The Hangover………before the TA

September 23, 2013 -

John Heald


“We should ban anyone over 40 from drinking alcohol on board.” Good morning. It’s 8:35 am here as I begin to write this part of today’s blog. My morning started with a visit to the coffee shop before I hosted the Morning Show and that’s when I met a guest who, through half-closed eyes and the complexion of a bullfrog, said these words, “We should ban anyone over 40 from drinking alcohol on board.” (more…)


September 3, 2013 -

John Heald

These days, most TV game shows like Who Wants to be a Millionaire or Jeopardy tend to have celebrity versions where Z-list celebrities are people who came 28th on American Idol or have been in a soap opera or a reality show with Mr. Trump or who starred in a rumpy pumpy tape that their boyfriend filmed without their knowledge. Instead of us watching regular members of the public on a TV game show, sweating nervously as they try to win enough money for a Carnival cruise or a new car or to buy a bigger thingy, we have a celebrity who most of us have never heard of trying to win lots of money for the charities that often involve donkeys or the protection of a rare bird that has been sighted off the coast of Michigan. (more…)


March 25, 2013 -

John Heald


February 25, 2013 -

John Heald


February 5, 2013 -

John Heald

Across the fleet hundreds of guests enjoyed the spectacle that is the Super Bowl. Here are two reports from the Carnival Inspiration and first from Carnival Breeze as written by Cruise Director Butch Begovich. (more…)

Merry Christm…… Happy Holidays Everyone.

December 17, 2012 -

John Heald


July 6, 2012 -

John Heald

One of my favourite things to do is to host the Marriage Show as it sharpens my improv skills and mostly because I get to meet people like this wonderful couple. The song at the end is both funny and poignant and a message I personally have taken to heart….laugh it off.


Part 1




Part 2





Part 3



May 14, 2012 -

John Heald

Let me ask you a question. Why the heck do people who I hardly know put an “X” at the end of their emails? I have never kissed these people and never will. You have never had rumpy pumpy with these people yet…….they finish their emails with a kiss. Most people now seem to feel that it’s the law to send electronic kisses, not only to people they work with, but everyone else as well. It used to be that “best wishes” sufficed but now routine messages, even to someone you have never met, must end with an electronic tongue down the throat. I would guess that nine out of 10 women who write emails to me from Carnival’s land and sea operations finish with a kiss. And this happens so much that I worry that an email without kisses means this person is angry with them.


COOL BREEZE…..and my complaints.

May 10, 2012 -

John Heald

Good afternoon everyone.

Tomorrow is move on day for the crew so it’s going to be extra busy for me as I supervise my department and help them move from the hotel onto the Carnival Breeze. It looks like I will have to stay in the hotel over the weekend as my cabin is not quite ready yet as the infinity pool needs to be filled and the Egyptian silk sheets have not arrived from Harrods just yet. OK, that’s bollocks of course. Ketut is getting the cabin ready but so far I don’t have a computer yet as one of the biggest jobs is for our I/S department to set up over 100 personal computers and much, much more. So in order for me to keep working as the wireless system is also not working just yet, I will stay in the hotel over the weekend and hope to move on Monday. This will mean I will be able to continue to keep you updated here and on Facebook.

So, it’s a quick blog today and we start with three more videos from the ship which Peter the Hair and I made a few weeks ago. I hope you enjoy them: