially when you consider we have all the kids play areas, video arcades, water parks, 24-hour pizza, you name it. On the trans-Atlantic crossing we had 70 kids on board total, that’s all and of course what happened with the drink spill was just an isolated incident but the subject of children being allowed there is one worthy of discussion.

Things are certainly different in the UK as pubs close to London seem to be the most child-hating places in Europe. I’ve found out when Heidi and I have been trying to find somewhere to go with Kye and seeing staff react with a panic that suggests I’ve just brought a bag of scorpions on to the premises. Then they ask us to leave. I have mentioned before that the best treatment (if you could call it that) we got was a bar manager pointing at a dark, smelly corner of the pub we were in and we said it would be OK if we all ordered food and stayed out of sight. We told them to sod off……well I did………Kye didn’t because she is three years old, obviously.

Now I know there will be a lot of differing opinions when people read this. Some would say no problem so long as the children are well behaved (and the vast majority are) while others will say that noisy children in a pub, bar or restaurant easily ruins the experience. On the other hand, some feel that kids are OK in pubs and bars as long as they are “seen and not heard” and gone by 8 pm or so.  Me, what do I think? Well I like the family atmosphere we provide at the RedFrog Pub and Kye loves the little sliders we serve there. But I can understand both points of view but personally it hasn’t been a problem but perhaps we should look at adopting a rule as we do in the piano bars and have it adults only after 10 pm. It’s an interesting topic so please let me know what you think.

So I am working in the office here in Miami and have meetings and using the entertainment and operations offices to work from. There are lots of new faces here and some who have been here for some time who I don’t really know that well and that means I have to be careful. Let me explain why.

You see, Calvyn is here with me and that means we have our usual arguments and name calling sessions rather similar to those we have on our live morning shows and those who have seen them will know what I mean. We don’t really argue but I guess…..well……..we are like a married couple who bicker and fight and most of all………….make fun of each other’s ……….. well ……….. everything. This kind of behavior is commonplace on ships and nowhere more so than in the cruise staff department amongst the dancers, entertainment staff and the musicians. I suspect that this is not just the case at Carnival but on other cruise lines as well, it’s part of who we are and part of life on board.

Just like other places of business, what we say and do these days is very tame now though compared to where we were when I first started on ships. You see back then it was a massively male dominated industry, especially on board. There were no female crew members in the dining rooms, no female bar staff and no female housekeeping personnel either. It was the dancers, the spa and a few casino and pursers. And back then before the PC world which we now live in was born the stuff we said to each other was of a much stronger variety. Did it offend? Possibly but most thought it to be funny and was often what got you through the day. Anyway, there are times when I forget this and yesterday was such a time. There we were in the entertainment offices. I was using one of the vacant offices and trying to concentrate on answering Facebook questions which for those who with me there yesterday you will know it was not an easy day. Calvyn was there as well, doing nothing except annoying me by listing all the things he didn’t want to eat for lunch. “I don’t want salad. I don’t want a burger. Maybe I will have a pizza…, I don’t want a pizza.” He said this over and over again in a voice that sounded like a mixture between Pee Wee Herman and Elmer Fudd and, quite frankly, he was getting on my sodding nerves.

It was when he said, “Maybe I’ll go to Wendy’s and have their number six combo spicy chicken ………, I won’t have that.” That’s when I lost my mind. Picking up my half-drunk bottle of Dasani water, I flung it at him with all my might and as I did so I yelled, “Will you just piss off you stinking $@#$#$^^*()()(%#@.”  I have no idea where those words came from or what they mean when used in a sentence together but it’s what I screamed as the Dasani bottle hit Calvyn square on the nose. I was about to gloat at my perfect aim and my brilliant use of profanity but all this was cut short by the sight of a certain senior vice president standing in the doorway ……………….oh, bugger.

