April 1, 2013 -

John Heald

So the Miami Heat were on a massive winning streak and then I arrive in town and they get their arses kicked by a heard of bulls. Yep, basketball, I love it and so do millions of people around the world. I fell in love with basketball the first time I went to see a Miami Heat game. The American Airlines Stadium was packed and while I had not very good seats I could see the main attraction, the Miami Heat dancers. I love them all and expect they have names like Crystal and Summer. I watched them dressed in very short cheerleader-type skirts and tight T-shirts with the Heat emblem festooned across their ample breasts. I dreamt that on hearing my British accent I would have my Hugh Grant moment with in the changing room.

OK, sorry, got sidetracked there. So back to the first game I saw and my memories were of an unbelievably squeaky wooden floor on which two sets of unfeasibly tall men ran from one end of the court to the other like baggy metronomes, dropping the ball into opposing hoops. But slowly I began to realise it was much more, so much more and now I love the game and worship at the temple where the giants play.

Basketball in the UK is getting more popular and so is the NBA. Players like LeBron, Howard, Wade, Bryant, etc. are now slowly becoming household names. If though you ask Brits to name two famous basketball players, they will most likely say…“Michael Jordan” and ……… “Dennis Rodman” …….yep, Dennis Rodman. He is known not for being a decent player for Chicago but for his flamboyant behavior, tattoos, piercings, cross dressing and for being a bad boy. And in the UK at least, he is even more infamous, especially since he was seen visiting the absolute nutjob that is North Korea’s leader, Kim Jong Un.

Now Dennis Rodman was quoted as saying that Kim was just “a fun loving kid.” Well, Dennis, fun loving kids are annoying when they have access to a slingshot or one of those mega spray water gun thingies, let alone a nuclear arsenal and a million-strong army. I guess Mr. Rodman must have taken too many offensive fouls during his time as a Chicago Bull because he now seems to have the brain capacity of an amoeba. And as for Kim Jong Un…………what the hell is going on with his haircut? Come on Kim, get with the Gangham Style

So after a long time away let’s have a look at 10 questions posted to the blog. Away we go.

Lana Bosovitch asks:
Your room service menu leaves a lot to be desired and compared to my past cruise experiences I have to write that the lack of hot food and simple burgers and pizza for midnight snacks means that you are way behind other cruise lines. Why is Carnival so frugal with what they provide the passengers for room service?

John says:
Hello Lana Bosovitch,
I was surprised to read this because I have always felt that our complimentary room service menu was a superb one. In fact, let’s have a quick look at it shall we?

All Sandwiches are served with Potato Salad, Coleslaw, Potato Chips or Pretzels.
Choice of White, Whole Wheat or Rye Bread.

Tuna Salad
Roast Turkey
Ham and Cheese
Peanut Butter and Jelly
Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato
Shrimp Salad on French Roll
Mozzarella & Portobello Mushrooms on Focaccia
Roasted New York Strip Loin and Cheddar Cheese on French Bread

Grilled American Cheese
Grilled Reuben with Corned Beef and Swiss Cheese
Chicken Fajita, Guacamole with Greens in a Jalapeno & Tomato Wrap
Hot Pastrami Sandwich on Rye Bread

Mixed Greens (Served with Choice of Ranch, Thousand Island, Balsamic Vinaigrette, Blue Cheese or Fat Free Honey Mustard Dressing)
Caesar Salad (Hearts of Romaine Lettuce Tossed with our Caesar Dressing, freshly grated Parmesan Cheese, Anchovies and Herb Croutons)
Assorted Vegetable Sticks with Blue Cheese Dip

New York Cheesecake
Assorted Cookies
Chocolate Cake
Fresh Fruit Salad
Strawberry Yogurt

Bottled Spring Water is Available in Your Stateroom for a Nominal Fee
Orange – Tomato – Apple – Grapefruit Juice
Regular or Decaffeinated Coffee
Hot Tea – Iced Tea
Hot Chocolate – Milk
Skim Milk – Chocolate Milk

Soft Drinks available 24 Hours
Coca Cola – Diet Coke
Sprite – Diet Sprite
Club Soda – Ginger Ale
Tonic Water

Budweiser – Bud Light – Miller Lite
Coors Light – Michelob Ultra

Heineken – Corona – Beck’s
Amstel Light

There you go and, respectfully, I think it offers a great selection. Our pizza is open 24 hours and I think I am correct in saying that there is a charge on some lines for late night service. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your cruise and if you have any further comments please let me know.
Best wishes.

