December 27, 2011 -

John Heald

When my beautiful wife Heidi said choosing a puppy would be the easy part I really didn’t pay much attention. She is from a family who has had dogs all their lives while the only dog I have ever had was called Rachael – she was a spa therapist on the Jubilee which Heidi says doesn’t count as being a dog lover. And so here we are with our new German shepherd puppy and I can tell you that actually looking after it that makes looking after Kye when she was a newborn baby seem only slightly more difficult than the $100 question on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.


Family Business

July 25, 2011 -

John Heald

It’s 6:35am and I can’t be arsed writing a blog today. So if it’s OK with you, I’ll just sit here in my underpants, picking my nose and eating a bag of pistachio nuts for breakfast. And I am not going to brush my teeth today, not even the bent one. Well, it’s not like there is a long line of Latvian strippers in suspenders standing outside my cabin, are they? Why? Because according to my online newspaper this morning, a professor from Oxford University with a beard was talking about how at the age of 45 we become completely invisible to the opposite sex. Yep, that’s me finished then so why carry on? Women disappear like a fart in a hurricane at the first sign of a love handle and oversized non-Calvin Klein underpants. I guess only George Clooney and George Hamilton are the exceptions to the rule. Professor Beard is blaming marriage and that when we get married we both stop making the effort.


Carnival Pride Fun Times

July 21, 2011 -


Hi friends of John! While he’s away from blogging today, I’m here with a batch of Fun Times from the Carnival Pride. John wanted you to have these.


Carnival Pride Fun Times

Update: Here are the Fun Times PDFs for the Grand Turk/Half Moon Cay Carnival Pride itinerary.

The Devil wears J.C. Penny

July 5, 2011 -

Guest Blogger

Rose Nylund from the Golden Girls once said, “Don’t sit too close the opera, it may spoil the effect.” For the most part that statement is entirely true. Oftentimes people meet their childhood heroes and expect them to be exactly like their public persona; however that is rarely the case.

Take for example my dinner with a rock star:


Carnival Miracle And The Big Apple

June 15, 2011 -

John Heald


Line’s First Year-Round Departures from the Big Apple

MIAMI (June 15, 2011) – Carnival Cruise Lines will launch a year-round program of eight-day cruises to the Caribbean and Bahamas from New York beginning in April 2012 – the line’s first year-round sailings from that port.
On this schedule, Carnival Miracle will offer three uniquely different eight-day itineraries that visit a diversity of beautiful islands throughout the Caribbean and Bahamas. The itineraries include:


Not a Moment Too Soon

June 10, 2011 -

John Heald

There are some people in this world that truly make me laugh. John Cleese, my mate Alan, Ricky Gervais and of course my beloved daughter Kye……………………oh and this chap here…………Entertainment Staff member Calvyn Martens.

Here is a guest blog written in his own “happy” style.


Our man in London….is in Dubai.

April 4, 2011 -

John Heald

If you ever wondered what happened to the grand old QE2, have a read of this brilliant blog from Peter Shanks.


Bloggers Cruise 4: Wrap Up Video

March 7, 2011 -

Eric the Beard

Hello Bloggers, Eric the Beard here! I don’t know about you but I’ve just now FINALLY recovered from all the fun that took place on Bloggers Cruise 4 and all of its Glory! (See what I did there?)

To be honest, I was severely deprived of my regular tofu consumption throughout the trip (I totally forgot to pack my emergency tofu kit from home) and towards the end, I have to say I was getting a bit weak in the knees, a little delirious, and my beard even started wilting a bit… it was quite scary. (I think I need to talk with the Food & Beverage Manager about future Lido dining options…)

Outside of Grand Turk — and in front of some almost blindingly blue water — John and Emmet say hello from Bloggers Cruise 4.

Links From the Ship

March 4, 2011 -


Here are a couple of things John didn’t want you to miss while he’s on Bloggers Cruise 4:


John Heald Bloggers Cruise Participants Donate $1,500 to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital

That’s amazing! Go bloggers!


Fun Times from Carnival Miracle

There are a whole bunch of Fun Times today from different itineraries. Enjoy!

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.