There are many people who make the transition from ships to shoreside easily and there are those who find it difficult. I think I would be one of those who would find it difficult because the name calling and joshing we have on board for the most part just does not exist in the corporate politically correct world we all work in. It’s the same at schools today. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not talking about bullying, that’s a completely different subject and has no place anywhere. No, what I am talking about is good old fashioned ribbing. I worry that Kye and others of her generation will grow up to live in a world where there is no fun, no silly harmless name calling and no simply being a kid. Kids are endlessly creative in inventing new and hilariously un-PC insults with which to tease each other. It has always been this way. That’s what growing up is all about isn’t it? Some will say there is indeed no place for it at all at school or in the workplace. Maybe they are right, maybe I am a dinosaur but it would, I think, be a shame if we got rid of it completely ……….. that would make life very dull indeed.


Your friend,


Comment Policy

Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous, unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.

52 Responses to KIDS IN THE FROG

  1. Christopher Brito says:

    Don’t go anywhere John, I can’t tell you how many people I have booked, who have sailed with you have told me, you gave them the best 7 day vacation ever. Of course, the staff did their part. But you will always be in my opinion the best cruise director I ever had on a carnival ship and the one and only cruise director who shook my hand when I got off the Carnival Triumph inaugural in Miami, wishing me a safe trip home. You sir, are amazing!

  2. Eileene says:

    John, I couldn’t agree with you more about the damper that “politically-correct” rules put on fun. The company I originally worked for here was full of prank-pullers, and we celebrated every little company victory. Now, there’s none of that, and it’s very dull.

    As for kids in the RFP: A family played games in the RPF while I was onboard the Magic in September. The children were young (pre-school), but they weren’t in any way annoying or misbehaving, which I attribute to the parents. I don’t mind children in RFP as long as there’s no hesitation to remove them if they get rowdy — same as for any adult who does the same. 🙂

  3. Michelle says:

    Please don’t ban children from the RedFrog Pub. We will be on the Breeze in 23 days and my daughter (10) can’t wait to test out the wings. She won’t be running around and bumping into anyone…I promise! 🙂

  4. MaryJane says:

    Regarding under 21s in the Red Frog pub..

    I was just in a Red Robin, a very family oriented restaurant and they didn’t allow anyone under the age of 21 in their bar area.. perhaps Red Frog could have a section where under 21’s were not allowed?

  5. I’m holding down my end of the fort in the ribbing department don’t you worry! And I am of the female variety so I got both the PC and non PC covered my friend! So shut the hell up and get back to work! (kill them with kindness and sarcasm till they are so confused they don’t know what is what!)

  6. Tom Cantele says:

    John, as I see it you are always giving things away. And you are always talking about Calvin. And very un fun customers,
    your underwear and everything els. But how about a backstage pass for the shows? I am
    sure it would add to my enjoyment of the cruise even if I am as my kids say Older Than Dirt and F–t Dust. LMAO Love Your Blog

  7. Dutchman says:

    Kids in the Red frog, a Pub is a bar, not many people take kids into a bar around where I live, or do we see kids in bars when on vacation. Kids will be kids and most don’t know how to walk only run, and parents will always be looking the other way because there kids are wounderful, Im sure you will hear about them, in the end it’s is not a place for kids.

  8. captnlen says:

    Jean and I engage in this ribbing a lot, at home, on the ship in diners sometimes causing others to turn and stare. Some local waitresses at places we frewuent frequently have come to accet but others are ready to show us the door. But heck it is what friends can do isn’t it. Lets see Jean you me and Calvyn doing a 4 way on BC6. Should turn a few heads 🙂

  9. Pat Davidson says:

    John, a few people had questions abour the Fascination. We took the Fascination last September (2011), it was great, the crew, the wait stuff, the CD, everyone was great – we booked the DREAM after that, and had as much fun on the DREAM, although a different class ship – everything Carnival does, they do it right – keep up the good work.

  10. grace says:

    Just want to comment on kids in the pub. I do not believe that they belong there at anytime. There really need to be some adult only areas on the ship and not just after 10 pm. And the serenity area doesn’t count as it is outside. Just my opinion.