Jodi Politan asks:
How and when can I sign up for your Blogger Cruise #7 on the Sunshine on Feb. 16th 2014. Already booked on the cruise.

John says:
Hello Jodi Politan,
Thanks so very much for joining us on our 7th annual Bloggers Cruise and I will be taking a registration here of all those who wish to be included in the activities and shows, etc., later this year. I will do my best to make this a wonderful cruise for you and if you have any questions, please let me know.
Best wishes.

Ron Millstein asks:
There should be some kind of compensation package in place for ships that miss a port that is often missed. I refer to, of course, Roatan which we missed on the Carnival Dream. I spoke to crew members and they said they miss it a lot because of weather. So this is the question — which I hope you will answer avoiding the smut and sarcasm which you have become infamous for and give me a straight answer if you are capable. Why does Carnival keep this as a port if it is missed more times than it is called at? Stupid runs rife, I see Mr. Heald in the corridors of Carnival because we missed the port because of what the captain claimed to be “high winds,” and zero compensation was offered. Why have this as a port of call if there is a big chance that the ship will abort? Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Ron Milstein

John says:
Hello Ron Millstein,
The fact is that we don’t miss the beautiful port of Mahogany Bay more than we call there and to suggest otherwise is, I am afraid, totally and utterly incorrect. Yes, we have missed the port a few times because of the high winds which when entering the port, can be very dangerous indeed as a ship wreck that you can see as you enter clearly shows. We always hate to miss a port and especially one such as Mahogany Bay because it is such a great place for our guests to visit and I am sorry that this happened on your cruise. I hope sincerely that you enjoyed the cruise though and I hope one day soon you will get a chance to visit Roatan.
Best wishes.

Tyler Jones asks:
Hey John,
I was wondering if you can offer any insight on the Carnival Sensation, I will be sailing out on a four-day cruise to the Bahamas in May 2013. I have read some mixed reviews because of the ships age, but mostly read positive reviews. What are your thoughts/opinions about the Carnival Sensation? Love reading all your blogs and posts on Facebook! Keep up the wonderful work!
Who is the cruise director for the Carnival Sensation?

Jonh says:
Hello Tyler Jones,
She is a great ship and I ask kindly that you remember that reviews are personal opinions and not always based on fact. The ship is one of my favourtites as she was the first ship I delivered from new and I know that you will have a wonderful time. The cruise director will be the one and only Wee Jimmy who is very funny and I hope you get a chance to meet him. If there is anything you need or if you have any questions please let me know. Best wishes and have a great cruise.

Lori Courville asks:
Hi John, I’m a first time poster. I want to first say we have sailed the Carnival Magic two times in the last 10 months and thoroughly enjoyed James as our CD!! He was not only fun but helped us play a prank on a fellow cruiser. We are sailing the Carnival Sunshine in 2014 and will miss him but wanted to experience a new boat this time. My question is: what is Carnival’s policy on letting us decorate our friend’s cabin while they are out. Will we be able to get them to open their cabin for us with no problem? Thanks a bunch, look forward to our next sail 🙂

John says:
Hello Lori Courville,
I am so glad you had fun and I will pass your kind words to James. I am afraid that unless your friends give you their cabin key or written permission presented by them at the guest services desk that you will not be able to get into the cabin. You can, of course, decorate the door which will be fun I think. If there is anything I can do, please let me know though and I wish you all the best of times. Best wishes.

Dr. Jeffery Bruce asks:
John, I turn eagerly to your column because, unlike most if not all corporate-based blogs, I am able to revel in your lack of political correctness and tongue-in-cheek style. In this age of implicit litigation and threatened reprisals for any commentator who dares to raise their head voice above the normal. Yes, sir, you are a breath of fresh air.

John says:
Hello Doctor Jeffrey Bruce,
I realise that my writing is not for everyone and so it is uplifting to read your kind words. I hope we get to meet one day and thank you for being so very kind.
Best wishes

Brandi sterling asks:
Good morning John!
We are cruising on the March 30 sailing on Carnival Breeze and were excited to have CD Butch after hearing wonderful things. I see this morning, he will now be taking a much needed break. Do you know who we will have the pleasure of having in his absence?

John asks:
Hello Brandi Sterling,
Yes, he is taking a break and I agree that it is well deserved. Your CD will be Brent who is a wonderful Canadian jokester who I know you will truly enjoy. Have a great time and enjoy this wonderful ship. Best wishes

Delia Benmosche asks:
John! On our recent sailing on the Carnival Ecstasy, I was chosen to participate in the Hasbro Game show night! On my team, we had an eight-year-old named _____ who could not throw the basketball properly and because of him, we lost. I was very angry at this because the other team had a kid but he was much older, maybe 14 or more, and got the balls in the row OK. I lost a chance of the star prize and this is not the way it should be. Why have kids in the game or if you do have a kids-only afternoon but the evening Hasbro event should be adults only. There were many kids on the ship and for this and other reasons, they ruined my cruise.

John says:
Hello Delia Benmosche,
I am sorry to read this but I hope you will try and allow me to explain. You see, Hasbro is a family game and it appears on TV involving families and people of all ages. The pre-games involve Trivial Pursuit games, etc., and if a child offers up an answer we always try and include them and have a mixture of demographics on stage. I am sorry that your team lost but I am sure if you really give this true consideration, it wasn’t just because of the child. I hope you get the chance to play on your next cruise and that this time you win.
Best wishes.

Beverley Henderson asks:
There are four of us that cruise with Carnival at least once a year with it usually a back to back or a cruise with 14-plus days. Three of us are Platinum members, soon to be going to the next level. My question is although we enjoy each other company, we prefer to sit at a larger table so that we might meet other people. As you know, one of the first things we have to do is go to the dining room and TRY to get our table changed. This is not always possible unless it is a back to
back then we can usually ask for a larger table for the second week. Is there any way in our booking to ask for that larger table so we don’t have to run right down to the dining room? If you could please let me know before September as we are booked on the Carnival Freedom for a
back to back.
Thank you.

John says:
Hello Beverley Henderson,
I will certainly do my best and please send me your cabin numbers here on the blog one month before you sail or better still can you send me the same information five days before your cruise on my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/johnheald. I wish you all a great time.
Best wishes.

Amanda Evans says:
Hi John,
I wrote to you a while back, on January 9. I apologize if it is too soon to write again – but since I haven’t heard from you and I’m really desperate for these answers so that I can have peace of mind and look forward to our cruise without fears and worries, I thought I’d try.

My fiancé and I will be sailing on Carnival Inspiration this coming July 22, 2013 to Catalina Island and Ensenada and we are SO EXCITED! I seriously cannot tell you… It is our first “real” vacation together, AND our first cruise, AND our honeymoon all in one. (I have shared the Carnival Gifts link with my mom in hopes that she’ll pass it around to family and friends, because I think it would just be SO DARN ROMANTIC to arrive to find flowers in the room, or receive a gift of champagne and strawberries, or whatnot!! 🙂 )

My questions are related to the fact that I am a very large lady – 500 pounds with some mobility issues and I want to be sure I’ve done whatever is needed to have a great vacation. I cannot walk more than a very short distance or stand for more than three to five minutes without extreme back pain. I will either rent or purchase a scooter before our cruise, and we have booked the fully accessible cabin for this reason.

I read a horror story about a larger woman on a mobility scooter breaking the gangplank and nearly falling into the gap between the ship and the dock. Can you calm my fears by sharing the weight limit of the gangplank on the Carnival Inspiration? Is there a weight limit on the toilets in the rooms? I see that they are wall-mounted rather than supported on the floor. Is this the same.
in the accessible cabins? I read one story where a self-identified “super sized BBW” woman expressed concerns about the toilet in her room and the staff were able to install a block under the toilet to support it. Is this something you’ve heard of? Can it be arranged ahead of time?

