John’s Vista Blog- Day 7

May 10, 2016 -

John Heald -


Good morning everyone and for the very first time a Carnival Cruise Line ship is docked in the historic and biblically epic country of Malta. It is Carnival’s first call here as I said and indeed my first time on this English-speaking island of amazing beauty. We are docked in Valletta where the Knights of St. John built the Maltese capital in the 16th and 17th centuries (more…)

John’s Vista Blog- Day 6

May 8, 2016 -

John Heald -


Good morning from the Greek island of Crete and a glorious hot and sunny Mediterranean Day for the guests on the Carnival Vista. The guests are ashore exploring and their mood is quite fantastic, yes it really is. OK, there were a few minor moans to me about the scrambled eggs on Lido and that the Casino should be none smoking but without sounding like a broken record I have to say that this inaugural cruise is going brilliantly. (more…)

John’s Vista Blog- Day 5

May 7, 2016 -

John Heald -


Good morning from Greece and the port of Piraeus. It is 9 am and here I sit in the Ocean Plaza, in a toga, writing to you on what is a hot and sunny day. Already we have 75 percent of the ship ashore, most on tours and those who have booked excursions will be feeling very thankful they booked one because at 8am this morning, a general strike was called by the Greek transportation unions and that meant no metro, no trains and very, very limited public buses. Yep, those guests who thought they would get the metro were really buggeredopolos. (more…)

John’s Vista Blog-Day 4

May 6, 2016 -

John Heald -


Good morning from the Carnival Vista and today is our next to last sea day in what is a very port-intensive program. Yep, we have Athens tomorrow and then Crete and one last sea day before an all-port-day end to the cruise.

Are guests happy? Well, yes, they absolutely are — not everyone, obviously, as that would be a ridiculous statement for me to make but 99.9% of the guests are and they love, love, love the ship and, of course, the crew. (more…)


May 4, 2016 -

John Heald -


Good morning from beautiful Montenegro and Carnival’s first-ever visit here. Guests are being tendered ashore and enjoying lagoon-type conditions and stunning — I mean properly stunning — scenery. Mr. Radu is out photographing and Peter the Hair is out videotaping and they will both share their talents with you on our Facebook page. Me………well, I have been sitting in the Ocean Plaza since 8:30 am answering a huge bucket load of questions. I will stop now but will do the same on Friday (Thursday night leaving a marker from where I will start) and, hopefully, this will help with my schedule and the time difference. (more…)


May 3, 2016 -

John Heald -


Good morning everyone and here we are in our first port of call, Dubrovnik, and despite it being a rather grey day, there is much excitement to explore this amazing port of call. Ever since we started coming to Dubrovnik on Carnival Liberty in 2006 (Oh, FFS, was it really 10 years ago), it has always been a port that has massively exceeded expectations and its history of surviving civil war and the stunning beauty of its coastline always surprises people. (more…)

Carnival Vista- Day 1

May 3, 2016 -

John Heald -


Good morning.  It’s 8:30am here on your Carnival Vista and the sun is pushing through the clouds as we spend the day at sea as Captain Rocco Lubrano takes us to Dubrovnik, Croatia, tomorrow. “So how was the first night on board?” I hear you cry. Well, it was brilliant, it really was. Now straight away, I know Hog Rider, Je Souflet and the Cruise Critic boards will be sitting in their parent’s basement saying, “Stop spinning the truth, Heald, you fat useless idiot, no way was it perfect.”  And you know what, they are right – nothing is ever perfect, especially for a brand new, first-of-its-kind ship. But I will always tell you about everything — the brilliant and the not so brilliant — so let’s crack on, shall we? (more…)

Just Do It

December 3, 2015 -

John Heald -


Hello everyone. My name is John Heald . I am ugly, and have thighs that could hold up an oil rig. I also have the best job in the world, I am the Senior Cruise Director and Brand Ambassador for Carnival Cruise Line

Over the past 29 years I have worked on our ships and watched the company grow and continued to watch the guests have extraordinary off the charts fun.

Cruising with Carnival allows something that the world we live in tries to suffocate more and more every day and that is worrying about what others may think of us, what we do, what we say and how we live our lives. (more…)

Piano Bar Schedule with Bond, James Bond

November 3, 2015 -

John Heald -


Tonight, I shall head to the cinema — or the “pictures,” as we used to say back when I snuck into naughty films such as Kentucky Fried Movie. I am going to see the new Bond movie “Spectre” and this may be the last time I ever pay to see a movie from what used to be the greatest franchise of all time. The last two Bond movies have been, in my opinion, absolute rubbish. They were so far removed from the Bond movies that I grew up on that I am quite nervous about heading out to see this new one and will know in the first few minutes of the movie if it is going to be exciting, a true homage to the genre or as exciting as watching a yak called Dave hump a yak called Sally with Kenny G music playing in the background. Spectre will hopefully start with a bit of random killing before we find Bond in bed with a girl who he had met a few minutes earlier. Hearing his Omega watch go beep which meant his Queen and country needed him, he will leap from under the sheets, look at the long-legged beauty with no name and say, “My darling, you were amazing last night. But I am James Bond and I must go now because I have to blow up an oil rig before returning to have rumpy pumpy with your sister.”


Start Your Journey

October 13, 2015 -

John Heald -


Good morning from the Carnival Dream and today on our Carnival Journeys cruise, where the ship sits in the harbour of St. Martin or indeed St. Maarten. Yep, you visit this island on your cruise and you will buy one…..get one free. St. Martin happens to be the smallest island on the planet that’s shared by two countries. Two-thirds is called Saint Martin and is in the French Caribbean — all sophistication, fine dining, fashion boutiques and rudeness; and one-third is called Sint Maarten, in the Dutch Antilles — with faster food, noisier nightlife and hair braiding. (more…)

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