  11. nick palermo says:

    John, I have three kids and love them dearly, but they have no place in a pub. Not only is it inappropriate for them to witness adults (some who may be very “happy”) but it may keep adults from enjoying themselves as there are children present. Just as there are adults only comedy shows same should go for bars.

    • lisa wiggs says:

      I think the RFP should not allow children after 8:00 p.m. This will allow adults to enjoy the pub after the kids have eaten the wings for dinner.

      • Charles Forshee says:

        John, We are on the Breezze now. There have been some kids in the RFP bur thet have all been very well behaved as they have been all over the ship. It would be nice to have a time when they won’t be allowed so that the audlts could br audlts.

  12. Jose says:

    Kids have no business in an adult playground. Adults aren’t allowed to hang out in Club O2 or any other children’s area are they? What kind of parent would allow their kid in an adult bar anyway? That is what is wrong with kid’s today. Not their fault, it is the irresponsible parents fault that don’t know how to be parents and draw the line. This would be the same parents that allow their kids to totally mis-behave on the ship. Sadly the kids are unsupervised and act like hellions. Future America.

  13. Jose F says:

    No kids in pubs or bars for me, but if its not a rule get them outta there at 8pm.

  14. Ed Bell says:

    John, Always enjoy your blog. Almost always would like to slap half the people you have to deal with. Carnival especially should never allow passengers to swear at employees. One swear word they get informed one more and they are off ship at next port. And this comes from someone who, if not for a fellow passenger would have punched the lights out of a cruise director on a now defunct cruise line. And with good reason I might add.Now about the pub issue. Until they have wings somewhere else on board then the pub should be open to kids. Where I live in Michigan any of the pub type bars with wings accept kids. Our family on a regular basis take the everyone from babies to teens to pubs for wings and it’s never been a issue here. We don’t stay after 9 or so but it’s just fine here. The little town I live near has a bar known for it’s burger’s and families come from all around for them.

    • Dawn Laidlaw says:

      Calvin…go for the spicy chicken at Wendys. Always a winner. And, you need to work on dodging erratically thrown flying objects. As for kids in the Frog, that is a difficult one. My kid is 19. Can’t he come in? He rarely runs about knocking drinks…well, never runs about. As a parent, I would prefer to have him with me. But, I also would not enjoy a family with 12 rug rats running amuck. How do you turn that into a rule? Maybe if the kids are not behaved, out they go.

    • nick palermo says:

      Is redfrog a pub that sells wings or a restaurant that sells beer, there is a diffence, Chilis is a restaurant that sells beer, Bar Louie is a bar that serves food and you have to be 21 to get in. Kids don’t belong in bars with drinking adults, it’s inappropriate.

  15. Rob says:

    I have sailed 2 times on the Magic. Once in Europe with my wife and once in the Caribbean with wife and kids. I have no problem with kids in the RFP. The atmosphere is fine for kids. I have been in there when some other younger adults started to get a little loud using adult language. No problem, I left with the kids. I wasn’t offended by the others having their fun. So really, I think it comes down to do what you and your family are comfortable with. Don’t start restricting where families can be together. It is a family cruise line.

  16. cruzin2some says:

    Dear John,
    Kids in the pub in the day time is no big deal. After hours not so much as adults need a place to cut loose. Kids running around spilling drinks should be charged to the parents sail and sign card. The drinks and the dry cleaning. That should make the patents pay alittle more attention. The Cruzin2some

  17. John Tator says:

    About Kids in Red Frog….
    Looking back on my years as a kid cruising, one of the nice things was that you could go through any door you want as long as it is not labeled CREW. So, therefore, I think you might get more parents complaining that their kids are not allowed, than people who would complain that kids are allowed. This incident was just a freak opportunity, when people go on a Carnival cruise, you know that it is a family environment, you are not on Seabourn, you are not paying $10,000 for a week cruise, thus kids should still be allowed.
    On the money side, maybe look into how much profit you gain from sodas and smoothies from the pub, and with it being so close to the kids clubs, I would expect that number to be very high, by eliminating kids, you are eliminating profits, and that would not make some people very happy.