Would it be possible for me to sit during the safety drill? I cannot stand comfortably for more than two to three minutes. Are there any other things that you’ve learned over the years that larger cruisers should anticipate/be prepared to do differently? Thanks in advance for your courteous attention,
Amanda Evans

John says:
Hello Amanda Evans,
I am very glad that you have written to me and please do not worry because we will make sure you and those traveling with you have a brilliant time. Please, when you read this, can you contact Carnival’s guest access services desk and let them know your cabin number? This will be then documented and sent to the ship. I also ask that one week before you sail if you can please contact me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/johnheald and I will alert the ship and make sure she is well looked after. We have a special needs team on board who will look after you during the safety briefing and in a real emergency and, of course, you will be allowed to stay on your scooter. I am here if you have any questions and I wish you all the best of times.
Best wishes.

Richard says:
I saw your posting on Facebook regarding Sierra Nevada Pale Ale being added to the Carnival beer list. Do you know when it will be available? As far as I can tell from the Interwebs it’s not currently available.

John says:
Hello Richard,
It’s now available across the fleet and I hope you get a chance to enjoy it on board soon.
Best wishes.

Paul Ruby asks:
John, my son will be taking his last vacation before he goes to Parris Island to start his United States Marine Corps training. We will all be on the Magic 4/28 and I hope you can do something very special for my son Ricky. He will be in cabin 2419 and I would like to see him being upgraded and given VIP treatment before he starts his service to protect his nation.

John says:
Hello Paul Ruby,
Please would you thank your son for his upcoming service and I wish him all the very best as he starts his life in the US Marine Corps. I am afraid I cannot upgrade him but I will send him something to wish him a wonderful cruise. Thanks again and have a great time.
Best wishes.

Vanessa Morgan asks:
Are you able to tell me if there will be any dance hosts on the trans-Atlantic cruise I will be doing with you back to New York on the Carnival Legend? We had them on Holland America and as a single cruiser, I really enjoyed it. Does Carnival provide this?

John says:
Hello Vanessa Morgan,
I am sorry to say we do not have them on this voyage or indeed on any of our cruises. I know they are very popular at our sister line but my apologies that we do not have them at Carnival. I know though you will have a wonderful time and if there is anything I can do for you, please do let me know.
Best wishes and see you soon.

And that’s all for today with my thanks to all those who post comments here and take the time to read my musings.

Let’s say a big congratulations to Adri of the Carnival Conquest’s Alchemy Bar who was named bartender of the year for the second year in a row.


She is a wonderful lady and I hope you all get a chance to meet this deserved winner. Congratulations Adri, I am very proud of you.

“Hello John”…….. “We missed you, John.” These proclamations have been ringing in my ears since I walked on board the Carnival Legend yesterday and were said sincerely by the staff and crew and that has made me feel so welcomed. Last night, as I walked the ship I watched the same crew say “hello” and “good evening” to every guest who passed them by. Now I have always documented how friendly our crew is but one thing struck me last night. You see, I haven’t been on a ship for some months and having stayed in so many hotels during my travels, I noticed that unlike the hotel guests, the guests here on the Carnival Legend said “hello” back. This I think proves that a cruise creates an atmosphere that a hotel or resort just cannot compete with…….they must be so jealous.

Yep, it’s been some time since I have been on a ship that is in operation, full of people so happy to be on vacation, so ready to relax and have fun. After all that has happened and all that has been reported in the press in recent weeks, it is such a pleasure to see this and to see that Carnival continues to be the most affordable and most fun vacation choice there is. And as I sit here in m underpants, I realise that this atmosphere of joyous excitement here on the Carnival Legend can be, right now found on all of our ships and soon will be on Carnival Triumph and Carnival Sunshine, as well. This cruise is the last the Carnival Legend will have in the Caribbean and next Sunday I shall be in the CD chair trying to remember how to be a cruise director (it’s been five months) as we head across the Atlantic. But that’s for next week, this is the last of the Caribbean cruises and here is who is sailing with us

UK 32

I will of course be here and on Facebook with a full preview of that in the week ahead and live reports each day as we head to Barcelona next Sunday.

So I have a busy week arranging and finalizing the oh FFS this sodding computer keeps putting a Z where there should be an S…….finalising (spelt correctly you bastard Dell) the trans-Atlantic crossing and the forthcoming European season. James Dunn remains the CD here this cruise and has done a brilliant job as always.

