Just kiss me

May 18, 2016 -

John Heald

Good morning everyone from Rome or to be precise the port of Civvithingy . It is 11:25am and there are only 209 guests on the ship which shows just how Rome continues to be the marquee port of call on this Mediterranean run. I have been sitting here in the Horizons dining room sine 8:30am and have answered a huge dollop of questions and will be back to do the same on Thursday.

The guests are all smiling and all happy and no doubt will return doing the same when they get back from walking around the coliseum and the Vatican and from throwing coins into the Trevi Fountain. Will they be exhausted? Yes they will be but will they be fulfilled and have ever lasting memories of this great city? Yes, they will but they will come back to a great meal, a clean and tidy cabin with a creature on the bed to make them smile and to enjoy shows, fun and live music to refresh them ready for a day in Bella Napoli tomorrow. Is there a better way to see Europe? Nope, I really do not think that there is.

One thing I doubt you will see any of our guests carrying ashore today in Rome is a map. That’s because you just don’t see tourists with maps anymore because they all have Uncle Google on their Eyesungs to show them the way.

However last night as I walked by the Alchemy Bar on deck 5 forward I saw something that you also don’t see much these days………….a couple kissing and I mean a proper, tongues disappearing , immersive kiss — and it was a shock to me because it made me think, what the heck happened to kissing?

You see, I had not seen public kissing on the ships for ages. Not since before everyone was so busy texting and Whats Apping.

This couple were in their thirties and it made me think, do young people these days just hook up and have rumpy pumpy by passing the kissing phase all together.

Kissing used to be an adventure all on its own and I would see guests kissing all the time, yes, you would . You’d snog on Lido in the sun, you would kiss standing by the railings on Lido deck and you would kiss walking down promenade deck not caring who would be watching .

It wasn’t necessarily an appetiser to full rumpy pumpy but it was a public ship wide public display of breathless pleasure that has it seems, just like tablecloths, disappeared.

These days kissing is the polite way saying hello, goodbye, thank you. Kissing is sexless as in men kiss men and women kiss women, sometimes actually touching or sometimes kissing the air which is simply a load of bollocks. Men kiss girls, our mums, some dogs and their screen saver of Megan Fox’s bottom in magazines. Arabs kiss four times on one side, eight on the other, unless there’s a jihad in the month when they just kiss their own arse goodbye. Frenchmen kiss each other just before battle and kiss each other again 5 minutes later after they have surrendered. Our Italian officers and Captains kiss me as well. This is because they either like me or because they are going to have me whacked.

But the art of kissing someone you love on ships has all but gone.

So the next time you cruise please, if you traveling with someone you love, kiss them. Kiss them at dinner, kiss them during a show, kiss them walking out of the Steakhouse, kiss them while dancing or kiss them standing in line at the buffet.

Next time you cruise, put your phone down and kiss someone, just not me.


Cheers, have a brilliant day and wywh

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.