  18. Leonard Vavra says:

    As vip Platinum members we have been on many cruises that had children of all ages on board. for the most part they are well behaved. Some parents do let their kids run wild and even I, whom I consider pretty easy going get upset with these kids.I wish Carnival would take a harder line with the very few out of control kids and particularly their parents.. As far as the RFP goes they should not be banned if they are not wild. We just did the Triumph in sept and are doing it again in may of 13 and will be on board with friends that will be with their kids.

  19. Dana T says:

    I’m with Rob & Ed Bell and anyone else who said they didn’t have an issue with kids in the Red Frog Pub. My “kids” are grown, so I don’t have a horse in that race…However, I was on the Breeze this last summer and we met some of the nicest folks who were there with children. It would have been a shame had they not been able to enjoy the great atmosphere and wonderful wait staff unless they left the kids behind. I say keep it family-friendly. I understand folks saying kids shouldn’t be in a bar…but drinks are served all around the ship…so just not a big deal to me if the kids are around.

  20. Stacey says:

    In response to your question about Kids in the Pub. Although I don’t think it would be inappropriate to say “No kids after 10pm”, how do people expect kids to learn how to act in public restaurants without exposing them to it.

    My son has been eating out since he was 3 months old. We have always taken him at appropriate times,, what would you expect if you have a 4 yr old out for dinner at 10:30pm…… He has had a few “moments” when he was little where my husband and I took turns eating because of his behavior. We would just take him out of the restaurant when he was younger if he was acting up,(and we did removed him, didn’t make others suffer his attitude) but he has wonderful manners now as a 10 yr old. He always thanks the server for taking care of us, says please and thank you when asking for things and if it were up to him all tips would be VERY generous. We will be out and he will look at other kids and ask ” Why are they acting like that mom? Don’t they know any better?”.

    You can’t just expect kids to know how to behave in situations if you don’t give them the chance to learn.

  21. Bob says:

    I’ve seen a couple of posts lately about Christmas services. People need to realize that the holidays is a very busy time for clergy. They are away from their church, do they expect someone else’s spiritual leader to be away from their flock?

    • Rev Barb in Canada says:

      There are many clergy who don’t have church responsibilities who are able to cruise over holy days. Some lines ensure that they contract services and have religious support. Carnival does not, probably because of a lack of understanding of spirituality by “The Beards”.

      • Faye says:

        I am so sorry Carnival does not have religious for daily Mass or devotions.
        Especially for the devout.At the least on Holy Days such as Ash Wednesday.Keeps me loyal to the lines that carry them.

  22. Janey-OKGIRL says:

    I live in Oklahoma and children are not allowed in the bars or the bar area of restaurants.

    I think it would be okay to allow them in the area to the side that is the main seating area, just not at or in front of the actual bar.

    I don’t think kids should ever be allowed to sit at a bar even if they are with their parents. Seating at the bar is very limited, especially in the evening at the casino bars.

  23. kim roddey says:

    Hi John, i’m an avid fan of yours and read your blog every week in my undies! On February 21 myself and a large group of Emergency Room nurses will be cruising on the Carnival Triumph. Could you tell me who the CD will be and also give me a run down on the entertainment schedule for our “get away from everything” cruise? Thanks so much for what you do, you are hilarious.

    • The Cruzin2some says:

      Hello Kim,
      ER Nurses just gave my Dad all the wonderful care he deserved until his passing. So Iam glad to be able to help you out. At the bottom of the main page on John’s Blog there is a spot where you can click on to get the 2012/13 CD Schedule. However I went ahead and looked and the February 2013 Schedule for the CCL Triumph has got Jen Baxter as your CD. From what Iam told she is a hoot.
      She uses alot of sparkle makeup and John said that when he was on the ship after her and they gave him her room while he was CD. He got sparkles all over his Thingy. I know TMI huh!!! But I have called him Johnny Sparkles ever since.
      Have a great cruise!!
      The Cruzin2some James & Nancy Enslow

  24. Lori says:

    Leave them kids alone!