It is, as I said, so nice to be back on a ship, seeing everyone enjoying their hard earned vacation. Vacation time is special and we are so privileged that 4.5 million people a year give their vacation time to us here at Carnival. Walking around the ship, though, it does make me chuckle how time itself and the habits we have all picked up these days manifests itself on the ships. Take the internet, for example. Ten years ago (roughly), when we first put internet cafes on the ships and a guest needed to check some sports scores or to see if they had been offered the chance to buy a bigger gentleman’s sausage, it took about maybe a minute for the connection to load. This is now, though, apparently minute guests cannot spare. We will eventually have the high speed internet connection packages on more and more ships so guests will have to wait only 10 seconds to go on YouTube to see a video of Kim Jong Un playing one on one with his new BFF Dennis Rodman.

It’s the same thing with elevators. Why do we put button in our elevators that closes the doors when we’re ready to go because we simply cannot wait 10 seconds for them to close by themselves? It’s the same on Lido deck. If I fancy some Mongolian Wok and there are 10 people in line, I will say “bugger that “and bugger off to the deli or the buffet even though it’s the delicious bowl of spicy stir fry that I desire. I am sure many of you may do the same but I encourage you not to and instead, stand in the line, talk to people — unless you’re Russian, of course, because you will have already pushed to the front of the line as we saw so many times on Carnival Breeze last year.

Time is precious, though, and, as I said, there is no more precious time than your vacation so to the millions of you who will be spending your time with us on the brilliant ships of Carnival Cruise Lines I say a huge “thank you” and we will all do our best to make sure the time you spend with us is quite simply……….the best of times. Wandering around the Carnival Legend it is so superb to see 2,700 people having the best of times and I wish the press world were here to see it for themselves.

I am excited to take over as CD next week. I am excited to get back to trying to make people laugh and to listening to the guests comments, some of which I will be sharing with you here and on Facebook. I am excited to try some new activities I have thought up and I am excited about simply being a cruise director again. There is one thing though that I am not excited about. You see, the ship has something I haven’t been involved in for some years but here it is again to torment me. Yep, this ship has the original Carnival Legends show which means……I have to wear that sodding Dolly Parton dress again. Oh FFS!

Your friend,


Comment Policy

Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous, unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.

47 Responses to I’M BACK

  1. Carol Hoefs says:

    John, I am so glad to have your blog back. Have missed the craziness. Have fun on the Legend.

  2. John, yes Dennis Rodman did play for the Chicago Bulls but most of his Championships were with the Detroit Pistons along with other awards. He officially had his number 10 retired as a Detroit Piston. He was one of the Detroit Bad Boys.

    • Tom Mitchell says:

      Ed you are absolutely incorrect. Rodman won 2 championships with Detroit and 3 with the Bulls. So saying he won most with the Pistons is, well you do the math. Just saying.

  3. Trisha Hynes says:

    Hi John
    Am going on the sunshine May 26th med can;t wait to see her &
    Was wondering does the Sunshine have music up on deck though the day,when nothing else is happening,gets very quiet.I heard some other ships do this.Spirit did not on my TA Hawaii to Sydney shame really.Also Please get them to add cookies to go with tea & coffee on deck,as u get up early be4 the sun & like a cuppa & a bit to eat to tie u over till breakfast but nothing why is that? Not a big ask I think lol. Really hope to meet you some day as u sound like a awesome guy take care cheers.

  4. Delia, are you a child? I sure hope so because I would hate to think that there is any adult who would be so childish and selfish!

    • Donna Horn says:

      My thoughts exactly Rita Presnell. I almost fell out of my chair when I read her comments. But John Heald as always was very diplomatic with his reply.

    • richstowe says:

      Was trying to choose which letter was more obnoxious, Delia’s or Ron Millstein’s. Tough decision.

  5. john i think the room service menu is fantastic as is. there are plenty of delicious choices.

    thanks, bee

  6. Cheria says:

    You were indeed missed. Carnival is not the same without you 🙂

  7. Teresa says:

    Reading the post about the room service menu reminded me of a question I have. We would love to take some home with us, but apparently we can’t buy it from the ship. Have y’all thought about bottling some of your dressings that are all time favorites? My grocery store doesn’t have any that comes close to measuring up. There are times we’d like to have a good Ceasar salad between cruises.

