February 27, 2012 -

John Heald

It’s only now, on Monday, February 27, that I am starting to feel on the road to recovery following my Ebola/swamp fever and resulting pink eye. Once the doctor had told me my eye wasn’t contagious, I had to make the decision to carry on working and performing despite the fact that I felt like crap. It started off as a normal cold, a bit of a sniffle, and a feeling that the cabin air conditioner had broken because one minute I would be roasting the cabin to the point where Ketut was cleaning my room in a pair of Speedos and the next turning it into an igloo. Obviously when I called Heidi she was very sympathetic, saying “I suppose it’s man flu. Ha. You should try giving birth. Then you’d understand the meaning of true pain you bastard. Kye came out sideways and I was making you dinner 20 minutes later. So get off your arse and go host a show.”

Give Me 5

October 13, 2011 -

John Heald

As you will see, we will be talking about the Miami office later and indeed we shall start with some office chat as well. Now I haven’t worked in an office for 25 years. The only time I did was when I first started work for Customs and Excise Branch 1AQ. That sounds fantastic doesn’t it? (more…)

Today’s blog is a little different and will concentrate mostly on how the storm affected some of the ships. So then, without further ado, let’s crack on with some Q and A. (more…)

Swinging… On A Rope… Or Not

January 13, 2011 -

John Heald

When I am home with the girls I start each morning the same way. Go downstairs at 7 am, make Kye a bottle of milk, check my sugar level, take my pill, collect the newspaper from the doormat, go back upstairs, give Kye her milk and then take the newspaper into the bathroom, sit down and enjoy 20 minutes of absolute total peace and quiet………minus the odd splash.


Cruising With The Sopranos

January 10, 2011 -

John Heald

My sister Suzanne and I have always had a relationship based on my teasing her relentlessly and her putting up with it as best she could. Once when I was 14 and she was 10 I told her that Mum didn’t love us anymore and had moved to Africa, when she had just gone to the local shop for some milk. (more…)

A Blog Full of Non-Alcoholic Sparkles

January 3, 2011 -

John Heald

“Are you an alcoholic?”

I was asked this by a complete stranger at the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square during the New Years Eve extravaganza of which I will be writing more later. I was standing at the bar and while the beautiful people of New York were ordering Cosmopolitans and Slippery Nipples I of course had requested a glass of…………yep…………Diet Coke.

Now over the years I have discovered that Americans are never fearful of telling complete strangers exactly what’s on their mind. (more…)

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.