  25. Rick Williamson says:

    I know this isn’t part of this blog. But why am I unable to scrol down John’s face book face that’s posted on John’s home page. It just started for me today. When I put my pointer on it and try the whole page moves down not just his facebook page. Thanks

  26. Tracy Smith says:

    I’m thrilled to hear you and Calvyn will be doing the morning show, and that you will host the Marriage show on BC6. But I’m still holding out hope that you will do your bedtime story….. please?

  27. Ron says:

    The Red Frog is primarily a bar. A bar that sell food but a bar nonetheless. Bars are not for children. The venue should be adults only after 8p. As the night wears on, things sometimes get a little bawdy. There are areas of the ship that are restricted to under the age of 21, why is it so wrong to provide a venue that is for those over 21 only?

  28. Lee says:

    I have no problem with anyone in the bar areas. What I have a problem with are supposed adults that act like children. Where is it written that adults have to have filthy language or lewd behavior to have fun? My Dad always stressed, “never say in public what you will not do in public”.

  29. Ellen Blackwell says:

    John, I don’t think you should stress too much over the “youth and vitality” of the cruise director staff. Recall most of America is still stuck in baby-boomer time, or baby-boomer-echo time (their children). You may be in a profession that tends to attract younger types – see hotel business – but it absolutely does not mean you have anything less to offer – in fact, the opposite is true. Don’t let it get to you. You are who you are.

  30. Angela Callbeck says:

    Greetings, John, I’m not sure this is the best way to get my question answered but since you’re on the subject of the Red Frog Pub, here goes: Our party of 22 sailed on the Magic 10/7/12 and made good friends with the lovely people working in the Frog. So much so, that we are including some of their pictures on our Christmas card this year, and would like to send a card to them. What is the best way to do that? That cruise (our 4th with CCL) was the best yet- can’t wait to go again! And as for the children, drinks get spilled in ANY bar, regardless of the age of the age of the patrons! Thanks John, Angie

    • Lisa says:

      The kids get to hang out in all the restaurants, please, give me a place where I don’t have to fight large families for a pre-dinner drink. I say no kids at the bar. I was a nine day cruise on the Magic and tried to go to the RFB for a pre-dinner drink each night. We often couldn’t sit at the bar because one or to parents had several of their kids on the barstools. If you want to hang out… go do it somewhere ellse or at least at a table, but leave the bar to those of us who want to have a drink. Kids do not need to be seated at a bar.

      I agree with the poster who said they have their place (Circle C), give us our indorr play space for adults.

  31. Karen says:

    If I want to see kids in a pub/bar atmosphere, I would visit my local Applebee’s. There are few places on a ship adults can escape kids and a pub should be one of those places! I have kids and I don’t intend on allowing them in Red Frog… others with kids should follow suit.

  32. Shawn Kelly says:

    Just wanted to drop a comment about kids in the bar areas. My kids get the Bottomless Bubbles package when they sail, The only place to get their cokes and fantas is at the bar!! Is it possible kids are there to get sodas? Maybe if they offered somewhere else to get sodas they wouldn’t be at the bars so much!


    • james says:

      I was thinking about this and remember when I was in Ireland there pubs were family friendly. It was nice I don’t Mind we’ll Behaved kids. If your talking 1-4 year old kids msaybe not allowed. But older kids being annoying is a parenting problem. And perhaps the unruly kids and there parents should be banned.maybe this will give the m incentive to love and teach. There children.

  33. robert ramunno says:

    well its my 2 cents worth, and I think too many people go on vacation and think their kids can run around everyplace and do what ever they want. its not just running around in a bar, but running around the ship, Its not being able to go into the pool because the kids are all jumping around,Ant their parents care less because their on vacation.