  8. Jose says:

    Delia Benmosche,
    Seriously? Your cruise was ruined because you did not win a $15 Hasbro prize. WTF, you need to re-evaluate your life and what is important and what is play. The kid on your team may have been a special needs child, who knows?

    People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

  9. Marlene LaMalfa says:

    Had the pleasure of meeting and being served at the Alchemy bar(Carnival Conquest) by Adri Ford. A most enjoyable young lady and so deserving of her awards. Well done Adri.

  10. Lisa Trinemeyer says:

    WHAT?!?!? DO NOT CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT ROOM SERVICE!!!! WE love each and every item on the menu, particularly the BLT, the Shrimp Salad, the Roasted New York Strip Loin, and BEST OF ALL, the Caesar Salad!!!! and as for the icing on the cake, it’s ALL FREE!!!!!

    • Rick Williamson says:

      Yes but I don’t see hambugers and fries on there. It would be nice to get them when you wanted one. The hambuger grill is only open a few hours a day. if you want one say that 1:00am you are out of luck. They close at what 11:00pm. Oh and please think about adding onion rings to your ship too. Thanks

  11. Hi again John. Good to see and read the blog again. I miss reading your blog like was years again. Now it seems the blog written as a for thought. It must be very difficult to write the blog which was your first thing and no longer as often to writing Facebook which is written constantly. Oh well, that’s how life goes.
    My wife & I will be on the Carnival Breeze again next Feb. 1st, 2014. We are really looking forward to the cruise. See you my friend.

    Paul F. Pietrangelo


  12. Bill Boudreaux says:

    AMANDA EVANS…Do not worry. My girlfriend is wheelchair bound and to date we have been on six Carnival cruises. Guest service personnel will take very good care of you on board. One thing you may want to do is print out the handicap access map of your ship from the Carnival website. You will find it near the bottom…Look for “guest with special needs”. This will show all the access routes on board and also show public restrooms that are accessible. Carnival does try to do a good job of making the vessels accessible. Have a great cruise and don’t worry about it. I do still say that the Vice President of Access Services should take a seven day cruise in a wheelchair, there is still a lot to improve on.

  13. John says:

    Will the Sunshine have the cheers program??
    The best to you.

  14. Beverly Winford says:

    John, I am so excited to be returning to our beloved Conquest sailing this Sunday the 7th. This will be our 9th time on the Conquest but the 1st since she had the 2.0 upgrades.

    Congratulations to Adri in the Alchemy bar. I will hopefully have the pleasure of meeting her and having a special cocktail that is so expertly prepared.

    Welcome back and looking forward to new blogs and FB postings, we’ve missed you.

  15. Wade Woodard says:

    Ron’s comment about Roatan does contain some truth. There are times of the year where is known to be very windy and odds are more likely that this port will be missed than made. I’d love to see your statistics showing that how often you make it into this port. Airlines are required to show % of on time arrivals; cruise lines should be required to show % of times docked at said ports.

    • Linda (Mom of DJ) says:

      Since missing ports just one of the risk people accept IF they want the privilege of cruising, then the number of times one is missed is irrelevant.

      Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to go to the best places and a tricky entry is one of those sacrifices.

      People need to remember that IF they need to go to any port, they should fly there.

      Because a cruise ship is the vacation destination, not a form of transportation.

      It is a cruise ship, not a bus!

  16. Mike Watkins says:

    Outside of the obvious rudeness of Mr. Millstein’s question, I would be surprised if “zero compensation” was offered for missing Roatan. We’ve never missed a port and not had a small OBC posted to our account for what, I’ve been told, amounts to a refund of the port fees/taxes.

    • Linda (Mom of DJ) says:

      With over 50 cruises, we have missed our share of ports for a variety of reasons.

      We missed Ensenada because of a medical emergency. We have missed Grand Turk because of strong winds. (they do not have a tug which makes docking difficult even when the winds are not very “high”)
      We have missed Grand Cayman due to rough seas…just to name a few….

      And yes, each and every time, Carnival refunds the port charges. They will appear as a credit on your Sail and Sign account.

