April 29, 2014 -

John Heald

I am staying in a guest cabin this cruise here on the Carnival Miracle, so I want to start today’s blog with an observation, if I may. In the bathroom the stateroom stewards (or “stewarts” as they are sometimes called – FFS!) place three sizes of towels for us to use. There are the big ones used after a shower and there are the medium-sized ones that we use to dry our hands and faces after a wash or a shave and can also be used to wipe away that stubborn toothpaste mark from around the sink. (more…)

The Winter Olympics are well under way and it has been the ice hockey that has been the most watched on the Carnival Sunshine’s Lido Seaside Theater big screen. Interestingly, it has been the Canadian guests who seem to be the most patriotic. There are not many of them here, only 181 out of over 3,000 guests but those 181 are all wearing the maple leaf shirts and are extremely patriotic, it seems. (more…)

Let’s start with this today:


Jim Brunswick

I wanted you to read this thread made on Cruise Critic made by Carnival’s top cheerleader.



My point of concern is that you will see a message from Pine Bluff who states that “the crew does not like you” that I think you need to address and have the right to reply to. Care to comment because this is a serious allegation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (more…)

The Bloggers Cruise will be on Carnival Sunshine on February 16th 2014 from New Orleans and registering will entitle you to be part of the private events, shows, activities and a few gifts from me to you………..no, not fruit.

I am planning a lot of surprises for this cruise and I will also be bringing some of the entertainment I have been highlighting here in Europe so I have no doubt that this will be the best bloggers cruise ever. I truly hope to see you there.





Here is the link


So this is our last Baltic cruise and, goodness me, it has gone quickly. Next cruise, we will be in the Norwegian fjords and I will be talking about this in more detail on the next blog posting. Has the Baltic season been a success? Well as far as I can see based on the guest comments, the answer is a huge yes. There have been some challenges for sure but overall it has been a wonderful two months and I hope that airline fees settle down and that this and other operational reasons allow us to return here soon. (more…)


January 16, 2013 -

John Heald

Occasionally, I get to use this blog to write my own personal opinions, not just about cruising but about what’s happening in the world. Last night I had quite a heated discussion with some guests who are bloggers and have booked a back-to-back cruise here. It wasn’t about food or Faster to the Fun or the Cheers bar program or my underpants, but rather about Lance Armstrong who, as you know, will appear on Her Royal Highness Oprah Winfrey’s show. (more…)


January 7, 2013 -

John Heald

Social media can be a minefield that, if you are not careful, will blow your bollocks off. For many people, sites like Facebook are all about simply finding someone you had rumpy pumpy with 10 years ago and contacting her asking if there is a chance that you do so again. (more…)


November 28, 2012 -

John Heald

It’s strange to think that I won’t be a cruise director for a few months after spending seven months in the chair on the Carnival Breeze. I won’t be the CD for BC6, although I will be hosting a Marriage Show and Calvyn and I will host live morning shows for the audience to enjoy. It never gets easier being an older cruise director and especially during the conference last week when I was surrounded by youth and vitality and more hair product than a sodding beauty salon …………..and that’s just the male CDs. (more…)

Bloggers Cruise 6 Slogan Contest

September 19, 2012 -

Eric the Beard

Hello Bloggy People,

Eric the Beard here with some fun and exciting news. If you were on Facebook yesterday, you may have heard that John crossed the 15 million view mark right here on his blog thingy! This is an exciting milestone for him — as well as for us tofu-loving beards — and it’s a testament to how amazing this wonderful community of bloggers and cruise lovers really is.

So… it would be un-beardly of us if we didn’t do something to celebrate, right? That’s why I’m excited to announce the official Bloggers Cruise 6 Slogan Contest!


So during the show last night, I took some people from the audience for some pre-show fun before the Divas revue. It included a young couple who, when I asked for their names and where they were from, they replied they were from Denver, Colorado. I then shocked myself by instead of saying, “Are you having fun?” or “What’s your favourite port so far?” or “Bugger me your wife is gorgeous, are they real?” I went straight into the, “I am so sorry, how dreadful, it’s awful, I hope they cut his bollocks off and shove 50,000 volts through his arse.”

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.