  34. Linda (Mom of DJ) says:

    DJ says boxers are like an elegant old hotel… *because of the ball room and tighty whites are like a Motel 6 *because there is no ball room.

    Linda (Mom of DJ)

  35. Linda (Mom of DJ) says:


    My suggestion would be to make the interior of the Red Frog Pub 16 and over like the gym. That way families could still enjoy what the Red Frog Pub offers at the exterior dining area on Promenade.

    And the Fooze ball tables would still be accessible from the Ocean Plaza side to all ages.

    Linda (Mom of DJ)

  36. Greg Matthews says:

    Do what many traditional shoreside establishments do: all ages from opening until 2100 or 2200, 18 or 21 up after. Families get their family time, grown ups get their adult time, everyone gets wings.

  37. Jeff Williams says:

    We will on the Breeze on February 12th! CAN NOT WAIT! We have done the Dream twice over the last two years, our last CD was girl who went by 6’2″ and she was fabulous! Have never been let down on any of our 3 Carnival cruses and I am sure we wont be this time! Will you still be the CD in February 2013?
    Jeff Williams

  38. Michelle Smith says:

    Love the blog. I thought since we also have a three year old you might get a chuckle out of this exchange between she and I earlier today. She has cruised 7 times and talks constantly about the next one. Enjoy Christmas with your family. God Bless.
    Mom: Hey Bean, did you like Christmas? Santa left some pretty cool toys for you.
    Bean: He forgot my cruise ship.
    Mom: Cruise Ships are too big for Santa to bring as a present.
    Bean: I only asked him to bring a little one.
    Mom: You mean like a toy cruise ship?
    Bean: Do they have chocolate melting cake on a toy cruise ship?

  39. lisa reskovac says:

    no kids should not be permitted in the pub, we adults deserve some places all to ourselves. and even if you say no kids, there will still be those few parents who bring them in anyway because rules dont apply to them, just like the serenity area, i see kids there every cruise, walk right past the signs.

  40. John. This is one of your postings that I can directly relate to as I’ve had the same experiences.
    Back around 1998 or so, I took some modeling classes (part of preparing for job interviews) and on more than one occasion during shows, I found myself in the same position you did, in the presence of pretty young girls in states of near (or outright) nakedness during clothing changes. I still have memories of the beautiful girl who came in, smiled at me then proceeded to simply drop her duds in front of me. And to complicate things even further, I had to undress & dress as well at the same time. Yes we kept it professional and I did my best to look away but oh my goodness!!
    Considering I was 37 years old at the time, I remember two feelings. 1. That dirty old man feeling you mentioned and 2. Why couldn’t this have happened more often back when I was 17 or so.
    (Actually at 17, not to be conceited, but I was considered really cute by the local teen female population and yes things did happen, though thankfully now (for obvious biological reasons) I never went “all the way” till my early 20s (yes I stayed a virgin). So maybe its a good thing it didn’t happen as often as I would have liked).
    Anyway those modeling classes did help. I ended up getting a job at NASA Kennedy Space Center soon afterward.
    Anyway, once again Happy Trails…err…Sails to You as Kyrsten and I remember the Dream…and look forward to Nov 2014 and our next Cruise. Either the Eastern Caribbean itinerary on the Dream (since we live 5 miles from Port Canaveral) or maybe the Breeze.

  41. tanya says:

    You are a fun guy! Making people laugh and having a good time. You have made great memories for so many people including us. Keep doing what you do! If you can’t have fun and enjoy what you do, then why do it?????
    We love what you do and you are the best at what you do. We have been on eleven cruises and you have been the BEST cruise director BY FAR. We wish they all could have been like you!!! Please don’t change. You made us laugh and we still talk about the funny skit you did on the last night to this day!!! ROCK ON!!! Keep Calm and laugh on!!!
    ~the brown fam!

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