  17. Steve says:

    Ron Millstein,

    Stupid is as stupid does

  18. Eileene says:

    John, thank you for the chuckles, as always. Enjoy your time as CD. I appreciate your comments on how rushed we are these days, even on vacation. When I sail in Sept., I am going to implement your suggestion about waiting in line, talking with others, rather than impatiently moving on. 166 days till we sail on the Magic!

  19. Judy Glennon says:

    Hi John,

    I enjoyed your blog and follow it daily. Glad to have you back and hope that I will get a chance to meet you sometime on a cruise. I am leaving on a cruise May 9th for my 7th anniversary on the Splendor, I just can’t wait. The other couple that is going with us is celebrating 45 years.

  20. try to get healthy says:

    Amanda Evans, I am quoting YOU here: “I want to be sure I’ve done whatever is needed to have a great vacation.” Please reread that a dozen times and then think about the irony of it. Your email above only asks for everyone else to accommodate you. What can YOU do for yourself?

  21. linda webber says:

    actually big ed is wrong. dennis roman won 3 championships with the bulls, and only 2 with the pistons. at least that is what my son told me just now. yes we are from chicago.

  22. Rick Williamson says:

    John my last post on here was removed for some reason. Anyway you did anwser Lana about the pizza being 24/7 but she is talking about when using room service. And not having to get dressed at 2 am and go all the way to the back of the ship in person. Plus she also said bugers which you didn’t address. They are not 24/7 as we all know and not there on the room service list. I feel the sameway about burgers and which they were 24/7 either from room serivce or the burger grill location. Now I have not on a 2.0 redone ships as of yet maybe Guys burger grill is 24/7. But if not, it would be nice to be able to get a burger anytime you like, somewhere on the ship. Thanks

  23. BENOIT cartier says:

    Hi John my girlfriend and I will sail on the wonderful miracle April 14 2013 to Hawaii I’ve plan to ask her the big demand can I ask to have a table for two in the dinning room before get jump on the ship? I don’t want to have “extra” questions from her 🙂 we are in the late sitting thank you to help me!

  24. Mark Blei says:

    If you added some Mexican to our room service it would be easy, and oh so wonderful .

  25. Teresa Cooper says:

    To Amanda Evans:

    Until recently I was also a very large cruise passenger (I have since lost 100lbs). I am happy to see you are not letting your weight stop you from enjoying your cruise. It is good you booked an accessible cabin as a I didn’t on my last cruise and it was a tight fit getting that scooter in and out. I rode that thing all over the ship-even in the buffet line. It was fun! The ship’s crew were always helpful-even offering to hold my plate in the buffet line, but I always politely declined. Be prepared for mixed treatment from passengers though. The elevators were where I was astounded at the rudeness of some people. You may have to be a little bit aggressive to prevent people from getting in front of you as if you aren’t even there. I found the best way to get on the elevators was to let other people get in on either side and then I would enter straight in the middle facing the back. Then I would just back out when I reached our floor. I hope you have a great time and congratulations on the marriage!

  26. John

    I recently booked my first Carnival Cruise, since then I have been following your blogs and It is a pleasure to find out that you will be the CD on the Carnival Legend as she does her European itinerary this year. We are on the May 4th cruise departing Venice. This will the first part of our special Europe trip.

    I certainly hope that Sherry and myself will have the pleasure to meet you on board the Legend. We are celebrating a milestone birthday for Sherry.

    I know we will have a great trip and look forward to meeting all of the wonderful staff on the Legend.

    It’s all about attitude go forth with a smile on your face and a positive heartfelt respect for everybody and you cannot help but have a spectacular trip.

    30 sleeps but who’s counting.


    Shed and Erry’s Most Excellent Adventure
    British Columbia
    Canada eh!

  27. Roger & Vaughan Piper says:

    We sailed with you on the Breeze from Barcelona to Miami and now will sail with you again on the Legend from Tampa back to Barcelona. Looking forward to seeing you again this coming Sunday on the Legend. Roger and Vaughan Piper

  28. judy bogenrief says:

    John when are they going to Post the May 2014 prices for the Breeze. we have always been able to book at least 18 months out. we are down to 13 mos…help I need to book my cruise.

  29. Kurt George says:

    Mr Heald,
    First of all it’s great to have you back, although I am saddened that you have been taken away from your family. I wanted you to know that the room service menu is more than adequate as it stands. The addition of a burger and fries would most certainly be a plus. Having sailed with other cruise lines, I appreciate that Carnival does not charge extra for a late night order. I always seem to stay in the casino too long and miss the offerings on the Lido, and sometimes pizza won’t satiate my post midnight cravings. Thankfully the room service menu has an ample and diverse selection to choose from and the pangs of starvation are soon arrested. After 3 full meals and several snacking sessions during the day, a fellow works up quite an appetite working the one armed bandits in the casino!
    Keep up the fine work good sir, and god speed!

  30. Shelley Buffaloe says:

    This comment is totally unrelated to this post, but I wasn’t sure where else to post…we got off the carnival dream this morning…we had a great cruise :). We saw comedian Hank McGauley and he recommended reading an inspirational book called ‘the one’ or something like that, I’m trying to find the name of the book so I can get it. Any help would be appreciated!

  31. Teresa Moore says:

    First let me say I love Carnival and think you are v awesome. I read a few weeks back you posted the Fantasy would have unlimited internet after dry dock. I an on her know and that’s not the case. In in e10.

  32. Mary Kay says:

    I can’t believe all the griping about hamburgers being available 24/7. If they were on the room service menu then we would hear all the griping about how long the room service took and how they were cold when they got them. Just be grateful Carnival has FREE room service that is a damn site better than most hotels!

  33. Hey John, you were back on the first. Now it’s the 7th. I really miss your writing on the blog. When do you think you’ll be back again?


  34. Kristen Scarborough says:

    Hi John

    My Husband, In-laws and I are cruising to Alaska on Miracle Sept. 10th. I am wondering if you can give me some details on the Disembarkation in Vancouver? We are flying out of Seattle to JAX late that afternoon. How do we get back to SEA? Are we on our own or is a shuttle provided?

  35. Susan says:

    I have to say I am amazed at how much people complain in general. My family and I just left the Legend yesterday after a fun filled trip. We didn’t miss any ports but if we had, we fully realize that Carnival does not have control of the weather.

    For those that want to be compensated for a missed port…isn’t the fact that YOU DID NOT DIE during tendering compensation enough? I’m certain your captain made the correct decision and don’t forget you’re in the middle of the ocean, Mother Nature doesn’t know that you are on vacation and doesn’t care. What do you do at home if you lose power? Ask for a discount from the electric company because your DVR couldn’t record? Don’t forget, you are still on vacation. I’m sure Carnival would rather happily and safely deliver you to any port than explain and apologize over weather conditions they cannot control. As for those that are going to complain that Carnival shouldn’t pick that port…they wouldn’t have built a Duty Free Shop there if it wouldn’t make money. Go have another BBC (my personal favorite) and just enjoy.

  36. Brad Shelton says:

    Greetings, John!

    May I suggest that you change your default dictionary to Queen’s English? Perhaps then you’ll get your esses in order.


  37. Esver Camacho says:

    John on the Carnival Legend is the best news I could have hoped for (well, my daughter’s announcement that she’s expecting a baby trumps this but that’s a different story)! My wife and I had the privilege of having you as our CD on the Carnival Magic on its second sailing. Now we’re booked on the Carnival Legend for its one-off itinerary on September 13th, 2013. What’s more, this is the first time that I will be traveling with my parents on a European cruise (they wanted in once I told them about the ports of call) so it’s special and and your presence will make it that much more delightful. Thank you for being the wonderful person you are. By the way, I too am writing this in my underpants on the Carnival Victory somewhere between Nassau and Half Moon Cay.

    Dancing on a cloud,

    Esver & Cristina

  38. Geo Schroder says:

    John, my wife and I will be cruising on the Carnival Inspiration on May17th, which will be our tenth cruise on Carnival qualifying us as platinum members for the first time. We have cruised with other companies, but keep coming back to Carnival because of the consistent care we have received, and the value we feel we receive. A couple of questions: is Carnival looking to update the show “Shout”? And, who will our cruise director be on this cruise? Do you still publish a list of cruise directors for upcoming cruises?

    Keep up the great work!


  39. Dennis says:

    Hey I played sports trivia on carnival sensation may 2013 her name is Stephanie but would u kno her last name she is great and I wanna put in a good word

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